Chapter 37
Safiya groaned softly as her eyes fell on Zaviyar, who sat unnervingly calm on the edge of the bed while the doctor carefully dressed his wound.
Her fingers dug into his shoulder as if grounding herself, her thumb unconsciously rubbing slow circles over his arm while she peeked at the injury.
The sight of blood-soaked cotton made her stomach twist, and she instinctively squeezed her eyes shut for a second before forcing herself to look again.
" Aaram se karein please, dard na ho inhe. ", Her voice trembled just a little as she addressed the doctor, concern etched deep into her expression. Every time fresh blood seeped through the dressing, her grip on Zaviyar tightened as though she could somehow take the pain away from him.
( Please do it gently. He shouldn't be in pain.)
" It's okay, Safiya. It's not that serious.
", Zaviyar spoke softly, almost reassuring, even as the doctor finished up and began scribbling down a list of antibiotics.
The rest of the family stood nearby, listening attentively to the precautions being explained, but Safiya heard none of it.
Her world had narrowed down to him. She held his hand tightly, her other palm cupping his cheek, scanning his face for even the slightest flicker of discomfort.
Finding none, she finally let out a breath she hadn't realised she was holding.
Once everyone filed out and the room fell silent, Safiya turned back to him only to find him casually scrolling through his phone as if nothing had happened.
" Yeh kya harkat hain... ", Zaviyar retorted sharply the moment his phone was tugged out of his hand.
Safiya didn't bother responding. She simply dropped his phone aside and folded her arms across her chest, fixing him with a look that spoke volumes.
Zaviyar closed his eyes, already knowing he was about to be scolded.
(What kind of behaviour is this )
" Meri taraf dekho...", Reluctantly, he opened his eyes.
(Look at me...)
" Kyu kiya yeh sab Zaviyar? "
(Why did you do all this, Zaviyar?)
" Kya? "
(What?)
" Kursi peh bithana, dada jaan ke usulon ke khilaaf jaana, mere liye... ", Her voice faltered as her gaze drifted to the bandaged part of his waist, where faint red stains still bled through the white gauze.
( Making me sit on the chair, going against Dada jaan's principles, for me... )
" Tumhe kharoch bhi aajati touh meri jaan nikal jaati hain, aur yeh touh fir bhii.... "
( Even a scratch on you drains the life out of me, and this is far worse...)
He stood up abruptly, turning his face away, a heavy sigh escaping him as if he didn't trust himself to meet her eyes.
" You're slowly starting to worry me, Zaviyar. ", Safiya whispered, gently turning his face back toward her, forcing him to look at her. Yet he resisted, his gaze fixed anywhere but her eyes.
" Tumhe chinta karne ki koi zaroo- ", He tried to move away, but the words died in his throat as a pained groan slipped past his lips.
(You don't need to worry-)
" Wai-wait. Don't move...", Safiya immediately sprang into action, placing pillows behind him with careful urgency.
(Stop, don't move...)
Only then did she notice his shoes were still on. Before he could protest, she sat beside him and began removing them, followed by his socks.
" N-no st-stop. I can do that on my own. ", His weak protest earned him a sharp glare.
(No, stop. I can do that myself.)
" Chup hokar bethe, kar rahi hu na mein. ", She covered him with the blanket up to his thighs, her movements firm yet impossibly gentle.
(Sit quietly. I'm doing it, aren't I?)
" I can ask you the same question, Safiya... ", She tilted her head slightly, and he continued, his voice softer now.
" You said you would never touch my feet lest bent down before me. So what is this now? I'm not saying i want you to, but why now? ", Safiya paused before answering, as if choosing her words carefully.
" Back there it was not just a custom but rather oppression. Here... I'm doing it because i want to not because someone is ordering me to do it. ", Zaviyar watched her intently as she spoke, her eyes fixed on his wounds, her words carrying more weight than she perhaps realised.
" in this room, we are each other's life partners.
I don't need to bend down before you to show you respect nor do you need to do so.
I don't understand the obsession with guys bending before their lovers or vice versa and that being romanticised.
Love is not about showing off rather being there when their lover is in need.
", For a moment, Zaviyar forgot how to breathe.
