24. Lily
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
lily
I ’ve become accustomed to waking up wrapped in Thoren’s arms, and it’s a feeling I crave. I know he came to bed last night and was here at some point, but as I slide my hand over the sheets behind me, it’s fur that I find. Shadow’s tail thumps with the realization that I’m awake, and her cold nose pokes over my shoulder, nudging my cheek.
“Morning little lady,” I coo to her, as she moves her entire body weight to plop down on me. “Okay, not so little lady,” I wheeze out.
Her wet tongue licks every exposed inch of skin until I give up with a groan and roll her off me. She normally gets up with Thoren, but he must have left the bed before she was ready. I take care of my bladder and do a quick teeth brushing before I throw on one of his sweaters and head in search of coffee and my man.
Last night was a whirlwind of emotions and events, and having the time to think things over in the bath was unexpectedly nice. Evelyn is wonderful, and her maternal side shocked me. Despite having just met me, she was willing to be in my corner, and that’s something I never had until moving here. The love she has for her sons was expanded to include me without thought. How different my life might have turned out if I had parents like her and David who encouraged me to pursue my passions from day one. I would probably be further in my author journey, and I doubt I would have accepted attention from someone like Tyler. It’s no secret that people who weren’t raised in loving households seek out attention, often accepting less than they deserve. I know now that’s what I did, trying to please my parents by dating someone they would have approved of, as well as someone who showed even an ounce of interest in me.
If that were the case, though, I wouldn’t have moved here and met this ragtag crew of people. I can say with absolute certainty that I would be missing out without them in my life, even grumpy Jake. The love and acceptance I have found with them is something I have been seeking for years. The fact that his parents read my books and joke about what is in them means more to me than they will ever know.
When Thoren took me upstairs after dinner at his parent’s house, what he did to me… well, that was the last thing I expected to happen. The way he makes me feel so alive and cherished when doing depraved things is altering my brain chemistry. His grunts of pleasure as he came in his pants from getting me off were so hot, it sent shock waves of ecstasy through my body while I came down from my orgasm. I was riding such a spine tingling high when I shakily made my way back downstairs. I’m pretty sure his parents knew what happened upstairs, but they smiled sweetly and played naive. It was such a good night until that text came through.
I didn’t expect to hear from Tyler again, but his text sent me into a tailspin. He was demanding in his career and sometimes with me, but never threatening. His obvious threat scared me. It’s the reason I was cautious to fight in the first place. I feel bad that Thoren found out that way, but I’m glad he knows. He took care of me and ensured I was okay despite his anger.
There’s a half full pot of coffee, so I make myself a cup before stepping onto the deck in search of Thoren. My eyes turn at the sound of wood cracking, catching on his broad figure chopping wood. This might be my favorite look on him yet. Sweat drenches his white shirt, clinging to his muscular chest, while dirty work pants hug his legs, and suspenders stretch taut over his shoulders. He is exuding raw power as every muscle flexes and tenses with each swing of his axe.
I stand there a little too long, drooling over every inch of him, when I lock onto his face. He looks exhausted, with red eyes and a tortured expression. There’s a growing pile of cut wood next to him that must have taken a few hours at least. I track back inside to discard my coffee mug and grab him a cold water bottle.
Shadow slips outside with me this time, running straight to her dad. When he puts down his axe and glances up, our eyes connect and the vulnerability in his almost takes me out at the knees.
“Did you sleep at all last night?” I hand over the water, watching him guzzle the whole thing.
“No.”
“Is it because you’re mad at me?”
His head hangs as he sucks in a deep breath. “No, I’m not mad at you. I’m angry over him threatening you. I’m angry that he even put you in this position and got you fired. I’m sad that you didn’t want to come to me with the first text, and I’m angry with how I’m handling all of this.”
I can understand all that, although I don’t think he’s handling it wrong. He’s not taking his anger out on me, but I don’t think pushing himself past the brink of exhaustion is necessarily healthy either. “Take it out on me.”
“What?” his head whips up.
“You’re exhausted, and clearly this isn’t working if you’re still this upset. So take it out on me. I brought this pain into your life, let me be an outlet for it.”
“Baby, you don’t know what you’re asking.”
“I do. I’m not made of glass. Your hammer won’t break me, Thor.”
He wars with himself until the look in his eyes changes to something darker. His hands reach up, slowly pulling down one suspender and then the other as they hang at his sides. In one swift move, he pulls his shirt over his head and drapes it over the stump where he was splitting the logs.
“Bend over, hands on the stump.”
My pussy clenches at the authority in his voice. He has shown this feral, domineering side in bits, but I know he’s holding back. I don’t want him to, I want pain at his hands because I know it will be laced in pleasure. He doesn’t want to hurt me, but he wants to own me and I am ready for him to take it all. I stride over to the stump, doing exactly as he said.
