Chapter 51
The following week, I decide that we're going to try for the filmmakers' co-op in LA.
Felix isn't actively responsive about it except for “sounds fine.” I call the landlord, who tells me if we sign the lease and pay a deposit in the next two weeks, it's ours as early as June.
I sign it as soon as I print it out, and Dinah, true to her word, signs as our guarantor. Now the ball is in Felix's court.
I'm in my room rehearsing and the doorbell rings. Nobody answers it, so I'm forced to open the door myself. There's a deliveryman with a large rectangular package.
“Delivery for Clint Holtz. Sign here,” the man says, handing me an electronic pad to sign. Two other men bring the package inside and set it down next to the couches in the living room.
Dinah rushes up to me in a frenzied panic. “Clint said he needed to talk to me about something. I need you to be here and I need you to support me if he dumps me. Look intimidating. That stupid pouty look you always have, do it right now.”
“Like this?” I frown.
She groans. “Gross. But yes, that's the face. Except be ten times scarier. He already thinks you're going to shoot up your school, so he'll think twice about breaking my heart in front of you.”
It's so hard to look glum when the universe is about to grant you a long-desired wish.
Clint comes in from the kitchen and sees the package. “Woo! It came!”
“What did you want to talk to me about, Clint?” Dinah asks.
“Perfect timing. I've been doing some thinking,” he says, then looks at me. “Maybe some privacy, Wade?”
“No,” she says. “Wade is in one of his moods and he might erupt, so tread carefully!”
“Okay. Well, first of all…” Clint holds back for a moment. I rub my fingers together. I am so ready for the dumping to begin and cannot physically handle the anticipation. “I want to apologize.”
Wait. What?
“Huh?” Dinah says.
“I realized that maybe I'm hogging your show a bit and you're not getting the glory you deserve.”
Dinah's eyes light up. Shit. Shit, shit, shit.
“I'm gonna give you some space to host the show on your own. I can make some videos on the side as premium content and charge extra.”
I can't believe Clint is capable of change. I refuse to believe it.
“I also wanted to give you something that shows everybody how glorious you are,” he says, unveiling a long, thin object wrapped in paper. Dinah, beaming with gratitude, rips it open.
It's a portrait of Catherine the Great, holding a scepter and a Fabergé egg, the Great Imperial Crown of Russia on her head—except her face has been replaced by Dinah's using AI.
“It's Catherine the Great, of Russia—but it's you! Dinah the Great! Because you're my queen.”
Overwhelmed, Dinah covers her tear-drenched face with both hands. “This is the greatest gift I've ever received! Wade, look at it! I'm hanging it right behind me in the studio!”
“And since you're my queen…” He gets down on one knee and pulls something out of his pocket.
I feel my whole world collapsing.
“Would you also be my wife?”
I fall to the ground.
Dinah jumps in place. Her tears lead to full-blown crying, and she fans her face. “I thought you were going to dump me! Yes! Forever and ever!”
Clint picks her up and whirls her around before kissing her, like it's a freeze-frame happy ending in a romance movie.
She wraps her legs around his waist and squeezes it between her knees.
He smooches her all over her neck, and she looks at me and says, “Wade, I'm getting married! Can't you even smile, for Chrissake?”