He was utterly mesmerised by her, by her conviction, her clarity, her quiet strength.
Safiya startled when she suddenly felt his hand rest on her head, his fingers ruffling her hair playfully. She pouted instantly.
" I will go change out of these clothes... ", She was about to rush away when she felt herself being pulled back.
Zaviyar's hand shot out, wrapping around her arm and tugging her into his lap.
Safiya landed against him with a soft gasp, her eyes widening in shock.
His arm slid around her bare waist, pulling her closer, while her palm instinctively pressed against his chest. She looked up at him, utterly appalled.
" K-kya kar rahe ho? "
(W-what are you doing?)
"Tumhe samajhne ki koshish kar raha hoon..."
(I'm trying to understand you...)
"Samajhne ke liye itna paas aana zaroori nahi hota."
(You don't need to come this close to understand someone.)
"Zaroori hai."
(It is necessary.)
"Tumhe sirf baaton se nahi..."
(I don't want to know you just through words...)
"...har saans mein, har ehsaas mein, har tareeqe se jaan'na chahta hoon main."
( I want to know you through every breath, every feeling, every way.)
Before Safiya could respond, a knock echoed through the room. She immediately pushed him away, creating distance between them as she hurried to the door.
The doctor stood there apologetically, informing her that Zaviyar needed a tetanus shot.
Zaviyar shot him a look of pure disgust before glaring at him.
" Koi zaroorat nhi hain. Itni gehri chot nhi hain. "
(There's no need. The wound isn't that deep.)
" Bhala kyu? Ek injection lelo, baad mein koi problem nhi hogi. ", Safiya cut in sharply, leaving no room for argument.
( Why not? Just take the injection, there won't be any problem later. )
" Aap andar aaye. " , She guided the doctor in and stood firmly beside Zaviyar.
(Please come inside.)
" Safiya, mein mna kar raha hu na. ", Zaviyar clicked his tongue against his cheek before speaking calmly.
(Safiya, I'm refusing.)
" Mene kuch hee din pehle liya hai ek injection abhi lene ki zaroorat nhi hain. "
(I took an injection just a few days ago, there's no need now.)
" Oh really? Kitne din pehle liya hai?", His eyes narrowed, irritation flaring being questioned in front of his man was something he wasn't accustomed to. But Safiya didn't care.
(Oh really? How many days ago exactly?)
" Exactly, you don't even remember. So chup chap lelo ek injection. Kuch nhi hota, you cry baby. Tum kabhi meri baat sunte hee nhi ho, abhi agar infection hogaya touh? Fir kya hoga socha hain. Lekin tum kyu sochoge, nawab jouh thehre- "
(Exactly, you don't even remember. So quietly take the injection. Nothing happens, you cry baby. You never listen to me. What if it gets infected? Have you thought about what will happen then? But why would you think-you are a Nawab after all-)
" SAFIYA... ", Zaviyar snapped sharply, the sudden edge in his voice making her stiffen instantly.
The room fell silent. Safiya went quiet, her shoulders squaring as she stepped away without another word.
The doctor, sensing the tension thickening the air, wasted no time.
He prepared the injection swiftly and moved toward Zaviyar.
Only for Zaviyar to turn his head and look at Safiya with eyes that were unmistakably pleading.
Safiya caught the unspoken request immediately. Understanding the doctor's helpless situation, she walked around to the other side of the bed. Without hesitation, she climbed onto it and gently held Zaviyar's right arm straight, her movements careful, deliberate.
Zaviyar, who had been glaring daggers at the doctor moments ago, froze the instant he felt Safiya's fingers wrap around his arm. Her hand slid into his grounding him. He observed her slender fingers, holding on his arm.
His eyes searched for hers and his heartbeat picked up the moment their gazes met. Safiya felt a soft flush spread across her cheeks despite herself. She tried reminding herself that she was still angry at him for raising his voice but her heart refused to listen.
The doctor couldn't help but smile at the sight. He stepped forward and administered the injection so quickly that it was over before Zaviyar even realised it had begun.
Zaviyar's eyes never left Safiya. She was focused entirely on the needle piercing into her husband's arm. She squeezed one eye shut tightly, her fingers unconsciously tightening around his arm.
