44. I Want to Have Your Baby, Someday
44
I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABY, SOMEDAY
FELIX
Nights Like These By Benson Boone
I vy Nova makes an entrance in the VIP tent that causes a commotion. She’s not performing at this festival so what the hell’s she doing here?
She seems to be walking straight for me, and I stop in my tracks because she has a sexy smile on her face that gives me pause. We did the duet together which involved interviews and photo ops, but beyond that we didn’t talk. Besides, I kind of blew her off when she hit on me.
I’m preparing for how I’m gonna get out of this when she walks right past me and into Dex’s waiting arms.
“Hey baby,” Dex says, scooping her up just before their lips connect.
“Well, I’ll be damned,” I mutter, crossing my arms over my chest.
“What in the actual fuck?” I hear Bash’s disgruntled voice next to me.
“I’m in an alternate universe. Someone call for help,” Gunner exclaims, and I laugh.
The entire VIP area is watching their public display of affection, and I have to say I’m a bit jealous. Not because of Ivy, but because I’d always imagined it would be us—Maggie and me—at the end of the tour. We’d be making plans for what comes next, but instead I’m wondering if there still even is an us.
I look at them both and lift an eyebrow. “You two fucks owe me a $100 apiece.”
“Oh, fuck off, Krasinski.”
“You can’t hold me to that!” Bash yells.
“Come on, the odds of Dex actually landing Ivy Nova were a thousand to one,” Gunner gripes.
I smile. “I guess you two idiots didn’t have confidence in our little man over there like I did.” I tip my chin in the direction of Ivy and Dex, who are making their way over to us.
“Hey Felix, hey guys,” Ivy says sweetly, waving at us. Her blonde hair is pulled into a tight high ponytail, and her sequin mini dress was meant to make her stand out.
“Nice to see you again. What brings you all the way to Indio?” Besides sucking face with my drummer?
“It’s the last show and I wanted to watch my man play,” she says, smiling up at Dex who has a shit-eating grin on his face.
“I can’t believe this is the last stop. Feels like we’ve been on tour for a year instead of three months,” I laugh a little sadly.
“We gotta get on stage soon, baby,” Dex coos, giving Ivy’s ass a tight squeeze.
“I’ll be watching from over there.” She points to the VIP tent with a great view of the stage.
“Oh,” she stops me before I leave. “I wanted to thank you.”
“Thank me?” I ask, confused. “What for?”
“You introduced me to Dex,” she smiles, looking over at Dex, who’s blowing her a kiss.
“God help you,” I mumble.
“What? I can’t hear, it’s so loud back here,” she laughs.
“I said, you’re welcome,” I reply. “Enjoy the show.” I take my leave and join the rest of the guys.
We huddle together, arms around each other in a tight circle—a tradition Dex started about halfway through the tour.
“This is the last stop,” I say a bit sentimentally. “But it’s not the end. Let’s do it right.”
We take a shot and then break apart, walking onto the stage as a band for our last performance of the festival tour.
* * *
It’s been a wild ride in more ways than one, but I’d rather be up on this stage than anywhere else. Dusty hands me a bottle of water before I have to go back out for our encore. My voice carries the raspy echoes of the longer sets we’ve been pouring our souls into.
My eyes wander through the backstage chaos, but all they meet are roadies bustling, sound techs tinkering, and bands weaving through the crowded walkways like threads in a restless tapestry.
“What’s important ain’t back here, kid. It’s out there.” He points to the crowd of eager fans.
“I shouldn’t have let her leave,” I say out loud.
Dusty gives me a rare sympathetic look.
“How do you do it?” I ask, thinking back to his wife and kids visiting on the road. He’s seen them once that I know of while we’ve been on tour. “How do you deal with not seeing them for weeks on end?”
He strokes his beard in contemplation. “I make the most of it when I am there,” he finally says. “It ain’t easy. It never will be, but knowing at the end of the tour they’re waiting for me gets me through even the hardest of days.”
I think on that for a moment because I asked Maggie why we couldn’t have both, and she didn’t have an answer. This life is hard on a relationship, especially one where both people are moving in different directions. I understand the hesitation, the need to protect yourself from getting hurt. I don’t blame her for leaving because I know now that having this time apart gave me the chance to focus on what I wanted.
