9. Thoren
CHAPTER NINE
thoren
T hursday morning, Jake and I are tasked with driving through local campgrounds and boat launch sites for safety and standard checks. He snags the keys off the hook for one of the ranger’s trucks before I can, stomping outside. He glances over as he turns to reverse from the spot, “Spill it.”
“Spill what?” I feign innocence.
“You returned my trailer when you knew I’d be gone last week for starters. Then you never filled River and I in on how Saturday went, and now you’ve been pensive all morning. I’m guessing it all has to do with Lily, so spill it.”
“I don’t know where to start.”
“Start with borrowing the trailer last week. How’d it go with the deck?”
“So well that she cooked me dinner as a thanks. She helped the entire time, never getting discouraged. So different from what I’m used to, ya know?” A small grin pops out, just thinking about spending that evening with her.
“Not to be a dick, but the bar isn’t exactly high to be better than Jen.” He gives me a pointed look as he turns into the campgrounds and slows our pace to a crawl. “How did Saturday night go? You fucking blew it, didn’t you?”
“No, it went really well, actually. I didn’t make it a date, and I didn’t give her the flowers. We had a nice meal together, and I answered all her baseball questions for her book. I told her I would take her to Seattle to see River play.”
His head whips to me again, shaking subtly. “Why would you do that, man?”
I take my time looking out the window, making sure there aren’t piles of trash laying around or any destroyed property. “It’s not like that with her. She didn’t ask to go, didn’t even ask to meet him. I offered it up.”
“I just don’t want to see you taken advantage of. You have plenty to offer on your own. Hell, don’t tell Riv, but I think you have more to offer someone. Make sure she’s in it for you. So, are you guys dating now?”
The sudden sting in my eyes is surprising. River is worth millions, plays professional baseball, and is genuinely a good guy. I know that isn’t everything in a relationship, but it makes a difference. Jen made sure to drive that point home frequently, comparing my brother and I anytime we fought. She made me feel like my love, devotion, and care for her would never be enough. I took care of her financially as well, but that still wasn’t enough. Having my best friend validate my worth doesn’t make up for all that, but it fills me with a warmth all the same.
“Nah, we clicked, and there is a definite connection there. She seems like she’s not interested in a relationship right now. I’m not really sure, but I don’t mind being her friend for now. I enjoy spending time with her, in any regard.”
He hums in answer, thinking it through. “Jen never deserved you, and I don’t want you holding onto something that might not be there for her. You deserve someone who fights for you,” his quiet voice is deep and filled with emotion.
“Hell, I knew you were a big fucking softie. Thanks man, but we are still just getting to know each other. All I know right now is I like her, and I want to spend more time with her.” I grip his shoulder. “You’re my best friend, and I appreciate you looking out for me.”
He keeps his eyes trained out the window, bobbing his head in acknowledgement as we patrol the rest of the area.
“Are you going to tell me the rest of it?” he asks, “Why you’re being a surly dick?”
“I’m not being a dick. I just…I don’t know. I took her hiking Tuesday afternoon. We went to the little waterfall Shadow loves, and it was going so well. Conversation was flowing, I held her hand, she took a dip in the water with me,” I note how he angles a brow at me. “No, she didn’t strip down, but she watched my every move as I stripped to my skivvies.”
He chuckles and shakes his head at me again. “Okay, so what was the problem?”
“We had this moment, in the water. Shadow shook all over her shirt, getting it soaked and dirty. You know Jen would have lost her shit at something like that. But Lily just touched my arm saying it was okay and laughed it off. I just stood there like a stunned jackass because all I could think was ‘I could really fall for this woman’. More than I already have, like truly fall in love with her without even trying.” I rub at the tightness in my chest. It’s too soon to be feeling like this. Too soon after Jen, too soon with Lily. Despite my head's reservations, my heart is wide open and ready for her.
I thought I was ready to be with someone again, but what if I’m not? I gave my all to Jen, and she ripped my heart to shreds before tossing me the pieces. It’s not that I’m not over her, because I am. It’s more that my heart is just learning to heal. I can’t risk someone pulling apart all the tape and glue I have been slapping on there.
“You’re afraid of getting hurt,” Jake guesses accurately.
“Yeah. I don’t know much about her past. What if I’m nothing like she normally goes for? What if she is still in love with her ex and she’s just hoping to be chased? What if she discovers that small town life doesn’t suit her after all?”
He’s quiet for another moment, looking at all the campsites we pass. It’s fairly clean, but that is typical for weekday campers, it’s the weekend only people who tend to make more of a ruckus and mess. “What if it all works out?”
That scares me as equally as if it doesn’t. It’s hard to focus on the possibility of it working out when the other side of that coin is getting my heart broken again.
“So what about you? Are you still getting orders left, right, and center?”
Jake rubs a hand down his face before answering. “Yeah, it’s kind of been crazy. I’m getting so many that I feel like I have to tell the showroom to put a sign on my work saying three to six months wait. I think it’s almost time for me to lose this job and build full-time.”
“Then do it. Don’t stick around on my account. We’ll still see each other, I’ll just come annoy the hell out of you at the shop.” He laughs, punching me in the shoulder. “I mean it. That’s been your goal all along. If the opportunity is there, then take it.”
“What if a year or two down the road the orders stop coming in, and it’s no longer a full time gig? I don’t want to tuck tail and beg for this job back.”
I throw his earlier words back at him, “Yeah, but what if they don’t and you succeed?”