She hated injections, loathing them in fact.
Even watching someone else get one made her queasy.
The doctor was soon done and pulled the syringe out, smiling at them reassuringly.
Safiya immediately began blowing air onto the spot where the injection had been given.
It was instinctive and she knew it wasn't really helping, however Zaviyar would later argue that it worked, right now he just watched her quietly.
He admired her in silence, the way her hair fluttered slightly as she blew air, the soft pout of her rosy lips as she soothed the spot with care.
As soon as the doctor left the room, Safiya looked up and froze. Zaviyar was far closer than she'd realised. Her eyes widened in surprise. She immediately released his arm and climbed down from the bed.
" Wait... "
Zaviyar reached out instinctively, only to wince slightly from the movement.
" Kya kar rahe ho yaar, seedhe betho. ", Safiya gasped and hurried back toward him, her worry overriding everything else. Zaviyar fell silent but his gaze lingered on her hands, how she stopped herself mid-motion, as though afraid to touch him again.
(What are you doing? Sit straight.)
Before she could step away, he caught her wrist, stopping her.
" Abhi bhi darti ho mujhse? "
(Are you still scared of me?)
" Darre meri jutti, aur baat nhi karo mere saath.
Aaj ke baad mein tumhe kuch nhi kahungi.
Kyuki mein kuch bhi kahu tumhe galat hee lagta hain.
Aur meri baat akhir tumhe sahi bhi kyu lageh, mein thori na tumhari pasand hu.
Yarrr yeh zulekha bhi na, bhaagne ka plan tha touh mujhe bhi bataya hota na.
Mein bhi bhaag jaati. ", She rambled on, frustration pouring out of her in one breathless stream, ending it with a defeated sigh.
( Scared, my foot. Don't talk to me anymore.
From today onwards, I won't say anything to you.
Because whatever I say feels wrong to you.
And why would my words feel right to you anyway.
I'm not even your choice. And that Zulekha, if she was planning to run away, she could've told me too. I would've run away as well.)
" Brake lagao, sanki ho kya tum. Bolna kya chahti ho? Mene kab tumhe- ", He started, exasperated but his words trailed off when he saw her glaring at him with pure rage.
(Put the brakes on, are you crazy? What are you even trying to say? When did I-)
" Jab mein injection lene ka bol rahi thi, tab mujhpar chillaye kyu? ", She asked, hands settling firmly on her hips.
(Why did you yell at me when I told you to take the injection?)
" Mene bas tumhara naam liya.... ", He replied simply genuinely unaware that his tone had risen earlier.
(I just called your name.)
" Haan touh chillaye na... Tone touh tumhari mere maths teacher jesi thi, woh bhi mujhpar yu chillaya karte the jab mein trigonometry mein galti karti thi.
Woh khoosat buddha, mujhe raste mein mil jaye uski mein geele rumaal se pitayi karungi.
", Zaviyar watched as Safiya once again lost track of her own argument, spiralling into a completely unrelated rant.
(Why did you yell at me?. Your tone was like my maths teacher's. He used to yell at me whenever I made mistakes in trigonometry. That grumpy old man, if I ever meet him, I'll show him.)
He couldn't help but notice how before she used to always argue with him on point, giving him sarcastic replies that were direct hits at his ego. But slowly and slowly she was letting her intrusive thoughts win, speaking everything on her mind.
Safiya though witty, had a habit of speaking a lot when she got comfortable with people often oversharing.
" Tumhe mehnat karne ki zaroorat nhi, mujhe batana mein unse hisaab barabar karlunga. ", He said with a casual shrug, only to earn a sharp glare.
(You don't need to work so hard, tell me and I'll settle the score with him.)
" Rehne dou, mujhe unhe sabak sikhana hain, jahunnum nhi bhejna. ", She pouted and turned away to leave, only to stop when she felt a tug on her hand.
(Let it be. I want to teach him a lesson, not send him to hell)
" Haath chhoro Zaviyar. ", She said sternly, not turning around. But in truth, she couldn't control the blood rushing to her cheeks as his fingers tightened around her hand.
(Leave my hand, Zaviyar.)
