Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
HANNAH
My mother’s surgery was scheduled for tomorrow, and we were both happy to get that tumor out of her, even if it meant losing the kidney. It was the final step in her cancer-free plan. Then we could move to targeted radiation and stop the chemo.
Tonight was the worship concert at Willow Harbor Community Church and I was excited. I felt like, with putting all of my time in to running the restaurant and helping my mom get to her appointments, I had been neglecting my relationship with God. I always felt the Holy Spirit when I sang with the worship team. So this would be a good way to connect with Him.
Jack had texted me a simple, “ Good luck”, which was sweet, but I couldn’t help but wish he had come. It felt like something special was possibly brewing between us, and I’d really put myself out there, asking him to come. Normally, I wouldn’t even entertain thinking about dating a guy who didn’t have a relationship with Christ, but something about Jack felt special.
It also felt like he was hiding something. Okay, he was definitely hiding something. He had some dark past or deep hurt and I wanted to pry it out of him so that I could help him.
“Pray for my soul, Hannah.” Those words still haunted me. The way he’d said it wasn’t in a mocking way; he’d said it as a plea. Like he really felt his soul was in jeopardy.
I sighed. Jack was a bit of a mess, yet my thoughts kept drifting towards him. His mother had been murdered and that must have been the sadness I detected in his eyes, but what about me praying for his soul? That was something else. Jack was a mystery to me.
“Oh, honey, you look beautiful.” My mom came up behind me as I put the finishing touches on my makeup.
“Aww, thanks, Mama. How you feeling?”
She had some color in her cheeks, and she was wearing her favorite sunflower headscarf. Seeing my mother without any hair, including eyebrows and lashes, had been a shock, but not as shocking as the weight loss. Seeing a healthy, athletic woman shrink to skin and bones within three months scared the life out of me. Even now, she looked…frail.
“I’m excited to get this thing cut out of me.” She made a snipping motion at her abdomen. She couldn’t eat past ten tonight, which was probably when we’d get home from the concert.
“Me too, Mom. Next step, cancer-free,” I said.
She nodded. “God willing.”
I frowned. “He is willing and able. So next step, cancer-free.”
She chuckled a little, and for the first time, I wondered if my mother’s cancer battle had shaken her faith. Bad things happened to good people in this world. Which was to be expected in a realm that was ruled by Satan. I think people skipped over or forgot that part of the Bible. The part that said Lucifer was the ruler of earth. The Bible tells us that as Christians we will be persecuted and have hard lives, but we mustn’t lose faith and we should draw nearer to God during hard times, not farther away.
“Mom, you know God will heal you from this, right?” I asked her.
Her eyes filled with tears then, and she chewed her bottom lip. I knew my mother. She was always trying to say strong for me, but I could see it in her eyes. She wasn’t sure God meant for her to heal from this.
“Mom?” My heart pinched, and I stepped forward.
A tear slipped free from her eyes and she batted it away. “If I’m being honest, I feel a little abandoned by God, honey. So you might have to have enough faith for the both of us today.”
My heart fell, and now my eyes were tearing up. I appreciated her being vulnerable with me, but now I was scared. I didn’t want my sweet mama feeling abandoned by God.
“I will, then. I’ll have enough faith for the both of us.” I pulled her into a hug and we held on to each other longer than we normally would.
One of my favorite bible verses came to mind then, and I muttered it into her ear.
“‘For I know the plansI have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosperyou and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future,’” I whispered, and she broke into a little sob. “You got this, Mom. We are almost at the finish line. Just hold on,” I begged.
She nodded against my shoulder, and when we broke apart, she smiled at me while wiping away tears.
“Any time I question if I was a good enough parent or not, I just sit back and watch you be such an amazing person and I think…I did a dang good job,” she said.
I grinned. “You most certainly did. Best mom in the world, according to the mug I got you in third grade.”
She laughed, and the sound filled up the entire room. I’d missed that sound lately.
She took a deep breath. “I’m feeling better and ready to worship.”
That was good because I knew how powerful these worship nights could be, and I wanted her to get something from it. Healing, a strengthening of faith, whatever it might be.
I looked into the mirror one last time, running my hands over my long, blonde hair, which I’d curled into loose ringlets. I eyed the red dress that hugged my figure but was still church appropriate and smiled. This dress was special. I’d bought it from Willow Harbor Boutique with my first big paycheck from Hannah’s. A splurge I wouldn’t have normally been able to afford. It had a bohemian flare but was still form fitting and feminine.
At that moment, one thought popped into my mind.
I wish Jack could see me in this dress.
When I arrived at church, I gave hugs to everyone on the worship team. One of my best friends, Jules, held me extra tightly.
“I never see you anymore,” Jules said. She was the worship team leader and had such an anointed voice that I often cried when I heard her sing.
The entire town would be at this concert tonight, Christian or not, because Jules was singing. Three years ago, she’d gotten an offer from a big record label, but they’d wanted her to move out to Los Angeles and sing pop music, not gospel, so she declined and stayed in Willow Harbor. I respected her so much for that.
“I know. I’m sorry. Come by the restaurant. I’m always working,” I told her as we pulled back.