With all the locations on our list checked off, we decide to stop for lunch in town. Just as we are sitting down with our loaded sausages, my phone rings. The office number lights up my screen, so I answer immediately.
“Hello?”
“Hey Thoren, where are you at right now?” Niles, one of the other rangers, asks.
“Just sat down with Jake for lunch in town. What’s up?”
“We might have a missing hiker. Someone called saying their friend went for an early morning hike, saying they would be back within two hours. That was five hours ago. Can you head back to the office to map out where she was and decide if your team needs to go out right away or not?” he asks, sounding concerned.
“We’ll head back to the office now, okay? Just write down everything you know and I’ll get on it. Thanks Niles.” I hang up and nod to Jake who is already getting up and grabbing a to-go container.
“Search and rescue?” He unlocks the truck and we hop in. Jake was the first one I told when this position was handed over to me. While I have been consistently volunteering with the team, Jake only does it here and there when he can. His support was overwhelming though, and really meant a lot. It’s intimidating taking on something that literally puts lives in your hand, but he has had my back the whole time, encouraging me.
“Possible missing hiker. I’ll know more once we get in, but they only went out this morning.”
“You worried?”
“Yeah. I never wanted this job. I want to run our department, not the SAR team. It’s a lot of pressure that I still don’t feel ready for,” I answer honestly.
“You’ll be okay, you’ve got a good team behind you. Plus, it’s only until they find a permanent replacement.”
“Thanks, man.” I grab my lunch as he pulls back into the office, and head in search of Niles. He’s posted up outside the conference room waiting for me, with papers spread all over the table. He’s new to the job, and even newer to the search and rescue team. So new, in fact, he hasn’t even been to one of the training sessions yet, hence his nerves.
“I’ve got the map laid out, with the location her car is at, as well as the approximate location her friend said she normally hikes to. The protocol is six hours right, then we go looking? Is it six hours from when she left, or six from when we are notified?”
I clap my hand on his shoulder attempting to calm him. “Take a breath, it’s always best to go into this with a clear head and a plan. After six hours of her being missing, we will start the search. I’m going to grab the list of who should be available today and then we can start planning out buddy searches and who goes where, okay?”
He trembles beneath my hand, but nods, taking a deep breath, then heads into the conference room. My next stop is my office to grab my laptop and SAR binder. Stacking my lunch on top, I make my way back to the conference room to join Niles to form a plan.
By the time we hit the six hour mark, I have nine volunteers on their way to the trailhead along with Niles and I, and four more able to take a shift or join us within four hours if we still haven’t found the hiker. Parking the truck next to the missing hiker’s SUV, I pull the cooler from the back seat and add it to the bins in the bed.
The cooler is filled with water, gatorades, and some protein bars. The bins in the bed are filled with some of our gear. There’s a sked, used for transporting injured persons, ready on the edge with one bin filled with a few spare backpacks filled with first aid kits, flashlights, knives, and other basic supplies. Another bin has walkie-talkies for all of us, one has ropes and harnesses. We aren’t really sure what type of rescue we will be looking at yet, so I brought a few basics for any scenario.
A few of my seasoned volunteers have their own backpacks, but the rest dig in to grab one from my truck. We all clip our walkie talkies in place, walking through our game plan and who will be buddies. I put Niles with me since he is new, and I know I have a lot of knowledge I can divulge as we search. As everyone grabs the last of their things, ready to hit the trail, Sherry pulls up.
“Hey everyone,” she sings out, waving like this is a fun get together. “So sorry I am late, I had to go home and get changed.”
It’s then I take in her outfit, from her miniscule shorts to her boobs spilling over the top of her tank top, a pound of makeup on her face. She wasn’t on the list of volunteers available today, so I had no idea she was coming.
“You know this could be an all-night rescue, right?” Kyle asks, staring at her outfit with disgust. “You’re going to get cold. We talked in the meeting how comfortable, but covering, clothes are best to help us with the elements. That tramping through bushes might be necessary.” He’s always been a straight shooter, and today I extra appreciate that about him.
“Don’t you worry, I have leggings and a sweater in the car, and these are my comfortable clothes,” she winks at me. “So who am I paired up with? Thoren, honey, are you free?”
“Nope,” I respond quickly, clapping Niles on the back. “Doing some training with Niles along the way, so it’s best you join a random group since everyone is already paired.” I look around the group as everyone looks anywhere but at Sherry. I’ll let them figure that out. “Alright everyone, you know the drill. We all have our zones, but never stray too far so everything gets searched. Hiker’s name is Kelsey, she’s thirty-six and knows these woods well according to her friend. Chances are high we are carrying her out so be ready for that. Anyone that needs a break, radio the group so we know where everyone is. Back up crews are ready if this ends up being a long night, but as long as you can stay for is greatly appreciated. Let’s go.”
I lead the group down the start of the trail, Niles hot on my heels. Before we get too far and I lose service, I send a quick text to Lily asking if she wouldn’t mind feeding Shadow dinner and letting her out to potty this evening if she doesn’t hear from me by six since I’m out on a SAR case. Her response is immediate, a photo of her and Shadow sitting on her porch, with a message saying good luck and that they will be having a ‘girls night’.
A smile breaks out on my face, both from her response and the photo. I hold my phone closer, admiring her stunning face with the biggest grin, blue eyes shining in the sunlight. When I volunteered with the SAR team previously, I always had to drop Shadow off with my parents or hope Jake was free to check on her. I take one last look at the photo before pocketing my phone and focus on getting Kelsey out of here safe and sound.