17. Don’t Go Falling in Love with Me
17
DON’T GO FALLING IN LOVE WITH ME
MAGGIE
Red Wine Supernova By Chappell Roan
T he morning sun pierces through the window of the trailer, a brutal assault on my senses. I groan, burying my face into the pillow—a pillow that smells like Felix. My eyes fly open, and I take in the room, the memories of last night flooding back. Fuck, I slept with Felix. Not just once, but over and over again. The ache between my legs is a testament to that.
I reach for my phone on the nightstand and see a few missed calls from Joey and one from my dad. Shit. I set the phone face down as the bedroom door creaks open, revealing Felix, two steaming cups of coffee in hand. His hair is a gorgeous mess. Why does he have to look so damn good in the morning?
I run a hand through my own hair, which feels more like a bird’s nest than anything else. I try to smooth it down, but it’s a lost cause. I’m sure I look like a hot mess, and fuck, my breath probably smells terrible. I take the mug from him gratefully, sitting up in bed and wincing at the movement.
“Good to see you’re finally awake. I thought I’d fucked you into a coma,” he teases, his blue eyes sparkling with that cocky attitude that made me fall into bed with him last night.
I narrow my eyes at him, and grumble into my coffee, the warmth of the mug a comfort against my palms.
“Someone’s not a morning person,” he observes, sliding back into bed beside me. I glare at him.
“You think?” I wince again as I lean over to set the mug next to my phone. Every movement is a reminder of last night, of his hands on my skin, his cock inside me.
“Something wrong?” Felix asks, a smirk playing at the corner of his lips. He knows exactly what’s wrong, the bastard.
“No,” I grit out, already contemplating how I’m going to put my clothes on and walk back to my bus. Shit. The girls will know I didn’t sleep on the bus last night.
I lean over the edge of the bed, snatching my shirt on the first dive. On the second, I find my bra. Down the hall, I spot my underwear near my shorts. I clip my bra and throw my shirt over my head, trying to be as graceful as possible. In my mind, I’m elegant as I attempt to slide out of bed to grab my panties and shorts, but I’m breaking out into a sweat at just the thought of putting them on.
“Do you need help?” Felix asks, and I can hear the hint of amusement in his tone.
“I got it,” I say, taking a step and sucking in a breath. I snatch up the remainder of my clothes and slip into the bathroom, locking the door behind me.
I look in the mirror and groan. “Oh God, why can’t I wake up looking cute like other girls?” I whisper, attempting to use the bathroom. “Ouch!” I clamp a hand over my mouth, the burn more than I can handle. Fucking Felix.
Jesus, that’s what got me into this mess. How am I going to do my job like this?
“Everything okay?” I hear Felix call from the other side of the door.
“All good!” I call back, slipping on my panties and shorts.
I attempt to walk out of the bathroom looking normal—as if that’s possible. Felix is leaning against the kitchen counter, the remnants of our midnight picnic still on the floor.
He smiles while I gather my things. He grabs my wrist, his thumb grazing the bracelet, and I soften, turning to rest my forehead against his chest. He kisses the top of my head and sighs. I breathe him in, and not only does he look good in the morning, he smells good, too.
“I have to get back to my bus,” I say, a little forlornly.
I don’t want this to be awkward, but it is. We did unspeakable things to each other last night. Things that should remain under the covers, not staring back at me with contemplative blue eyes in the light of day.
“Hey,” he says, still holding onto me and I don’t protest. “What is this, Maggie?”
I think about it for a moment. All the reasons I didn’t want to get involved with him in the first place are still relevant. If he knew that he really did fuck me so hard that I literally can’t walk straight, I will never hear the end of it.
“This is just fun, right?”
“Fun,” he repeats, as if mulling it over. His hands are warm on my back, his fingers tracing patterns on my skin.
“I mean, I’m only here temporarily,” I explain, and feel the heaviness between us so I try to lighten the mood. “So, don’t go falling in love with me, rockstar,” I tease, pressing my lips to his.
“Oh, I wouldn’t dream of it, Sass,” he murmurs against my mouth, his breath warm and inviting. But his eyes say something different, something that makes my heart race and my pussy ache all over again. This is going to be a problem.