She nodded. “I know. I see your car every time I drive by.”
Jules was the same age as me, with long brown hair and wide green eyes. We normally hung out every single weekend, but since my mom’s diagnosis, I’d just stayed home.
I shrugged. “Doing my best all things considering,” I told her.
She frowned and nodded. Jules had lost her grandmother to cancer, so I knew that being around my mom brought back memories. Bad ones. She’d offered to come over, but it seemed weird to saddle my young friends with this heavy task.
“I want to come see your mom. It’s been weeks,” she said.
More like months, but I nodded. Our friendship was in a funk. Nothing that couldn’t be fixed, but I didn’t think either of us had the time right now.
“Maybe you can stop by after she gets home her from surgery,” I told Jules.
She nodded. “I’d like that.”
My heart softened for my friend, and I wondered if I’d been pushing her away unintentionally.
“She’s here tonight. You can say hi after,” I added.
Jules’s mouth popped into a ring of surprise. I furrowed my brow, confused at her expression, when a familiar voice washed over me.
“Hannah?” Luke’s deep, husky baritone called over my shoulder, and my eyes went wide.
I would have known that voice anywhere, no matter how many years had passed.
Jules gave me an apologetic look, and then I spun to come face-to-face with my high school sweetheart.
“Luke!” I exclaimed, unable to hide the shock from my voice. “You’re in town.”
He nodded and then peered at Jules and the rest of the worship team. “Hey everyone.”
Jules, Mikey, Zachary, and Nadine all shouted their greetings. We had all grown up together, so everyone knew Luke Halston. And everyone knew our history.
“We will meet you on stage for prayer right before. You got five minutes,” Jules said to me.
And then, before I could think up an excuse not to be alone with the man who’d ripped out my heart, they left, keeping the door propped open.
I should have been warming up my voice, not dealing with this.
“I saw the flyers in town. Couldn’t resist a Willow Harbor worship night,” Luke said, but his eyes were roaming over me like there was something else he couldn’t resist.
Images flashed into my mind. Unbidden, seventeen-year-old Luke and me holding hands as we sang our hearts out to the worship songs we’d grown up with. We’d broken up five years ago, and sometimes it still felt like yesterday. The sting of his words floated back to me now.
“ You don’t have any ambition. I want to be with someone who has a plan for the future.” At eighteen, he was going off to veterinary school in Texas and I was…planless. Waitressing, singing at church. Did everyone need a five-year plan at seventeen or eighteen years old? They did if they wanted to be with Luke Halston. I had dreams, like maybe opening a shop downtown or taking some classes at the community college, but no big step-by-step plan.
“Well, you’re here.” I shrugged.
Two years ago, he’d sent an apology email. It was long and sweet, but I was still hurt. I’d forgiven, but not forgotten.
He nodded. “And my mom told me some wealthy benefactor bought Vinnie’s and gave it to you? I didn’t believe it until I drove past the sign with your name on it an hour ago.” He grinned. “That’s incredible, Hannah.”
Wealthy benefactor. Yeah, I guessed that’s what Jack was.
“Yeah, it’s been a crazy year. Hey, I should start warming up.” I looked at the propped-open door. Seeing Luke was more painful than I’d thought it would be after all this time.
He’d come back for holidays over the years, and I’d expertly avoided him. His sandy-blond hair still swooped in front of his bright blue eyes, and for a crazy moment, I wanted to brush it back with my fingers like I used to. I needed to get out of here. Luke Halston was my kryptonite.
“Hannah, I…” Luke took a steadying breath and then stepped closer to me. “I want to be frank with you about something so that neither of us are guessing at anything.”
My stomach bottomed out. “Okay?”
“I’m moving back to town. I’m opening a vet clinic, and I intend to win you back,” he declared.
And it was like all the oxygen had been sucked from the room.
“Seventeen-year-old Luke Halston was an idiot. I wanted a five-year plan and what I didn’t realize was you should have been that plan. You’re the girl that got away, and if you let me back into your heart, I’ll never take your love for granted again.”
Whoa.
He took another step closer and pulled a bundle of flowers from behind his back. I hadn’t even realized he’d been holding them there.
“Hannah, I’ve grown up. I’ve matured and dated a few other women. None of them hold a candle to you. To us. I want you back, and I’ll do whatever it takes to earn your heart again.”
I was having an out-of-body experience. It was every single word I’d ever wanted him to say. I’d literally dreamed of this conversation for years. And yet…in that moment, I thought of Jack .
Jack telling me that being a billionaire was lonely. Jack asking me to pray for his soul. Jack designing an entire app to keep me distracted from my mom’s tests.
Jack. Jack. Jack.
My heart practically thumped with his name.
“Have coffee with me?” Luke asked sweetly. “That’s all I’m asking.”
Coffee after all this time might be nice. I had no idea what twenty-three-year-old Luke was like, and it was time I stopped avoiding him. Especially if he was moving back to town.
“I’d like that.” I smiled, but it was almost as if the Lord Himself was pushing Jack into my mind because he weighed on my heart again in that moment.
I wished he had come and not Luke, but I didn’t have time to dwell on it. The concert was about to begin.