Chapter 26
Constance looked from her nephew to me and back again and I could see the colour rising in her cheeks.
‘I see,’ she said in a tone I hadn’t heard her use before. ‘I see. You’ve clearly talked in more detail than I realised, haven’t you?’
‘Perhaps we have,’ James responded. ‘And on every occasion, Tilly has come to further understand why I don’t want to sell the woods, Aunt Constance. She can understand what they mean to me, because she herself—’
‘Lost something precious,’ Constance interjected. ‘And she, and Zack,’ she added, with a nod to my brother, ‘have my every sympathy. And so do you, James, because I do appreciate what the woods mean to you, but in the long term, parting with them is going to give you so much more.’
James shook his head and Buddy strained on his lead. There were a lot of people he could be saying hello to, and he was becoming increasingly frustrated with being held back. As was his owner.
‘You say you sympathise with me,’ James fired at his aunt, his voice getting louder, ‘but you won’t accept that I know what’s best for me.
Along with how I feel about the woods, you won’t accept what it is that I feel I need to do, either.
You say you’re doing this to help me, but I want to help you!
I couldn’t do anything to help Mum, when she was dying, but I can help you now and you won’t let me! ’
That declaration seemed to take the wind out of Constance’s sails and caused a collective gasp and my eyes to fill with tears.
‘Oh, James,’ I said and, without thinking, reached for his hand.
Immediately after he’d said his piece, Constance’s features had softened, but my making a physical connection with her nephew caused them to harden again.
‘Oh my,’ said Rick.
‘Are these two—’ Kaya began to say, but Melody cut her off.
‘I know you were insistent that we should all stay before,’ she said to Constance, ‘but now I think we really should go. Come on, everyone. Let’s leave.’
She stood up and everyone else followed.
‘But I’d much rather stay,’ Kaya said, and her sister gave her a nudge.
‘As would I,’ said Rick, as he looked from James to me, ‘but now’s not the time, Kaya.’
‘Would you like me to stay?’ Zack asked me.
‘No, it’s okay,’ I said, ‘but thanks, Zack. We’ll catch up later and make proper introductions soon.’
‘All right,’ he said and offered James a smile, ‘but I think I’ve already got the gist.’
Constance waited until everyone had walked through the gate, and once Carter had closed it behind him, she fixed James with a steely glare and then, while he let Buddy off his lead, she turned her hardened expression on me.
‘Hello, Buddy,’ I said, avoiding eye contact with her by giving him a fuss. He hadn’t clued into the tense atmosphere and just wanted to play. ‘Get down now.’
‘Buddy,’ James said, rather sharply, and the dog bounded off.
‘Why do I get the feeling that there’s more to this situation than either of you have chosen to share with me?’ Constance demanded of us both.
James went to move, but before he could say anything, I stepped up and went for broke.
‘James was my lay-by meet-cute,’ I blurted out. ‘He’s also the guy I went on a date with that Rick announced at the first supper party and, prior to finding James playing the piano in your sitting room the day you thought was the first time we met, we’d got together on other occasions, too.’
I could feel James was looking at me, but I didn’t reciprocate.
‘And we’ve talked on the phone a lot,’ I continued to gabble on. ‘Both before and after it was revealed that the two of you are related.’
‘Tilly…’ James whispered.
‘I know,’ I said to him. ‘But I couldn’t keep it in any longer, James. It’s such a relief to have everything out in the open now.’
‘Well, I’m pleased you’re feeling better, Tilly,’ Constance said, sounding deeply upset, ‘but I don’t. If anything, I feel a total fool. You’ve both deceived me.’
‘That was never our intention,’ James was quick to say.
‘So why haven’t either of you said anything before tonight?’ she asked. ‘You’ve known for ages now who James and I are to each other, Tilly, and you’ve never said a word. Why?’
I took a moment to think how I could best frame my response in a way that wouldn’t make her feel even worse because that was the last thing I wanted.
‘Because once James was revealed as your nephew,’ I said truthfully, ‘I didn’t know what that was going to mean for the two of us or our new relationship.
Prior to that, I had been really falling for him, but then when I discovered who he was, and that he could influence my future in such a negative way, I had to try and call time on my feelings.
Things were already so complicated that I didn’t want to make the situation worse by telling you who he really was to me and throwing… love… into the equation.’