His heavy footsteps fall behind me before his fingers grip the edge of my panties and pull until they tear. He tosses the pieces onto the stump next to me, the careless act sending a shiver down my spine. Rough hands firmly grip my ass, sliding up and over my back, taking his shirt I am wearing with it.
“If this is too much, you tell me to stop and I stop. Understand?”
“Yes, sir.”
A growl rips from his throat. “I will make you scream that pretty throat raw, and if you’re a good girl, I’ll soothe it with my cum.”
My pussy drips in anticipation, coupled with an edge of fear running through me. I’ve never done anything like this. Thoren is expanding my sexual horizon every time we are together and I have yet to experience something that hasn’t blown my mind. His hands rub down my back, landing back on my ass before disappearing.
Without warning, he smacks my ass hard, causing my whole body to lurch forward with the force of it. I whimper at the sting as he gently caresses it.
“Do you need it harder, princess? I said I want you to scream for me,” he grits out. The pain is there, but it’s not unbearable. He needs this, and I can take it for him. I like the thought of wearing his mark on me. I lean back, sticking my ass out further, and settle my feet better into the damp ground.
His sharp inhale is the only warning I have before he spanks me again, on the other cheek this time. The pain is enough to rip a cry from my lips.
“Three more.”
He rains the slaps down one after the other, as I scream out with each bite of his palm. His calloused hands rub gently, peppering kisses over each cheek, praising me until the sting from his slaps is gone.
“You’re dripping for me. Did you like that, Lily?” he asks, unzipping his pants with one hand while stroking his fingers through my wet lips with the other.
“Yes,” I hiss, as he reaches forward to stroke my clit.
“My good fucking girl.”
His hand disappears again, only to be replaced by the head of his hard cock as he strokes me, coating himself in me. He notches at the entrance, and with one hard thrust, he is fully seated inside me. I cry out at the sweet mix of pain and pleasure.
He takes me hard and fast, not waiting for me to adjust to his size, his hands gripping tight on my hips. At this angle, he can get deeper than he has been before. The stretch of his thick cock hits that special spot deliciously. His hips piston into me, drawing a mix of moans and cries from me.
“You look so pretty impaled on my cock. You take me so well, this hungry pussy squeezing me so tight,” his deep voice pants out.
He leans forward to grip my hair at the nape, pulling me up flush against him. That hand settles around my neck while the other dips down my stomach, finding my swollen clit. His fingers circle it furiously as he continues to pound into me.
“Please, Thor,” I beg for him to make me come.
“Come on my cock, baby. I need to feel you.”
With a pinch to my clit, I shatter. Blinding colors cloud my vision as the strongest orgasm I have ever had tears through my body. I scream out his name as he calls mine like a prayer, painting my insides with his cum. My body slumps against his, but he holds me in place effortlessly. Stroking his hands down my stomach, telling me how well I did and how proud he is of me.
When both of us have caught our breaths, he pulls out of me and scoops me in his arms. He carries me clumsily into the house, and then I notice his pants bunched around his thighs because he never fully removed them. Kicking off his boots, he lets the pants and boxers slide down his legs before taking the stairs two at a time. I hiss when he sets my bare ass on the cold counter to turn on the shower. He strips off his socks, then comes to pull his shirt off over my head. Large hands bracket me on the counter as he buries his face in my neck.
“I wasn’t too rough, was I?”
“No. It was the perfect amount of pain and pleasure. Feel free to do that again next time you’re upset.”
“Yeah?” His hot breath tickles my neck, “You liked that, dirty girl?”
“Mhmmm.”
He picks me up, carrying me straight into the warm spray of the shower. His gentle hands travel over my body, rubbing out my tight muscles as he washes me. Thoren takes his time scrubbing the shampoo into my hair before tilting my head back to rinse it out and doing it again with the conditioner. When he is satisfied that I am clean and relaxed, I take over doing the same for him.
By the time we step out of the shower, we are exhausted, so we crawl into bed naked together. I attach myself to his front while he holds me to him like he plans to never let go. My fingers trail lightly up and down his side while he rubs up and down my back.
“Are you still angry?”
“No, baby. Can I ask you something?”
“Anything,” I speak softly into his chest. I mean it, I want no secrets or hidden truths left between us. Anything that he wants to know, I want to tell him.
“Can you tell me about your relationship with Tyler? We haven’t really had an in-depth ‘this is our past’ talk.”