" Nhi chhorunga... Meri biwi ho! ", He said calmly and Safiya silently cursed her foolish heart for racing at such painfully corny words.
(I won't let go... you're my wife!)
" Mene aapko mujhe chhune ki ijazat nhi dii hain.. ", She snapped angrily as she turned around, only to gasp when he suddenly pulled her down, making her stumble toward him. He caged her in his arms, his hands coming up to gently cup her cheeks, his thumbs caressing her skin slowly.
(I didn't give you permission to touch me.)
She lifted her gaze, her hair now rested above his face, caressing his cheeks. Zaviyar slowly removed her hair before taking a strand and twirling it with his index finger. He slowly cupped her cheek
" Ye-ye kya- ", She began but he cut her off.
(W-what-)
" sorry for raising my voice at you earlier.
. mein bas tumse yeh kehna chahta hu ki logon ke saamne thoda sambhal kar bola karo.
Main nahi chahta ke koi tumhari masoomiyat ka ghalat matlab nikale ya uska faida uthaye.
Aur mujhe yeh bhi bardasht nahi ke koi gair mard tumhari baatein sune.
.. ya tumhari taraf aankh utha kar bhi dekhe.
", His thumb traced her freckles as he spoke, protective intensity lacing every word.
(Sorry for raising my voice earlier. Be careful while speaking in front of others. I don't want anyone to misunderstand your innocence or take advantage of it. And I can't tolerate any strange man listening to you... or even looking at you.)
"Aur Safiya, ek baat yaad rakhna.. tumhara zyada bolna mujhe kabhi bhoj nahi lagta. ", She nodded instantly, almost too quickly, before jumping away from him.
(And Safiya, remember one thing. Your talking never feels like a burden to me.)
" Haan touh chup chap meri baatein man liya karein, mere saath behes na kiya karein. ", She pouted, making him chuckle softly. She watched as his adams reverberated, and couldn't help but want to touch it.
(Then quietly listen to me and don't argue with me.)
" Aap puri ki puri toofan hain, aap ko na pakda gaya touh tabahi aa sakti hain. ", He said, eyes softened with fondness.
(You're a storm, if you're not held, destruction can follow.)
" Heh? Tumhare kehne ka matlab kahi yeh touh nhi ki mein sab kuch bigaad deti hu? ", She pouted, visibly offended.
(What? Do you mean I ruin everything?)
" Meri itni himmat? ", Zaviyar immediately raised both hands in surrendervgiving in to his little wife without a fight.
(Do I have that much courage?)
" But you my lawyer sahiba, need to be tamed. "
Zaviyar murmured deliberately, his hand tightening just enough as he slowly pulled her back toward him.
The distance between them vanished inch by inch until his breath brushed against her ear.
His voice dropped lower, softer, laced with mischief as he whispered the words sending an unwanted shiver straight down her spine.
" Kiski itni himmat? ", Safiya shot back immediately, lifting her chin as she tried to sound unfazed. But the faint tremble in her voice betrayed her resolve, exposing exactly how affected she was despite her defiance.
( Who has the courage to do that?)
" Aapke shohar ki... ", He replied with a slow, confident smile, one that carried far too much assurance for her liking. The ease in his tone made her heart flutter traitorously
(Your husband does.)
" Me-mein saree change karke aati hu. ", Safiya stammered, suddenly remembering the most important task at hand. She turned on her heel, ready to escape only for him to stop her once more, his voice following her before she could take another step.
(I-I'll go change my saree and come back.)
" Jaldi aana biwi, tumse yuu bichar na hume pasand nhi hain. ", His words were smooth, teasing, almost indulgent, as if parting from her even for a few minutes was an inconvenience.
(Come back quickly, wife. We don't like being separated from you like this.)
Safiya paused only long enough to shoot him a very unladylike middle finger over her shoulder before disappearing into the bathroom. Zaviyar burst into laughter, shaking his head fondly before leaning back against the comforter, utterly unbothered and far too entertained.
______________________________________
Safiya suddenly shot up at the ting of the alarm clock, the sharp sound cutting through the heavy silence of the room. Her heart skipped for a moment before routine kicked in.
