Chapter 10
Haven
“Looking at this. It’s amazing,” Haven breathed, staring with stunned adoration at the movement of the ship’s engine.
She’d never been this close to one. Would never have had the chance before.
Not just because engines were usually carefully watched by engineers, especially Vytln watching over his, but because it was too dangerous.
Starship engines put off a lot of heat, noise, and radiation.
Enough to kill her if exposed to it too long.
But that was before she got her envirosuit.
Vytln said this thing was an older model, but as far as she could tell, this was the best, coolest, most advanced thing she’d ever worn.
She had to leave her letter jacket back in her nest since it didn't fit inside comfortably – it could, but it was easier to wear without it.
But the suit fit over the rest of her clothes just fine.
And it protected her completely from the heat, noise, and radiation even far past the shielding line.
Like she was in a protective bubble of comfort and safety.
Vytln – busy running from his emotional issues – was giving her a tour of the engine. And she was letting it happen, because she had her own thinking to do.
To her surprise, hearing that he’d once had another woman in mind as a mate hurt.
Not a lot. She wasn’t going to curl up in a ball and weep about it.
But there was an uncomfortable twinge in her chest that she couldn’t shake off.
It was either her being jealous over someone or some kind of early sign of heart disease – and she didn't really know which was worse.
So, she was doing a bit of her own emotional distancing. Except not really, because she was still all over him. Quite literally.
Vytln didn’t have a ladder. He climbed up the engine if he needed access to something high up. But most of the time, he was tall enough to reach whatever he needed without issue. There was therefore nothing for her to climb.
Except for him.
Which she did. Shamelessly. As he showed her around, pointing at this thing and that, she grabbed his arm and used it to climb up onto his back to get a better view.
He stilled from surprise, which just made it easier for her to do. He then gave her a look – like he was stunned she did that.
But he didn’t stop her. He didn’t complain or tell her no. He let it happen. And when she did it again later, he just held still and let her do what she wanted.
Strong enough to carry things where she wanted – which she loved. But also strong enough to act as her personal platform – which was even better!
She was using him as a step ladder even now, literally standing on his shoulders to look over the top of the engine.
And he held her up like it was nothing. He was working down below, using a massive wrench – it was shaped a bit differently than she was used to, but it was causing a wrenching motion, so it was a wrench – to access part of the left engine.
Aside from giving her a little support as she scrambled up his back, he didn't even seem to notice her up there.
As a bonus, his hard skin was a pretty sturdy mount to stand on.
“I just having to tightening everything down?” She asked, peeking back at him. He had an earpiece on allowing him to hear her, since the noise of the engine alone would have blocked out her voice, but the envirosuit helmet would have made it hard to hear her even in a quiet room.
“That’s it,” he replied, his voice rumbling in her ear in a way she couldn’t pretend not to like. “All these old bolts are starting to slip and I haven’t been able to replace all of them yet. So, part of my maintenance is just tightening them down whenever they need it.
“Got it!” Haven said happily, reaching for her own not-wrench and climbing up further, into the engine itself, to reach the bolts in question.
“Hey!” Vytln called to her from below. “Don’t just go crawling around everywhere. You could fall and get crushed by something.”
“I’m being careful,” Haven promised, already working on her bolts. They were dangerously loose, causing a lot of slipping and rattling. These were so high up and in a rather tight space that she imagined Vytln hadn’t been able to reach them before.
“Got you.”
The new voice wasn’t unfamiliar to her. She’d heard it before, though she’d never spoken to the owner directly. He sounded so victoriously satisfied though she couldn’t help but laugh.
“Hello, Alred,” she greeted, continuing to work.
“I can hear you!” He declared. Not like he was surprised. It almost sounded more like an accusation.
“I betting you can,” she chuckled.
“Alred,” Vytln said onto the channel, annoyed. “What are you doing? We’re trying to work.”
