6. Thoren
CHAPTER SIX
thoren
L ily leads me into her house, and I can feel the change in it immediately. It has a warmth it never had when Gary lived here. Gary was a little rough around the edges, and it showed in the way he let this place fall apart. The smell of paint mixes with the outside air as I take in the open windows and walls lined with painter’s tape.
“I like the color choice,” I point at the deep green walls. It creates a seamless transition between living room and outdoors, sunlight warming the wooden floor, and the gentle sounds of nature a backdrop to the room’s comfort.
“Thanks, Michele helped me pick it out. Shadow kept me company while I painted today.” I don’t have to see her face to hear the smile there. She washes her hands at the kitchen sink before pulling ingredients from the fridge.
“I’m sure she slept the day away. Probably right in the middle of your couch,” I joke, seeing little black hairs on the middle cushion. “Do you mind if I wash up, then I can help?”
“Of course, bathroom is right there.” She points to the only door beside the small closet at the front. I take my time scrubbing my hands and arms and splash water on my face and hair. I am still sweaty and covered in sawdust, but somewhat less of a mess for her.
I flinch when something crashes next to me, almost pulling the towel off the wall. I debate ignoring it, but the thought of her slipping on spilled body wash stops me. Pulling back the shower curtain, I find a piece of a tile shattered in the tub. Peering over the shower walls, multiple cracked and missing tiles stand out. The shower head is slowly dripping water, and there’s mold forming on the wall behind the missing pieces.
“Hey Lily,” I say, stepping into the kitchen. “I don’t mean to be nosy, but a tile fell off your shower wall when I was in the bathroom.”
She stills, her back to me, as she faces the sink. “Sorry if it scared you. They’ve been doing that. It’s on the list to fix.” There’s a slight tremor in her voice.
Trying to ease her embarrassment, I cross my arms as I lean against the counter near her. “It happens with these old places. I had to gut my bathrooms, too. Can I help you with it?”
“Oh no, that’s not necessary. You already helped with the deck. I’ll get it sorted out soon.” Her smile doesn’t reach her eyes, but I drop the subject for now. I don’t want to push her too far. I enjoy spending time with her, she’s sweet and funny, beautiful and determined. She has this softness about her, a quiet reservation that makes me want to take care of her. To protect her from the harsh world we live in.
“Okay, then put me to work here.”
She passes over a cutting board and knife. “You can dice up the potatoes while I throw together a salad.” We work well together, aware of each other's movements in the small kitchen space. I try to focus on my task, and not the fact that she looks like she’s naked under that oversized shirt until it lifts up, showing off the tiny shorts below. My arm brushes hers as I reach around her, and I swear I feel heat travel up and settle in my chest.
She pulls back slightly from me with a light smile. “I’ll season those and throw them in the oven then start the steaks. Would you like a beer or something?”
“Whatever you are having is great,” I say, taking a seat at her small table. I like that the space down here is open so I can watch her work, no matter where I go. I glance around the cabin again and notice there aren’t many personal effects. No framed photos on the wall, no kitschy knick knacks. I want to know more about her, where she came from, and where she wants to go. “What does your family think of you moving out here?”
She hands me a glass of red wine before moving back to the kitchen. “It’s just my parents and I. They moved to Florida a few years ago, so my moving here doesn’t affect them much.” Her voice raises a few octaves as her eyes shift around the kitchen.
“You really went as far from them as possible then, huh?” I joke to lighten the tension now around us. “They must be really proud of you, though, pursuing your passions.”
She tries to hide her grimace, but I see it all the same. “Not really. They had big ideas for my life. You know, getting the right degree, climbing the corporate ladder, marrying a wealthy man and having the 2.5 kids.” She flips the steaks, searing the other side. “I tried to follow their path, I got the degree they wanted for me even though creative writing was my favorite class. I worked at a large financial firm in Phoenix. I just wasn’t happy. It’s not what I wanted for my life. Not by a long shot.”
Her words hit me hard. I have the most supportive parents in the world that didn’t care what Riv and I did, as long as we were happy. Jen didn’t feel the same though, she wanted the exact life Lily’s parents wanted for her. Funny how they traded places like that.
“I’m sorry they feel that way. I’m glad that you decided to live your life for you though. I’ll be proud enough of you for both of them. Life is more than money and status. There’s a whole world filled with love and laughter, passion, and beauty. It’s a shame more people don’t make the effort to see it.”
She laughs but it lacks humor. “Thanks, Thoren. My mom especially will never see it that way. She’s from a strict Asian family, where success and status are demanded. I think it’s hard for her to break from that view.”
