Chapter 58 #2
‘You did? That’s smart.’ So smart I wish I’d been sensible enough to think of it. I can see from the smile on Caz’s face that she appreciates the compliment, and I can’t help but think back to what she said in Galreck, about feeling like she was finding herself on the trip. She definitely is.
The cave is far larger than I expected from Fen’s comments. Certainly large enough to get a decent fire going, provided we have the wood, and for each of us to have a little bit of privacy, including the wolves.
Moving towards the entrance, I kick at the snow, flecks of green appearing beneath my feet.
‘There are some shrubs just here,’ I say with some excitement. ‘I can build them up once we’re all inside for the night. Make a wall. It should shield us from any wind or snow that comes.’
‘Smart,’ Caz fires back at me, drawing a reciprocal smile. ‘Assuming it’s not too green. Might make us an easy target for any of the Issen.’
She’s right, and once again, I wish I’d thought of it, but it won’t take too much snow to offer us some camouflage, and with one of us on watch and the wolves alert, it should be all right. The snow mostly stopped by the time we got here, but I’m sure it’ll start again soon enough.
‘I’ll go find that wood,’ Caz says again, bringing me back to the moment. ‘I guess you should get in the queue for your hugs.’
I turn around to see what she’s talking about.
Both Ruben and Kyor are standing at the back of the cave unbuttoning their shirts.
Skin on skin has always been the best way for Ruben to transfer his heat to someone, the same way he did with me when I rescued Fen, but this is the first time I’ve seen Kyor accept one of Ruben’s hugs with his shirt off. That’s definitely something new.
‘Come on, be honest, you’ve dreamed about this too,’ Benny whispers in my ear as he sidles up beside me. I move to elbow him in the side, but he shifts away, his eyes meeting mine with rare seriousness.
‘So about Ruben …’ he says tentatively.
As I glance around, I see that Caz and Thessa are already gone.
‘You like him?’ I finish, trying to speed the conversation along.
‘Right, and I think he might like me too …’
I glance back at Ruben, who is now topless and wrapping his arms around Kyor. Yup, that’s definitely an image I didn’t expect to see on the trip, and it’s one that’s surprisingly difficult to draw my eyes away from.
‘Okay,’ I say, finally looking back at Benny. ‘So what’s the problem? If you’re worried about Ruben and me—’
‘No, no, that’s not it,’ Benny says remarkably quickly.
‘I know how much he loved you and everything, but I think he started to let go of that idea when you entered the Retterheld. He knew you’d win, knew you’d go on to bigger, brighter things, and leave him behind.
When you reconnected, it rekindled that hope a little, I think, but …
it didn’t take much to snuff it out. He’s realised you and Kyor are meant to be.
No, the issue isn’t with him. It’s with me. ’
‘With you?’ I question, ignoring the ‘meant to be’ comment.
With a slight sniff, Benny bites down on his bottom lip. ‘Okay, so I should probably admit I’ve never had a relationship before. Well, I’ve had “relationships”.’ He uses his fingers as air quotes. ‘I’ve had plenty of those. Like loads and loads. Too many to even—’
‘I get the idea,’ I cut across him.
‘Right.’ His feet shift slightly on the stone floor of the cave. ‘It’s just … he’s special, right?’
Warmth floods my cheeks as I turn back to Ruben, who is finally moving away from Kyor. ‘Yeah, he is.’
‘And I don’t want to screw it up. And there are so many reasons it would be a disaster in the making. I mean, with my position, he and I … long term, it’s just—’
Facing Benny once more, I place my hands on his shoulders, stopping his rambling. ‘You know what? I don’t think it’s me you need to be telling this to,’ I say, glancing back at the other two.
This time, Ruben’s eyes flicker across to us. ‘Hey, so the precious princeling is all warmed up,’ he teases, voice warm. ‘Which one of you two is next?’
Rather than answering, Benny looks at me, something almost like fear in his eyes. I respond to it with the only thing I can: a smile, which remains on my face as I turn back and look at Ruben.
‘That’ll be Benny,’ I say, slapping my friend on the arm before whispering in his ear, ‘You’ve got this, buddy.’
With a glance at Kyor, I raise my voice. ‘Hey, Kyor, want to help me find some wood?’ I say as he strides across to me. ‘You too, Loch.’