* * *
When I step back onto my bus, the silence is a balm to my frayed nerves. The sound crew is probably at breakfast or setting up for the show, and I’m grateful for the solitude. I toss my bag onto the bed and gather my shower things. I shut the bathroom door behind me and video call Joey, her pixelated face popping up on the screen. The reception is horrible.
“Felix broke my vagina,” I blurt out.
“Is that Maggie? She’s in Virginia?” I hear my dad’s voice in the background.
No, no, no, this is not happening.
My dad’s face appears on the screen. “Hi dad.” I wave, plastering a big smile on my face. “Listen, I need to talk to Joey…”
The screen freezes, and my dad’s face is contorted before it snaps back to place.
“You don’t return my calls or texts,” he says with indignation. “I just want to know you’re still alive.”
“I’m just busy. You know me, always working.” I want to stab my eye with a pencil, swim in shark infested water, eat dirt—anything but this.
“Is that Maggie?” I hear my mom’s voice.
Oh God, this is getting worse.
“You look tired. What’s wrong?” she asks, resting her cheek against my dad’s shoulder so she can see.
“I’m fine, I just didn’t sleep good last night.” Because I was busy fucking a hot rockstar who might have broken my vagina. “You know, the bus is crowded, people snore, it’s a whole thing.” I wave them off and smile, but inside I’m dying a slow, miserable death.
“Who’s Felix?” my dad comes into full view, his eyebrows furrowed.
Shit.
“What?”
“You said something about Felix in Virginia?”
“Just the band. Filming. You know, work,” I say, waving him off.
Oh, God, put me out of my misery.
“Don’t you have to meet someone at the record store?” Joey interjects. “Something about a sign being delivered,” she says.
“Shit. I mean yeah,” he says. “Love you Maggs. Stay out of trouble.”
I glare at him, and then Joey’s face fills the screen.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were with Dad?” I hiss.
“You didn’t give me a chance! Who starts off a conversation by saying that their vagina is broken?” Joey whisper shouts into the phone and I can see she’s in one of the barn stalls.
“Obviously me, that’s who,” I say indignantly, and she dissolves into laughter. “I’m glad you find this funny,” I grumble, “but my vagina is on fire.” I gesture downwards, as if she can see the inferno raging between my legs. “It’s like sandpaper in there.”
“Let me remind you,” she says, still chuckling, “I called it. I knew you’d sleep with that boy.”
“I didn’t just sleep with him, Jo.” My voice is raw with the memory of his hands, his mouth, his cock. “We fucked like we were rabbits on Red Bull.”
Joey gets the giggles again, the phone shaking so much that her background blurs into a kaleidoscope of colors. “Will you stop laughing? This is serious. I need you to look at it.” I don’t give her time to protest, dropping my shorts and underwear, and shoving the phone between my legs, angling it to capture the damage.
“Oh my God, Maggie! I do not want to look at your vagina,” she yells.
“How am I gonna know if something’s wrong?” I bring the phone back up to my face to see Joey rubbing her eyes. “Don’t be dramatic. You have the exact same parts down there. Just think of it as looking at your own,” I shrug, trying to make light of the situation.
“It is not the same thing,” she says sternly, her lips pursed in disapproval.
I blow a piece of hair out of my face, frustration bubbling up. “You’re no help.”
“Is it really that bad?” she asks, her voice softening with concern.
“When have you ever known me to exaggerate?”
Joey gives me a look.
“Don’t answer that. Walking is an issue, and don’t get me started on having to pee. It’s settled, I’m not drinking anything all day.”
“Well, that happens when you fuck like rabbits on Red Bull. Give it a day to recuperate before you jump his bones again.”
I glare at her as if I would consider sleeping with Felix again anytime soon—okay scratch that. “And if the burning doesn’t go away, I’ll text you something herbal to get rid of that,” she advises, her voice taking on a maternal tone.
I scrunch up my nose, giving her a skeptical look. “You sound like you’re speaking from experience. You haven’t had a boyfriend in forever,” I accuse, my eyes narrowing as I study her reaction.
Her mouth opens and then closes. “Hasn’t everyone had their vagina broken at least once? Oh no, I think I hear Mom coming. Gotta go.” She smiles and gives me a wave before hanging up the phone.
I set the phone down and turn on the shower. Now I have to pee.
Fuck!