Chapter 12 #2
His gaze dipped to my lips, and I found myself looking at his.
Without a word, we began to move closer and then the loudest crack of thunder ripped through the sky and we sprang apart.
On reflection, it was the oddest moment to lean in, but I found he was like a magnet.
We’d barely spent any time together, but I knew I could fall fathoms deep for him if I let myself.
‘I think that’s Thor’s way of saying you’re a valiant man, James,’ I said, once I’d caught my breath. ‘And I’m in complete agreement with him about that.’
‘Thank you,’ he smiled.
‘Now, come on,’ I nudged, to give us a moment to recover. ‘Tell me what you’ve got in that bag?’
He had put together a wonderful picnic, and as we munched our way through it, the windows misted up to the point where I had to turn the engine over to clear them.
‘I wasn’t sure we’d want all of that,’ James said, once we’d put the rubbish in my bag and as he used the hand wipes I also kept in the car. ‘But I’m pleased I picked it up.’
‘I was hungrier than I thought,’ I told him, ‘so it was appreciated. Thank you.’
I hoped Constance had bothered to have something. I’d check on her when I got back.
‘So,’ said James, ‘you’ve listened to me moaning about my work, now tell me something exciting about this childhood dream you’re following.’
‘I can understand why you said you envy me now,’ I sighed, as the penny dropped. ‘But if it wasn’t for the money Dad left me, I wouldn’t be pursuing my dream. I’m not the sort of person who makes massive life changes without a plan and some security.’
James grinned.
‘What?’
‘The kitchen towel, wipes and rubbish bag were a bit of a clue,’ he quipped.
‘Are you teasing me?’ I pretended to huff. ‘You’ve needed all three of those things this afternoon.’
‘I’m not teasing you,’ he said, putting his hands up. ‘I’m grateful. And I think we’re probably similar in lots of ways we haven’t even mentioned yet.’
‘I take my time when it comes to making big decisions and I need to feel safe before I jump.’ He nodded in agreement. ‘I’m more laid-back than I used to be, but I do still like to know I’ve got some security,’ I explained.
To any outsider looking in, my unusual business idea might have seemed at odds with what I’d just said, but if it wasn’t for the financial security Dad had given me, I wouldn’t even be considering pursuing it.
And even now, if it didn’t look like I’d be able to secure permission, I wouldn’t buy the woods on a whim.
Not that I wanted to think about the possibility of failing.
‘I’m the same,’ James nodded. ‘I’m all for security, too. The pro bono work didn’t fund anything like the lifestyle I could be leading now if I didn’t have other commitments, but it was steady and regular and enough.’
‘I’m pleased to hear you say that about the comfort of security,’ I admitted. ‘Because I was wondering if you might think I was totally boring.’
‘Far from it.’
‘Pursuing my childhood dream might sound impulsive, but it’s all planned out. It’s not a whim. My brother on the other hand,’ I reflected, ‘is the total opposite. He’s all for flying in feet first without a care for the future.’
James shuddered.
‘Exactly.’ I applauded. ‘I’m more chilled than I used to be, but my brother’s way of going about things is still anathema to me.’
‘And me. So, how is it coming on, this carefully thought-out plan of yours?’
‘Slowly,’ I nodded. ‘I only presented the idea for the first time this morning to the person who will have an influence over whether it comes off.’
‘That’s a huge step though, Tilly,’ James cheered. ‘A massive leap. How was it received?’
‘With much enthusiasm,’ I was thrilled to be able to tell him. ‘A green light all the way.’
‘So, you’re off and running then?’
‘Not quite, because there’s loads to do before I launch. It will take months, but I’ve made a very good start.’
‘Tell me then, what is it you want to do?’
‘Let’s just say,’ I said mysteriously, ‘it’s something very outdoorsy.’
‘Is that really all you’re going to tell me?’
‘For now.’
‘When you know I’m a… what did you call me… a fresh air fiend!’
‘Sorry.’
‘Well,’ he said, as he reached for my hand and stroked the back of it, causing the air to rush out of my lungs. ‘At least I know it’s something I’ll be able to get excited about. Outdoorsy is definitely my thing.’
‘Something fundamental we have in common,’ I said happily. It felt wonderful to share that passion, but it was awful that James couldn’t follow his heart, especially when he’d been offered another chance to. ‘Are you really going to have to turn your old boss down?’ I asked sadly.
‘I am,’ James sighed. ‘I can’t do anything else, but at least I can live vicariously through you, Tilly. Follow your dream for me.’
‘I will,’ I promised, ‘but I’m sorry you can’t have what you want, too.’
‘So am I,’ he agreed, ‘but it’s worth it. And that’s what I mustn’t lose sight of. I have to keep reminding myself that I’m doing this job with good reason. Very good reason.’
He gently let go of my hand to check his phone, which had just beeped, and I thought he must love his family very much. I noticed he was wearing a Rolex as he picked the phone up. A vintage Rolex.
‘Damn,’ he muttered.
‘What is it?’ I frowned.
‘A traffic alert. It looks like I’m going to have the journey from hell back to London.’
‘That’s the last thing you need,’ I tutted.
‘It’s never pleasant. I think I’d better head off.’
‘Okay,’ I nodded. ‘Will you let me know when you’re safely back?’
‘I will,’ he said and leant over to lightly brush my cheek with his soft, full lips. ‘I’m sorry the weather has let us down.’
He hadn’t moved more than an inch, and I could feel the heat between us.
‘I’m sorry you didn’t get your green space top up,’ I whispered.
‘Next time.’ He smiled and moved to pick up the bag.
‘Next time,’ I echoed, and with another heart stopping smile, he was gone.