Chapter 16
Julian
Ididn’t think I’d sleep. Not with this waifish beauty curled up on top of me.
Her scent alone intoxicates me. But when I wake up, I find her stretched out beside me, our bodies perfectly aligned.
Her hands splayed against my chest. I tighten my arms involuntarily, subconsciously wanting to keep her there forever.
It’s still dark, but I can tell the moment she wakes up.
Her heart rate speeds up, and the pulse in her wrists taps against my chest. My body betrays me, and my hips press into her. That’s when I feel her move.
She raises her head to look at me.
Adjusted to the darkness, I can see the outline of her face, the flutter of her lashes as she lifts her eyes to mine.
Her mouth so close I can feel her soft puffs of breath, sweet and warm on my throat.
I tilt my head down to align my lips perfectly with hers.
A fraction of an inch and our lips would fuse.
My tongue would caress the velvet of hers.
Her sigh is an unspoken invitation to do just that.
My fingers dig into her hips. She pushes hers forward to meet mine, innocently, involuntary.
Like she has no idea what she’s doing. I’m sure of it.
Or what she’s doing to me, which makes it even hotter.
There’s something more beautiful about someone who doesn’t know the allure they carry.
I need to taste her. Her lips are as soft as I imagined. Her tongue, velvet and sweet.
Shy at first, she keeps hers in her mouth. Then she seems to come alive. She slides her tongue into my mouth, then back out. I let her set the pace but match her stroke for stroke. Every brush confesses the ache we can’t hide.
“Julie,” she breathes.
“Yeah, Ever. I know.” Pressing my hips into hers, I pull back to look into her eyes, unfocused, a little crazed with desire.
“Mmm . . . please,” she whispers.
“Please what, Ever? Tell me.” My voice is hoarse with longing.
“Hmm.” Her half sigh, half moan is her only response.
I groan. “I know, sweet girl. Me too.” I don’t want to rush this.
I don’t want to rush her. I’m shaking with the force of my restraint.
This girl is perfect. Her lips. Her body.
The way it fits against mine. Like she was sent here just for me.
I don’t deserve her, but, god, I want to.
Let me have her, I pray to some god I’m not even sure exists.
Please let me have this one good thing. I will work to deserve her if you just let me have her.
I’ll protect her this time. Stuck in my head, I realize I’ve stopped moving, frozen with this feeling that I’ve stolen a piece of heaven that isn’t mine.
“Julian, don’t stop. Please. I want . . . mmm.” She trails off on a breathless sigh, grinding against me.
“Yes, Ever. Tell me what you want.” Bunching the hem of her T-shirt in my fingers, I push it up and graze her flat stomach.
With a low moan, I capture her lips and tongue again as my hand dances along her ribs until it meets her bra.
Her breast fills my hand as she arches into it.
My other hand slides up her thigh and stops where it meets the leg of her panties.
Sliding my hand under the delicate fabric, I wrap my palm around her naked hip and lift her leg to drape it over mine.
I want every inch of this girl right now.
It’s getting harder and harder to restrain myself.
I want to go slow, take my time, but I also know I don’t deserve the magic of this moment.
She’s beautiful, perfect even, and so, so sweet.
She tastes so goddamn good. I’m fighting to control myself.
“Tell me what you want, Ever. Say it,” I beg.
“You, Julie. Please. I want your hands . . . touch me.” Her lower half squirms with her request.
“Are you sure? Tell me to stop and I will.”
Grasping my wrist, she tugs it to the vee where her thighs meet.
It’s all I need. My green light. I couldn’t stop myself if I tried.
I pull the soft cotton of her panties to the side and feel her silky heat, wet and slippery already.
I circle the hard bud a few times, making her squirm more, while my other hand leaves her breast to snake around her and pull her tighter to me.
A tiny whine, like a plea, escapes her lips a second before I slide my finger into her.
My lips find the pulse at her neck and rain kisses on her heated skin.
The sound she makes spurs me on. Half cry, half moan.
I plunge a little farther, harder. In. Out.
Again and again while I suck on the sensitive spot behind her ear.
I could almost come just from this—her response to me.
My thumb makes slow circles above my finger that continues its rhythm in and out.
She grips my shoulders, digging her nails in and begins to shudder.
She’s going to come. The tension builds in her whole body.
Her leg muscles tense, her thighs tightening against my forearm.
Her stomach taut. She’s panting and swivels her head from side to side.
As she squeezes her eyes shut, a tear leaks from each corner.
My hand freezes, finger and thumb stilled.
