Chapter 14-Kenya
“Why do you have a big ass closet and always need my help to get dressed?” Sydney said as soon as I opened the door for her.
“Well, hello to you, Sydney,” I joked.
I moved to the side so that she could come in. Devon’s vague date plans left me paralyzed with an apprehensive dread. Before I called Sydney, I frantically searched my closet for something, anything, to appease an unknown expectation and his coveted plans. When it came down to it, I needed help.
“I am going to send you a bill for my styling services. You will have thirty days from the invoice date to pay me too, or legal action will be taken.”
Shaking my head, I followed her up to my room.
She walked into my closet, sat down on the chaise lounge that was in the middle of the room, kicked off her shoes, and stretched out. She had her bare feet propped up on my furniture, which she knew I hated. I gently knocked them down to the floor where they belonged and took a seat next to her.
“I’m over here giving you complimentary stylist services, that I’d charge anybody else for, and I can’t even put my feet up on your little couch?” she asked as if she was indeed shocked. “Oh, you bougie bougie .”
“First, it’s a chaise. Second, feet belong on the floor. Third, you grew up bougie just like I did, so don’t be the pot calling the kettle black.”
“Don’t bring up my past,” she said, causing us both to laugh. “But tell me, where is your computer love taking you today? I need to know exactly what we are working with.”
“I don’t know. He hasn’t told me. He just said to dress comfortably and be ready to have fun.”
“Comfortable and fun. Okay, show me what you are thinking about wearing.”
I walked to one shelf along my closet wall and pulled out the cute cream, ruffled blouse, taupe pencil skirt, and a pair of nude pumps.
“I was thinking about wearing this,” I said proudly.
“Kenya, what part of this outfit says casual ?” she questioned, as she stood up and placed her right hand on her hip. “It’s obvious your idea of fun is based on courtroom behavior.”
“I know what fun is, Sydney. What’s wrong with what I have picked out?” I asked, truly confused because not only was the outfit functional, but it was cute. Maybe it was a bit much, but I didn’t expect her reaction to be so intense.
“Lord Jesus!” she said and dramatically threw her hands in the air.
“I’m going to pray for you. We don’t have time to discuss the many ways that outfit is not casual, though.
What if the man is trying to take you to play mini golf or something?
How are you going to play in that ? I’m glad I brought you something. Let me go to my car and get it.”
She walked out of my closet, and I waited patiently, twiddling my thumbs for her to return with two garment bags and two boxes of shoes that were stuffed inside of a suitcase.
“Okay, I have two casual outfits picked out for you. I will let you have a say in the choice since I already know both of them are fire.”
“I still don’t see what was wrong with my outfit.”
“And that’s the problem. Now here,” she said, handing me the bags.
I hung them up so I could see what she had inside that was supposedly better than my outfit of choice.
“Jeans?” I questioned when I saw the first outfit she had for me.
In the first garment bag were a pair of high-waisted, slightly distressed jeans, a camouflage cargo jacket, and a crop top. I walked over to the second bag, opened it, and revealed a pair of black jeans, a black fitted tank, and a distressed denim jean jacket.
“Yes, jeans. These outfits are both casual, comfortable, and cute. I have the matching sneakers in these boxes.”
“Sneakers? I don’t even own a pair of sneakers.”
“Exactly. Now, go put this one on. This is my favorite, and the sneakers are fire.”
She handed me the first garment bag that I opened and shooed me away with both hands so that I could go change.
Once I had the outfit on, I had to admit it was cute, but it definitely wasn’t something I would have picked out for myself. I walked out to show Sydney how the outfit looked on me.
“That looks just as good on you as I thought it would. I don’t even have to see you in the second outfit. I’ll let you keep it, though. You know, just in case he takes you on another casual date.”
She handed me the pair of lime green sneakers that complemented the outfit perfectly and instructed me to put them on.
“Sydney, I don’t know about this. I look so … so … so—”
“You look so what? Don’t come for my styling skills.
You look cute. You’re just not used to dressing casually.
Come to think of it, this is probably the first time since we were in high school that I’ve seen you in sneakers.
