22. Bailey
Bailey
Sitting on the couch after a day spent doing homework and growing a tiny human who, according to the pregnancy tracking app I downloaded, is the size of a mango right now, was exhausted.
I have She’s the Man playing in the background while I work on a paper for Nursing Ethics.
Aiden should be home any minute. I texted him a little while ago, and asked him if he could stop at the store on his way home to pick up Oreos, peanut butter, apples, and blue popsicles.
My current craving is the Oreos and peanut butter, but Bear keeps telling me that I need to eat healthier, so I told him to grab the apples.
We will see if I actually eat them. He is always good to me, but since I found out I was pregnant, he has been especially amazing.
Aiden has kept his promise to be there every step of the way.
He has come to every doctor’s appointment, helped me take my blood pressure every morning when we first wake up, and every night before we go to bed.
He sends me a text every day to make sure I’ve taken my medications.
There are always plenty of snacks in the apartment.
He has spent more time than I have researching all the things I am going to need for Rowan.
The man is obsessed with having top of the line everything for this little girl.
She is going to be so fucking spoiled and that’s just from her daddy, it still feels so weird to think that word, still feels too good to be true.
Aiden walks into the door of the apartment and kicks his shoes off, “I’ve got the goods,” He says as he holds the grocery bag out for me.
When I reach for it, he pulls it out of my reach, leans over the back of the couch and kisses me breathless.
When he pulls away, I hold my hand out with the bag, but he side steps me and heads into the bathroom.
“What the heck, Bear?” I pout, I walk follow him into his room with my arms crossed over my chest.
“You need to eat dinner before I let you eat a bunch of cookies.” He says with a stern look on his face. I wonder if he has been practicing that look in the mirror for when Rowan is an angsty teenager.
“Are you really trying to take cookies from a pregnant woman?” I glare at him. “That is extremely unwise Aiden Matthew.”
“Don’t ‘Aiden Matthew’ me, Blue. You know you need real food and not just cookies.
I already ordered a pizza with pepperoni and olives and it should be here in 10 minutes.
You can wait that long to eat real food.
You can have all the cookies you want after you’ve eaten pizza and maybe a few apple slices. ”
“Fine, Dad!” I roll my eyes and stomp my foot before walking back into the living room. I’m aware I’m acting like a toddler, but I need those cookies.
“I don’t think the Daddy kink is really my thing, but we can try it if you’re really into it,” he says as he approaches me, I give him an exaggerated eye roll. He flops down on the couch next to me and asks, “How are my girls today?"`
“We are good.” I say as butterflies erupt in my belly when he says my girls.
I’ve been feeling those a lot lately, I’m not sure if it’s Aiden and his sweet words he has been throwing my way or if it’s possibly the baby moving around.
I heard that the first few weeks of feeling the baby move it kind of feels like butterflies, so it’s really a toss up on which it is.
“Today has been a good day. I got ahead on Pharmacology and Human Development, I was working on my Ethics paper when you walked in. I just need to write a bit more on my paper and take a quiz for my Nursing Theory class then I’ll be done for the night. ”
“I’m so proud of you, Blue. You’ve worked so hard this semester to keep your grades up, all while being pregnant and not feeling well.” He places a hand on my belly and starts rubbing circles on it
“Thanks, I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you and your parents.” I say looking straight into his pretty honey eyes. “This girl is so lucky to have you and the whole Baker clan in our lives.”
“We are the lucky ones, Blue. You have brought so much joy into our lives, and I know Rowan is going to do the same thing. You’ve been wrapped around my little finger since the day we met, and I know that Little Bear is going to be just as bad if not worse than her momma.
” He says, leaning over to kiss me on the lips before kissing my belly.
The doorbell rings just as he is sitting back up, “That must be the pizza.”
Using the remote, I navigate around until I find the next episode of Love Island.
This show is so trashy, but so entertaining at the same time.
Aiden pretends to hate it, but he gets just as into it as I do.
We find ourselves yelling at the TV whenever we are watching it.
Telling people not to fall for other contestant’s bullshit and lies.
I think the best part of watching this show is watching it with Aiden.
“Are you excited about game night tomorrow?” Aiden asks when he finished the last piece of pizza.
“Of course I am. I love our game nights. It will be fun next year to have everyone plus Rowan and Charly. I can’t believe all of us got into the same university.” I say as I snuggle into his side.
“She’s so excited about next year. It will be good for her to be here too. Built in friends, but also an opportunity to make her own.” He responds.
“I’m excited for her to be here.” I say before turning back to the TV. We snuggle together for the next hour occasionally yelling at the people on the show for whatever nonsense they got themselves into.
“Ugh, I really need to do more homework.” I say as I switch the TV to New Girl, “will you grab me the cookies, so I can snack while I work on this damn paper? I want to try and get a good amount done before I work on my quiz.”
Aiden gets up off the couch to grab the cookies and his backpack.
Once he sits down with everything in hand he grabs a book and highlighters out of his bag.
I eat my cookies and peanut butter and get to work on my paper.
Aiden begins to read his book and takes notes on what he reads.
We stay exactly like this until my eyes get droopy and my brain no longer works.
I’m asleep before my head hits the pillow.