She releases one of my shoulders and grips my wrist, pulling it against her, urging me to keep going. “Please, Julie,” she cries.
And I oblige. She is a captivating puddle in my hands.
As she comes undone before me, I watch as tear after tear slowly trails down her cheeks while she soaks my hand with her orgasm.
I don’t know what to make of the tears or my reaction to them.
She’s not upset or sad, just flooded. I use my lips to mop the trails on her cheeks.
Between kisses I whisper to her, not sure what I’m even saying.
I just want to savor this, her. “Easy, Ever. I got you.”
As she settles down, she curls into me like she can’t get close enough. Like she wants to crawl into my skin and be a part of me.
I move my hand from between her legs and wrap both arms around her.
Cradling her, I bring her as close to me as possible and wonder for a moment how I’ll release my pent-up tension.
I’ve never wanted to be inside someone as much as I do right now.
I ignore it the best I can, but my body’s reaction can’t be ignored. She must feel it too, being in my lap.
I know the moment she comes back to reality. She dips her head and nestles her face shyly into my neck. Taking my hand off the back of her neck, I graze my index finger up and down her cheek, coaxing her to look at me.
Beneath shuttered lashes, she peers up into my eyes and lowers her gaze with a half-smile.
“Hi,” I brush my finger down her cheek and lift her chin to kiss her lips softly.
“Hi,” she says softly.
“You’re beautiful,” I say to reassure her, and I mean it. I’ve never been more captivated.
“You’re beautiful,” she replies, and I feel her smile.
“Hmf.” My half laugh vibrates my chest. “Sweet girl, what are you doing to me?” Tightening my grip, I hug her before I release her, then race my hands up and down her back and pull her even closer as she softly giggles.
“Nothing yet. But I think I’d like to.”
With a deep groan, I roll her onto her back and nestle my body between her legs.
I can’t help but grind into her when her thighs part and rise to accommodate me and her long legs twine around me like a vise.
Again, I’m struck by the way our bodies meld, like we’re made to fit together.
“I’m all ears. Please tell me.” I kiss the corner of her lips.
“Tell me what you’d like to do to me,” I all but beg.
Shy again, she dips her head.
I use my hand to lift her chin and force her to meet my eyes.
Half closing her eyes in a last-ditch protest to facing me, she looks up from under her lashes again and gives me that half smile.
I begin to wonder if she’s teasing me, playing coy.
“I . . . I don’t . . . Would you show me . . .” she trails off.
I freeze. “Ever, have you never . . . Are you a virgin?”
She nods against me.
“Ahhh . . . Are you . . . Did I hurt you? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You didn’t ask.” Her reply is instant, though still timid. “And no, you didn’t.” Her fingernail traces the hollow heart tattoo on my chest as she adds, “In fact, I kind of liked it and can’t wait to do it again.”
My stomach flips at her words. The ice around my heart all but melted now. I reach my hands under her ass and squeeze playfully as I roll onto my back and take her with me so she’s straddling me.
She grinds into me, innocently I now know. Her body knows what it wants even if she’s never experienced it.
It’s almost my undoing. I pull her hips down to grind on me even more. I’ve never wanted anything or anyone more in my life. More like a need than a simple want, my desire almost painful.
“I want to make you feel how you make me feel,” she says earnestly.
“Ever girl, if you only knew.”
“Show me then,” she repeats.
And I do, because I’m selfish and I want her. And I’m going to have her. Even if I don’t deserve her.
As if the gods agree I don’t deserve her, the phone on her nightstand lights up and dings in that instance.
“Shit, I forgot to put it on do not disturb before I crashed.” She crawls off me and reaches for it.
I selfishly want to throw it across the room, but texts at two a.m. aren’t random. I’m sure she realizes that too. Deciding not to pout like an asshole, I put my arm behind my head and wait for her to read it.
Her face pales in the light of the screen as the phone slips from her hand and falls to the floor. Her hands cover her mouth, and she starts shaking her head from side to side.
I sit up and grasp her wrists, imploring her to look at me.
And she does. She turns that haunted gray stare on me and I feel my heart sink. Terror oozes from her pores. I press her into my chest with one arm and reach for the fallen phone with the other.
There’s no contact name on the text. Just a number.
Three texts in a row:
Evvie, I’m sorry.
Let me make it up to you.
I still think about you.
“What is this? Who is this?” When she just continues to press herself into my chest and say nothing, I lean back to try to look at her.
She curls her nails into my skin and looks up at me through her lashes but doesn’t answer.
“Hey. Tell me what’s going on. I’m here. I won’t let anyone hurt you. Talk to me.”