While Loch, who was running his hands over the stone walls, immediately vacates the cave, no doubt having heard the conversation between Benny and me, a frown creases the prince’s face. ‘I thought the others had gone to do that,’ he questions.
‘Yes,’ I press the word pointedly. ‘But we could always do with more.’
‘Really? I was going to—’
‘Any time now would be great.’ I offer him my most withering glare before skirting my eyes across to Benny and Ruben. Finally getting it, Kyor gapes slightly before he clamps his jaw shut and moves to join me.
‘You know, I’ve only just got warm,’ he says as we head back out of the cave, Loch ambling in front of us. ‘And now you’re making me get cold again just so they can get some alone time?’
‘That’s exactly what I’m doing,’ I respond.
As soon as we step outside, my eyes are drawn to the sky and the bright blue expanse that’s been revealed.
‘The weather changes so quickly here,’ I say aloud.
‘Yes, I don’t think the mountains have ever looked so clear.’
He’s right. Not only that, but we’re much closer to the base – and hopefully a passageway through – than I thought.
Any vague inclination I might have had to actually fetch wood is gone as I stare at the steep peaks.
The sweeping lines cut through the cerulean sky, some sharper and angrier, others far softer, smoothed by snow and centuries of wind and rain.
My eyes catch on one particular peak and I notice something: a slight shimmering of purple.
The movement of it … it reminds me of something Stide taught me.
And that makes my heart pang all over again.
‘Kyor?’ I say, already moving closer towards the range, trying to get a different view – a clearer view. ‘Can you see that?’
‘What is it?’
‘The mountains.’ I point unnecessarily at the beasts that rise through the air. ‘Look at them.’
‘It’s pretty hard not to. They fill the entire view.’
‘No, look at them. Really look at them.’
I feel him frowning at me, but I don’t so much as glance in his direction. I can’t. All my attention is back on the slopes, at the same one I was staring at before, with the wide, sharp ledge.
‘There!’ I practically jump on the spot. ‘Did you see it?’
‘See what?’ Kyor asks.
‘The colour. It flickered. Changed.’
‘It’s probably the sunlight?’ he suggests. ‘Or the snow drifting.’
‘No, it wasn’t that. I promise. Please, look again. Pick a point and focus. It’s not the sun. I know it’s not.’
I check above me just to be sure, but there’s not so much as a single cloud in the sky now, and the sun sits low. Whatever I saw, it wasn’t because of the light.
The silence is taut with anticipation, and all I can hear is my heart drumming in my chest as I stare once again at the peaks. This time the shimmer is even more pronounced, with flecks of gold and brown. I spin around and look at Kyor.
‘Did you see it that time?’ My voice is almost begging. ‘Tell me you saw it that time.’
‘Words, words, but not what he wants to say.’ Loch is rambling beside me, but I try to block him out, looking only at Kyor as I repeat myself.
‘Tell me you saw it?’ I plead.
‘Uh … I … maybe … I’m not sure. What am I supposed to be seeing again?’
My frustration is close to boiling over.
I’m right – I know I am. I just wish he could see it too.
‘There,’ I say, pointing to a narrow ridge on the mountainside. ‘Just look there. Don’t take your eyes off it, no matter what. Okay? Don’t take your eyes off it until—’
‘Rose!’ Caz’s voice cuts through the air, and I spin around, distracted and annoyed, desperate for Kyor to see what I’m sure I’ve spotted. As she races towards me, her face a mixture of excitement and fear, my heart lurches.
‘Rose, Thessa said she saw something. The mountain. The mountain, she said—’
I rush towards the Sanning, nearly breathless. ‘You saw it too? I’m not imagining it?’
‘No.’ She shakes her head. ‘No, you are not, The Rose. I saw it too.’
‘Saw what?’ Kyor questions, frustration bleeding into his voice. ‘What is it you saw?’
My eyes remain on Thessa a moment longer, needing her reassurance that what I saw wasn’t because of exhaustion. Not because of fading light or snowdrifts. It was because of what Stide taught me all those weeks ago. The Sanning who lost her life for us and yet may have just saved us once again.
With my heart tight with uncertainty and joy, I look back at Kyor, unable to stop the grin on my lips.
‘The mountain range,’ I tell him. ‘It’s an illusion. That’s our way through! It’s all an illusion.’