Chapter 29
Everly
It’s finally the night before camping season begins.
Lilly insists on celebrating tonight, before we get so busy “we won’t even be able to even go pee.
” That’s a direct quote. She invited herself to stay the night at Allie’s with me, after our pre-season bonfire at Brew.
Pete’s bonfire is flaming in the rock-lined fire pit.
His wife, Shelley, and their kids are roasting marshmallows.
Lilly and Noah’s little sisters hunch over their phones, heads huddled together, sitting two to a chair around the fire.
The glow dances off their faces as they trade tea back and forth.
I didn’t tell Lilly about my sleeping arrangement with Julian, but she knows we’re . . . something. I don’t hide that we’re interested in each other and neither does he. We just don’t make a habit of flaunting it with PDAs—especially at Fit.
That day over coffee, Julian and I agreed to sleep together—just sleep—and to take everything else slow—his suggestion.
And I must admit, I’ve never slept so soundly.
The waiting I solve by journaling. Abstinence seems to be the key to unlocking a creative streak.
Although I don’t get why we’re waiting, other than his desire to take it slow.
I can only imagine how Julian is dealing with waiting, but he seems perfectly fine with it and curiously relaxed after longer than normal showers right before bed.
Although I can’t confirm this and he wasn’t offering, I find it .
. . weirdly respectful, if not frustrating.
And it obviously does its intended job, because he gets into bed and spoons me, and besides nuzzling my neck and a soft kiss on my cheek, he doesn’t touch me.
On that first night of our arrangement, I waited for him to join me after his shower breathless with anticipation.
Then . . . nothing. I wanted to be disappointed—I was, if I’m being honest—but his restraint gave perfect book boyfriend energy, and frustration aside, I’m here for it.
Plus, I don’t really know what I’m missing .
. . yet. And I took my own edge off after I knew what to expect with his long showers.
Still, I wished it were his hands instead of mine.
With Lilly sleeping over, Julian offered to stay at his own place tonight.
He said he needs to be at Brew early tomorrow anyway, so it’s more convenient.
I suspect he’s just giving us space and friend time, because everything is more than ready for the first wave of the season.
Forget book boyfriend energy, it’s just perfect boyfriend energy.
And I know he’s not my boyfriend, but our little arrangement is sure channeling relationship vibes.
Lilly returns from the deck and hands me a Solo cup as she takes the seat next to me.
I take a tentative sip, knowing the last cup of liquid burned my throat from start to finish, but it gives me a warm, slightly numb feeling.
I haven’t felt anything like it since coming here and honestly wasn’t sure I ever would again, but Blue Lake and the people here feel safe.
So did the Oak Valley crew once.
I push that thought away and take a sip of the new cup.
It’s delicious and doesn’t burn like the first one.
Lilly’s “famous jungle juice” she calls it.
I can tell by how easy it goes down it’ll sneak up on me and put me on my ass.
I vow to pace myself. But letting things fall out of focus feels so good, like I’ve been juggling nonstop since I got here, and tonight I get permission to let the balls drop.
Julian watches me sip the new drink from across the bonfire.
The orange glow on his face makes him even more gorgeous, if that’s possible.
I ignore the concern in his eyes. I know he won’t bring it up in front of Pete and Shelley.
Hell, he even edits himself around Noah and Lilly.
But I know I won’t be able to ignore him for long.
“I’ve gotta pee,” I announce to Lilly as I stand up and set my drink on the wide arm of my Adirondack chair.
“Want me to go with?”
“No, no. You just got back. I’ll be quick.” I turn and head for the stairs and bathroom inside Brew.
Coming out of the Brew bathroom, I collide with Julian’s chest. Clasping my arms, he steadies me. I snake my arms around his neck intending to kiss him. My inhibitions disappear with the alcohol buzz along with my discretion, apparently. It doesn’t occur to me to check if anyone else is around.
It must occur to Julian though, because he reaches up and takes my hands off his neck and holds them in his. Never taking his eyes off me, he drops my hands to my sides, places his on either side of my face and brings my lips to his.
Maybe he’s not.
His kiss is soft, lingering. And when he pulls back, I lean into him, not wanting it to stop.
Instead of kissing me again though, he places his lips on my forehead and wraps his arms around me.
