Vulfu: The Primal Series

Chapter 9

You’d think that since I had been a model student, that I wouldn’t just throw caution to the wind, but Vulfu had unlocked something in me that I’d always wanted. Confidence. The way he looked at me, how it felt when his hands traced over the lines of my body, how he left me little gifts like my favourite berries and bundles of flowers he’d place on my fur pillow, or how he attached little acorns to each one of my dresses like it was some symbol of belonging to him, it was a feeling I’d never known before. Someone wanting me. Someone loving every part of me as it was. I’d never known what that was like. My past had been full of falsehood and pain. But with him, it was full of longing and promise.

As such, whenever Vulfu wanted to, we fucked like wild animals. And it was constant. I moved around with a constant ache between my thighs, but despite that, I wanted more. More of him. All the time.

He was like a drug. All he had to do was give me that same, cocky grin, with his beautiful narrowed bright eyes, and I knew exactly what he wanted to do. In response, I eagerly responded with a knowing smile, and we’d disappear for a couple of hours.

This had gone on for about three days, where we spent about 90% of our day fucking each other silly, running off to our sleeping quarters while the others in the family simply smirked or rolled their eyes, knowing exactly what was going on. Though it made me blush to think that they were so aware of what was happening, the fact that I couldn’t understand what they said about it helped.

But on the fourth day, I needed to get outside. Not to mention the furs we slept on were starting to smell like sweat and sex. The moment I woke up and felt his wandering hands, I slapped his fingers away, insisting we go out and clean and socialize for a bit. I repeated, whaap, over and over, knowing it was their word for water, and made a motion with my hands, hoping he knew I meant the creek, and not an animal stomach they used.

Begrudgingly, with serious reluctance and glowering in my direction, Vulfu agreed. I gathered up our things and wordlessly, he scooped me up into his arms and carried me outside to join the others. The sun hit me hard, and I had to shut my eyes against the glare seeping through the leaves overhead. After three days spent in semi-darkness, it took a minute or two to adjust.

I could hear the sound of the creek off to the side, the rustle of the leaves in the wind, and the fresh smell of the mountain forest and flowers. The sun was warm as it hit my skin, shining through the blurred leaves overhead, and as I squinted down into the clearing, trying in vain to make out my surroundings, I could hear Kray and Dow whooping enthusiastically, like they were cheering Vulfu’s and my presence.

Oh God…

I blushed hard and buried my face against the muscle of Vulfu’s shoulder as he snarled at the boys before he carefully climbed down the side of the boulder, landing with a soft thud on the ground. The boys continued to tease playfully, but their fearless leader decided that ignoring them was best. Like children, they obviously were craving a reaction from him, so I took a note out of his book and did my best to squash my insecurity. They didn’t mean to actually make me uncomfortable… it was just how Kray and Dow were. Practical jokers.

Vulfu lay me down amongst the soft mosses by the creek, close to Mowha, Krahu, and Veshy, all of whom greeted me by coming over to give me gentle little head bumps. But the moment my adoptive mother could get a better look at me, her dark eyes moving from the top of my head all the way down to my toes and back again, she frowned in disapproval and glared at Vulfu.

A flurry of words and growls followed, with her gesturing at me and swiping at the air in his direction. Meanwhile he, sitting on top of the little incline above the creek so he could keep watch on everyone, simply cast her a wicked grin in return, one I recognized even from a distance and with crappy vision. I knew it well. Mowha took my wrist and held it up high, gesturing at the little marks, the bruises I’d obtained from three days of passionate lovemaking. I cringed a little. If only she could see the bruised handprints I had underneath my animal skin. I think she’d black out in her rage.

Whatever she was saying to him, he seemed completely unbothered by it, as he just shrugged and looked away, always scanning the trees for a sign of danger.

Shaking her head and grumbling to herself, Mowha helped me unfold all the furs I’d brought out and together, she, Veshy, and I began to wash them, while Krahu wandered nearby with a clay looking bowl, gathering a few freshly ripened berries from the bushes nearby.

The sun was warm on my back, but having my arms almost completely immersed in the cool creek helped. It was nice being outside again, however, every once in a while, my mind would wander and I’d think about how Vulfu would grab me, how he’d stare deep into my eyes as he fucked me sensually, like he wanted to see every reaction I had to what he was doing to my body. Whenever I blushed at the thought, Mowha would click her tongue, like she knew exactly where my mind had wandered to, but to her credit, she didn’t scold me as she had him.

When we found a sunny spot nearby for everything to dry, I managed to sit back and relax as Krahu brought over a bunch of berries and nuts for the four of us to share. Vulfu and Dahkha had begun to make rounds around the perimeter of our home, disappearing briefly into the trees and thick underbrush of the forest, patrolling as the rest of the family rested.

I felt a sharp tap on the back of my head and looked over my shoulder to see Kray crouched there, grinning as he waited, like I was supposed to be doing something.

“What?” I asked him, a handful of my favourite raspberries cupped in my palm about halfway to my mouth as I waited. “Wahoe?”

