8. Seth
“Brady!” I shout as I come barreling into our garage apartment, an ear-splitting grin on my face.
“What set your ass on fire?” he grumbles as he comes strolling out of his room. “Did you get the house?”
“Maybe. I put in an offer on it immediately,” I respond robotically, my mind racing through everything that’s happened over the last few hours.
Connor mentioned in passing one day that Audrey had moved out of her rental home a few blocks away from him and that I should look at if I was looking for some place to stay. I went to see one of the two realtors in town the same day, booking an appointment to view the house. It’s a lot bigger than I’d need for myself, but it’s the perfect place to live with a family. I had just left the realtor’s office when I ran into Bristol and her friends in front of Just the Drip.
It was a lot easier to convince Bristol to have dinner with me than I imagined, although I think that has more to do with her friends than her desire to see me. Either way, everything seems to be falling into place exactly how I imagined it would.
“That’s good, man. Fingers crossed for you.” Brady grins as he drops down on the couch.
“Thanks,” I bark over my shoulder as I head for the kitchen. “But you need to get out now. Better yet, stay gone until tomorrow, just in case.”
Bristol promised to spend time with me tonight, and I’ll be damned if I have Brady or anyone else around to distract her. I have been dreaming of this night since we said goodbye to each other on my last morning in Tyson’s Creek over a year ago. I need to ensure that everything is perfect.
“I don’t want to go,” I groan as I grab Bristol’s hands and bring them to my mouth, brushing a gentle kiss on her knuckles. “I know this seems insane, Bristol, but I can see myself spending the rest of my life with you.”
The sun is barely touching the horizon as Bristol and I stand at the end of her driveway. I continue to search for the right words to explain how spending last night with her changed my world. I gave her a part of myself that I’ve never given anyone else. I know it’s fast, but I don’t care. The idea of getting into my car and never seeing her again makes my heart ache. My mind races, searching for a way to prolong our time together, but I’m shipping out on deployment in two weeks.
I want more time to show her how good we are together. I want to take her on dates and be seen in public with our friends. I want to be with her, to be the one she comes home to after a long day of work. The person she shares her burdens with when she’s having a rough time. At the moment, I’m none of those things. But I only need the chance to prove that she means everything to me.
“You have to go, or you’ll end up in jail.”
“I have two more weeks until I ship out. We could spend some time together for real this time. It will give us a chance to see…” I begin, but she places her fingertips on my lips, cutting me off.
“I told you this was a onetime thing. I can’t be in a relationship with you, Seth. Tonight is all we can have.”
I rest my forehead against hers. “I think I love you.”
“Don’t say that,” she murmurs.
“Why not? It’s true,” I reply with conviction, trying to pour every emotion I’m feeling into my words.
“It can’t be true. It can’t.” She tries to pull away from me, but I tug her hands slightly, causing her to lose her balance and fall into my chest.
“I can see spending the rest of my life with you, worshipping you.” Tears spring to my eyes as I bury my nose in her neck, clinging to her body like it’s an anchor holding both of us together.
“Seth, don’t make this harder than it needs to be. Please.” Her voice breaks slightly.
I wrap my arms around her and bury my nose in her hair, hoping to commit her smell to memory so I never forget this moment while I’m away. “I meant every word, Bristol. I understand how you feel about being with a man in the military, and I respect that, but why are you doing this to us? I know it has to be something more than the fact I’m in the military.”
“I can’t do this again, Seth. My dad…” Her voice cracks slightly. “He always made promises he couldn’t keep. Hell, after a while, he stopped trying, and it broke me. I refuse to feel pain like that ever again.”
“I’m not your father,” I whisper.
A lone tear trickles down her cheek, and I release her waist and catch the next one as it falls, brushing my index finger under her eye.
“I just need you to hold on and believe in me. Believe that I’ll come back to you.”
I pull back slightly and stare into her eyes. Those emerald-green depths swirl with uncertainty and doubt, but also hope, and she sobs as she steps out of my embrace.
“You can’t promise that, Seth. You’re going to war. You could be killed, left behind, or taken by the enemy. There are so many things that can happen to you, things out of your control. You can’t promise me you’ll come home no matter how much both of us may want you to.