I’m sitting at a table in Sugarplum Cafe a couple weeks later, my favorite bakery slash coffee shop on campus, waiting for my order to be called, fighting a yawn.
I didn’t sleep very well last night. A couple weeks ago I started to feel Rowan move.
It’s taken some getting used to, but last night she was wiggling around all night.
I love feeling her move, but if she could do it during normal business hours, her momma would appreciate it.
Sugarplum Cafe has this amazing sugarplum pound cake that Rowan has demanded almost every day. At my last appointment the doctor told me I should be more active, so I take the fifteen minute walk to get my daily slice of cake. Today, I’m meeting Maggy to work on homework.
The bell over the door dings, and I look up and freeze at the sight of Daniel walking through the door.
It’s a small campus, and I knew I would probably run into him at some point, but I don’t know what to expect from this interaction.
I’m tired, and not really in the mood. Hopefully Maggy is almost here, so I will have back up if it doesn’t go well.
Me: How far out are you?
Maggy: Four minutes and Chloe decided to come with me, why? What’s up?
Me: Daniel just walked in and I might need back up.
Maggy: I’ll be as fast as I can. Text the group chat. See if anyone else is around.
*game night gang group chat*
Me: is anyone close to Sugarplum?
Maddox: Aren’t you meeting Maggy there?
Me: She’s almost here, but Daniel just walked in. I’m not sure he’s even going to say anything, but thought I’d ask just in case.
Bear: I’m walking out of class right now, be there in five
Sebastian: I’m next door at Subside Story. I’m walking out the door right now.
Bear: I’m still coming
Maddox: Looks like y’all got it covered, let me know if you need me tho.
Dallas: Same.
Chloe: I’m with Maggy. Ready to throw down.
Me: SMH, thanks guys.
Sebastian walks through the door seconds later, and comes over to sit at my table, “You alright, Bee?” My grumpy friend asks.
“I’m alright. I really hope he doesn’t say—” my words are cut off by a shadow looming over my table.
“Bailey.” Daniel’s face is completely void of emotion when I look up at him.
“Hey Daniel,” I say, trying to sound more confident than I feel.
“How are you feeling?” Daniel asks. His eyes keep flicking from my face to my very obvious baby bump.
“I’m okay. Tired today.” I run a hand over my belly. “Baby is doing well. The first trimester was a struggle, but things have been better for a few weeks now.”
“Good, I’m glad.” He doesn’t actually sound like he means that. “Listen, I’ve seen you on campus a few times over the last few months. I have to ask, are you sure the baby is mine. You always seem to be with that Aiden guy whenever I see you.”
“Aiden and I might be together now, but hadn’t crossed that line yet when we met, Daniel.” I ball my hands into fists at the top of my belly, trying to calm the rage flowing through me. “Like I told you before, the night we slept together, I hadn't been with anyone in over a year.”
“You asked for a paternity test to sign away your rights,” Sebastian says, “I’m sure the results will prove she’s not the liar you think she is.”
“I don’t want any trouble, I just had to ask. They seemed so close that night, and seeing them on campus repeatedly makes it seem so sketchy.” Daniel holds his hands up in mock surrender. “My family has a lot of money, you’d be surprised what people will do to get a piece of it.”
A laugh completely devoid of humor comes from behind Sebastian, “You clearly don’t know who my family is,” Aiden comes to stand right next to me, “Bailey doesn’t need your money, Daniel.”
“Okay, again, I don’t want any trouble. I just had to ask.” Daniel begins to back away, “I look forward to hearing from your lawyers.” He leaves the cafe without another glance.
I turn to Aiden and look in his eyes, “Get me out of here, please.”
As far as interactions went, that wasn’t the worst. Getting accused of being after his money made me feel like shit, because to the outside world, pit probably looks like I’m using Aiden for his money.
His best friend gets pregnant and cut off by her family, and she suddenly has feelings for him?
Who is going to believe that I’ve always loved this man?
I know the truth, my friends know the truth, Aiden knows the truth, but the rest of the world doesn’t.
I know I shouldn’t care what the rest of the world thinks, but hearing Daniel basically imply that I got pregnant on purpose to take his money just opened wounds that hadn’t yet healed.
And the icing on the cake is that someday I will have to tell Rowan how she came into this world. Someday she will have to know that her sperm donor didn’t want to know her. That his family didn’t want to know her. Someday, I will have to break my little girl’s heart.
I know what it is like to be unwanted by the very people who are supposed to love you most, and I never wanted that for my kids.
I know Rowan will always have a family that loves her unconditionally, but someday, she will know about her biological father and how he responded when he found out, and that breaks my heart more than anything ever has.
I just hope that when that day comes, she will have been shown so much love that putting the pieces back together won’t be hard.
That she will see all the love that she has been surrounded by, that she has a family that chose her from the second they found out she was coming into the world, that she will know that she has a family that will drop everything to come to her rescue when she needs them, just like they did when I sent that text earlier.
She will have aunts and uncles, a Mimi and Pop Pop, a mom and a dad, if all goes well with me and Aiden, who love her enough that she won’t feel the loss of people who aren’t worth the hurt, aren’t even worth a second thought.