Dow suddenly appeared out of nowhere, snatching my food from my hands and ran off, guffawing gleefully as his friend followed, both looking immensely proud of themselves as they shared the snack I had been about to eat. I rolled my eyes at the pair, knowing that they weren’t really hungry. They just wanted to play a prank and were proud they’d pulled it off. Rolling my eyes and shaking my head, I turned back to the women and stretched out on the soft moss, the sun warm on my skin.

It was so… peaceful here. So unlike the city in every way. I didn’t like crowds of people and going to school, to the grocery store, anywhere really, was always busy and loud. But in the woods, I could lie back with my eyes closed, not worrying about being bumped by a stranger, or having to make small talk. I could listen to the creek, the birds singing overhead, and just let myself be. It was partly why I joined the hiking club in the first place, that and because I was trying to come out of my shell.

Nearby, I could hear Kray and Dow playing some game together, their voices were familiar and comforting. As was Veshy, Mowha, and Krahu’s. It was tranquil, and I felt so content that as I let my arms fall back above my head against the moss so I could stretch out a little bit more, I couldn’t help but smile in contentment.

However…

Everything changed the moment I had.

From the other side of the creek, there came a sudden crash through the underbrush, the leafy bushes snapping and flying apart as a figure suddenly came barreling out toward us. My eyes snapped open in alarm, my heart hammering in fear in my chest while the others around me spun around to search for the intrusion.

The figure I would know anywhere. His tanned skin, dark hair, even blurred from a distance I knew who it was. Vulfu ran at our peaceful little circle from across the creek, sending a spray of water everywhere as he charged over. At first I wondered if he was angry with us; me or with one of the women. Or perhaps he’d seen Kray and Dow do something he hadn’t liked. As he stormed closer, his features became more discernible, and I recognized that heated stare of his, which just so happened to be locked right on me.

What had I done?

Horrified that I’d somehow offended him, I sat up, ready to dodge a potential swat from him.

The others, now catching on to the fact that I was the one in trouble, scattered, leaving me on my own. Even my usually protective, adoptive mother ran away, leaving me to fend for myself. Terrified, I cast one quick look at Vulfu, who was still running through the water, the droplets that flew through the air shining in the sun like diamonds, his focus wholly on me, and I rolled over, clambering to my hands and knees. I was about to get up to run for it, deciding that if I could at least be agile enough to get out of his reach somehow, I’d avoid the swats he gave the others when he felt like they were disobedient. Kray and Dow usually lost him when they climbed up the trees. I don’t know if I could reach the heights they did, but I’d certainly give it a try.

But Vulfu was so quick that before I could even rise to my feet, he snagged the back of my deerskin dress and lifted me off the ground.

I let out a surprised and fearful cry as the moss disappeared beneath my fingertips and legs, while Vulfu spun around, growling at the others, like he needed space for whatever it was he was about to do to me. Seriously, what had I done? I was literally just lying there, stretching in the sun. Desperately, I searched for my adoptive mother, but she had moved back with the others, looking unbothered now that Vulfu had claimed his intended target, and simply settled a little further downstream with the rest. The two boys had run off, apparently to play in the treetops judging by the sounds of their calls and laughter from above, and in the distance, I could make out Dahkha’s blurred figure roaming around the perimeter, taking over as our watchful guardian while our leader punished me for… well, whatever I’d done wrong.

“Vulfu!” I cried, reaching back in an attempt to grab him, “Let me go!”

He prowled up the incline, ignoring my pleas as he carried me with ease with one hand. The guy was seriously strong. Like, it was kinda scary how strong he was. He’d proven that time and time again. And now, I was in for it.

“Look, whatever I did, I-I…” I stammered, trying desperately to think of what I could possibly have done to piss this terrifying guy off. The man I’d been having passionate and vigorous love making sessions with was gone, and instead, I was facing off with the leader of a completely wild pack of people who could kill someone with his bare hands. To say I was terrified was an understatement. “Whatever I did, I’m sorry! I’m sorry, okay? Wahoe? Wahoe!”

I knew that wahoe meant a few things, usually in question. Like a substitute for what? What’s wrong? What’s that? So, I hoped that by me saying it, he’d realize I had no idea what I’d done. They had no word for making apologies, so I couldn’t even appeal to him that way. I just kept squirming in his tight grip, repeating one of the few words I’d learnt over and over again.

He made it to the top of the incline with ease, despite my struggling, and shocked me by giving my ass a sharp swat. It didn’t hurt, but it definitely caught me off guard long enough to go still in his hold and peer up at him over my shoulder in shock. He was watching me with an expression I hadn’t anticipated. Instead of anger, or strict discipline, he had that secretive grin that looked so mischievous and confident. Was he being cheeky?

“Did you just spank me?!” I practically shrieked.