“Every time someone in uniform walked past our front yard, my sister and I would hold our breath, tears filling our eyes as we waited to see if they’d turn and head up our driveway toward the front door. Thankfully, they never did, but then we’d feel sick to our stomachs for being glad that someone else was getting the news we were dreading. That he was knocking on someone else’s door instead of ours, ruining their lives forever with the news their loved one wasn’t coming home.”
Bristol covers her mouth with both hands, trying to hold back the sobs wracking her body, her head swinging back and forth as she tries to regain some of her composure. “I can’t live like that again, Seth. I won’t.”
Everything else fades into the background as she continues to back away from me, but I follow her movements. My mind races, trying to find some way to help her understand how badly this is hurting me, too, but she holds up her hand and freezes. I watch as she wraps her arms around her waist, as if trying to hold the pieces of her soul together. As if she’s gathering the strength she needs to walk away from me. From us.
“You’re right, I can’t promise you that, but what I can do is tell you I’ll do everything in my power to come back to you.” I clench my fist at my side as my own eyes fill with tears. “This isn’t the end, Bristol. Not by a long shot.”
Bitterness courses through my veins that fate could be so cruel. That it’d allow this angel to light up my entire world before ripping us apart and plunging me back into darkness. I have a duty to my country. We both know that, but that isn’t enough anymore. Why couldn’t we have met when we were younger, when we had all the freedom in the world to be together? I don’t doubt fate played a part in pushing us together, but I only wish it would have been sooner.
Bristol finally gets her emotions under control and steps closer to me, grasping my hand. She gently pries my fingers open on my right hand and presses a small piece of paper into my palm.
“Please be careful.” She gives me a watery smile before closing my hand around the piece of paper, turning around, and walking toward the end of the driveway.
I clutch that piece of paper in my hand. “This isn’t the end, Bristol. You and I are meant to be together,” I call after her, but she doesn’t turn around.
I’m glad she doesn’t, or my entire world would crumble around me.
“Earth to Seth.” Brady snaps his fingers in front of my face, bringing my mind back to the present. “Care to explain to me why I need to leave my own house?”
“Bristol.” I don’t even bother to explain further as I go back to rummaging in our fridge.
“Holy shit.” Brady gasps as if someone has knocked the wind out of his sail. “Anything you need from me? Other than getting lost for the night?”
I give up on finding anything edible in this fridge besides beer and some protein shakes—the perks of having our own personal chef downstairs. Not that we force Mrs. Thomas to cook for us every night, but it is nice to have a home-cooked meal to come home to.
Now I can look forward to that with Bristol.
I shake my head and chastise my inner voice. She only agreed to have dinner with me. Really, she didn’t even agree to it. Her friends accepted on her behalf. She could have come up with an excuse to refuse, but she didn’t. I can’t stop myself from hoping that she still feels the spark between us. I know that I’m going to have my work cut out for me trying to win her heart, but at least there’s hope. All I need to do is make it through tonight.
“No, nothing that I can think of. I’m gonna head to the store and figure out what I can cook for her.” I grab two beers out of the fridge before slamming the door shut and offering him one.
“Sounds like a plan. You know, you could always ask Mama for help. She would be over the moon.” Brady pulls the beer out of my hand and leans up against the counter.
“I know she would, but I want to cook for her myself.” I’m a little rusty, but I know the basics. I can come up with something.
“You’ve got this, man.” Brady taps the neck of his bottle against mine before pushing off the counter. “Well, I guess I should shower and find something to do since you’re kicking me out.”
“You should call Emersyn and apologize for being a jerk last night.”
Brady’s entire demeanor changes. “Just leave it alone, man. Emersyn is a big girl. She’s just fine. I don’t need to run over there and apologize for being myself.”
“What’s going on, man?” I ask, taking a healthy pull from my beer before placing the bottle on the counter.
“Nothing,” he growls as he tries to leave the kitchen, but I grab his arm.
“That doesn’t sound like nothing, Brady.”
“It’s complicated, and to be honest, I don’t even know what’s going on myself.” His shoulders slump in defeat.
This isn’t my friend. I can tell that there’s more to this story than he’s willing to share, but I can’t force him. Brady has always been such an easy-going guy. No one ever has a bad thing to say about him, and he damn sure never loses his temper, but there’s something about Emersyn that pushes all his buttons.
“Just know I’m here if you need someone to talk to, all right?” I grumble.