My hands stall before slowly resuming. “I didn’t date in high school. It was a mix of things; my strict parents, my desire to please them through good grades and extracurriculars, and I think my race played into it, too. Phoenix has a very small Asian population, and I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. I wasn’t a popular girl, and I had no problems keeping to myself. College was more of the same. I was a little timid and lived with my parents for the first two years. I had a one-night stand that took my virginity, which was a huge mistake. Then I started interning at the financial firm, and I met Tyler.
“He was older, and he paid attention to me. It was innocent, at first, but it eventually developed into something more. He was my first boyfriend, and I thought things were going well. It started with all the sweet things: flower deliveries, him showing up with dinner, telling me how beautiful I was, that kind of stuff.”
Thoren’s hands are still stroking up and down my back as I choke out the next part. “That didn’t last long, though. He still had his moments, but he wasn’t great with communication. He wouldn’t call or text as much. Sometimes he would stand me up when he was supposed to come over. Red flags started popping up, but I finally had someone that cared about me… that said he cared about me. I saw what I wanted to see. I wanted someone to love me and be proud of me, and he said all the right things. It took a while to see that those words were never backed up by actions. I stayed longer than I ever should have, and finding out he was still married was the best and worst thing to happen to me.”
Thoren is quiet, his hands never leaving my body. To my surprise, he doesn’t ask for more, or scold me for not leaving sooner. “Jen and I knew each other since we were kids, small town and all. She wasn’t interested in me, no girls were, but she was friendly. When I moved to Seattle for college, I started working out and filling out. Jake moved with me, and River was there, and between us three, I learned how to talk to women. I lost my virginity and had hook-ups. And yes, my dick got nicknamed the hammer.”
“Appropriately so,” I giggle. “That thing is the size of my forearm.”
He tickles my side, making me squirm. “When I moved back home, I looked like a completely different guy, and Jen latched onto me pretty quickly. She never left for college and loved talking about Seattle and city life. She wanted to take trips there all the time, asking to go see River’s games. She was a little materialistic about the things she liked, but I didn’t mind. I had the money to spend on her, so I did because it made her happy. There were some red flags; my family and friends were always cordial with her, but I could tell that was the extent of it. She never asked about my job or wanted to go hiking with me. When I bought this place, she made her distaste for it known. Still, I loved her. I planned for the future I wanted, that I thought she wanted, too. One day, she packed up and told me this small town wasn’t enough for her anymore.”
I hear what he doesn’t say. That he wasn’t enough for her anymore. Whether or not she said it, that’s what he felt. Looking up into his hazel eyes, I see the vulnerability and sadness there. Not for the loss of her, but for the future he wanted and the hurt he felt.
“You are enough, Thoren.” Reaching up, I wipe under his glassy eyes before scratching through his messy beard. “You have a kind heart and a soft soul. You fiercely protect those around you; you’re funny and witty. You’re an incredible friend, a caring son, a loving brother, and a partner beyond comparison. You. Are. Enough.”
One tear slips free from his dark lashes, bringing out the green flecks in his eyes. How can this man not see himself exactly how I do? Every single day, I am floored by him and what he does. I am going to make it my mission to get him to see just how worthy he is to have someone stay and fight for him.
“What does that future look like now?”
After clearing his throat, he looks up to the ceiling before answering, “The same, but different. I still want a wife and kids, a house filled with love and laughter, creating memories with each other to last a lifetime. I want that future here in this town, close to my parents, in this home that I built. When I saw that future before, I longed for it so deeply. It wasn’t until you entered my life that I realized I wanted those things in general, not with Jen. Now, when I see my future, I picture your belly swollen with our baby, rocking in a chair in your office that was meant to be a nursery. It’s you holding the hand of our little girl with silky black hair and Shadow at your side. My future is you, Lily.”
The lump in my throat is thick as the tears sting my eyes. “I’ve felt lost for so long. Like I’ve just been wandering through life looking for my purpose. Since the day I moved to Cedar Ridge, that purpose has slowly come into view. Every day, I feel like I am wandering closer to a future that I’ve always dreamed of. One where I can pursue my passion, feel alive, and be surrounded by people who truly see me and love me all the same. It’s clear now that I have been wandering to find you.”
Thoren pulls me on top of him, tangling his hands through my hair. His lips press against mine, hot and searing, pouring every ounce of the love that I know we both feel into it. Tyler gave me empty declarations of love, but Thoren gives me declarations of the future he plans to give, and shows me his love through every touch and every action. It’s overwhelming and frightening, but I think I’m ready for it. This man smoothed over the cracks I tried to mend on my own with every wordless gesture.
Our lips stay locked together, our passionate kisses turning into lazy and soft kisses as we enjoy being wrapped in each other's embrace. We stay that way until we both fall asleep and spend the rest of the weekend showing each other just how much we mean to one another.