Chapter 21
The back room had never been particularly large, but when Charlie stepped through the door, it felt as though the walls had moved closer since the last time she had been in there.
Billy had obviously already done his best to wash away most of the blood, but the smell still lingered, mingling with the familiar scents of beer, stale smoke and the clubhouse itself.
Reeze sat against the wall, shirtless. The dressing above his eyebrow had already begun to darken again, his shoulder was bandaged and several bruises were slowly emerging across his skin.
Yet it wasn’t the injuries that made Charlie stop. It was how unconcerned he seemed by them.
Not relaxed, she realised after a few seconds. He was tired and in pain; she could see that now that she knew what to look for. But there was nothing in the way he sat there to suggest that what had happened was entirely unfamiliar to him.
Outside, the clubhouse carried on around them.
Assholes had taken over half the yard, and through the door came laughter, the ticking of cooling engines and music that had already become far too loud.
Someone shouted something that made several others laugh, and moments later something crashed to the ground with a bang.
Charlie barely noticed. She could still see Reeze standing out in the yard. The blood along his cheek, Billy’s reaction and, above all, the fact that no one had seemed particularly surprised.
“What happened?”
Reeze dragged a hand over his face before answering. “It was a job.”
Charlie gave a short, humourless laugh. “Stop calling it that.”
He looked at her and something shifted behind his eyes. Not anger. More that same exhaustion she had seen in him before when he spoke about things he didn’t particularly like but did anyway.
“He was talking to the wrong people.”
“And?”
Reeze fell silent. In the weeks Charlie had known him, she had already learnt that his silence rarely meant he didn’t have an answer. More often than not, it meant exactly the opposite.
She looked at him and felt the truth slowly settle into place.
There was no dramatic shock. The world didn’t stop around her. She simply looked at the man sitting in front of her and understood what she had already begun to understand outside in the yard.
“You killed him.”
Reeze raised his eyes to hers. “Yes.” No excuse. No apology. Just a bare, simple yes.
Charlie swallowed and moved farther into the room. “Was it difficult?”
The question escaped before she had time to think about it, and Reeze rubbed a hand over the back of his neck before nodding. “Yes.”
Somehow, that almost made the answer worse.
If he had shrugged or tried to make the man he had killed sound worthless, Charlie would at least have known what she was supposed to feel.
Instead Reeze sat in front of her, still the same man who had held her when she woke from nightmares, the same man who carried far more inside himself than he ever spoke about.
“Was it the first time?”
The brief hesitation was answer enough. “No.”
Charlie closed her eyes and drew a slow breath through her nose. She had never believed he was innocent. Not really. She had seen the cut, seen the men around him and learnt enough about the club to understand that the world Reeze lived in didn’t follow the same rules as hers.
Still, understanding that in theory was one thing. Sitting only a few feet away from him and hearing him admit it was something else entirely.
“I slept with you last night.”
Reeze looked at her.
“And you knew you were going out to do this.”
“Yes.”
“You could have refused.”
This time there was no hesitation. “Yes.”
Charlie stared at him.
Reeze drew a slow breath. “But then I would have let the club down.”
“And you weren’t going to do that.”
“No.”
He didn’t say it harshly and there was no attempt to hurt her in the answer. It was simply the truth.
Charlie began pacing the small room, managing a few steps in one direction before turning and coming back.
Her thoughts were moving too quickly, refusing to settle, and she couldn’t make the man sitting in front of her fit with what he had just told her, even though some part of her knew that was exactly what she had to do. “I don’t understand.”
“I know.”
“I’m trying.” She stopped and looked at him. “I’m really trying to understand this world, Reeze, but you came home covered in blood after killing someone and everybody out there reacted as though you’d been knocked around in a bar fight.”
“That doesn’t mean nobody cares.”
“I didn’t say it did.”
His gaze dropped. Charlie watched him for another moment and realised she didn’t know what she wanted him to say.
She didn’t want him to lie to her, and she certainly didn’t want some excuse he didn’t believe himself.
She simply wanted the man she was falling in love with to fit with the man sitting in front of her.
Perhaps that was the problem. There weren’t two versions of Reeze. There was only one.
“I need some air.” She turned towards the door and almost reached it before she heard him move behind her.
“Charlie.”
“I’m not going to run.”
“I didn’t say you were.”When she looked back, he had got to his feet and was standing with one hand braced against the wall while he waited for the pain in his shoulder to ease.
“But I’m coming with you.”
Normally she might have argued with him simply on principle.
Right now, she couldn’t be bothered. The air outside was cool against Charlie’s face and she pulled her jacket more tightly around herself as she walked away from the clubhouse.
She had no idea where she was going and it didn’t really matter.
She just needed a few minutes when the small room, the smell of blood and Reeze’s answers weren’t pressing in on her from every direction. He followed a few steps behind.
