12. Chapter 11
Chapter 11
Elena
T he elevator doors open on the foyer to the Captain’s Table. How much has changed since I left this elevator only a few hours ago? As Alex leads me back through the entrance, I feel self-conscious about my casual attire. The fitted jeans and cozy sweater that felt perfect for a quiet evening in my cabin now seem woefully out of place amidst the opulent decor and well-dressed diners.
Alex talks with the hostess before she nods and escorts us to a table where two other couples are already seated. Alex strides confidently through the restaurant, unaffected by the fact that he’s missing his suit jacket. His shoulders are squared, his chin held high. I admire how he commands the room, even in his disheveled state. Even as we are seated at the table, he doesn’t seem surprised that we were seated with other guests.
But as we approach our table, doubts creep in further. I notice the curious glances and raised eyebrows directed our way. The whispers seem to follow us, and I can almost hear the unspoken questions: Who is this woman with Alexander Kostan? Why is she so underdressed?
I try to ignore the stares and focus on Alex, but the discomfort persists. Can I really fit into his world of wealth and privilege? Am I fooling myself by thinking that a Polar Bear shifter park ranger from a remote Alaskan village could ever belong in the same circles as a billionaire CEO?
As we take our seats, I can’t shake the sense of unease that settles over me. The menu in front of me might as well be written in a foreign language, and I’m out of place.
Alex takes my hand, his touch warm and reassuring. “Elena,” he says, his eyes searching mine. “What’s wrong?”
I hesitate. Sure that if I say the words, the whole room will hear them. That would this situation worse. But I meet his gaze.
“I just... I don’t know if I belong here, Alex,” I confess, my voice barely above a whisper. “In this world of yours. I mean, look at me. I’m not exactly dressed for the occasion.”
Alex’s gaze sweeps across the table, taking in the elegant attire of the other diners as if seeing it for the first time. His brow furrows, and he turns back to me with a rueful smile.
“You know, I didn’t even notice how everyone else was dressed,” he admits, his thumb rubbing gentle circles on the back of my hand. “I’ve never really cared for all the pretense that comes with money. Sure, it gives me influence, but it also attracts people who only care about what I can do for them, not who I am.”
He pauses, his eyes locking with mine. “But you and I, we deserve the best dinner on this ship. We’re celebrating being together again, and that’s what matters.” His fingers tighten around mine with sincerity in his touch. “The truth is, Elena, this isn’t really me either. I’ve been playing the role that society expects of me because of my success. But it’s not who I am at my core.”
I nod, understanding dawning. “So, who is the real Alexander Kostan?” I ask softly, leaning in closer.
A genuine smile spreads across his face. “The real Alex Kostan is the one who took everything he learned about the wilderness to create a company to save it. He’d rather spend a night under the stars with you than at some fancy gala.”
My heart swells at his words. I squeeze his hand as the weight of my doubts lift.
Then the laughter at the table breaks through the bubble we’ve built around us, and I really pay attention to the others for the first time. One of the ladies catches my eye and asks, “Where did you two meet?” Her genuine interest surprises me. It’s as though she understood my discomfort and was giving me the time to relax before drawing me into the conversation.
“Well, we met a while ago, in our hometown. And then we lost touch for a little longer. But I always carried a torch for him, you know?”
I look over at Alex to see how he will respond to my public declaration. He nods, “Same here. She was always the one who got away.” His eyes meet mine with so much honest emotion, that I almost feel stripped bare in the middle a crowd. “Until she wasn’t.”
I smile. “We… reunited, I guess you could say, here.”
“You’re shitting me. Like, on the boat?” The woman says.
It dawns on me that I don’t even know her name, and I can’t think of a way to ask Alex while all of the attention is focused on me. “Seriously.” I reply. “We’ve been getting to know each other as the people we are now.”
“Forgive me if I make things overbearingly awkward,” the woman says. “But that’s quite possibly the cutest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”
“And you guys?” I ask. “Where’d you meet?”
“At a bed and breakfast, actually,” the woman smiles at the man next to her. “We got stuck in the same room together. Got to know each other pretty well, pretty fast, I’d say.”
“You just got locked in together? And didn’t want to kill each other at the end of it all?” I ask.
“Let’s just say it was a… magical experience. We didn’t have much time for hating. But love is a lot easier to foster.” The woman continues smiling and looking at the man beside her like she only has eyes for him.
“You two share a similar…” she pauses as though looking for the right word, “lifestyle to Ryker’s. He’s too shy to ask himself but has been dying with curiosity. What…” another pause as she looks around the table to see if anyone is paying us specific attention, “is your spirit animal?”
Alex laughs nervously causing a blush to rise on my cheeks. “Elena and I identify with bears.”
“Interesting.” The man sitting next to her murmurs.
“You both identify with bears? I mean him I get,” she points a subtle finger at Alex. “But you?” She looks at me closely.
