Bonus Scene – Amber
“I get it now.”
Looking up at Jake, I cock an eyebrow. “What?”
“Thoren said coffee back here with Lily used to be the highlight of his day. Sitting here with you snuggled into my side, I get it. These evenings are mine too.”
My heart melts at the sweet things Jake says so openly now.
We still fight. Oh God, do we still fight, but I look forward to it.
His punishments usually push me to the edge of what I’m not sure I can handle, only to make me crave whatever depraved thing he introduces me to.
Like the spanking bench he made me last week.
He even added hooks on the bottom to cuff my hands in place.
Who knew I would like being tied up so much.
Living here with him, though, is everything I dreamed of and more. Natasha is also a huge fan, since she now rents out my studio space above the store. We’ve caught Colby slipping out of there a few mornings, which always leads to a sneaky fist bump from Jake. Silly boys.
The temperatures are dropping rapidly in the crisp fall evenings, but we still love to spend time on the swing after work.
I’ve never taken advantage of the beautiful colors and woods surrounding me before, but I never appreciated them like now.
Every breath I used to have to fight so hard for comes easy out here.
There’s no clawing to get out of the dark anymore, no waves trying to pull me under.
Jake has shown me how to sit at the edge, seeing the beauty in the struggle and appreciating the fight, all while knowing I have the calm shores to surround me now, with the people I love.
“Are you expecting someone?” Jake asks at the sound of a car door slamming and the crunch of gravel. I shake my head as we both get up and head inside to see who’s here.
To my surprise, it’s Evelyn’s sweet face that smiles at us when we open the door. “Hey, you two. Mind if I come in for a minute?”
I’ve been doing my best to check in on her.
Between Jake’s parents, Evelyn, and visiting Jana’s grave, our days are filled.
Since her hospitalization, she’s been as active as ever despite David giving us all clear signs he’s worried.
The blood clot cleared with medication, but Thoren swears there’s more going on with her health she’s not made us privy to. “Of course. What’s going on?”
She follows us into the living room, taking a seat on the couch.
“I have something for you. I wasn’t sure when the right time to give it was, but as I was watering my garden tonight, something happened.
The clouds parted for just a moment, letting the sun break through, and wouldn’t you know, it was directly on my rose bush.
As I walked over to see, I noticed this.
” Evelyn reaches into her large purse, pulling out a pink rose.
It’s beautiful, and upon closer inspection, it has a rare two blooms on the same stem.
“The rest of the bush is dead already, but this one here is perfect, and I knew it was Jana telling me it was time.”
My head snaps up to her, and Jake grips my thigh. “What?” I manage to squeak out.
Evelyn’s gaze is soft as she pulls out two envelopes and sets them on the coffee table, gently setting the rose on top.
“About a month before she passed, she asked me to write out these two letters for her. One for you, Amber, and one for the love of your life. It’s been the sweetest honor watching your love story unfold.
I know this is the time, and Jake is the man. ”
She gets up, squeezing Jake’s shoulder before dropping a kiss to my head. “Read them when you’re ready. She loved you so much, honey. Jana saw this future for you, she hoped and prayed she would get to see it, and I know she is looking down on you two with the biggest smile. I love you both.”
My hands are trembling and my heart is racing as I stare at the last words I have from my aunt. I don’t even realize Jake has gotten up to walk Evelyn to the door until he is squatting down in front of me, brushing my hair behind my ear.
“How are you doing, baby?”
“I, uh—” Choking on the words, I clear my throat before trying again. “I would like to read it now.”
“Okay. Would you like to take a blanket to the swing and read it out there? I can read mine in here, and when you’re done, you can tell me what you want to do.”
Not trusting my voice again, I nod, shaky fingers grabbing for the envelope with my name. On unsteady legs, I make my way back outside, curling onto the porch swing. Taking a deep breath, I open the letter.
My darling Amber,
You did it. You let someone in and found your passion in the person you were meant to be with, and I am so PROUD of you. The strength, trust, and effort it takes to allow someone in after so much trauma is no small feat. Yet here you are, doing it again.
How I wish I could have saved you from some of the hurt in your life. Instead, I know I am only adding to it. I love you. I love you like you’re my own, always have and always will. I’m so sorry I had to leave you before either of us were ready. But you’re strong. So damn strong, my beautiful girl.
I hope you’re following your dreams. If the store isn’t your dream, that’s okay.
All I ask is that you find what is. And let those friends of yours in.
I don’t know if you know this, but Michele and Lily visit me.
About twice a month, they sneak me in treats on days they know you can’t make it in. They love you, baby girl, so let them.
Now onto the love of your life. Show them that heart inside of you and let them see the scars.
I know your mom gave you plenty of them, but they are what make you a beautiful warrior.
A phoenix rising from the ashes. Let him see that side of you.
Let him see everything. Sharing the burdens of our hurt and trauma helps to lighten the load.
You deserve the very best in life, and I just know you have found it. A man that loves you through everything. Who makes you feel like the most important person in their life. Who supports and encourages you and pulls you out of your head when you need it.
I never married, so I don’t have much advice to give except this. Give him the love you only showed to me. Put your time and effort into loving the man that stands by your side through it all. You have a huge heart hidden down deep inside, and I hope you give it all to him.
I’m so proud of you. Of the woman you’ve become.
Of the battles you have fought and overcome.
Of the kindness you continue to show through it all.
And of the life I know you are building.
I am missing you, just know that I am by your side always.
Cheering you on for the good days and sitting on the swing with you on the bad ones.
I know you will have the best life, filled with love and laughter, and a joy like you’ve never known. The world made you hard, let this man make you soft again, baby girl. Love hard and deep, and keep fighting for the beautiful future I know you will have.
With all my love,
Mom