Vulfu’s gaze heated at my proclamation, like he enjoyed seeing me appear indignant. A few weeks ago, the old me would start crying and would continue to plead, or shrink in on herself, hoping to disappear. But Stevvy now… well, I met his cocky smirk with a glare and mustered as much dignity as I could given the fact I was still suspended in the air by his hand, staring at him straight-on. What now, Mr. Grumpy?

Noticing the change in my attitude, my defiance rising, his smile only broadened, and he knelt on the grassy knoll like he was ready to engage now. Good. He scared me and everyone else half to death when he’d come tearing out of the woods like a bat out of hell. He owed me an answer.

But instead, he settled me before him, back onto my hands and knees, and gave me another sharp slap on my behind over my dress.

I let out a squawk of protest and tried turning to yell at him, but the man simply pressed a hand to the middle of my back and forced me down to the soft ground, my ass still up in the air on my knees.

Whoa, what? What the hell?

Before I could question his intentions, one of his rough, calloused hands slid up the inside of my thigh, the touch so light it almost tickled, before he smoothly slid his fingertips beneath the short fold of my deerskin, right between my pussy lips.

WHOA, NOW!

We were in full freaking view of the rest of the family, practically on stage for all to see on this little incline! As my cheeks flushed with embarrassment, I automatically tried crawling away, but Vulfu wouldn’t allow that. The hand pressing into my back grasped my shoulder, sliding around the front of my throat, forcing me to still lest I choke myself, and continued to gently caress my pussy, sliding his fingers around, teasing my clit, uncaring that we were fully on display.

“Nuh uh! Not here!” I cried, my moment of bravery now crumbling away fast when I realized what this had all been about. Evidently, my stretching in the sun had been what set him off. To think that I had such power over a man to turn him on with a simple move was empowering to say the least, but I wasn’t down for public… well, as public as can be in the woods, indecency. “It’s not happening, Vulfu! No!”

Vulfu rumbled from deep in his chest, his version of laughing, and easily held me in place as his fingers continued their exploration. When he moved back up to my clit again, this time pressing against it as he swirled his thumb around, I couldn’t help but close my eyes at the sensation.

“Vulfu… no…” I whispered, still panicked that we were in full display of everyone else.

“Vulfu… Nnnnoooo,” he murmured, leaning over me so that his lips brushed the shell of my ear.

“That’s right,” my voice was hushed as he swirled and pressed again, two of his fingers now sliding deep within me, rubbing against my inner walls. “No. Not here.”

“Nnnnoooo,” he growled, his breath fanning against my skin. “Nuuuuh hhhherrrr.”

“That’s right,” I gasped a little when he began to move his hand with more fervor, his thumb toying with me in the way he discovered I liked, a way he’d abused heavily over the past few days to get me into the mood when I felt too tired. “Not here.”

“Nuuuuh hhhherrrr,” he rumbled again, and reared back onto his knees, his hand squeezing around my throat in that possessive, controlling way of his. Then, with sudden quickness, his hand began to rapidly thrust his fingers deep inside, rubbing, the onslaught catching me off-guard, and the wet sound further embarrassing me. But the rushing sensation overpowered all else, and all I could do was strain against his hold, grip handfuls of grass, and squeeze my eyes shut as he forced an orgasm from me. Demanded it. I tensed around him, trying to catch my breath, trying to ignore the fact we weren’t hidden away from the others…

“Stevvy!” he snarled suddenly, and he squeezed my throat a little harder, giving me a little shake. The moment he did, I felt my entire body squeeze and holy hell… that release shocked my system as I began to shake.

It was what he was waiting for, evidently, because he let go and withdrew his hand, leaving me bereft for only a moment, before he whipped my skirt up, exposing my ass to everyone and everything around us, gripped my hips, and thrust hard. I gasped at the sudden, sharp intrusion and tried pulling away, my body still wracking from the orgasm I’d just had, but he held me in place, pulling my hips toward himself as he moved with quick, hard thrusts. The sound of our bodies smacking together echoed throughout the clearing, and I knew everyone would hear it.

As though sensing my apprehension about this, he gave my ass another sharp slap, to which I snarled in return, muttering, “Stop spanking me!” all while greedily meeting each one of his thrusts.

“Stevvy jugra Vulfu. Vulfu shvuoy. Vulfu khuhgwo,” he panted.

Stephanie belongs to Vulfu. Vulfu strong. Vulfu protect.

“Vulfu aghaal!”

Aghaal… that was a word I’d only heard in passing from the others, always in reference to him. I got the sense it was a title, a word meaning respect to, and as Vulfu was the head of their family, I could only assume it meant leader, chief, ruler. If that was the case, then yes. Absolutely. Vulfu was a leader.

And he made me his. Which meant…

If I dumbed this down, I was meant to do as he wanted. And right now, what our fearless leader wanted was to fuck his girl in the middle of the clearing for all to see.

Smack! Smack! Smack!