“I can hear her! You understand, I have not been able to hear nor see this creature the entire time she’s been here? I still can’t see her! But I finally hear her. I hear you!”
Haven chuckled. “You do. Can’t be hiding from you on a direct comm channel like this.”
“How are you hiding from me at all?!’
“Is being secret.”
“Yes. I know. Making it being un-secret.”
Haven lifted her head, looking out and down at the source of the yellow light that had begun shining from below.
The almost vulpine like yellow light figure standing beside Vytln was looking in her direction where he must know she should be, though she knew he couldn’t see her. She hadn’t yet allowed him to see her.
“Are you mocking me?” She asked, lips twitching despite herself.
“I’ll stop if you show yourself and tell me how you’re hiding.”
She smirked. “I’ll telling you my secret if you telling me yours.”
Vytln looked at her, then down at Alred. The light figure flickered before Alred suddenly began speaking to her in English.
“What do you know of my secret?”
She grinned and responded back in English, “I know what you’re trying to build in the subcompartments beneath main storage.”
His light figure flickered.
Haven chuckled. “Relax. I’m not going to tell if you don’t want me to.”
“That’s all you have to say?”
“You expected something else?” She turned, getting back to her task.
It took Alred a moment to respond, and when he did, his voice was soft. “Mockery, I suppose.”
She made a sound, shaking her head even though she knew he couldn’t see. “It’s ambitious. I admire that.”
“It’s foolish. Impossible.”
“Only impossible in that you haven’t found the way to do it yet. Have you considered the technology used in the food synthesizer?"
“Of course, I have. It wouldn’t work.”
“No, not as it is. But if you made a few adjustments to the technology, tweaked the programing, changed a few parts…” Haven let her voice trail off.
She didn't have any concrete ideas. It took her a while to even figure out what he was trying to do. And even when she did, she hadn’t really done more than admire the attempt.
She really didn't care for the squishy sciences. But…
“You want some help with that?”
Alred hesitated again before asking quietly, “You would help? Even if it were impossible?”
“Nothing is impossible. We just haven’t figured out how to make it possible,” she said, reaching down to her belt.
The control panel she had hidden within one of the pockets reacted even to her gloved hands.
Her termites responded immediately, releasing their hold on the ship’s systems. The block she had over herself eased so when she leaned out of the cubby hole and looked down, Alred was staring back up at her, surprise on his figure’s face.
“It just takes a little creativity and the right application of technology, and anything can be possible. Even your ambitions.”
Alred threw back his head and began laughing, earning a glare from Vytln.
“What are you two talking about that’s so amusing?” He grumbled.
Alred bowed to him with a flourish. “I was just complimenting Haven on her ingenuity and skills. Truly, she is an asset to our team.”
“A what to our what?” Vytln started.
“In fact, I think I’ll go talk to the captain,” Alred came back up, grinning at her. “I do believe keeping you around would be to our benefit, especially with all your secrets, and I’m sure I can get him to agree.”
Haven saluted him happily, giggling when he vanished in a shower of sparkles. That had been a bit of a gamble. She wasn’t sure how well Alred would have taken to her knowing something he clearly was trying to keep hidden from the others, but it had paid off.
Vytln looked from the space Alred had just been up to her, frowning. “What was that?”
She laughed, dangling her feet over the edge. “Catching me!”
She pushed off with a yell of joy.
Vytln cursed, scrambled to drop his not-wrench, and reached up. She didn't know if he caught her so much as he snagged her out of the air. He frowned as he clutched her to his chest and she laughed, patting his chest.
“Good catching.”
“That was reckless,” he snarled.
“Not when I’m knowing you will catching me,” she countered.
His eye twitched and mouth moved, but no sound came out, like he wanted to argue with her, but hadn’t yet figured out what points he’d be arguing with.
“Putting me down now,” she said, wiggling her feet in the air.
He did not. Just stared at her face. Haven frowned.
“I’m wanting to working now. Putting me down please.”
“No,” he said simply.
She blinked. “No?”