" Medicine ka time hogaya. ", she said, already moving closer to him with practiced urgency. She popped out one pill each from the two medicine strips, the faint plastic sound echoing in the quiet, before filling the glass with water.
(It's time for your medicine.)
She extended her hand to wake him up but froze midway, fingers hovering in the air. There was a strange hesitation in her chest, an invisible boundary she still hadn't learned how to cross. Unsure whether to touch him or not, she pulled her hand back slightly.
" Zaviyar.... zaviyarrr- ", she called softly at first, then a little louder but he remained in a deep slumber, completely unaware of her presence.Her patience finally gave way to concern.
" Oye utho medicine bhi lena hain tumhe... ", she said, finally shaking his shoulder, not too gently this time. Zaviyar stirred, his brows knitting as he slowly blinked his eyes open. For a brief second, he looked disoriented, then his gaze settled on her face, sharp even in sleep.
(Oii, wake up, you have to take your medicine too.)
" Medicine... ", she said again, forwarding her palm towards him, pills resting there like a command rather than a request. Her eyes were stern, leaving no room for argument.
" Nhi khaani ", he mumbled stubbornly before turning his head away, as if the medicine itself had personally offended him.
(I don't want to take it.)
Safiya blinked, unsure whether she'd heard him right. She stared at him for a second, processing his childish refusal, then narrowed her eyes.
" Kyu? Tumhe ab kyu mood swings ho rahe hain. Periods peh ho kya.. ", she quipped, one eyebrow arching dangerously as she placed the glass down and clenched the tablet between her fingers.
(Why? Why are you having mood swings now? Are you on your periods or what?)
" Mein ek mard hu... ", he snapped back, head still turned away, behaving as if even looking at her might infect him with something incurable.
(I am a man...)
" Uska mein kuch nhi kar sakti, uski complain tumhe apne parents se karni paregi, Zaviyar. ", Safiya shot back instantly, then broke into a small giggle. A reel she'd seen earlier flashed in her mind, Maya Sarabhai's sass clearly influencing her tone more than she'd like to admit.
(I can't do anything about it, Zaviyar. You will have to complain about it to your parents. )
" Faltu behes mat karo Safiya, Mera sar fataah jaa rha hain. ", he waved his hand in front of her dismissively, trying to shoo her away. Instead of backing off, her frown only deepened.
(Don't argue unnecessarily, Safiya. My head is splitting.)
" Chup chap medicine Khao, varna tumhara sar hakeekat mein fath jayega. "
(Eat the medicine quietly, or your head will actually burst)
" I'm serious, mujhe zabardasti bhi khilana aata hai. ", she warned, gripping his wrist firmly before placing the medicine in his hand, her tone daring him to test her patience.
(I'm serious, I know how to force-feed too.)
" Himmat hain? Mujhe haath lagane ki? Tum touh mujhe chhune se bhi darti ho. ", he challenged, his words slurred yet sharp, eyes finally turning toward her as if provoking her on purpose.
(Do you even have the courage? To touch me? You're scared to even lay a hand on me)
She watched him as his gaze met hers, his face fully turning now.
It would be a blatant lie if Safiya said she didn't find his all-business look ridiculously hot.
He looked like the kind of man who could walk straight into a Calvin Klein campaign without trying.
Lose the kurta, and boom instant eye candy.
She exhaled deeply, mentally scolding herself. This was not the time to ovulate over a man who looked like he'd descended straight from Greek mythology.
" Himmat hain aur irada bhi... ", she replied, hands on her hips as she bent slightly forward, willingly accepting his challenge.
( I have the courage and the intention too.)
" Mene kha na nhi khaa- ", his protest died in his throat when she suddenly placed her index finger on his lips, silencing him instantly.
(I said I won't eat-)
" Bas... Khao ", She pushed the tablet past his lips without hesitation. Zaviyar had no choice but to comply, especially when her fingers brushed against his lips in the most dangerously sensual way, something she remained completely unaware of.
(Enough... Eat)
He couldn't help noticing how unbearably cute she looked in her strawberry-patterned night suit. Cute enough to make him want to pull her closer, kiss her until her lips matched those strawberries.
