Chapter 41 #2
“Just two single, attractive, heterosexual besties, with parts that are biologically geared to fit together …” Loren crunches on another chip, seemingly oblivious to my inner monologue as she waits for me to fill in the blanks. “Besties that have sleepovers, from what I hear,” she adds.
“Mm-hmm.” I grab my copies and straighten the stack with a few taps on the machine, biting my lip to keep myself from blurting out something along the lines of, Yeah, and I deserve a freaking trophy for not jumping his bones last night.
“Claire?” Loren calls out, and I turn to face her.
“Just so you know, if you ever needed someone to talk to about your relationship with Rowan, I’d be willing to listen.
I imagine it feels awkward to discuss that sort of thing with Daisy.
It was a little weird for us to make the transition from friends to in-laws, at least at first. Same with JD and me, too. ”
I let out a weighty exhale. “We’re not really in a relationship, and there isn’t much happening that I couldn’t talk about with Daisy,” I flat out lie, but I hate the way it sounds coming out.
Loren purses her lips and glares at me, calling my bluff. “That’s not the impression Rowan’s been giving me.”
“What exactly has he told you?” I ask, my stomach fluttering with nerves.
“Oh, not much. But I’ve seen the way he looks at you, and it’s a lot different than the way he looked at me,” she teases.
I pull my braid over my shoulder and wrap the tail around my finger. “You think so?”
She stares at me for a second. “Can I ask you something personal?”
“You’ve been doing that for the better part of this conversation, haven’t you?” I retort, and she rolls her eyes playfully.
“Has he kissed you?”
Not in the last few hours, sadly.
“Maybe. But we’re adults. It doesn’t mean anything.” Again, my reaction must give me away, because Loren leans back in her chair with a satisfied grin.
“Oh, I beg to differ, and I married a man who kissed lots of women.”
I look away, trying not to think about the fact that she and Rowan most likely shared a kiss in the past, as well. “Well, it’s not like that with us.”
“What’s it like, then? Just for argument’s sake.”
The memory of his mouth devouring mine as I sit on the counter of the CVS self-checkout flashes in my mind, then the night we made out on the couch to test his heart rate, and the sweet, lazy kisses we shared in my bed this morning.
What’s it like? It’s enough to ruin me.
“Nothing particularly memorable,” I lie again, though it’s getting harder and harder to get the words out, especially when I can’t even remember why I’m hiding it in the first place.
Am I avoiding the truth for Rowan’s sake? Or am I just afraid to fess up to the way he makes me feel?
The clicking of a camera interrupts my thoughts, and Loren zooms in on the image of my reddened face before turning her phone around to show me.
“Liar, liar … panties on fire,” she drawls, and I cringe.
“It’s … not what …” I stumble over an explanation, but she’s not buying it, anyway.
“Claire,” she begins, her tone softening. “For what it’s worth, he never even tried to kiss me.”
As stupid as it is, relief floods my chest. “He didn’t?”
She shakes her head. “Nope.”
“Oh,” I breathe. Why does this small bit of information feel so significant?
“Sure you don’t wanna tell me all about it, especially since you can hold it over my head?” she offers once more. “I promise, it’ll be for my ears only.”
I twirl the end of my braid around my finger as I consider it. She’s right, I haven’t really had the chance to dish about this to anyone. And I think I might want to.
Hell, who am I kidding? I’m dying to talk about Rowan.
“Why would you care? You’re married to Blake the Snake. I’m sure you have much spicier stories to share,” I reply, my lips twitching as I stifle another smirk.
Her eyebrows bounce suggestively as she pulls out the chair beside her and pats the open seat. “You’re right. I might very well be married to the sexiest man alive,” she muses with a dreamy sigh.
I give her a noncommittal shrug as I go around to plop myself down onto the chair. “You haven’t seen much of Rowan, I presume.”
Her eyes sparkle. “No, but I’d love to hear about it.”
“He’s absolutely gorgeous,” I say with a groan, my eyelids feeling heavy at the mere thought of him. “And he wears glasses before bed.”