I have been curious what her nationality was. Her flawless olive skin and thick dark hair pairs perfectly with slightly pouty lips and dainty features. It’s her stunning blue eyes that really stand out and contrast with her darker features, rounding out her striking beauty.
“Can I ask where you got your blue eyes? They captivated me the moment you walked in the shop last week, and I’ve been drowning in them ever since.” I ask, hoping my words don’t freak her out.
I watch the pink in her cheeks turn a deep purple as she pulls the steaks from the pan and plates them. “My dad’s European, specifically from the Netherlands. Blonde hair, blue eyes, very fair skin. My eyes seem to be the only physical attribute I got from him.”
I get up to bring the salad bowl and utensils to the table while she checks on the potatoes. “Then he at least got that part right. You are beautiful, Lily.”
She gives me a shy smile, but quickly turns back to her task and plates the potatoes for us before bringing the plates over and sitting across from me. “So you know about my family now. Tell me about yours.”
I swallow my sip of wine and start cutting into the steak. “My parents are incredible. My mom really struggled to get pregnant, so she was thirty-four when she had River. They never expected to be able to have another, so when I came along two years later, they were pleasantly surprised. They’ve treated us like life's greatest gifts ever since.” I groan as the flavors of the steak melt on my tongue when I take my first bite. I love a woman who can cook. “River’s been playing baseball professionally for five years now. He loves it, and although he’s only a few hours drive away, he’s so busy that we don’t get to see him as much as I would like. We’re still close though. We make an effort to chat weekly and stay caught up on each other’s lives. He said he’s happy to help answer any questions that I can’t.”
“Oh, that reminds me,” she puts her fork down, retrieving a paper from her fridge. “I wrote out a list of all the questions. If you want to bring it home in case there are any you need to ask him. I have my own copy so don’t worry if you lose it.” She sets it to the side of the table, face down. It’s a small gesture, but a big impact. She wants to be in this moment with me. “Michele said there’s some great local beer at the grocery store. If you tell me your favorite I can bring you a six pack this weekend and we can go through them?”
“Anything local is great.”
“Okay, does Saturday evening work for you?”
I know that I told her I would help her learn about baseball, and that’s why she is coming over. That doesn’t stop my pulse from racing at the thought of her wanting to see me again. I would love to spend an evening with Lily. It would be even better if she wanted to stay the night.
She’s skittish and there’s a haunted look in her eyes that I hate seeing. There’s nothing I want more than to uncover her layers and see the real her. This polished version intrigues me, and I’m beyond attracted to her, but it’s the hidden version I really want to see. She’s been drawing me in since the moment I met her, a tether I can’t shake, not that I want to. Just the thought of her wanting to come to my home lights up parts of me that have been pushed to the side.
“Sounds perfect,” I say around bites of dinner. “Speaking of perfection, this steak is incredible. The entire meal is, but I am a sucker for a juicy steak. Do you like cooking?”
“My mom ensured I knew how to cook, you know, because the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” she chuckles nervously. “Luckily, I really love it. It’s hard cooking for one, but cooking helps me relax from the day and focus on the task at hand.”
I don’t think she has a boyfriend, but I have been dying to ask anyway. “Have you been cooking for one for long?”
She stares at me, unblinking for a moment, before throwing her head back in laughter. “Was that your way of asking if I’m single? Jesus, Thoren, that was bad.” She picks up her wine glass, chuckling to herself as she takes a sip. “Yes, I’ve been only cooking for myself for a while.” Her features drop, a look of hurt crossing her face. “Even in my last relationship, I mostly ate alone. What about you? Do you like cooking, and are you cooking for only one?”
“Very single. The only time I cook for others is when Jake shows up demanding dinner. I do enjoy cooking, but it’s not the same when you’re alone. There’s something special about cooking with someone. For someone. I miss that.”
She’s contemplative as she takes a sip of her wine. Her quiet voice finally breaks through, “I’ve never had someone cook for me.”
I want to ask more, because at our age, any decent boyfriend has cooked a meal for his girlfriend. Has she only dated wealthy men that only go out to eat, or have private chefs? She mentioned that’s the type of man her parents want for her. If that’s what she’s looking for, she won’t find that in this town, and certainly not in me. I am a decent cook and it’s fulfilling watching people enjoy something I have made.
“Well that’s a damn shame, and getting rectified Saturday evening. My salmon recipe is unmatched and just happens to pair well with beer and baseball.” We continue our dinner, and I help her clean up and wash the dishes when we are done. It feels natural spending time with her, like we’ve been doing this for years and didn’t just meet last week.