What truly bewildered me about this realization, was how secretly, I was freaking turned on from it. Knowing that this man, this glorious, beautiful, strong leader of the woods wanted me, wanted to fuck me before all others, was actually sort of getting me off! My humiliation was ebbing away, replaced with something else. A high of sorts. A thrilling rise that had me grinning as I stretched like a cat before him. Soon, like all other times that I'd been entangled with Vulfu, the rest of the world faded away until it was just him and I.

“Stevvy…” he moaned, my name rolling off his tongue with a growl from deep in his chest.

“Vulfu…” I sighed, closing my eyes as he grunted hard behind me.

The sound of our bodies together, his deep, masculine grunting, all of it had my head spinning as that surge began to rise and strengthen, pulsing faster and hotter than before. Closing my eyes, I let my head fall back as his arms wrapped beneath my belly, pulling me up off the ground just a bit, the added pressure against my middle adding to the intensifying feeling I was craving.

“Oh fuck,” I gasped, my fingers gripping handfuls of grass as the pumping motion of his hips quickened, each stroke of his cock hitting harder and faster. “Yessss… fuck me, Vulfu!”

A deep growl rumbled from his chest in approval at the breathy way I demanded for more, and for a brief moment, he leaned over my back to bite my shoulder, not hard enough to break skin, but enough to bruise for sure. Mowha was gonna have a fit later.

“Stevvy… vvvvvvuck!” he hissed, trying to mimic my words.

Smack! Smack! Smack!

“Yes, fuck. Fuck me harder, Vulfu! Harder!”

“Vuuuuck! Vuck, Stevvy!” he panted, now jackrabbiting as he straightened, my knees still suspended in the air, his thick muscled arms holding me effortlessly up to his pelvis so he could keep going. Sliding one hand free, he then swatted my ass first on one side, then the other, then back again, each time leaving a sharp sting. I cried out at each one, though the smile on my face was enough to tell anyone who was watching that it hadn’t hurt, not that much. I was enjoying this rougher sex. Something I never thought I’d want.

“Stay still!” Harris grunted as he cornered me in the workshop.

“No, please… please, let me go, Harris,” I sobbed, hands held out in front of me. I’d been wandering the halls, avoiding the circulating crowd of popular girls when a hand reached out of the darkened classroom and viciously yanked me in.

“Stevvy…” Vulfu panted, his voice filled with awe and tenderness, something I wasn’t used to hearing from men.

“Hey, you’re the new school slut, right?” Harris grinned like the devil as he neared my corner, knowing I had nowhere to go. “I just want a turn, is all.”

“I’m not, I-I…” I looked around, hoping that a magical door to safety would somehow appear out of thin air. “Marcus and Pete… they-they…”

“I heard. You fucked Marcus at his place, and then begged Pete to screw you in the science lab. I hear you spread your legs like a whore for them both.”

“No! It wasn’t like that–”

“Fuck this, I’m over it,” Harris lunged then, seizing my wrists and painfully twisted them as he wrenched me away from my corner, whipping us both around and dragged me out of view of the doorway to one of the back workbenches.

“Vuck, Stevvy!” Vulfu moaned and set my knees down, now moving his body to mould perfectly over mine, his stomach to my back, his lips at my ear as he licked my lobe and breathed in the scent of my hair. “Vulfu gwukh… Stevvy mmahch!” I let my head fall to the side to rest against his jaw, eagerly pushing back to meet his thrusts, all while my body began to tremble and shake as I felt my core tighten even more at the closeness we shared.

Harris threw me down over the bench, my hands stopping my face from hitting the hard, dusty floor, but before I could right myself, I felt him viciously tug at my jeans, pulling so hard two of the buttons broke free, getting lost in the wood chips and sawdust.

“Stop, please,” I cried, hoping someone would hear me, “Help! Someone please help!”

Harris cursed under his breath and before I knew it, a musty, old rag was shoved into my mouth before he struck me hard across the back of my head, making me see stars. “Shut the fuck up, you slut!” he hissed before he snagged the waist of my pants down, panties and all, to reveal my naked backside. Seizing both my hands, he held them together high up behind my back so painfully, I cried against my gag.

“Fuck yeah,” Harris was triumphant as he unzipped his pants, the sound of the fumbling of his zipper surprisingly loud in my ears. “You’re going to enjoy this, aren’t you, you dirty whore? You like it like this?”

I shook my head, my protests muffled against the gag, tears streaming down my eyes and falling to the ground, my glasses dangling off my nose at first, before falling with a soft thump into the sawdust, too. He positioned himself between my legs, laughing at the pitiful way I struggled against the painful hold he had me in.

“You’re fucking nothing, isn’t that right, Stephanie?” He chuckled as he positioned himself behind me. “Nothing but a cumbasket. I’ll let the others know if I think you’re worth it.”

“Stevvy Vulfu’s!” he grunted, his lips touching my jawline as his thrusts began to deepen in just the right way that made my toes curl. “Vulfu’s!” Licking my bottom lip, I leaned into every kiss, every tender caress of his roughened hands. Every movement he made had the dark memories fall farther away from me, into a void to be erased. They didn’t matter. Not anymore. Not now that I was here, with him. Vulfu made me feel free all while cradling me close to hide me from the dangers of the world. How he managed to do both was an enigma I didn’t need answered.

