Thursday
Rowan
Hey, Claire. It’s Rowan.
Claire
Who?
Rowan
Daisy’s brother?
Claire
Daisy Reed? Funny. She never mentioned a brother. In fact, I thought she was an only child.
Rowan
Ha ha.
Seriously, I hope it’s okay that I’m texting you, but I sort of need your help …
Claire
Deja vu, anyone?
Rowan
I’m sorry. But you are kind of amazing.
And I have no one else to call.
Claire
Tell me you didn’t bother your sister for my number? Not while she’s off on her honeymoon with your best friend …
Rowan
Okay, that was a low blow.
Claire
*gif of “That’s What She Said”*
Rowan
*thumbs down react*
I’m only asking for your help because I’m trying to avoid interrupting the newlyweds.
I got your number from Loren Reed, if that’s any indication of my desperation right now.
Claire
Oh, you mean Loren BOURGEOIS?
Wait a minute … is she the girl we talked about—your best friend’s sister, the one that got away?
Landry tried setting you up, but she was already pregnant with Blake’s twins, wasn’t she?
AND THEN YOU HAD TO BE HER DOCTOR?
Rowan
I never said she was the one that got away.
And I’m very happy for her and Blake.
Claire
And Landry’s not just your bestie—he’s your emergency contact.
Because you’ve lived with him before. Which means …
YOU’VE SEEN IT, HAVEN’T YOU?
Rowan
Are you done yet?
Claire
Not until you pay the tax with an embarrassing confession of some sort.
Or you could either discredit or validate the rumors …
Rowan
Wasn’t all of the above embarrassing enough?
And must you always be this crude?
Claire
No.
And, yes, I must. It’s who I am.
Rowan
I’m afraid I can’t participate in this conversation without disrespecting my brother-in-law’s dignity. Believe it or not, even Landry Reed was created in the image and likeness of God.
Claire
*gif of little girl rolling her eyes*
Rowan
Besides, why are you bothering to ask me when it sounds like you’ve already gotten the answer you wanted from my sister?
Claire
*heart react*
I know how much you like positive reinforcement.
Rowan
Great, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, can you please HELP ME?!
*photo of busted water pipe under Daisy’s house*
Claire
Well, shit.
That’s not exactly the kind of gushing I normally respond to in a booty call, but I’ll be over in a few.