'Damn, I bet she even tastes like that.'
( Haina cute ?? hehehhe )
He knew he was acting like a hormonal teenager but around her, self-control came at a price. Desire always followed and so did frustration because the last thing he wanted was to make her uncomfortable.
" Mujhe na tumhare mood swings samajh mein nhi aatein... ", Safiya muttered, holding his jaw gently while bringing the glass to his lips. He drank obediently, eyes fixed anywhere but on her.
( I seriously don't understand your mood swings...)
" Mein bas apne aap se gussa hu ki meri harkato ki vajah aaj tum bhi mujhse darti ho, kahi na kahi nafrat bhi karti hogi.
Mein nhi chahta ki tum meri care karo, kyuki mein yeh sab deserve nhi karta, mein tumhe deserve nhi karta Safiya.
", His words spilled out heavy with guilt as he looked away from her eyes.
.. eyes that held nothing but care. In that moment, he felt like the biggest douchebag alive.
(I'm angry at myself because of my actions, you're scared of me now. Maybe you even hate me somewhere. I don't want you to take care of me because I don't deserve it. I don't deserve you, Safiya.)
" Tumhari shaadi kisi modern ladke se honi chahiye thi yaar.
Jese ki tumhara woh dost... Kya naam hain uska.
.. Haan woh Aahan. Mujh jese gaon ke ladke ke saath nhi jouh nahi tumhari pasand hain nahi tumhe ek behtar life de paa raha hain.
", Safiya stared at him, stunned. His words felt like a confession, one where the accused willingly declared himself guilty, drowning in regret and self-loathing.
(You should've married some modern guy... like your friend. what was his name? Aahan. Not a village guy like me, who isn't your choice and can't give you a better life.)
" Aaj ka hee din lelo. Tumhe mere saath rehne ke liye yeh sab jhelna par rha hain. Yeh niyam, yeh usul. Tum ek achchi life deserve karti ho, jha tum apni life apne hisaab se jee sako. "
(Just look at today. You have to endure all this just to live with me. These rules, these principles. You deserve a good life where you can live on your own terms.)
" Agar mujhe tumhare saath nhi rehna hota touh mein kabka chhorkar chali Jaati. ", Safiya finally said, sitting beside him on the edge of the bed, her voice firm yet calm.
( If I didn't want to live with you, I would've left long ago.)
" Tum yaha apne maa baap ke dabav ki vajah se reh rahi ho. Tumhe uss har cheez ka saamna karna hoga, jouh shayad tumhe pasand bhi na ho. Mere saath rehne ka matlab hain sabki nazar purey samay tumhari taraf hogi."
He continued arguing, as if proving to himself that he was the worst possible choice for her. Somewhere in his logic, she did agree but life wasn't built only on preferences. And Safiya understood that long ago.
( You're here because of your parents' pressure. You'll have to face things you may not even like. Being with me means everyone's eyes will always be on you.")
" Touh tum mujhe un aakhon se chhupa lena . ", she said softly, placing her hand over his outstretched one, her touch tentative yet sincere. Her fingers curled around his like a silent promise.
(Then you hide me from those eyes)
" Jese tumne Aaj mujhe bachaya. ", Her words weren't loud, but they landed heavily, wrapping around his heart in a way he hadn't expected.
(Just like you protected me today)
" Mein jhut nhi bolungi Zaviyar, meri life shaadi ke baad puri badal gayi.
And mujhe bohot kuch pasand nhi hain, tumhara gussa, tuhare tantrums..
. lekin iska matlab yeh nhi ki mujhe tumse nafrat hain.
", Zaviyar squinted his eyes, confusion clouding his expression as he tried to decipher whether she was blaming him or simply stating facts.
He knew he was the problem. But hearing it directly from her made his shoulders slump, guilt weighing him down like a silent verdict.
(I won't lie, Zaviyar. My life completely changed after marriage. And there are many things I don't like your anger, your tantrums... but that doesn't mean I hate you.")
" Lekin mein ateet mein huyi kuch baatein shayad kabhi na bhula pau. ", she said, her gaze drifting away as she stared into nothingness, memories pulling her back against her will.