You need to break out of your box, especially when it comes to your style. ”
“I get the comfort aspect, but I don’t wear them and honestly, a pair of heels and pumps are just as comfortable to me.”
“I hear you and I get that, but why not be more diverse with it.”
“I don’t know. I just feel more comfortable in a suit, and I work so much that a suit is just my go-to style.”
“There is nothing wrong with change,” she said as she flipped her flaming orange tresses over her shoulder. The hairstyle was new, but it looked great on her.
Sydney was what some would call a stallion . She was taller than the average female, like me, and although I was a little smaller, we were both thick in all the right places.
A lot of people questioned how we could remain friends over the years, because it seemed like we were night and day, but we understood each other.
I looked up to Sydney in so many ways, mainly because of how she unapologetically owned who she was as a woman.
Sydney was a whole vibe, and I was proud to call her my best friend.
My goal was to always be the woman my parents, primarily my mother, wanted me to be.
I was an excellent attorney, but I only became an attorney because I thought it would make her proud of me.
I was wrong because she didn’t even bother to attend my graduation ceremony.
Fancy was there with the rest of my family, front and center, while my mother was at home, having time to herself.
“You’re right,” I said as I stared at my reflection in the mirror.
“You look really cute, boo. Now, I know you’re really feeling him.”
“What makes you say that?” I asked her as I turned around and waited for her answer.
“This man has you wearing jeans and sneakers. Enough said, and you know I’m here for it.”
“You have a point, and yes, I do like him. Can I be completely honest with you?”
“Of course, you can. You shouldn’t even have to ask, girl.” She stilled herself, giving me her full attention. “Tell me.”
“I wonder if I like him for the mere fact that he’s so different.
I can’t help but ask myself if I am only attracted to Devon because he is nothing like the men I have previously dated.
Yes, I enjoy my time with him, and I appreciate how out of the norm he is to me and for me, but what if it’s nothing more than that?
What if my attraction to him is nothing more than his being a shock to my system? I don’t even know if I’m making sense.”
I rubbed my temples as I processed everything I’d just said. This was the first time the words had left my mouth, and I already felt better. Just by me getting them out of my mind, a weight was lifted.
These feelings were foreign to me because I’d never dated out of my comfort zone.
“Listen, I know you want a husband and a family, and I can’t say if Devon is the man to give you those things.
What I can say is, you can’t let your desire to have kids rule your love life or weigh so heavily on who you find happiness with.
You also need to know that love doesn’t always look how you want it to, and I don’t want you to miss your blessing because you’re so in your head about this man being a little more thuggish than what you’re used to. Be patient and trust the process.”
“That’s easy for you to say, when you have a husband at home waiting for you.”
“Marriage does not mean perfection, and it doesn’t equate to happiness.
Just because I am married doesn’t mean my life is great.
My life is great, but I was content before I met Curtis,” she said and shrugged like her marriage wasn’t the core of her life.
“Being married brings another set of problems you don’t have to deal with as a single woman.
Don’t get me wrong, because I love my husband, but being single was less complicated.
Enjoy where you are at this stage of your life.
If Devon is the one, God will work it out.
If y’all are meant to have babies together, God will work that out too.
Get out of your head and live your life for once.
Don’t ruin something that could be great before y’all even get started. ”
“I just want those things.”
“Why? Because Kendra has them?” Sydney asked, which caused me to shake my head in disagreement.
“Let me just say, everything that glitters ain’t gold.
You know Kendra better than I do, but we all know Ivan has strayed.
Hell, he probably still does. You don’t want to deal with lying and cheating, just to say you have a man.
Marriage is more than the ring on your finger.
It should represent a commitment between two people who are dedicated to one another. ”
Sydney did have a point, because Kendra and Ivan had experienced a few cheating scandals at the beginning of their marriage. However, she was able to forgive and forget. I didn’t know if he was faithful now, but I could at least say they seemed happier.
“I see where you are coming from. I don’t want to settle for anything, just because I am ready to have a family.”
“Tell me something I don’t know. You will have a family, and when it happens, you will be a great wife and an amazing mother. Now, hurry up so I can finish getting you together for your date.”