Jackson
“Before I get started with my official best man speech, the results of today’s bet are in, and I’m proud to announce that I won.”
James stands proudly on the stage in front of the crowd, not a single nerve on display as he adjusts the microphone. The room immediately breaks into laughter, which tells me far too many people know exactly what bet he’s talking about.
Rose chuckles beside me, her head resting against my chest as we sit together at the head table. I narrow my eyes at Bennet across the room when I see him pull money from his pocket and hand it to Joe.
How the fuck did I miss an entire betting operation centered around me?
“For those of you who didn’t know, we had a bet on how long it would take Jackson to break down into tears. My bet was as soon as the doors opened and before Ma even took a step.” James grins at me. “And I was right.”
The room erupts again. Rose tilts her face up toward mine with a smile that is entirely too pleased with this information.
“You knew about this?” I whisper.
“Of course I knew.”
“And you didn’t bet?”
“I wasn’t allowed.”
“Why?”
“Conflict of interest.” She kisses my jaw. “For the record, I would’ve bet on before the doors opened. Now shush.”
I shake my head and turn my attention back to the stage, already filing away the fact that nobody in this family respects my dignity.
“Now, I should probably introduce myself,” James says, resting one hand casually against the microphone stand. “Unofficially, my name is James Samson Monroe.”
I frown.
Beside me, Rose lifts her head from my chest.
“But what Ma doesn’t know is that, as of last week, officially, my name is James Samson Bennett-Monroe.”
Rose goes completely still. Her hand flies to her mouth, and I feel the breath leave her before I hear the broken little sound that comes with it.
James came to me and Michael before he did it.
He didn’t need our permission, but he wanted us to know, and more importantly, he made both of us swear we wouldn’t tell Rose.
Keeping that secret from her has been one of the harder things I’ve done lately, especially after the paperwork became official last week and James walked around the house acting like absolutely nothing had happened.
Now I get why he wanted to tell her this way.
Rose’s eyes never leave him.
I pull her closer against me and kiss her temple as tears start slipping down her cheeks. She doesn’t bother wiping them away, and at this point I think we’ve both accepted that crying is just how we’re spending our wedding day.
James smiles at her from the stage, and for the first time since he took the microphone, a little bit of nerves breaks through.
Rose shakes her head slowly, still covering her mouth, and mouths, I love you.
His smile gets wider.
“Love you too, Ma.”
There’s a collective sound from somewhere in the room, and James immediately lifts a hand.
“Okay, nobody start. I have an entire speech to get through, and this family has already exceeded its recommended daily allowance of emotional breakdowns.”
That gets the laugh he was looking for, including one from Rose, although hers comes through tears.
James looks back down at his notes. “It’s an honor and a privilege to be the best man today, but I can tell you it’s a role I truly don’t deserve.”
I tilt my head at him.
Yeah. That sounds like bullshit already.
“Technically, there were more qualified candidates. But I’m a nepo baby, so Jackson asked me. Now, here we are.”
The room explodes. I drop my head back and laugh while Rose folds into me, her shoulders shaking. “Jesus Christ.”
“When he did, I told him he should probably think about it because being the best man sounded like a lot of responsibility, and I had no idea what I was supposed to do. Then he told me there wasn’t anybody else he wanted standing next to him.”
Rose’s fingers find mine on the table and thread through them. James glances down at our hands for a second before looking back at us.
“And that’s kind of how Jackson has always been with me. He never made me feel like I was just part of the deal because he loved my mom. He made me feel like he chose me too.”
Well, here we fucking go.
I already cried through the ceremony. I would really like to keep whatever dignity I have left through dinner.
James pauses and glances at his notes. “But enough about Jackson. As we all know, we shouldn’t overfeed his ego.”
Rose laughs a little too fucking hard at that, and I look down at her while the rest of the room joins in.
“Really?”
She wipes beneath her eyes. “Shush. Best man is speaking.”
Traitor.
James waits for the laughter to settle before continuing. “The night I found out Rose was my biological mom, I made myself a promise that I was going to be a good son to her.”
The change in Rose is immediate. Her smile disappears and her fingers tighten around mine.