I was his.

That was it. His. All the others, all the pain I endured before, the words that hit like punches, the actual punches that shattered my soul, the way I crumbled apart inside, it was in the past. It had nothing to do with now. I didn’t deserve what happened to me back then. But I do deserve this now. To be happy, to be loved. I deserved this!

Rearing back, I reached behind me to cup the back of Vulfu’s head and turned to kiss him deeply, to which he eagerly reciprocated. His tongue languidly massaged against mine, his pace never breaking for a moment. The only reason I stopped was to cry out when my orgasm suddenly snapped, that overwhelming, hot rush seizing my body. I collapsed beneath him, grateful he was still holding my waist up as he continued fucking me for another minute before slamming home with a final hard thrust and stilled. Whenever he came in me, it always sent a second shivery rush through my system that had me smiling. Knowing a part of him would stay, was the second surprising part of sex Vulfu introduced me to.

Apparently, Stephanie Fields was into voyeurism and getting a little down and dirty, after all.

We moved through the forest as silent as cats when stalking their prey. Or at least, the others were silent. I moved more clumsily, trying desperately to mimic their movements and follow in their footsteps. But with my shoddy eyesight, I often stumbled, wincing in pain and frustration when I stepped on a twig with a loud snap. Luckily, we weren’t hunting. We were foraging, so silence wasn’t completely necessary, but I know it was preferred. I couldn’t help but think of that other group that had attacked us that one day, pillaging our stores and stealing most of our necessities. The thought of the pale skinned men always sent a shiver through my body, and I often opted to not think of them. But moments like this, creeping through the trees and bushes, I couldn’t help but squint uselessly around me, praying we weren’t being followed.

I carried two animal skin satchels around my shoulders and walked between Krahu and Mowha, with Dahkha leading the way and both Kray and Dow flanking our sides. At our backs, Vulfu followed, keeping his family in his sights to make sure no one fell behind, all while constantly surveying our surroundings for a threat.

Veshy remained behind, rather insistently, too. At first everyone else objected, and Vulfu even pointed to Dow, like he was offering for him to stay with her as protection, but she vehemently shook her head, saying a lot of words I didn’t know, but I recognized one. Khuhgwo. Protect. And she gestured at Krahu, Mowha and I. She wanted us to have whoever was available as we ventured into the forest to replenish our stores. Finally, Vulfu relented, though he gathered water skins and supplied her with a portion of dried meat, should she get hungry. She bowed her head to his, bumping it lightly while calling him, aghaal, respectfully.

Even though my eyesight was a serious disability out here, I didn’t want to stay behind either. When Vulfu offered for me to stay for company, I got a sense that he actually preferred it if I didn’t come. He kept gesturing to my eyes and would take my arm and pull me over to Veshy, but I refused. I hated being waited on hand and foot. I was feeling like a serious hindrance and wanted to contribute in some way. While I did help clean the furs and skins, or straighten the inside of the home, it just didn’t feel like enough. It felt like the bare minimum and now that Vulfu had made it clear he wanted me to be an official part of his family, I wanted to do more.

Although…

I still hadn’t given up on the prospect of being rescued. I was torn. I felt like I was being pulled in two different directions. One, be rescued and go back to my life. I’d be with my parents again! Have Christmases with the family, birthdays, or even just their usual loving greetings when I got home from school everyday. The life where… where I was a good girl who kept her head down, too scared to connect emotionally to anyone given my past. So sheltered. Too scared to go out and attend parties with others at my school. I’d go back to being the girl that just wanted to get home at the end of the day and hide in my room. Whose parents would only encourage the anti-social behavior, clinging to me as I did to them. Was I happy living that way? Like a scared little kid trapped in a woman’s body?

The second option was to stay here.

Here, where I meant something to someone. I was beautiful, I was strong. But I also felt incredibly vulnerable without the luxury of modern comforts. And not being able to see was a serious discomfort to me. But… Vulfu.

I peered back over my shoulder at him. He moved on all fours like the others, crouched like a great ape, his light, sharp gaze always searching for signs of danger. Always protecting. The sun bounced off his hair, the silvers glinting in the light. He was remarkable. As I thought about what I actually missed back home, like my parents, bubble baths, hot yummy meals, my bed, TV and music… well, the thought of leaving him behind made my heart clench so tight in my chest I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

Shaking my conflicting thoughts away, I resumed the trek, carefully following Mowha along as best I could, though I walked upright, unlike the others.

Finally, after what felt like an age, we stepped free from the trees to a meadow that flanked the river. The river!

Oh my God!