“I should probably head home and feed Shadow. Thanks again for spending time with her today, and for making me that incredible dinner.” I have the urge to wrap her in my arms, bury my head in her neck, and place a soft kiss there. I could just lean in, place a gentle kiss on her cheek. But I don’t. She’s warm, and kind, and although I have seen the lingering looks she’s given me, I’ve also noticed she’s kept a distance between us.
“Of course, I’m excited to see her again Thursday. Thank you for helping with the deck, that was such a huge task and you made it so easy.” She shuffles on her feet.
“You’re welcome. Have a good night, Lily.” I walk out her door, and down her driveway, the dim glow of the moon lighting my way.
“Goodnight, Thoren,” she says from the doorway. It isn’t until I’m rounding the small bend in her driveway that I see her front door shut in my rearview.
Thursday
Lily:
*picture of Shadow in the woods*
Lily:
We are going on an adventure before I sit down to write.
Thoren:
She is the best adventure buddy.
Lily:
*picture of Shadow on her back passed out*
Lily:
And the best writing buddy.
Thoren:
At least her snores aren’t disrupting you.
Friday
Thoren:
Shadow went right back to sleep after breakfast, you wore her out yesterday.
Lily:
Can I still get her today? I’m only writing and cleaning a bit.
Thoren:
Of course. You are always welcome at my home, Lily.
Lily:
Thank you. Looking forward to dinner tomorrow.
Thoren:
I’ve been looking forward to it since Tuesday.
Saturday
I might have messed up. On Thursday, Lily brought Shadow back right when I told her I get home, and I was able to see her gorgeous face. Friday, though, Shadow was already back home waiting for me. Did I freak Lily out by sounding too eager? Too desperate? I don’t want to appear desperate, but this woman already has my full attention. I might be out of my depth here, but I know who can help.
Bros & Hoe Group Chat
Thoren :
How do I cook a girl dinner but not be desperate about wanting her?
Jake :
Throw away the flowers, man.
Fuck . Am I that predictable? I glance at the bouquet I picked up this morning sitting on the island and cringe.
River :
Don’t throw them away. Put them on your counter or somewhere that looks like decor for you, not a gift for her.
Okay, I can work with that. I hate to waste perfectly good flowers.
Thoren :
What else? I’m making my cedar plank salmon. Nice button up shirt.
River :
Nope again. Clean tee and jeans. Clean house. No lit candles. Just a nice dinner and conversation.
Jake :
If it wasn’t said it’s a date, don’t make it one. You’re friends hanging out. You wouldn’t do that shit for me.
Thoren :
Okay, thanks. Gotta go.
Jake :
He’s gonna blow it.
River :
Guaranteed.
Jake :
It was nice knowing ya, Lily.
Thoren :
*middle finger picture with flowers in the background*
River :
You fucking called it Jake.
Their little faith in me hurts a little, but they aren’t wrong. I’m a relationship guy, and I want to make others happy. I know what I want and I go for it and will not apologize for it. So I’ll put the candles away, but the flowers are staying on the table.
I change into a clean pair of jeans and a red tee, before giving the counters one more wipe down and ensuring the wine is in the fridge. I know she’s bringing beer, but what if she doesn’t like it? Shadow knows something is happening, so she’s been dragging her favorite little purple dragon all over the house, her tail never stopping.
By five, I have the house clean and the food ready to grill. Shadow runs for the front door a moment before the doorbell rings. I smooth my shirt as I approach the front door, nudging Shadow aside to open it. Lily’s smile greets me, bright as ever. She has on a little red jumper that clings to her like a second skin, her hair is in a high ponytail and there’s the smallest bit of makeup on her face. My heart pounds in my chest as she holds up a 12-pack of beer.
“I bought a variety pack,” she states proudly. “The kid at the store said it has all the local favorites in it. He didn’t look twenty-one, so I didn’t ask how he knew.” Her eyes gradually peruse down my body, feeling like a heated touch at every inch they drop and rise again. “Hey look, we’re matching.”
My wide smile mirrors hers. “That sounds perfect,” I say, taking it from her and stepping to the side so she can come in. Shadow’s nose stays glued to the tote she is carrying as she walks through the house. It’s the same tote I gave her two weeks ago which makes me smile. “I know you’ve been inside to pick up Shadow, but if you haven’t snooped yet, this is my home.”
She peers into the living room before heading to the kitchen, setting her tote down. “I take offense to that. I have self-control and only peeked at your kitchen. Which is perfection, by the way.”
“Would you like a quick tour?”
