Chapter 25
When we get to the theater, Felix is waiting by the fountain. He waves, but does a double take when he spots Roland beside me.
Felix pulls me aside. “Are you kidding me?”
“There's something I should tell you.” I explain everything. By the time I'm done, however, Felix's face has only grown more confused.
“Is there some reason you didn't tell me before?”
I didn't want to alarm him, I say. He's still not having it, though, and he sighs in a way that I can't tell if he's frustrated with me as a person or frustrated with Roland being here, or both.
“I want to help him, Felix. Why is that so bad? He needs to get out and do something. He's losing his mind like Jack Nicholson in The Shining, staying at home all the time. Holy shit, look at him.”
“Yeah, I can see. How long has he been dead for?” Felix asks while Roland sits there by himself, looking like a zombie while people walk by and stare.
“He's going to sit and watch a flick for two hours, and I'll be right next to him. What is the worst that can happen?”
The three of us amble through the movie theater lobby, Felix and I unsure of how to position ourselves next to Roland.
There's never been three of us before. I awkwardly switch from walking next to Roland to walking behind him as bigger crowds of people pass us.
They stare at Roland, who rolls along blank-faced. I know he's burning with rage inside.
Worse: I see Aubrey and Sutter coming toward us.
I jump in front of Roland, causing him to bump into me. I turn around, making sure they're out of Roland's sight as they pass.
“Hey, Roland, how would you like popcorn?”
He shakes his head.
“Soda?”
Still shaking.
“Candy?”
Increasingly annoyed shaking.
“A Ratoppotamus popcorn bucket?”
“Wade, he's good,” Felix says, getting a little impatient himself.
Thankfully, Aubrey and Sutter pass without seeing us. As we move forward, I explain to Felix through a whisper. He looks behind him for them, but they're gone by now.
Inside the theater, we move toward the front where the accessible seating is, but there's only one open seat next to it.
“I can sit up in the middle. I don't like the front anyway,” Felix says, setting off before I can even get a word in.
When Roland settles in the spot, his eyes suddenly light up.
Aubrey and Sutter walk right past us. Aubrey freezes so quickly that Sutter bumps into her. She tries to pretend she didn't see us, but it's too late.
“Roland! Hi!” is all she can muster, along with a nervous smile.
Roland stares at her for an intense second and immediately bows his head, looking at the floor instead.
“Come on, let's go,” Sutter says, pulling Aubrey along and muttering the word “freaks.”
The night is already ruined, and the movie hasn't even started. Now he knows Aubrey is with Sutter and that's all he'll be able to think about the next two hours.
The lights go out and the screen starts playing the previews right as the words come out of my mouth.
Thank goodness. Then the movie starts. It's uncomfortable watching it in the front.
My eyes feel like they're stretching themselves out.
I mentally punch myself, remembering that I wouldn't be here right now if I hadn't done what I did.
The movie is scary and loud. At one point, the ratoppotamus jumps from the ceiling and pounces on the main character's boyfriend, devouring him from the feet to the skull in a prolonged gory attack
I glance at Roland, hoping the movie makes him react somehow. He's still stony-faced. He's not even looking at the screen.
His chest starts to expand in and out. His breathing deepens. Within thirty seconds, he is bawling.
“Oh no! Are you okay? Don't cry!” I turn to him and place my hand on his shoulder. What a stupid question. Of course he's not okay.
A man beside us glares and shushes me while shoving handfuls of popcorn through his greasy lips. I look up for Felix, but I can't find him in the crowd full of faces.
“Okay, let's step outside,” I say, cringing at my own choice of verb.
“Will you shut up?” the guy yells at us.
I get up and steer Roland toward the exit. “He's having a panic attack, you worthless fartass,” I tell the popcorn monster.
Away from that dark, loud theater with Aubrey and Sutter and the popcorn monster, the lobby feels less suffocating. Roland's face is a mess. People shoot us pity looks.
“I guess you might want to go home. Let me go find Felix first,” I say, and step back into the theater vestibule. Felix is already walking toward me.
“What's going on?”
“He's having a breakdown. I need to take him back home.”
“Do you want me to come with you?”
Actually, I do. But I know Felix is being nice, and he wanted to see this movie. I'm not about to ruin it for him.
“No. Get back in there and tell me all about it when it's over!”
“We're still on for Halloween, right?”
“But of course,” I say.
He starts for the door, but turns back to me.
“Listen, I know you mean well, but you should think deeply about whether or not you're hurting him even more.”
I nod defeatedly. He's right. I failed. At least I tried, right? From now on, the best I can do for Roland is to do my job and let the professionals take care of him. But what hope does he have with parents like his?