‘Love,’ I heard James say breathlessly.
‘Love,’ Constance echoed, then turned her attention to her nephew. ‘And what about you, James?’ she asked. ‘Is this how you feel, too?’
‘No disrespect, Aunt Constance,’ he responded succinctly, and I wondered if I’d shocked him by uttering that four letter word that carried so much hope, comfort and promise, ‘but I’ll talk to Tilly about my feelings when the two of us are alone if that’s all right with you?
You and I have got plenty of other things to discuss. ’
Buddy chose that moment to come hurtling back and almost knocked me off my feet.
‘Come here, you daft dog,’ James tutted and reached for his collar. ‘Sorry, Tilly. Are you all right?’
‘No,’ I said, looking deep into his eyes. ‘In spite of the cathartic moment, I’m not feeling all that great.’
‘Me neither,’ he puffed.
‘I think we should continue this conversation up at the house,’ Constance said and stood up rather stiffly.
James went to offer her his arm, but she waved him away.
‘My two favourite people in the whole world have found their way to one another,’ she said, sounding wretched, ‘and I should be thrilled, but I’m not. I can’t be because all I can see coming from this connection is an unhappy ending…’
Her words, even though I agreed with them entirely, hurt me deeply, and when we reached the patio, I peeled off.
‘I think it would be best if I left the pair of you to it,’ I said hoarsely. ‘Keep it in the family, for tonight at least.’
‘You don’t have to go,’ James insisted. ‘There’s nothing I’m going to say to my aunt that I wouldn’t want you to hear, Tilly.’
‘And nothing that I probably haven’t heard before,’ Constance said rather cuttingly.
‘I appreciate that,’ I nodded to James, ‘but I’m still going to call it a night.’
Constance didn’t say anything further and as she turned towards the sunroom, James mimed that he’d talk to me in the morning and I gave him a thumbs up in response.
Once inside the apartment, I found I needed some comfort, so I warmed some milk, got undressed and, feeling the cool of the evening taking hold, climbed into bed.
I had a WhatsApp message from Zack asking me to let him know if I was okay, which I did, and then I fell to wondering why James had turned up when he had.
He hadn’t mentioned that he was going to be able to visit so soon, and as I snuggled down for the night, I added that to the growing list of things I wanted to talk to him about.
Having spent much of the night tossing and turning, I woke late and with a thick head to the sound of my phone buzzing.
‘James, hey,’ I said tiredly. ‘Are you okay?’
‘That depends on your definition of okay,’ he replied, sounding equally as tired. ‘Can you meet me at the cabin in say, half an hour?’
I pictured him checking the time on his beloved timepiece, and even though the woods were the last place I felt like visiting, I made a concerted effort to push my feelings aside.
‘Can we make it a few minutes longer than that?’ I requested. ‘I’ve only just woken up. I didn’t sleep well.’
‘Not to try to top trump you, but I haven’t even seen my bed yet.’
‘You’ve been up all night?’
‘Aunt Constance and I were both up all night. She’s just gone to her room.’
‘Did you make any headway?’ I asked, then immediately countered. ‘No, tell me when we’re together.’
‘I’ll see you down there.’
I didn’t waste any time in dithering to get ready because I didn’t want to think about the difficulty of making a return trip to the woods and I didn’t want to catastrophise over what James might be going to tell me, either.
I did the bare minimum in the bathroom, piled my hair up into the messiest ever bun and pulled on a linen shirt dress I should have hung up because it was now deeply creased and crumpled. Moving fast and on autopilot helped me not to think too deeply, but I wasn’t sure for how long.
I didn’t have to creep by the house to avoid being spotted because I knew Constance had gone to bed and I was soon parked at the woods and feeling determined to take as little notice of the place as I could. That, however, turned out to be impossible.
It had only been a short while since I’d last visited, but looking quickly around, I could see how far the summer had moved on.
Both the garden at Fernside and the lane that led to the woods were showing the very first signs of autumn, but I could feel them more keenly here.
The bleached-out colours en masse gave a hint of what was to come and how quickly it was going to happen.
There was no denying that I still loved Willowell Woods and the rapidly ripening sloes and hawthorn berries had me hankering to observe their changes through the next season and beyond.
‘Just keep going,’ I muttered to myself and strode more quickly towards the cabin.