CHAPTER FOUR
JULIUS
I kick my shoes off as soon as I get through the door and into my room, the sight of the bathroom door a few feet away prompting me to move a little quicker so I can get in there and do my thing.
I know I could have stayed in London until university begins but just like last year I don’t see the point of that when there’s a Hockey rink right here inside the university that needs me several times a day and nothing in London comes close to that for me.
That’s my purpose in life and I work hard to fulfil it.
I’m not missing much in London anyway, just people acting like they suddenly have a personality transplant now that the sun is out, all smiles and laughs that I could do less of.
I preferred when it was cold.
I see nothing but benefits to being here anyway, it’s a lot easier skating around and getting some practice in when no one else is there. If all my practices could go like that, there wouldn’t be a single complaint from me about it. I trust myself and my skills the most and that’s all that matters.
I hear a door shut from above and a sense of gratitude comes over me that I haven’t seen much of my roommate in the two weeks I’ve been here. Every meeting and conversation we’ve had has been strange and disconcerting, and it’s not any better that her presence makes me feel the same way.
She’s a beautiful woman. I’ve seen many beautiful women but there’s something about the combination of her height, that pixie style hair and the way she looks at me with deep disdain.
But I’ve always been confident in my ability to put any distractions aside, and a tall woman who looks like she’s walking straight out of a 90s RnB music video isn’t going to change that.
I can at least admire that she’s like me in keeping to herself which is a good vibe for this house. There are still two other people who are going to move in at some point and I hope they understand the vibe very quickly and don’t try to do anything silly like start a friendship with me.
That’s not what I’m here for.
The music I put on in my room sounds out nicely in my ears as I use the scrub I have to rub the soap against my whole body, my thoughts moving to how this year of Hockey is going to go.
I’ve been playing the sport since I was a boy but the rules to play in the University Hockey League are specific.
Everyone has to complete their first year of university before they’re eligible which is why last year felt like a real turning point for me.
It was basically just Practice though, and this is the year where I’m finally doing it, which is why I’m not fucking around.
I can’t afford to let anything distract me or derail me from my goals.
But even if I ever get a little bit lazy, I know exactly what will pull me out of it.
There’s nothing like going back to what motivates me every single time.
I just need the rest of the team to be…not on my level because that’s impossible.
But close enough. We were all new last year which was probably the main reason for the amount of teething problems we had from the beginning.
But although the games were just friendly with neighbouring Universities, none of the guys can deny that a lot of the wins we had were down to me.
I’ll be the first to admit it anyway because I know I’m the best at what I do.
It’s why I was quickly made Captain last year, and why all the guys on the team respected me even though they knew I wasn’t exactly the friendliest person to be around.
My only plan is to keep it going this year and I have no doubt I can do that. I respect most of the guys on the team as well. I don’t need to be friends with them to admit that some do have potential. The ones who don’t, I’ll be bringing their names up to Coach Campbell when I next speak to him.
I dry off and head to my room to cream my skin, my phone lighting up as soon as I get clothes on.
“Yo, bro, guess what just happened?” my brother Demetrius’s voice comes through in a hurry.
“What?” I’m not even shocked about where this might be going because I’ve heard that opening line too many times from my brother at this point so I can’t say I wasn’t expecting it.
“You could at least pretend like you want to know.”
“Just go on, bro,” I say blandly.
He doesn’t hesitate before saying, “I got the lead role in that musical I was telling you about.”
“Oh, shit, you did?”
“Yeah! My first lead role, I can’t believe it.”
There’s a bit more emotion in my voice as I say, “That’s sick, for real. I’m happy for you, bro.”
I mean every word. He didn’t take the path of going to university like me, but he didn’t need to. Demetrius knew he wanted the get into Musical Theatre from when we were both kids, and he’s been doing everything he can to make it happen for himself.
Barely anyone starts out getting a lead role, so I can easily understand why, at eighteen, this is a big moment for him.
“Man, if I just met you for the first time I would think you’re taking the piss,” he says, putting my previous notion that I was displaying more emotion to rest. “How do you manage to sound miserable as fuck all the time without even trying? I’m genuinely curious at this point, bro. Does it get tiring?”