What I want is both this life and Maggie. I just need to convince her that it can work.
“Time to get your ass back out there, kid!” Leave it to Dusty to so eloquently cut through my thoughts.
“Yeah,” I say, shaking out my hand and taking one last moment to down more of my water. He stops me before I hit the stage again.
His expression softens and he clasps me on the shoulder. “You just might find what you’re looking for out there.” He points to the crowd.
I run back out on stage contemplating what Dusty said and wave to the crowd, giving them a good look and knowing that while this is my dream, it’s nowhere near fulfilling me. Not without Maggie.
“Indio!” I yell into the mic and the crowd roars back. “It’s been unreal.”
I dive right into the final song, my fingers dancing feverishly over the strings, pouring life into the opening notes. My voice rises, unleashing the lyrics to our hit that’s been lighting up the airwaves.
Pressing my mouth to the mic, I usually savor the encore, take my time and give Bash his much-deserved guitar solo, but right now all I’m thinking about is getting the hell out of here, jumping on a plane to get to Maggie.
I press through, a new energy in me with the decision that I’m not giving up on us, when I see a sign in the distance that reads HEY ROCKSTAR, I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABY (someday).
My heart seizes in my chest, a sharp ache that feels both painful and electric. I know it’s her. I know it.
The rest of the guys keep singing through the chorus, their voices blending into the background like white noise as I stand frozen, my eyes locked on the sign.
Bash inches closer, his brow furrowed in concern. I can feel his presence, the quiet question in his gaze, but I can’t tear my focus away. I manage a quick glance in his direction, a subtle nod to let him know I’m okay—or at least trying to be—before my attention snaps back to the sign, as if it’s holding me hostage.
I reach for the mic, my fingers trembling slightly, and point toward the sign. “Sass… is that you?”
The sign dips, and the moment stretches impossibly long, like the world itself is holding its breath. And then I see her. Maggie. She’s perched on Dylan’s shoulders, and for a brief second, I feel a pang of sympathy for him—he probably can’t see a damn thing now. But that thought is gone as quickly as it came, obliterated by the sight of her. The blonde strands of her hair catch the stage lights, framing her face like some kind of halo. Her hands fold over the edge of the cardboard, and she looks at me with those eyes—bright, shimmering, and impossibly full of something I can’t name but feel down to my bones.
God, that smile. It’s hopeful, tentative, like she’s unsure if she’s crossed some invisible line but couldn’t stop herself. And me? I’m wrecked. Completely and utterly wrecked. This girl—this fucking girl—has a grip on me so tight I don’t think I’ll ever break free. Not that I’d want to.
The lyrics to the song we’re in the middle of? Gone. Just… gone. My mind is a blank slate, wiped clean by the sheer force of her presence. Leave it to Maggie to show up like this, to turn my entire world upside down with nothing more than a sign.
I give Bash the hand signal for him to take over. He nods his understanding as I turn back to the mic. “Excuse me… but I have to go see the future mother of my children,” I inform the crowd right before I jump off the stage because I am so in love with this girl that I am dangerously consumed by it.
The sign abandoned, she hops off Dylan’s shoulders and weaves through the crowd toward me as they seem to part for us. We meet in the middle and Maggie stops just before she gets to me, a hesitant look on her face as if she’s not sure how I’d receive her, and I hate that I’ve made her feel that way. I want to undo every unanswered text, erase the shadow of disappointment from her eyes, and take back the sharp words I hurled the day she walked away.
If she hasn’t yet realized how deeply I crave her in every way, I let this moment speak for me. Closing the space between us, I pull her into my arms and claim her lips with a kiss that tells of a hunger I’ve been carrying, an ache only she can soothe.
The roar of the crowd picks up around us. She feels like home, her scent a whisper of summer’s warmth, and she holds me completely—body, soul, and everything in between—in the most beautiful way imaginable.
She pulls away, her eyes opening to meet mine, piercing straight into my soul. “I should have told you I loved you. I should have told you sooner. I should have said it a thousand times,” she says, her words resonating through me, sinking deep into the marrow of my being.
I hold her face in my hands. “I know,” I say before I claim her lips again.
The final notes of our song and the roar of the crowd shatter our fragile bubble, pulling us apart as the world rushes back in.