I hadn’t seen that river in weeks and realizing we’d wandered in its direction again brought back that flood of hope I’d had when I first got lost here. Where exactly were we? Had we ventured farther south? Or more north? I didn’t recall seeing this meadow during the kayak trip, so I could only assume it was the latter. I stumbled over to the water, wincing from the fresh cuts on my feet from the hike, and dipped them into the cold current. It wasn’t white water here. It was gentle and easy, far from the chaotic juncture that had completely upended my life. I stared up and down the stream, wondering how far north we were.

Around me, the family had fanned out, staying closer to the treeline than I had, going through the bushes as they searched for food. Right. That was why we came all this way.

Vulfu was watching me closely, his eyes narrowed like he was suspicious of my behavior. Mowha had obviously found me at the riverside. She must have communicated that to him at some point. Maybe he thought I was about to make a break for it? He must have, because next thing I knew, he was heading straight for me at a brisk pace, his brows pulled down angrily over his eyes in that menacing way of his that chilled me. As loving and sweet as he could be, I never forgot what he was capable of. I mean, I did watch this man tear another’s head open.

I stumbled a little as he hurried over and sat on a boulder, quickly bringing up my leg to show him the soles of my feet.

“I hurt myself,” I told him when he closed in on me, overwhelming me with his presence. Just that morning, he’d woken me from a dreamless sleep by eating me out with a frenzy. I’d gasped and automatically went to close my legs, but he pressed them down, spreading them wide as he feasted like I was the most delicious thing he’d ever tasted. And he didn’t stop until I cried out at least three times. Then he fucked me while I lay there, trying to catch my breath and slow my heart. But he wasn’t being a loving partner now. He was being the leader, the head of our family. He was all seriousness and authoritative, and if he didn’t like something one of us was doing, he would make sure to correct us. And right now, I was the one that needed to be corrected.

I thought he’d give me a push or direct me over to the others. But the moment I held up my foot, he stopped and ducked low to closely inspect the fresh grazes on my feet. I still hadn’t toughened up from being here, mostly because the others seemed to like carrying me around everywhere. Even to Kray and Dow I was tiny, and they all treated me like a doll. Vulfu especially. Ever since he claimed me as his over Mowha, he often found excuses to carry me. And whenever he spotted me in the arms of another, he’d find an excuse to come over and steal me away from them. So, the bottom of my feet were super sensitive and prone to gashes and blisters.

Vulfu inspected my feet and very tenderly, he held them in his massive, roughened hands, cradling them as he looked over the fresh wounds. They weren’t bad, but enough that a few were bleeding just a little.

“Stevvy…” he rumbled, sounding both pained at the sight, and frustrated that I’d wandered for so long on them. He raised his sharp, grey-green gaze to me, clearly upset, and directed my feet back into the cold water. “Brahda, Stevvy.”

Bad, broken, not like.

“I don’t like it, either,” I said to him, sucking in a breath as I forced my feet to stay in the chilling water. “But I need to toughen up. Stevvy need to be shvuoy. Strong,” I said to him.

Vulfu made a face, like he disagreed. I knew if he could have it his way, he’d just carry me around for the rest of his days, or at least, for as long as he physically could. But I had no idea when a search team would come back this way, or if they ever would. Until then, I needed to make do.

The search team… again, that squeeze in my chest at the thought of leaving Vulfu. I quickly shook that thought away and reached up with one hand to touch the hollow of his cheek, turning his face back to me. With the bright sun shining behind him, his tanned skin and dark hair, his eyes seemed to glow, and I felt my breath catch.

“Kiss?” I asked, pointing to my lips. I’d tried teaching him more words in English, but very few stuck. That one, however, kiss, was one he learned quickly. The moment I asked, the corners of his lips pulled up and he eagerly leaned in to press his mouth to mine. Before I knew it, his tongue crept in, massaging against my own. If there was one custom of modern society he liked most of all, it was definitely kissing. His hands came up to cradle my face as he eagerly kissed me deeper, nipping at my bottom lip just a little, before he delved in again.

“Vulfu!”

A shout from downriver, from the trees, shattered the picture-perfect moment and in an instant, we both snapped back to reality. Vulfu turned, his body blocking mine, like he feared an attack and he barked in the direction of the call. “Bip bip?”

“Bip, bip!”

He relaxed a little, but instantly, reached for me, and slung me effortlessly over his back, so that I held onto him like a backpack as he hurried towards the call, racing with great speed. We rounded a corner of the river to find a pile of rocks and boulders, with Kray standing high on top of them, staring down into the water with a mixture of curiosity and shock on his face. He pointed at something we couldn’t see, and Vulfu hurried over at once, climbing up the pile to Kray’s side to take a look. I wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders and scooted forward so I could see, and when I took in what we were looking at, I felt my whole body still.

Lying in a mess amongst the rocks below, were the remains of a deep blue kayak. The front part of it was mostly in pieces, shattered and floating forward and back into the shore, while the back half sat lodged in the stones and debris of fallen branches and leaves.

“Wahoe? Wahoe!” Kray cried, staring at with a blend of fear and uncertainty. The rest of the family had come over to see what was going on, and all appeared just as confused and somewhat scared of what they were seeing.