Tucking my head under his chin, he swings slowly side to side, once, twice.
Then he moves his hands to my shoulders and pulls back to look at me again.
“Be careful, Ever, okay? I like seeing you relax and have fun. Just be safe tonight. When I’m not there. Please?”
“Yeah, totally. Don’t worry.” I clench his soft heather-gray tee lightly in both my fists and rock them back and forth against his chest like pulling on suspenders. “Just letting off a little steam. But I’ll miss my spooning buddy tonight.”
His chuckle is more groan. “Careful what you wish for. Lilly may offer herself as tribute. Especially if she drinks enough jungle juice.”
“Ha, ha. Yeah, I think I’ll draw the line at letting her share half my bed.”
“Fair enough. I guess we better get back to the fire before they miss us.”
“Don’t you have to use the bathroom?”
“No, I came in here for you.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.” He turns to head toward the door, taking my hand to lace our fingers. As soon as we walk through the door to the deck, he squeezes my hand and releases it.
“Julie?” I stop just outside the Brew doors, so he does too.
“Ever?” He looks sideways at me and waits.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course. Anything.”
“I’m just wondering what your definition of slow is. Because to me it’s landing like a hard stop instead of slow progression. And really my question is, what are you waiting for?”
Groaning, he faces me and places his hands on my shoulders and squeezes lightly. “Smart, sassy girl, you don’t fight fair.”
“Are we fighting?” I arch my eyebrow in challenge.
With a chuckle and another little squeeze of my shoulders, he drops his hands, letting the one closest to me slide down my back to my ass.
The rub pat thing he does heats me more thoroughly than any fire could.
It makes saliva gather in my mouth. His touch sparks a flame in my lower region that has me fighting the urge to squirm as we walk.
When he doesn’t speak but keeps moving toward the others, I stop.
He takes a couple more steps before he realizes I’m not keeping pace.
Sighing audibly, he faces me and says, “I guess I just want to make sure I’m being respectful of our situation. We were kinda thrown together to help Allie and . . . I don’t want to . . . I don’t know . . . take advantage. And maybe we should have this conversation when you’re not drinking.”
I place my hands on my hips and face him squarely as I consider his words. “First, I’m not drunk. I’m happily buzzed and very much in control of my faculties.”
“Hmf.” The corner of his mouth tilts up as he sighs and nods at me, but he stays silent, waiting for me to continue.
“Second, and I want you to hear me on this. You are probably the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
I’ve never felt more myself than when I’m with you.
If you’re worried about my innocence, don’t.
” I spread my hands wide, palms up. “I’m a big girl.
And honestly, I’ve been patient. I wasn’t one of those girls that hooked up with randos for the sake of the experience.
I’ve finally met someone who makes me want to .
. . I don’t know . . . be less innocent.
” I look down at my feet after that confession, feeling a little exposed and surprised by my own frankness.
Maybe the buzz is making me bolder because I add, “And I just don’t understand why we stopped. ”
Julian’s footsteps thud before his shoes come into my line of vision. His fingertips under my chin draw my gaze up to his. “Is there a third?” His face is so close I feel his breath on my lips, making mine part in anticipation, invitation.
I barely swivel my head side to side to say no.
“You done?”
I nod, his fingers still under my chin.
He’s nodding too, mirroring me. “Good.” His lips touch mine, softly at first as his hands rush along my cheeks and into my hair, curling around the back of my neck. Pulling me to him, he deepens the kiss, lifting me onto my toes.
I twine my arms around his neck as his slide down to grasp my thighs under my ass and pick me up. I wrap my legs around him, molding my torso to his.
He rains kisses along my jaw, neck and behind my ear.
His breath rushes against my ear, sending flutters to my belly and lower.
His arms snug around my back, hugging me tightly.
His voice is a heated whisper. “I want you, Everly. So much. More than I’ve ever wanted anything.
” He kisses the spot in front of my ear before he continues.
“How could I not? Don’t ever think I don’t.
I just want it to be . . . special. For you.
” With a squeezing hug, he sets me on my feet, plants small kisses on my lips, slips my hair behind my ears and draws lazy circles around the shells.
I nod, breathless, resting my forehead on his.
“C’mon, before they miss us.” He clasps my hand and tugs me toward the group.