Chapter 28
november
In Texas History, Mrs. Wetherly plays an IntegriTruth video about Texas's participation in the Civil War, which Scout the Eagle makes sure to tell us was about states' rights and states' rights only. Felix and I throw ideas at each other for our horror short instead.
Me:What if we made a monster film about a demonic lady who feasts on eggs and the souls of the men she dates?
Him:
I think your aunt would sue.
“This video wasn't telling the whole story,” Daisha declares to all of us. “Just like the Alamo video we watched wasn't telling the whole story.”
Mrs. Wetherly crosses her arms impatiently. “And what was wrong about the Alamo video?”
“The Texans were settlers, right? So that means they were immigrants.
And they were coming into Mexican territory with slaves, which the Mexicans didn't like,” Daisha says.
“And I'm sitting here thinking, I thought we're supposed to be mad at the immigrants who are coming into our country and not adapting to the rules and the culture?”
Sutter butts in, because of course. “What's your point? Santa Anna was a brutal dictator and they didn't want to be ruled by him anymore.”
“I don't disagree that Santa Anna was a terrible man. But why didn't they move back home if they didn't like it? It's not like most of them had an ocean to cross.”
“Because they weren't cowards and wanted to fight for freedom,” Sutter says, getting angrier.
Sutter reminds me of all the people at Nessie's Hot Tub. All the Sasquatch fanboys, their kids beating up that man in the vaccine costume, and… wait.
YES.
I type as fast as my thumbs can take me.
I've got it
BLAIR WITCH PROJECT + GAY SASQUATCH VACCINE
Felix looks up from his phone and gives me two thumbs up.
Him:
Sass-quatch.
Me:
No. Yass-squatch!
Me:
Clint even has the costume!
Him:How do you make Bigfoot gay though?
Me:With twenty dollars at CVS, that's how.
It's settled! And then I realize there's a fight happening right in front of me.
“I pray you got the sense God gave a goose, Sutter Breedlove. Fight for freedom to do what?” Daisha asks.
“Freedom to be free,” Sutter starts shouting.
Daisha matches his volume. “Freedom to be free to do what? Jesus save me.”
“Daisha, calm down,” Mrs. Wetherly says. Daisha's mouth gapes wide open.
“I guess you wish we were still under a Mexican dictatorship,” Sutter shoots back.
“The freedom to have slaves,” Daisha says.
“Why are you being so political?”
“We're in a history class!”
“If you really want to dive deep into it, Texas was colonized by the Spanish and then the Anglos, so either way you slice it, it's stolen land,” somebody says.
Sutter raises his hand. “Mrs. Wetherly, Daisha's got me real pissed and I have a rash on my neck now.”
Rosferatu nods and writes Sutter's name under the daily Patriot Points chart, giving him five points. He turns around and smiles menacingly at Daisha, who can only throw her head back down on her desk.