Chapter 6
Julian
Ipull my Jeep into Allie’s driveway. What did I agree to? But, really, how could I not? Allie has given me . . . everything. I’m not sure I’d even be here if it weren’t for her and her saving ways. And if anyone deserves a retreat, it’s her.
And if Ever stops looking at me with those save me eyes, I can do this.
I’m not sure she’s even aware she does it, which makes it worse.
It’s just house-sitting, I repeat to myself.
And I don’t have to house-sit, per se. I just need to be available, in case.
Ever and I don’t even have to see each other.
Except we do. All day every day at work.
Allie did amend the hours at the club and implemented the app access, so Lilly and Noah have more freedom to help us at Brew for the evening shifts and closing.
Those two are golden and beyond helpful.
I have no doubt we can handle all of this without missing a beat.
So why am I hiding in my Jeep like a nervous kid?
Allie left early this morning for the airport.
The training program even sent a car to take her to the airport.
No wonder she didn’t want to miss this opportunity.
It appeared to be first-class all the way.
It’s just Ever inside now. That’s why I’m out here.
Why does this girl scare me so much? She’s here on her own—not quite the damsel in distress she seemed to be that first day.
I admit it though: She scares me. She makes me feel things I haven’t felt in three years.
That’s not to say I’ve been a monk. It’s hard to say no when women, beautiful women, throw themselves at you—with no strings attached.
Mostly the bored and Botoxed type, older than me and essentially living at the gym to stave off the certainty of aging.
The best part is, they only want one thing from me.
No feelings involved and they don’t want anyone to know.
Although in a town this size, that’s not possible.
I’ve even heard the rumors, and I don’t care.
Or I didn’t until now. The cougars, as they’re known, don’t care.
I sometimes wonder if they start the rumors themselves to make them feel better about getting older.
Either way it has worked well for me, as much as that makes me feel like a little bit of an asshole.
I don’t do strings, but I’m human. I’d say we use each other.
No one is getting hurt, so what does it matter?
I’ve perfected the art of not feeling things.
Until now. Until Ever. And therein lies the fear.
The ethereal, haunted gray eyes always watching me, the innocent face, the delicate, graceful frame, the full pouty lips.
My body reacting to my train of thoughts makes my point for me.
I adjust myself in my joggers to relieve the strain of the fabric and absently rub the tattooed spot on my chest. It doesn’t help that Allie told me she’s heard Ever having nightmares.
I’m not supposed to know that. I’m supposed to be here helping her manage the house.
Which is a thin excuse at best. Ever is an adult—ish.
She can house-sit by herself for a few weeks.
For God’s sake, she’s moved here to this town where she knows no one except Allie to start over for some reason.
She can house-sit alone. Which means I better be good at selling why I’m here—which is not to babysit Ever.
I know her mom is largely absent from her life and that she lost her dad in the service when she was young.
Allie told me that. That might be why she’s having the nightmares; Allie didn’t elaborate if she does know.
No matter what this damaged girl is dealing with, catching feelings might mean a walk down memory lane for me.
Too many parallels. Summoning memories I’ve buried.
Memories I’ve worked hard to bury. I decide right there in the driveway.
No feelings. I rub the spot on my chest where my heart is supposed to be—the one that got ripped out three years ago.
I subconsciously rub the small tattoo there.
An outline of a heart, a reminder that mine isn’t there anymore, and why.
Nope, Julian, we’re not catching feelings, my man.
Business. It’s just business, and a favor to Allie because I owe her.
I take a deep breath. Then another. I swipe the back of my hand across my upper lip where beads of sweat form despite the chill in the air. I loosen my grip on the steering wheel and open the door.