I, however…

Sliding off of Vulfu’s back, I began to climb down towards what had once been my kayak. Mine. Seeing it again was like I had suddenly awoken from whatever dream I’d been living in the past few weeks. Ignoring the pain in my feet, I made my way down, ignoring the objections of the others. Stepping into the knee-deep water, I carefully bent over a bit to peer into the remains of my kayak.

“Stevvy, chomm!” Vulfu snapped, clearly not happy with me being so close to this alien object.

“Mmuh, Vulfu,” I told him, shaking my head and pointing to it, “Cht Stevvy’s. This was mine. Cht jugra Stevvy,” I explained. At this, he went completely still, like he had turned to stone, and watched in silence as I searched through the kayak. I could hear the others murmuring to each other, and as I struggled to reach into the dark mess at the backend of the kayak, there was a light splash, and another set of hands reached in to help. It was Mowha.

When she pulled out my backpack and purple sleeping bag, I became so excited that I jumped up and down with joy and immediately reached for them. Mowha wordlessly passed it to me, and I stumbled over the rocky ground out of the water to the shore to go through my things. The others gave me a wide berth, but I was barely aware of them as I ripped open my bag so I could rummage through it, hoping that some things had been saved.

But before I could even stick a hand in, the bag was suddenly ripped from my hands. Vulfu held it away from himself, like it was something dangerous, and climbed to the highest point on the rocks, as if he was getting ready to throw it into the river.

“Vulfu no! Wait!” I cried, my heart stopping at the thought of having something so close to home back in my grasp again, only to have it taken from me again.

His arm was held way back, poised, looking like a discus thrower, ready to set a world record, but he paused. Thank God, he paused. His gaze flickered to me from under his lashes, the anger clear on his face. I stayed where I was in the water, hands held out, like I was showing him I wasn’t hiding anything from him, and I pleaded as tactfully as I could, given our language barrier.

“Vulfu… cht,” I pointed to the bag, “jugra Stevvy. Jugra!” I said, pointing to my chest. “It’s mine. It’s from my home. Hum. Stevvy’s hum.”

But that was evidently the wrong thing to say. At the mention of another home, a place he didn’t know, a place that wasn’t here, was all he needed to make up his mind. With a mighty swing, he threw the bag, and I watched in horror as it sailed through the air and landed with a heavy splash downriver, disappearing from view for a moment, before a small part of it bobbed to the surface, flowing far from me around the bend.

I sank into the water, the numbness of the moment overpowering as I watched helplessly. I’d been hoping for so many things in that bag. Matches, for one. That would have been nice. To cook some meat or warm up to a fire would be heaven. I tried to tell myself that most likely the matches were ruined anyway, that even if Vulfu hadn’t thrown the bag away, it wouldn’t have mattered. But there were other things in there I was hoping for…

A book I’d brought along on the trip… again, the water would have probably ruined it. Clothes… not that my deerskin wasn’t practical, but I had sweaters and pants in there. Utensils… a knife would be useful, but they had their own tools for cutting, so no big loss. Tissues. Again, most likely ruined from the water. A pair of sunglasses, non-prescription, again no big loss. My flashlight, that I highly doubt would be functioning by now. Some food, no doubt mouldy after sitting in a wet bag in the heat for weeks.

I tried to reassure myself with these thoughts over and over again. It’s no big loss, I told myself. It was all just… stuff. Nothing of value. Nothing important. But seeing it again, having that sense of my life outside of these woods back in my grasp, only to be thrown away so quickly hit me hard. I sat in the water, not realizing how cold I was until Mowha began to fuss over me. She tried picking me up, but I shook my head and pushed her back, not meaning to be rude, but I needed to be alone. She rubbed circles on my back, still fussing, her face etched with worry at my reaction to Vulfu’s decision to throw my old belongings away.

The others were all staring at me, too. All looking worried, but also casting looks of doubt to their leader, as if they disagreed with his call. But I was too distracted by my own feelings to think about it any further. I sat in the water, my dress getting soaked through, my body shivering hard, as I stared at the spot in the water where my bag had last been seen. I was vaguely aware of the others talking, like they were arguing. Even Dahkha was talking back to Vulfu, who remained where he was on the rock, and I tried to tell myself not to hate him at this moment.

“Stevvy mmuh gawar hum!” Vulfu was growling, pointing to where he’d thrown my bag. “Mmuh! Stevvy jugra aghaal! Jughra Mowha! Nawah hum!”

Stephanie no old home. No. Stephanie belongs to leader. Belongs to Mowha. New home.

I let out a long, heavy breath at his words. Vulfu was adamant that I would never go back to wherever it was I’d come from, that was clear. I doubted that even if I was found again, that I was taken from him, that he would even be able to adapt to modern society. There was just no way.

While my feelings for him were strong and indescribable, I wasn’t sure that I was ready to just give up on my old life.