A shy smile tugs at my lips as I draw Maggie close, wrapping her in a protective embrace while we navigate through the sea of people.
“Why didn’t you let me know you were here earlier?” I whisper into her ear.
She looks up at me as if she can’t believe I would ask, and places a hand on my cheek. “I wanted to see you perform,” she says, her eyes, like a star-kissed blue sky, holding me captive, and I can’t look away—within them, I see a boundless belief in me that feels as infinite as the heavens. “And someone once told me this was the best way to see a band,” she sweeps her arm toward the back of the venue.
We weave hurriedly through the crowd, and the moment we reach the sanctuary of backstage, I capture her lips once more, unable to quench the insatiable desire I have for this woman.
“Take me to your bus,” she breathes, and I find myself powerless to refuse her anything.
We crash through the door of my trailer and echoes of a not-so-distant memory filter through my mind, how I couldn’t keep my hands off her, and the sound of her laughter as we explored each other for the first time.
Every time with her was different as I memorized her body, learned what she liked, and made sure to do it over and over again until she fell apart at my doing. I know her inside and out and yet I always seem to learn something new about her. I want all those secret parts of her, the pieces reserved only for me.
There’s a hunger in her eyes that matches my own as she pulls the shirt over her head and unclips her bra, letting it fall between us. I drink in the soft curve of her breasts, her beautiful skin and ache to touch her, to have my mouth on her. It’s been far too long.
I’d lay myself bare, fall to my knees, and worship her for the rest of my life if she’d let me. Right now, I don’t want to think about the future, because being in the same space as her is more than enough and I want this moment to last as long as it can.
She reaches for me and that’s all it takes. My mouth is on her breast, pulling her nipple between my teeth and hearing the hitch in her breath. I make my way down her body, undoing the button of her jean skirt and pulling it down her legs. Jesus, these fucking legs seem to go for miles, and I run my hand over her thigh and her calf, pressing kisses along the way.
I run my thumb along the center of her panties, feeling her thighs quiver around me and lick my lips at the thought of tasting her. Her fingers sink into my hair as I gently pull her panties aside to run my finger through her wetness.
She stares down at me with those fucking pouty lips and lusty eyes while I pull her panties down. I spread her legs wider and run my tongue through her folds. “God, yes,” she moans, and I can’t get enough until her pants come faster, and her hold on me is almost painful.
I grip her hips and pull her into me harder, feeling her move against me. “Fuck my mouth, Maggie,” I say, burying further into her, and she moves her hips against me, the sound of her moans filling the space.
“Don’t stop,” she demands, and I look up her body to see her watching me and God, I could come in my pants with that look.
I pull her leg over my shoulder and latch onto her clit, pulling the bud between my lips and sucking deeply until she shudders and cries my name.
I capture her lips, sinking my tongue into her mouth. I want her to know how good she tastes; how much I love everything about her. She grips my shirt, and we pull apart long enough to remove it from my arms and head. I back her up to the bed and she lays down waiting for me, and I can’t get my jeans off quick enough to crawl across the bed to get to her. The way she looks at me, the love and trust in her eyes will be my undoing.
“I love you.” Those words don’t feel like enough until she says it back.
“I love you too.” She kisses me softly, brushing her lips against mine, holding my face in her hands just like she holds my heart.
I hold back as I look into her eyes.
How I’ve thought about having her like this again, her body under mine, all barriers crumbled between us. All of them except for one—I lean over and reach for my bedside drawer but Maggie stops me.
“You don’t have to.” She rubs her arm where there’s a small, raised area.
“Now I don’t have to worry about remembering to take a pill every day, and it can be taken out if and when I decide,” she smiles.
“What happened to wanting to have my babies someday?” I ask teasingly.
“ Someday , Felix. The optimal word is someday ,” she giggles and I capture her lips, the moment shifting as she deepens the kiss.
I press her body into the mattress, hovering over her as I push the hair from her face, revealing her bright blue eyes.
I haven’t been inside her for weeks and the moment I sink into her, it’s like coming home—her body was meant for me, and we’re like puzzle pieces locking back into place. All of her moans—the way her lips part, the softness of her eyes, and the way she holds me so perfectly are all my undoing.