“It’s my spirit.” I say simply as my bear comes very close to the surface. I’m used to this. With my coloring, I probably should have recognized that I wasn’t a Kodiak Bear when I was young, but when I shift my Polar Bear is more than twice my size.
I lose track of the conversation at the memory conjured at the thought of that first shift where I realized how different I was. Alex must notice the shift in my mood. He signals the server, and I lose track of the flow of the conversation. The server appears at our table. “Bring us the chef’s special and a bottle of your best wine. We’re celebrating.” Alex indicates the two of us. The others at the table put in their orders.
“Of course, Mr. Kostan,” The server nods as he hurries away.
Alex bristles and then looks resigned. I lean close, “It’s like that everywhere. Everyone knows your name but don’t really know you?”
Alex nods. “For a while, it didn’t bother me. I mean, I grew up in a Pack. I’m used to everyone recognizing me, and calling me by my name. Gregor insisted on it. But out here, away from the Pack, I realized the people sidling up to me weren’t looking out for me the way a Pack does.”
“You’ve clearly missed the Pack. Why didn’t you go back?”
“Because you weren’t there. It’s not my Pack without you.”
“But you didn’t come looking for me, either. With those resources. I wouldn’t have been that hard to find…”
Alex’s gaze drops to our joined hands, his thumb still tracing patterns on my skin. The silence stretches between us, heavy with the weight of unspoken emotions. “I convinced myself that Gregor was right,” he admits, his voice low and tinged with regret. “That you belonged with the Polar Bears. I thought... I thought if I looked you up and saw that you were happy with them, it would hurt more than I could bear.”
His words hang in the air, a confession of the pain he’s carried all these years. The same pain that I’ve felt, the ache of a bond severed too soon. I lean forward, catching his eye. “And now?” I ask, my heart in my throat. “Now that you know I wasn’t with the Polar Bears?”
Alex’s eyes meet mine, a flicker of hope and a spark of the connection we once shared. “Now... now I know I was a fool to let you go,” he says, his voice rough with emotion. “I should have fought for you, Elena. I should have gone after you the moment you left.”
“But you didn’t,” I whisper, the words escaping before I can stop them.
“No, I didn’t,” he agrees, his gaze never wavering from mine. “And I’ve regretted it every day since. But I’m here now, Elena. And I’ve already said I won’t make the same mistake twice.”
I feel the blush in my cheeks. “Alex, I...” I start, but my voice falters. What can I say? That I’ve missed him every day? That I’ve never stopped loving him, even when I thought I’d never see him again?
Before I find the words, the server returns with our wine and the chef’s special. The moment is broken, but the intensity of Alex’s gaze tells me that this conversation is far from over.
As the server pours the deep red wine into our glasses, he begins describing the chef’s special in an animated tone. “Tonight, we have a grilled Alaskan salmon, caught fresh from the icy waters off the coast. It’s served with roasted fingerling potatoes and a delicate salad featuring succulent Alaskan crab meat. The chef personally selected these ingredients to showcase the best of Alaska’s seafood.”
As the server finishes his description and leaves us to enjoy our meal, Alex raises his glass. “To new beginnings,” he toasts, his eyes locked on mine.
I lift my glass, the rich aroma of the wine filling my senses. “To second chances,” I reply, my voice soft but filled with meaning.
We clink our glasses together, the sound ringing out like a promise. As we sip the wine, I marvel at the turn of events that brought us here, sharing a meal and a future that suddenly seems full of possibility.
Alex smiles, setting down his glass, “I’ve always loved salmon. But now I think it’s my favorite meal.”
I tilt my head, curious. “Why’s that?”
“Because it will always remind me of this moment. With you.”
A blush creeps up my cheeks at his words. “Alex...”
“It’s true,” he insists, reaching across the table to take my hand. “You’ve always been the most amazing woman I’ve ever known, Elena. And being here with you, it feels... right.”
I nod, my throat tight with emotion. “It does,” I agree. “Like everything led us to this moment.”
As I look out the window, the Alaskan coastline comes into view, the silhouettes of the trees standing tall against the moonlit sky. It’s a sight I’ve seen countless times, but tonight, it’s different. Tonight, there’s a promise of something new, a glimpse of a future I never dared to dream of.
But as I focus on the reflection in the glass, my heart stops. There, in the background, stands Cassandra in her crisp cruise ship uniform. Her presence is like a stark reminder that the path ahead has obstacles.
I turn to Alex, my hand still clasped in his. “Alex,” I say as I nod toward the reflection.
He follows my gaze to the reflection, his brow furrowing. Alex’s grip on my hand tightens, offering reassurance and maybe something more. “We’ll figure it out,” he promises, his voice low and steady. “Together.”
Saving the Archipelago Pack, finding our place in this world that seems determined to keep us apart... it’s a daunting task, one that I’m not sure I’m ready for. But as I look into Alex’s eyes, I see a reflection of my own determination, my own strength. “Together,” I echo, my voice a whisper. “No matter what.”
And with that, I turn back to the window, my gaze fixed on the coastline that holds the key to our future.