Loren gasps. “Tell me they’re of the chunky, plastic variety.”
I shake my head. “The wire kind, the ones that can turn a perfectly nice man into a sexy paleontologist or an aging Scottish laird who isn’t afraid to throw you over his shoulder,” I explain, and she sighs again. “He’s a great kisser, too, very attentive and eager to please.”
She rears back, clutching her imaginary pearls. “Please, go on.”
But I already feel guilty about the implications I’m making, less so for being crude than for only dishing about my physical attraction to Rowan.
“How much did he tell you about himself when you dated?”
“Not a whole lot, but I know those LaFleurs are a different breed,” she replies. “And I mean that in the best way,” she adds quickly.
“Right. So you probably know we haven’t …” But before I can even figure out how I want to finish my sentence, the door to the teacher’s lounge swings open.
Loren’s brother-in-law pauses a few steps into the room and glares at us. “Uh, hi.”
“What the hell are you doing in here, JD?” she asks in a scolding tone.
“I work here,” he retorts sarcastically before turning to me with a more polite expression. “Hey, Claire.”
“Hey, Coach,” I return.
“Well … get out. We’re having a girl-talk break,” Loren demands as if she’s not speaking to her boss.
“Technically, it’s supposed to be your planning period. And I only came for a Gatorade,” he says, gesturing toward the vending machine. “But now I might want to stay for the girl talk.”
“Jay Dee-hee,” Loren whines. “I’m finally making another work friend, and you’re ruining it!”
He puts a dollar bill into the machine before mumbling, “I thought I was your work bestie,” and adding a mocking face at the end.
“But you’re a big, stinky boy. It’s not the same. And I already know too much about your love life because you married my actual best friend.”
JD snorts as he retrieves his drink. “I bet Daisy would be willing to tell you all about—”
“That’s what I’m saying!” she interjects. “I’d really like to trade stories that don’t involve one of my brothers by blood or by law for once!”
He leans back against the vending machine and crosses his arms. “I feel like Rowan pretty much fits into that category by now, anyway.”
My stomach dips. “And what makes you so sure we’re talking about Rowan?” I ask, mirroring Loren’s tone from before.
“Come on, everyone knows he’s been hanging around for you,” he says before he gulps down half of his drink in one swig and lets out a burp. “Well, that’s what my wife and I both think.”
“Why do I find it hard to believe you and Tenley swap office gossip?” I reply in an attempt to take the heat off myself.
“He’s actually kind of better at girl talk than Tenley is,” Loren turns and admits quietly.
JD finishes off his sports drink and tosses the bottle into the trash can from across the room. “See, I can hang.”
“Yeah, well, I’m pretty shitty when it comes to talking about real feelings. So all you’re getting from me is crude humor, anyway.”
Loren frowns. “Why not both?”
I blink and look away, unable to answer her.
“Yeah, why not both?” JD parrots, and Loren throws a chip at him, which he tries to catch in his mouth and misses.
“You’re totally ruining this for me,” she growls at him.
“I’m making it easier. It’s called comedic relief,” he says as he stuffs the chip crumbs into his mouth and walks over to steal another from Loren’s bag. And I actually find myself laughing at him.
“This is totally weird. You guys know that, right?”
They glance at one another and shrug. “Families come in all shapes and sizes,” JD declares as he pulls another bag of chips from his pocket and opens it up before placing it down on the table in front of Loren.
She takes a chip without question, and the two of them stare at me expectantly as they crunch away.
Truthfully, they’re kind of adorable, and my heart aches at the notion of forming a familial bond like theirs.
“I mean, name a better duo,” Loren continues, and JD squats down to press his cheek to hers as they pose with matching cheesy smiles, in spite of their comical size difference.
“Yeah, and on Wednesdays, we wear pink,” JD declares.
A loud cackle bursts out of me, so I instinctively cover my mouth to muffle it.
And maybe my heart’s still a little too full from this morning, but I can’t help thinking it’s okay to be the girl with the big laugh and the loud feelings this time, at least with people who might actually care about me and like me for who I am.
So I let myself laugh, and my friends join in.