I’m not the guy who usually discusses his emotions. Unless it’s about Bristol. There’s no way I could hide my feelings for her, even if I wanted to. When it comes to her, I’m an open book. But this is the last thing I want to be discussing right now. Brady needs to confide in someone, though, so I’m willing to listen if he needs me to.
“Thanks.” He gives me a tight smile before continuing out of the kitchen. “I’ll be out of your hair in thirty minutes.” He turns and heads down the hallway, back to his room. A few moments later, I hear the shower turn on.
Reassured that he will be on his way out soon, I grab a piece of paper and a pencil out of a drawer to make a list. I don’t have a huge repertoire of things I can cook, but I make a mean lasagna. I write all the ingredients down on the list, adding wine and beer, before shoving it into my pocket and walking out the door.
There’s only one grocery store in Tyson’s Creek, and thankfully, they have everything I need. After grabbing all the ingredients, I head right back to my apartment. As I pull into the driveway, I notice Brady’s Jeep is gone.
Mrs. Thomas comes out of the front door, holding something. “I was just going to leave this in the apartment for you two. I know how much you love my apple pie.”
I give her a bright smile before taking the dish from her hands. “We sure do. Thank you.”
“Are you coming down for dinner tonight?” Mrs. Thomas asks.
I’m sure she knows someone is coming to visit me tonight. I just hope Brady didn’t let on who it was.
“No, thank you, Mrs. Thomas. I’m going to be having a friend over for dinner.”
“What did I tell you about calling me Mrs. Thomas?” she scolds as she pats my cheek. “Well, enjoy your evening. If you need anything, you know where to find us.”
“Yes, Mrs.—” I cut myself off. “I mean, Mama.”
“That’s a good boy.” She smiles in my direction before turning around and striding back inside.
Once I’m sure she is safely inside, I walk around the side of the garage and up the stairs, depositing the pie on the counter before walking back downstairs and grabbing the groceries. After a few trips, I get everything into the apartment and check the time. I have about three hours until I need to pick up Bristol. I’ll probably be cutting it close, but I have just enough time to get everything prepped, in the oven, and take a shower before it’s time to pick her up.
I scan the apartment, looking for anything out of place. Our apartment is small, but there’s more than enough space for two bachelors. We have a decent-sized living room with a small sectional pushed up against the outer wall and a sixty-inch TV mounted on the wall across from it, separating the living room from the kitchen. There’s a small table in the kitchen, enough space for Brady and me to eat, although we usually eat on the sofa if we even eat up here.
Once I’m sure there’s nothing out of place, I head into the only bathroom and stick my head inside. Brady did a good job of picking up. Not that we make much of a mess anyway. Satisfied with the state of the bathroom, I turn around and head back into the kitchen to start preparing the ingredients for dinner. My body moves on autopilot as I assemble everything to create the perfect lasagna and turn on the oven to preheat.
“I should have made sauce,” I grumble as I grab the jar of sauce and pour some along the bottom of the baking dish I found in the cabinet, before layering lasagna noodles, ricotta, and mozzarella cheese, the ground meat, and sauce on top of each other.
Once everything is arranged to perfection, I cover the dish with aluminum foil and shove it into the oven. Setting the time for forty minutes, I pace back and forth in front of the oven, willing the time to pass as quickly as possible. I’m getting antsy. All the nervous energy about being alone with Bristol comes bubbling to the surface, making it almost impossible for me to sit down.
“I need to get rid of some of this energy or it’s only going to get worse,” I mumble to myself as I turn toward the back of the apartment, heading directly into my bedroom.
Running has become second nature to me at this point. When I first joined the Marines, it was exercise. A way for me to remain in tip-top physical condition when I was on the battlefield. However, ever since I spent that one night with Bristol, it was my time alone. A time when I would let my mind remember what it was like to be with her and imagine what it would be like when I came back home to her as I promised.
Right now, it’s neither. I need to quiet my brain, and maybe the 3k that Brady and I mapped out when we first arrived is just the thing to do about it. Either way, I’ll have just enough time to shower, get the lasagna out of the oven, and head to pick up Bristol in town. After formulating my plan, I change into running shorts and a fresh shirt before walking back out the door.
Here’s hoping everything works out the way I planned. My happiness depends on it.