(But there are some things from the past that I may never be able to forget.)
" Mein samajhta hu. ", The simplicity of his response carried more weight than long explanations ever could.
(I understand.)
" Is there any way I can earn your forgiveness and maybe you can let me into your heart. ", he asked, desperation bleeding through his carefully controlled tone. He was exhausted, tired of pretending that the emotional distance between them didn't hurt him.
He hated staying away from her, hated maintaining a distance from his own wife. A distance so vast that she was still afraid to be close to him, to trust him completely.
" Boyfriend banoge? ", Safiya watched his expression morph instantly into pure horror, as if she'd physically assaulted him.
(Will you be my boyfriend?)
" Astagfirullah, yeh sab-", he let out a thundered scream that sounded dangerously close to a dying rat.
Yes. She forgot thG her husband was painfully old-school.
" Abeh oi akal se paidal aadmi... ", she flicked his forehead lightly, but instead of retreating, she scooted closer and began fixing the stray strands of hair falling over his forehead, her movements instinctive and intimate.
(You absolute brainless man...)
" Boyfriend as in Boy-Friend. Not that kinda boyfriend. Aur boyfriend rakhna koi badi baat nhi hain... ", she clarified, slightly offended at his reaction.
(Boyfriend as in Boy-Friend. Not that kind of boyfriend. And having a boyfriend isn't some huge crime...)
" Hamare yaha yeh gunaah maana jaata hai. ", he replied with what he thought was a pout. Safiya chose to believe it was because in her head, it made him look embarrassingly cute.
(Here, it's considered a sin.)
" Hmm.. ", she hummed, dragging it longer than necessary. Zaviyar, meanwhile, remained blissfully unaware that his wife was mentally sharpening her knives aimed straight at their deeply ingrained patriarchal rules.
" Lekin ek chhoti ladki ki mangni kara dena bina uski marzi jaane woh gunaah nhi hain?
Infact woh touh sawab ka kaam hai nhi? Aur shaadi ke baad apni wife ki respect na karna woh sawab ka kaam hain?
Honestly speaking Zaviyar yeh sab khokhle usul bas life kou ruin karte hain.
", Zaviyar couldn't help but lower his eyes.
Her words struck too close to home, forcing him to confront the hypocrisy in his own beliefs.
(But fixing a young girl's engagement without her consent isn't a sin? In fact, that's considered a good deed, right? And not respecting your wife after marriage that's also a good deed? Honestly, Zaviyar, these hollow principles only ruin lives.)
" Hum bas itna keh rahe- ", he began defensively, but was cut off yet again.
(We're just saying-)
" koun hum? Tum aur koun? Insaano jese baat karo... ", she quipped, poking her index finger into his bicep pointedly.
(Who 'we'? You and who else? Talk like a human being...)
" Mera matlab hain ki mein sirf nikah mein etemaad rakhta hu. ", he said, gently wrapping his hand around her index finger, caging it within his palm.
(I mean, I only believe in nikah.)
" Lekin woh touh bhaag gayi... ", The words slipped out before he could stop them.
(But she ran away...)
" Tum touh nhi bhaagi na. Mujhe uske bhaag jaane koi afsos nhi hua kyuki mera uske saath koi rishta tha hee nhi. ", he said softly, his fingers trailing along the back of her hand.
(But you didn't run away, did you? I didn't regret her leaving because I had no relationship with her in the first place.)
Safiya would be lying if she said she wasn't feeling mildly electrocuted at that moment.
" So you decide to marry a girl but you don't even respect her as your future partner.
", she asked, desperately trying to focus on logic instead of the warmth of his hand.
She silently thanked God she wasn't wearing half sleeves because him seeing the goosebumps rising on her skin would've been mortifying.
" I'm saying that she wasn't connected to me before our nikah.
I didn't want to start a relationship or be so close with someone who was non-permissible to me.
I believe in the concept of building a pure bond after marriage.
", His explanation made sense to her. She nodded slowly, understanding where he came from, even if she didn't fully agree.
" In that case, you will hate me because even before this i had a boyfriend. ", She already knew he was aware of her past but experience had taught her one thing. Hidden truths always explode louder when revealed later.
