Chapter Twenty-One
Rose
"How are you holding up?" Jade asks, taking my hand in hers.
We're en route to Saint Gabriel Cathedral for Jackson's wedding, and I've been debating for weeks whether I'd even come.
I didn't go when he married Elyse. That was a small, closed ceremony, and at the time I had no idea what was actually behind it.
Even during that marriage, there were so many almosts between us.
The pool. The near-misses. Years of sexual tension neither of us ever bothered naming because naming it would've required us to do something about it.
He never stopped touching me. Never stopped finding reasons to stand too close.
Since I've been back, he's different. Careful. Hands in his pockets, conversations conducted from three feet away, every interaction controlled to the point of being irritating.
And now he's getting married. Married, married.
I need to see it happen.
Not hear about it later. Not see photographs or read some society-page recap about the happy couple.
I need to sit there and watch him choose someone else with my own two eyes, because I know myself well enough to know I'd leave room for doubt otherwise.
I'd find some stupid little loophole and live in it for another decade.
I need this finished.
"I'm dying a little, obviously," I tell Jade. "But I can watch a friend get married. He's not mine anymore, so I can be there for him as a friend."
"I think he'll always be yours, Rose." She squeezes my hand.
"No matter where that man stands, no matter whose ring he's wearing, he will always be yours.
" She lets that sit for half a beat before brightening.
"You know, we do know some actual criminals.
We could have her taken out. I know a guy who knows a guy. "
Gerald's eyes meet mine in the rearview mirror. He says absolutely nothing and raises the partition.
I laugh for the first time all morning. "Smart man."
"He's protecting himself."
"From accessory charges."
"Exactly."
I turn my hand in Jade's and squeeze back. "Thank you. For everything you did while I was gone. I don't think I ever properly thanked you. You stepped into Sullivan, held all my threads, dealt with Michael, dealt with the businesses. Hell, you even befriended Jackson."
"You're the love of my life, Rosalie," she says plainly. "There isn't a damn thing you could ask me for that I wouldn't give you. The job was easy. Jackson was... fine, eventually. Loving you has never once been work."
Well, fuck.
"I love you so much."
"I love you too, babes." She glances out the window as the cathedral comes into view, then looks back at me. "And if it gets to be too much in there, you squeeze my hand twice and we're gone. No explanations, no hanging around because you think leaving would be rude. That's the deal."
"Deal."
The car comes to a stop, and Gerald steps out to open the door. Jade exits first, then he extends a hand to help me out.
"Ms. Rose. There's a matter I'd like to speak with you about before you step inside, if that's alright."
I look up at him. His face has gone stern enough that my stomach drops.
"I wasn't serious, Gerry," Jade says, raising both hands. "We're not actually killing anybody. I'll wait by the doors."
"Thank you for clarifying your criminal intent," I call after her, then turn back to Gerald. "What's wrong?"
I realize he's still holding my hand from helping me out of the car. Instead of letting go, he closes both of his around it.
"Ms. Rose, I've been driving for you a long time, and us drivers, well, we see a lot and don't say much.
" He pauses, and I get the distinct impression he's been rehearsing this speech in traffic.
"You've come a long way. You're lighter now.
Brighter than I've ever seen you. And I don't say this as your driver.
I say it as your friend. If walking into that church is going to undo any of that, then it's not worth the price of admission. "
My throat tightens.
"I've come to care about you and your family a great deal, and I want to be sure you're alright. So I'm staying right here. If you need to leave at any point, for any reason, you walk back out those doors and this car will be waiting. No questions. No explanations owed."
"Gerald. Goddamnit."
I wrap my arms around his waist and press my cheek against his chest. "You sappy fucker."
His laugh rumbles under my ear.
"Thank you," I say into his lapel. "Really. Please stay."
"Yes, ma'am."
He steps back and folds his arms behind him, settling beside the car like he plans to personally guard my escape route for the next several hours.
I turn toward the cathedral doors. Jade is waiting there with one hand already extended toward me.
So that's the situation.
One best friend. One driver refusing to leave. Two perfectly functional exits.
I can do this.
I take Jade's hand and walk inside.