I can tell he’s trying to get a rise out of me, but we both know there’s one answer to his question.
But I know he won’t go there and neither will I.
“Wait…how did we go from us celebrating about your news to you cussing out my whole life?” I say.
“I’m not cussing out your whole life. I’m not saying you’re a miserable human being who would make a clown cry.” He pauses. “Well…you would probably make a clown cry. I’m just saying whenever you say something, which thankfully isn’t a lot, I try to put myself in your shoes and…”
“Don’t put yourself in my shoes, they’re too big.” My brother knows if this was anyone else, they wouldn’t be able to get to the end of their sentence. But it just doesn’t feel as insulting hearing these harsh words from someone whose bedding I use to put in the washing machine after he wet them.
“Fuck off, I told you I don’t have small feet,” he says, because that’s really all I have to do to get him back.
“I never said you have small feet.”
“Yeah, but you’re trying to act like you’re that guy just because you have bigger feet than me. It would be weird if you didn’t have bigger feet than me seeing as you’re the older brother.”
I shake my head. “There’s no way we’re arguing about this right now.”
“You started it, man.”
“How old are you, again?”
“Shut up, giant.” He’s only 6’2 to my 6’4, but I guess I’ll take the compliment. “How’s Wild, though?”
Who names a city Wild? It’s been bugging me since I applied for Wildern University.
“It’s —“ My attention suddenly draws to what sounds like tapping coming from above. It’s weird because I feel like I’ve been hearing it this whole time but I must have just tuned it out until now.
“You there?” Demetrius asks, and I realise I’ve been silently listening to the sound for a little while.
“Yeah, I’m here. Um, Wild is…pretty dead. No one’s really here right now, obviously.”
“Because it’s the students that make it busy.”
“Yeah, this part at least. Not complaining, though. I prefer it like this.”
“Oh, I know you do.” I feel him bracing to say something and when he finally comes out with, “By the way, Dad said he’s going to call you later. Do you see what I did there?” I’m glad I prepared myself.
“Bro, it doesn’t work when you do something and then say, “Do you see what I did there?” Let the person tell you that they saw what you did, you don’t have to be so heavy handed with it,” I say, hoping he just leaves it there. He hasn’t pushed me on this in a while now, and it better stay that way.
I quietly sigh when he changes the topic with, “It’s so funny when you give me advice.”
“Yeah, let’s just laugh at me,” I say.
“I do it everyday, already. But yeah, I guess I’ll tell Dad you’re busy. All the more lectures for me.”
There’s a pang of disappointment in his words, because I’m sure he hopes for a different response from me each time. And I wish I could give it, open myself up to lectures I haven’t had directed at me in years that were equal parts humorous and annoying but uniquely my dad.
The man loves to hear himself speak. Most of our conversations used to end in an hour long lecture about anything and everything, even when I’m doing everything right and he’s clearly proud of me.
I gave him an allowance because I respect him for being a great father and I knew he meant well, but he would really do well signing himself up to be a motivational speaker or something.
I think he’s earned it, he motivates me everyday and I haven’t even spoken to him in years.
But he has the natural personality for it, which is where he’s similar to both my mother and brother. My family’s cool and everything, but I don’t know how I ended up with these people who wouldn’t stop talking even if they were paid to because they just love to do it so much.
Things changed for me when I was sixteen because I had to stop being so sociable and it was worth it. But even when I was going to parties every weekend, I still didn’t say much or give much away about my feelings, I left that to everyone else around me.
My mum’s no different with the lectures, but hers either end in her trying to embarrass me in some form or another, or they turn into promises somehow on how she’ll wring me by my neck and make an example of me if she finds out I’ve been mistreating a woman in any way.
Well, she doesn’t have to worry about that.
No distractions this year.
“You’re not even listening to me, are you?”
I’m brought back to the present with his words, and I think back to everything I think I just heard him say.
“You said something about um…Savannah,” I guess. It helps when he brings her name up all the time.
“Yeah, I’m taking her out this weekend. Where do you think would be nice?”
“You’re asking me?”