“Not because she asked me to. She didn’t. Ma has never expected anything from me because of what happened or because she gave birth to me. If anything, she’s spent a lot of time making sure I know I don’t owe her anything.”
Rose’s breath shudders beside me.
“I just wanted her to be proud of me. I wanted her to know that the choice she made gave me an amazing life.”
Fuck.
Rose folds closer into my side, and when I feel her trying to pull in a breath that doesn’t quite make it, I kiss her temple and give her a small squeeze.
“Breathe, baby.”
She nods and holds my hand tighter.
James turns away from us and looks toward Samson and Lauren.
“Mom and Dad, you gave me everything. You gave me love, a home, a family, every opportunity I could’ve asked for and a childhood I wouldn’t trade for anything.
You never made me question for one second whether I was your son, and nothing that happened after I found out where I came from changed that.
I will always be your son, and I will always love you. ”
Lauren is already crying, tucked into Samson’s side while he holds her against him. Even from here I can see him swallowing hard, and I’m beginning to think James deliberately designed this speech to take out every adult in the room one by one.
Little bastard.
James looks back at Rose.
“But there was always this question. Even when I wasn’t thinking about it, it was there. Who was she? Did I look like her? Did she ever think about me? Did she love me? Why did she give me away?”
Rose makes a small sound beside me, and I wrap my arm tighter around her without taking my eyes off James. His are wet now too, but he keeps going.
“Then I met her, and I got all those answers. And Ma, I need you to know something because I don’t think I’ve ever actually said it like this.”
Rose shakes her head slightly, already crying too hard to give him much of an answer.
“You didn’t leave a hole in my life when you gave me to Mom and Dad. They made sure of that. You gave me exactly what you wanted me to have.”
Lauren bows her head against Samson’s shoulder, and Rose’s hand clamps around mine hard enough that I’m probably losing circulation. I don’t move it.
“But when I found you, I found a piece of myself I didn’t know where to put before.”
James smiles through his tears, looking directly at Rose.
“And it turns out that piece was you-shaped.” He wipes quickly beneath one eye, then glances at me. “And I think maybe the same thing happened to you today. Except your piece was Jackson-shaped.”
Rose lets out a broken laugh and immediately covers her face with her free hand. “Goddammit, James.”
“Sorry, Ma.”
“No, you're not.”
“No. I'm really not.”
The room laughs with them, although half the people in it are crying too, and James smiles like he knows damn well what he just did.
“And before anybody gets mad at me, I don't mean Jackson fixed her or saved her or any of that shit. Ma would've kicked his ass if he tried.”
“Correct,” Rose calls out through her tears.
“I know.” James smiles. “What I mean is, I think you recognized something in him.
The same way I recognized something in you.
Something that was already yours. You didn't need Jackson to become whole.
You were already you. But I think there was always a place in your life that belonged to him, even when he wasn't there. You were just…waiting for him.”
I look down at Rose, and she's already gazing up at me.
James keeps talking, but I lose a few seconds of it because the kid has decided his best man's speech is the appropriate time to explain my entire fucking life back to me.
And annoyingly, he might be right.
Maybe that's why everything after Rose always felt temporary, even when I was trying like hell to convince myself it wasn't. Why I could build whole relationships with other women and still have some part of my brain comparing them to her.
Why seeing Rose again after a year didn't feel like starting over with somebody I'd lost.
It just felt like Rose.
Which is probably the least sophisticated way anyone has ever reached an emotional breakthrough, but there it is.
Rose brings our joined hands to her mouth and kisses my knuckles. “I love you,” she whispers.
I lean down and kiss her temple. “Love you too, wife.”
Her smile trembles, and before either of us can disappear any further into our own little world, James clears his throat loudly into the microphone.
“I'm still talking.”
Rose laughs against my chest. “Sorry, baby,” she calls out.
“Thank you.” He looks back at his notes. “Now, if everyone could stop having private romantic moments during the speech I spent three weeks writing, I'd like to finish before the cake gets stale.”
That gets another laugh from the room, and I sit back with Rose tucked against me, because getting roasted by my own best man is just another perk of fatherhood.