" And what happened to him? ", Zaviyar asked cautiously.
" Well... He cheated on me with another girl. I caught him having sex with her in his office. ", She shrugged lightly, but watched as the colour drained from his face. He looked like she had kicked him in the balls. Again.
'Yes. Definitely no curse words around him from now on.'
" What? ", After what felt like an entire minute, he finally composed himself.
" Astagfirullah, that's why these kinda relationships are forbidden. ", he muttered, immediately doing tauba.
" You talk like a grandmother. ", she teased, giggling as he frowned harder.
" Mein esa hee hu. ", He frowned, memories surfacing, memories of a boy and girl being hanged for running away and marrying. A punishment ordered by his grandfather. Back then, it felt normal. Now, it felt like a crime he was complicit in.
" Wese mujhe tumhare bolne ka tareeka, mera matlab hain shabd kuch sahi nhi lagte mujhe- ", he said, deliberately trying to steer his thoughts away from those haunting memories.
(By the way, the way you form sentences is a bit weird. ")
" Woh mene ek private academy se padhayi ki thi na.
I told you, remember. So waha hamari english peh zyada focus kiya jaata and somewhere or the other meri urdu aur hindi kharab hogayi.
Abhi touh fir bhi theek hain, mujhe ahaan aur Adira ne sikhayi.
Mostly ahaan. Hum movies jaaya karte the na saath.
", She stated, words tumbling over one another as if she were narrating an old anecdote without realising how deeply it cut.
Zaviyar watched her blabber on about her past life, her expressions animated, her hands moving unconsciously.
Somewhere in that moment, he felt an ache.
an intense desire to see that version of her.
He wanted to see her carefree, bold and untethered.
A Safiya who laughed without restraint and lived without fear.
But his ears perked up sharply at one name.
Ahaan.
(I studied from a private academy, remember? I told you. So there was a lot of focus on English, and somewhere my Urdu and Hindi got bad. It's better now though-Ahaan and Adira taught me. Mostly Ahaan. We used to go for movies together, remember?)
That nangu-pungu (butt-naked) guy who had the audacity to send obscene pictures to his wife. A sickening feeling churned in Zaviyar's gut, something dark and ugly, tinged with jealousy. The realisation that someone else had once been that close to Safiya gnawed at him relentlessly.
" Ahaan. I need to meet this guy soon. ", he said with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.
(Ahaan. I need to meet this guy soon.)
" Kyu? Are you jealous? ", she teased, her lips twitching mischievously, only for him to nod without hesitation.
(Why? Are you jealous?)
" Wait you really are jealous. ", she gasped, genuinely surprised by his serious expression that made no attempt to hide the truth.
" Stop teasing me Safiya... ", he waved her off but the way his jaw tightened gave him away. Unfortunately for him, she wasn't backing down.
" Kya kar loge..", she tilted her head slightly, challenging him openly. Her eyes briefly flicked to his wound before meeting his dark gaze again, unwavering.
(What will you do?)
" Tum jaanna chahti ho? ", he asked, his tone dropping into a sultry lilt that sent a strange flutter through her chest.
(Do you want to know?)
" Ouch...... ", she exclaimed when he suddenly pinched her nose and tugged it lightly before letting go, completely unbothered by her dramatics.
" Sadu Nawab... ", she muttered, rubbing her nose.
He only laughed in response, ruffling her hair affectionately.
In that moment, he looked so carefree, so unburdened that she found herself mesmerised by him.
Safiya smiled as she watched him laugh, his molars showing.
It made her laugh too. And then, out of nowhere, a memory struck her.
(Grumpy Nawab...)
Her eyes fluttered shut.
A boy was laughing heartily while flicking her nose. A much younger boy. Then a woman appeared from behind, lifting him up and pressing a kiss to his cheek. Their laughter blended together, warm and familiar. The woman then extended her hand toward her.
Safiya's eyes snapped open.
Zaviyar was staring at her curiously, concern etched across his face.
The memory remained blurry, the faces indistinct, like a half-forgotten dream.
Before she could dwell on it further, her phone rang.
A client. She excused herself to take the call but the flashback lingered stubbornly at the back of her mind.
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