“No. You let Alred see you, didn't you?”
She didn't ask how he knew. It probably hadn’t been too hard to figure out. He might not understand exactly what they said to each other, but he got that part just based on how Alred reacted.
“Why? You’ve been hiding from him this entire time. Even when he knew you were there, you didn't let him see you. So, why now?”
“Most benefiting now,” she said, smirking.
His grip tightened around her waist. Not enough to hurt, but enough to let her know he was tense. And she kind of liked how hard his body felt around her.
“Did you tell him your secret?”
She shook her head, and nearly giggled when she felt him relax. Not much. She probably wouldn’t have noticed at all if she had been wearing her letter jacket instead of the envirosuit that was so tight on her body. But she did feel it. He was relieved.
“Tell me how you do it,” he said. It wasn’t quite a request, and it wasn’t quite a demand, but it straddled somewhere between those two points.
“Cannot,” she said.
“Why not?”
“Safety.”
“It’s not safe for you to tell me?”
She shook her head. “No. I keeping my secret for safety. If you are knowing, I losing my power.”
He couldn’t argue with that either. She smiled, stroking her hand over his face.
Enjoying the hard contours of his squared jaw, hard cheeks, and strong nose.
He would never win any great beauty contests, but there was something so interesting about his face.
Like modern art. No classical beauty there, but fascinating to the eye nonetheless.
He let her touch him without complaint. Just looking up at her like he was waiting for her to change her mind and divulge her secrets anyway.
“You know we won’t hurt you,” he said, his voice oddly calm. Was it easier for him to talk to her through the comm and helmet? “You’re taking advantage of that fact. So, why keep the secret?”
She smiled behind the helmet. “Wanting more.”
“What more? What do you want from us, Haven?”
The sound of her name in that rough, rocky voice made shivers dance down her back.
It was wonderful – like ice cracking over a lake or crystal clinking in a cave.
A sound that emulated music, but couldn’t be added to a harmony.
Like a well oiled machine humming or a familiar gear spinning.
She couldn’t quite describe how that voice forming her name made her feel, but she liked it.
But the question…
What did she want?
Honestly, Haven didn't really plan ahead.
At least, not in the way that she supposed normal people did in regard to their lives.
She didn't have five or ten year plans. She didn't even really understand how people planned things like ‘get married by thirty’ or ‘reach manager by next year’.
So many things were outside of their control, how could they plan for things like that?
She did make plans. Her termites were proof of her forethought. But she made those to protect her now as well as a year from now. She wasn’t laying the foundation for anything. She was just following her curiosity and trying to live free and happy.
So, when he asked her what she wanted, that was the simple answer.
But if he wanted an actual answer…
“I am wanting to stay,” she admitted. “I am being happy. I don’t wanting to leave. If you are thinking to get my secrets, you won’t forcing me to leave.”
He didn't respond immediately. And when he finally did, it wasn’t verbally. He turned his head away and pushed her over so she was laid across his shoulder. It was an obvious attempt to hide the look on his face that she allowed because she could feel her heart beating fast in her chest.
Vytln walked her out of the engine room.
The moment they crossed the barrier line on the floor, she felt an immediate change in the pressure of her suit.
It had protected her against heat and noise so well, she couldn’t feel the change in those, but it was like there was a weight off her body that made her feel lighter as he crossed the room.
Haven didn't fight when he once again slid her into the trap. She fell into her nest and turned back, but he hadn’t closed the hole immediately.
He had his hand up on the mechanism, prepared to pull it down, but he was hesitating, Looking at her.
And maybe it was easier to communicate through the mask and the comm after all, because she kept them on as he said-
“I get restless when you’re out of the trap. I don’t know if I even can let you go anymore.”
It was as much of a confession as he was able to give. He closed the trap, tightening the hole again, before he walked away. Haven watched him go as she sat back against her pillows. Thinking to herself about what just happened.
About what might happen.
And really, what did she want?