Her eyes light up. “If you don’t mind. I know you said you did it all yourself and I’m dying to see what else you did if this is what your kitchen looks like.”
My chest puffs up, the pride seeping through my pores. Before I turn to lead her down the hall, I catch Shadow with her nose in the tote at Lily’s feet. “Shadow, knock it off. I’m sorry, I don’t know why she’s doing that.”
“Oh,” Lily laughs, reaching in there. “I almost forgot. I found a recipe for homemade dog treats and made some today.” She pulls out a small container with biscuits in misshapen hearts. “Is it okay if I give her one? The main ingredient is peanut butter, and it said it’s healthy for dogs.”
“You made her dog treats?” I look at Shadow, sitting patiently at her feet, tail wagging with a longing look aimed at the container.
“Yeah, is that okay? You can say no. I printed out the recipe in case you wanted to see the ingredient list but I researched first to make sure it was safe.” The hopeful look on her face is too cute, and I don’t doubt she did extensive research. It’s the fact that she did this selfless thing and included Shadow in our night that adds a pressure to my chest.
“That’s amazing, I’m sure she will love them.”
Lily bounces on her toes as she opens the container and holds one out to Shadow. We watch as my dog devours it, licking her chops and the floor in case of crumbs, before looking back up for another.
“Maybe for dessert,” Lily boops her nose, “We don’t want to spoil your dinner. Now I have to get a tour of this gorgeous house.”
My throat is dry, and I have to fight the urge to take her in my arms again. Some people see dogs as pets, but Shadow is my best friend. She was by my side the day Jen left, and has been my rock every day since. Seeing her being cherished by Lily means more to me than I can comprehend. “Let’s start down here. You’ve seen the kitchen, dining and living room, and down this hall I have an office, and half bath.” I show her the small bathroom I painted a deep moody blue with gold fixtures. We move to my office, which is nothing more than a desk, two half empty bookshelves and an old chair shoved in the corner. Tote bins packed with search and rescue items fill the other half of the room.
“Upstairs, I have three bedrooms and two full baths,” I explain as we make our way up. “This is the primary. You can check out the bathroom if you’d like, I did all the tiling and pipes myself.” She casually walks in my room that has slate gray walls. Jake made the walnut bed frame as a move-in present, and it’s covered with a light blue comforter. My dresser and nightstands are white and plain. As she heads to the bathroom, my heart rate kicks up. I want her to like it so she will let me help with hers.
“Oh my god,” she whispers as she walks further in.
I went a little moodier with the colors in here. In the corner is a freestanding tub directly below a large skylight. The shower is large and has white marble tiles with thick black and gray veining. Those same tiles cover the floor and match the marble counter on the double vanity. There is white wainscotting on the bottom of the walls and the same deep blue on top from the bathroom downstairs.
Lily turns her wide eyes to me. “You did all of this yourself?”
“I did.”
“It’s incredible. The large tiles are beautiful, and cohesive, and I am dreaming of sitting in that tub with the lights off at night to watch the stars.”
My mind starts conjuring up images of her soaking in my bath, her long hair draped over the edge, nipples sitting right below the water line. My cock twitches and hardens in my jeans. Turning around, I head back toward the room so I can discreetly adjust myself. “You can come kick me out and use it anytime you want. I know you don’t have a big tub at your place.”
Her laugh is light as she follows me back to the hall toward the guest room. “I might just take you up on that.”
Across the hall from the primary is the guest room. I open the door and flip on the light so she can see. It has sage green walls, a simple white bed and dresser, and a pink comforter. She looks at it in question before turning to me. “My mom helped decorate this room. The only people who have stayed in it are Jake and my brother, so the pink is staying, just for them. Actually, my mom helped with the living room too. If you see the pink throw in there, that was her.”
“That’s really sweet,” she says wistfully.
We walk back to the hall and I point to the third guest room. “That’s just an empty spare room, and this is the other bath up here.” I open the bathroom and hope she doesn’t ask to see that room. It’s a smaller room, painted a pale blue. I have hopes of turning it into a nursery, but until that happens, I like to keep it closed off.
Lily peeks in the last bathroom. It’s a little plain with white marble counters and oak cabinets. There are white subway tiles in the tub and shower combo, and black slate tiles on the floor. The walls are gray, and the shower curtain is the only real pop of color with a forest green. “Your house is wonderful, Thoren. You did such an incredible job and should be really proud of yourself.”
I lead Lily back downstairs, Shadow weaving between us. “Thank you. It was a labor of love, but I’m thrilled with how everything turned out.”