I had no time to dwell on it any longer, as the moment Vulfu finished his speech he climbed down from the rocks and scooped me up out of the water without another look to the others. All he did was hold one of my arms aloft, showing off the tattoos on my wrists, “Stevvy hum!” he said one last time, before he headed back into the trees. Discussion over. He held me to his chest, my face pressed between his muscled pecs as he wandered through the forest, calling out to the others to follow with a sharp, “Chomm!”

The others came along, obedient once more, and continued to forage while Vulfu patrolled the perimeter around us, only this time he carried me with him, refusing to put me down for a second, like he thought I’d run away or be taken from him. I was still shivering, still in shock and a mixture of confusing and conflicting emotions over what had just happened, but I mostly felt numb.

It wasn’t until he sat on a large, fallen redwood trunk, climbing up and sitting in a sunny spot, that I sort of snapped out of my cloud of dissociation. He removed the animal skin satchels I’d been carrying, handing them off to Krahu who came to collect them, and he set me in his lap, like he was ready to have some sort of discussion with me.

I looked up at him, my legs resting on either side of his waist, spread wide, my arms loose at my sides. I probably looked like my old Raggedy Ann doll; limp and lifeless. Vulfu took my chin in his hand, tilting my face up so he could look into my eyes, his expression of utmost seriousness and severity.

“Stevvy,” he rumbled, one of his fingers slowly stroking my cheek again and again with that familiar fondness. “Mmuh gawar hum. Mmuh. Stevvy guh? Vulfu rragh.”

I’d heard that last word before. He’d used it mostly in regards to Kray and Dow when they were misbehaving or stirring up a little too much trouble in the home. So, when Vulfu used it now, I couldn’t help but shiver at the promise in his tone.

Stephanie no old home. No. Stephanie go? Vulfu punish.

He gave my chin a tiny shake, his eyes shining in earnest as he wished for me to understand. But he didn’t have to worry. The message was clear. I managed the tiniest of nods, given how tightly he was holding my chin, and he relaxed just a little. Enough that he let go, only to wrap his thick, muscled arms around my body to crush me against him as he hugged me hard, rocking us slightly side to side.

“Vulfu gwuhk Stevvy. Khuhgwo Stevvy. Gweed. Stevvy mmuh guh.”

Vulfu likes Stephanie. Protects Stephanie. A lot. Stephanie no go.

I felt my heart jump at his words. No matter how simple, how basic the speech of his people was, the sincerity and emotion behind each one hit harder than any poetry I’d ever heard. I couldn’t help but wrap my arms around him as best I could, given his size, and hugged him back, tears pricking my eyes.

“Stevvy gwuhk Vulfu gweed,” I said to him, stumbling a little with the words. “I like you a lot, too.”

The smile on his face threatened to crack it, it stretched so wide. Though, as always, without showing any teeth. He leaned in and gave me a little kiss, before moving to my neck to add a little lick there and continued to hold me. We stayed that way until the others finally came over, the sacks bulging with food, a rope of fresh fish tied around Dahkha’s neck, everyone ready to return home. With a final nod to the others, Vulfu transferred me to his back like a baby gorilla, and headed off into the trees, the rest all falling into formation.

I peered longingly over my shoulder to where I knew the remains of my kayak were, still wishing I had a chance to go through it. I tried committing this path to memory, noting the sun and which direction this would be… northwest to a degree, any unusual natural landmarks, etc. Maybe one day I could return here.

Vulfu gave my thigh a little smack. Startled, I looked forward, only to catch him watching me over his shoulder as he prowled through the bushes. He’d caught me and had obviously put together what I’d been thinking. When he gave me a warning growl, I reluctantly pressed my cheek to the smooth planes of his back, holding onto him tight. Satisfied, he focused on the trees around us, watching as always, and lingered a little to the back of the group, making sure no one was left behind. Mowha passed us, her eyes flickering from Vulfu to me like she still disapproved of his behavior, but as loyal as always, followed in line.

The sun was setting at our backs, the light changing from golds to orange and pinks, to purples and blues. As we made our way through the shrubbery and leaf filled foliage of the woods, I could make out the faint glow of fireflies drifting alongside us. For a moment, I forgot about the despair I’d felt back at the river, and the conflicting feelings I had for Vulfu. Right now, in this pale light with the fairy-like bugs sailing along the leaves, it felt magical and otherworldly. I couldn’t ignore the beauty of it. All unlike the buzzing electric and smoke-filled world I’d grown up with.

If being rescued or simply walking out of here was as impossible as it felt, maybe it was best I let go as Vulfu wished, and just accept that this is my life now? I hadn’t heard of any further search teams in the area. Escaping on my own was completely out of the question. Perhaps I had to get the idea out of my head and just move forward this way?

But it was hard to just accept it, as this world was so different from my old life. It was going to take time, and I doubt that I’d ever be able to completely let go of the hope of seeing home again.

As we broke through the treeline to the clearing of our redwood and boulder sanctuary, I tried to let a little piece of the past go, but it was going to be a long time before I would truly accept it.