Not close enough to crowd her, but not far enough away for her to forget he was there.
“I need to think,” she said.
“Then think.”
Charlie glanced back at him. “You don’t have to guard me.”
“I know.”
“But you’re going to anyway.”
“Yeah.”
Despite everything, she almost smiled. “Why do I even bother asking?”
“No idea.”
That was when a car door slammed somewhere beyond the compound.
The sound nearly disappeared beneath the engines, music and noise from the yard, but Reeze reacted immediately.
Charlie saw his entire body change before she had even turned towards the sound.
A dark car stood farther away. Dennis was leaning against it.
The cold that swept through Charlie had nothing to do with the evening air.
He didn’t look stressed or angry. Quite the opposite. He stood with his hands tucked into the pockets of his jacket, watching them as though the meeting were nothing more than coincidence.
“There you are.”
Reeze moved before Charlie did, taking a step forward until he stood between them.
“You shouldn’t be here.”
Dennis smiled. “Nice to see you too.”
Charlie saw Reeze’s jaw tighten. He was already injured, exhausted and in pain, and for the first time since she had met him, she wanted him simply to turn around and walk away.
Take her with him and leave. But Dennis had never been satisfied with simply showing up.
He wanted the reaction. The control. The reassurance that Charlie was still forced to acknowledge him, still forced to make room for him in her life.
“You didn’t answer my message,” he said, looking directly at her. “I thought that was rude.”
“Get the fuck out of here,” Reeze said.
His voice remained calm, but Charlie heard what lay underneath it. So did Dennis. His smile widened slightly. “You look tired. Rough day?”
Reeze didn’t answer. He simply remained in front of Charlie, leaning slightly forwards despite the injured shoulder, and she realised his body had already made a decision the rest of him was still trying not to act upon.
“We’re leaving,” he said.
Dennis laughed.
“You make her decisions now too?”
“No.” Charlie heard her own voice before Reeze had a chance to answer. “But I am leaving.”
She took one step backwards, then another. The movement came from the side.
Something hit Reeze with enough force to knock him off balance, and Charlie caught only a glimpse of Josh before everything exploded around them. Reeze swore as his already damaged shoulder took the impact, and another figure appeared from behind the car. Dennis hadn’t come alone.
“Reeze!”
He tried to turn towards her. Dennis was faster. He didn’t go for Reeze.
He came straight for Charlie, and somehow that was almost worse. Not the anger in his face or the violence erupting around them, but the sheer naturalness of the movement, as though she still belonged to him and her own will had never mattered.
Charlie managed one step backwards before he caught her by the arm and yanked her towards him.
“You never fucking learn.”
She heard Reeze shout her name. Then Dennis was ripped away from her.
Charlie lost her balance and struck the side of a parked car hard enough to knock the air from her lungs.
By the time she managed to straighten up, Reeze was trying to reach her while Josh and the other man threw themselves at him.
He had already been injured when it started.
Apparently, that didn’t matter to him. There was no hesitation left in him now.
No exhaustion and none of the quiet thoughtfulness from the room.
There was only a vicious determination to get to her.
“Reeze!”
His eyes searched through the chaos until they found hers. And then she saw it. He was afraid.
Not of the men around him, not of the blood that had begun running again from the wound above his eyebrow and not for a body that had already taken far more punishment than it should have.
For her. Then voices erupted from the yard.
Someone must have seen what was happening, because within seconds men began pouring out of the club compound.
Rollo and Billy were first, with men from both Wallhalla and Assholes directly behind them, and the moment Dennis saw them something finally cracked in that smug confidence of his.
A few seconds earlier, he had controlled the situation.
Now he was standing outside an MC compound after attacking one of its officers.
“We’re leaving.”
Josh didn’t need telling twice. They piled into the car and were gone before the first of the others reached them.
Charlie barely registered what happened next.
Someone was swearing, somebody else shouted for the first-aid kit, and several of the Assholes members were still standing amongst the bikes wearing expressions that suggested they were considerably more annoyed at having missed the beginning of the fight than shocked that one had happened.
Charlie saw only Reeze. He had sagged back against the side of a car, blood running along his jaw as he breathed heavily. Even then, his eyes were searching the car park.
Searching for her. Charlie was in front of him before she had time to think. “Idiot.”
The word came out far shakier than she intended as she sank down in front of him.
Reeze tried to smile. “You don’t look very happy to see me.”
Normally she would have laughed. Now she put both hands against his face and rested her forehead against his. The blood was still there. Dennis was still there. So was the man Reeze had killed, along with all the questions she still didn’t have answers to. Nothing had been resolved.
She still didn’t know how she was supposed to feel about everything she had learnt about him.
But the man in front of her was still Reeze. And he was still here. For now, that was enough.