“You’re right,” he says with a laugh. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”
I’ve done my fair share of dating, but I would only advise people to come to me for advice if they secretly don’t want things to work out. But knowing this to be a fact, my brother still comes to me.
“How well do you know her?” I ask.
“Who, Savannah? Pretty well, I would say.”
“Then you should know what she likes.” This is just one of the statements about dating I’ve had in my locker for a while. Should do the trick for what’s he’s concerned about. “Don’t just be generic with it when you’re taking her somewhere,” I finish and nod to myself. Sounds good.
“Make it special, huh?” Demetrius asks.
“Yeah.”
“I see. I see. I can do that.” There’s a pause but I know exactly what’s coming. “But when I think about it, a lot of things that are special cost money. And I’m not saying I want you to give me money or anything…but can you give me money, please?”
“What you gonna use it for?”
“The date with Savannah,” he says matter of factly.
“Which will be where?”
“Um…a restaurant.”
“What restaurant?”
“You know, that restaurant.”
“No, I don’t know that restaurant.”
I hear him shuffling around over the phone. “Bro, stop making me sweat, man. I actually am gonna use the money to take Savannah out, I just don’t know where yet. But obviously, when I know exactly how much I’m working with, I’ll know the levels I can take this to.”
“I’m quick to say,” Yeah, the funny thing is I know you have your own money.”
“Nah, I’m still shit at the saving thing, man.”
“You’re not, ‘cause I know dad lectures you about saving money all the time, and you would do it just so you don’t have to hear one of them again.
” I try to spend as limited time as possible in my family home, but when I am there, I’m often hearing these conversations between the two of them myself.
“Listen, the last one has to be the last one,” Demetrius says. “I’m starting to save out of spite.”
“Where’s your money, then,” I ask.
“Saved,” he says, before throwing out his customary, “Listen, I’ll pay you back if you want me to.”
“You already know I’m never gonna accept that,” I say and continue with, “And you already knew I was gonna send you money after this call anyway. You just like to act like the idea came from you.”
“This is why it’s not good when people know you.”
“Stop being so predictable and you won’t have to worry about it.”
“You seen Coach yet?” he asks, a familiar curiosity in his tone.
“Don’t think he’s here yet.”
“Hm.”
This time, I’m grateful when the tapping sound from upstairs registers in my ears again.
But that only lasts for a minute.
What the fuck is she doing up there?
She has no business doing anything that’s causing that noise to filter into my room, especially when she knows my room is directly below hers.
I regret having this viewing on a day that was as hot as it was. Everything I encountered that day was in the midst of a very poor attention span courtesy of the heat, which is exactly why I didn’t register quickly enough that I was choosing the room directly below hers.
I tried to put this place out of my mind for the next two weeks and the reality only fully hit me after the awkward conversation we had on the day I moved in which ended in her retreating to her room.
And me hearing every single footstep the took.
And then many other sounds after that.
I didn’t say anything then. Or the day after. Or the week after.
My patience is thin as it is, but even for me it’s too early to be making an enemy out of my roommates.
She has a couple more days of trying that shit, before I finally let her know my thoughts.
With this Scholarship, I wasn’t able to get a place by myself but I mourn the guy who would have been in my element in a situation like that. It’s not all that bad though. At least this house is just walking distance from the Hockey rink, and even all my lecture halls.
“I gotta go rehearse now.” Damn, I forgot this guy was talking again. “Good conversation as usual because as usual, I’m the one carrying it,” Demetrius says and fair enough. Can’t argue with that.
“I don’t want to steal your spotlight, you know that.”
“It’s a good thing you don’t talk much, because a lot of shit comes out of your mouth when you do.”
I break out into laughter. “Why do you keep starting on me?” I say through it.
“Sorry. In my head, we’re still kids.”
“It actually hurts, man.”
Now he’s the one who’s laughing. “Yeah, remember the point I just made.”
“Get off my line.”
We don’t take each other serious enough to get offended about any back and forth we have, but we always fall into line at the end, which is why he says, “Love you, bro.”
“Love you, too.”
That’s just one of the many things I appreciate about my family. I might be the more withdrawn one, but they’re always made me feel comfortable to show and receive the love we have for each other.