32. Octavia
OCTAVIA
“This is perfect,” Octavia said, tipping her head back on the edge of the hot tub as snowflakes drifted slowly down, the cold a stark contrast to the hot water.
Nathan sat across from her, gently massaging her feet as they rested on his thighs, and she sighed thinking that a girl could get used to a set up like this.
She studied him in the dim light while he watched her. This man, this powerful, talented man, wanted to be her teammate in a way she never expected.
They had talked more over dinner, forming a loose plan of what steps they needed to take to start this march toward change.
For Octavia it meant a lot of continuing education, and for Nathan it meant financial backing.
He’d already sent an email to his accountant expressing the desire to start a foundation.
He hadn’t given them any further information, opting to approach it from a curiosity standpoint.
Octavia had drafted a resignation letter, which was far more professional than she had wished to be.
She was excited about the future but was also worried about leaving something stable, even if she hated it.
There was also the element of running away from a situation instead of facing it head-on, instead of trying to force change within the firm that, like many others, ran on misogyny.
She felt like she had more of a chance to make a difference by taking cases like the current one than by trying to change things within an established firm where every partner and nearly every associate was a well-connected man more interested in winning a case than seeing another man face consequences for his actions.
“You’re quiet,” he observed, his hands stilling.
She shook her head. “I’m just thinking about…things.”
His eyebrow shot up. “Things?”
“Future things.”
“Yeah? Am I included in these future things?” he asked, slipping into the water and making his way around the tub to her.
“To my shock and ultimate delight, yes,” she admitted as he ran his nose along her jaw. “Nathan?”
“Yeah?” he asked, pulling back and giving her space to say whatever was on her mind.
Those words threatened to reveal themselves again. “Thank you again.”
“You don’t have to thank me every other hour, Autumn. I should be thanking you.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know if I’d be willing to take a stand if it wasn’t for you.
I’m not proud of that but…” He leaned back and sighed.
“I don’t know,” he said again. “Maybe I would have eventually. This kind of behaviour was never something I liked or encouraged. Maybe I would have said something eventually if you weren’t here.
I’m not a rookie anymore, I have influence in some spaces. ”
Octavia slid sideways and rested her head on his shoulder, reaching for his hand beneath the water. “This isn’t a problem a single person can change, Nathan,” she murmured. “If you had spoken up years ago, what would have happened?”
“Nothing to the guys most likely. I may have found myself traded or bouncing around the minors. Hard to say, but regardless of my talent, if I was seen as rocking the boat or disrupting the norm, I wouldn’t have been given much of a chance to do it for long.”
“And now?”
“I’ve got three years left on my contract. Millions stashed away. Brand deals with companies that would likely support me speaking up and, above all, influence. But most importantly,” he said, turning to her. “I’ve got you, and with you I feel like I can do just about anything.”
“Relax.” Octavia climbed into his lap. “You’re going to get lucky. You don’t have to give me any credit.”
She expected him to smile, but he only looked more serious.
“I mean it, Octavia. You factor into every decision I make, whether I realize it or not. I’ve never felt like this about anyone before.
I’ve liked women, but I have never been consumed by anyone the way you consume me.
I’m a good guy, but with you I want to be even better.
I don’t want my legacy to be that I was good at hockey.
I want it to be for something bigger. You give me the confidence to pursue that.
And I know this is all corny as hell, and I may be regretting sharing all these unfiltered thoughts as I’m trying to sleep tonight, but I—”
“I love you,” Octavia interrupted.
“What?” Nathan stammered, his eyes widening in shock. “Wh…what did you say?”
The confidence she’d said it with the first time seemed to have disappeared as she reached for those three words again.
It was odd considering he likely wasn’t going to be bothered by it.
He was basically confessing that he loved her without saying it.
But she’d never said those words to anyone before.
She had been convinced she wasn’t going to say them first this time around.
After all, Nathan had been the one who showed all his feelings first. He’s the one who had done all the legwork to get this relationship really going.
Maybe it was time for her to take the lead, though, so she inhaled deeply through her nose, took his beautiful face between her hands, looked him dead in the eye, and repeated herself. “I love you, Nathan Albertson.”
When he didn’t respond right away, she felt herself melting from the inside out. Was that something that could happen? Was it physically possible to do that?
He didn’t look upset, at least. She wasn’t even sure how to describe how he looked.
“I…” He paused and the melting sensation gave way to panic.
“You don’t have to say it back. I’ve just been thinking about saying it, and then I sort of just said it without thinking, but if you aren’t ready or—”
“If I’m not ready?” He shook his head as if in shock.
“Octavia, I love you. I love you in a way I didn’t even know was possible to love another person.
” She felt not just her cheeks heat, but her entire body at those words.
“I’ve been holding back those words for way too long because I was so freaked out I’d say them and scare you off. ”
“Really?”
Nathan laughed, sat up, and gently took her face in his hands.
“Octavia, how could you possibly doubt that I’ve been in love with you for an embarrassing amount of time?
And how could I not be? You’re brilliant, beautiful, thoughtful, and you make me happier than I’ve ever been.
I feel like I hit the fucking jackpot that you said yes to trying this thing with me. ”
“So it wasn’t just my bedroom skills that hooked you?”
“Don’t get me wrong, those are a nice bonus, but I wouldn’t care about them if you weren’t all those other things.
I love that we can fuck and then lie in bed having an intelligent conversation.
I’m obsessed with the fact I can sprawl you out on the kitchen island and do wicked things to you, then sit down and enjoy my coffee while you talk about your latest book.
The sex is nothing without all the other stuff.
And I’m sorry you got stood up, but fuck, I’ve never been so damn happy that someone else missed his shot. His loss has been my gain.”
“You know, for a hockey player, you’re very well-spoken.”
“What else am I good at, for ya know, a hockey player?” he asked, kneading her ass and pulling her harder against him.
Mornings at the cottage were quickly becoming Octavia’s favourite thing.
There was no sound of the city seeping in through the windows.
No sound of neighbours vacuuming, closing doors, yelling at their spouses or children.
The only thing she could hear was the soft sound of Nathan breathing next to her.
She was aware that come summer there would be the sound of boats and various other water activities, but she remembered loving mornings at the cottage as a kid.
She rolled out of bed quietly, looking over her shoulder to see if the shift had alerted Nathan to her exit, but he hadn’t moved at all.
They’d been up late talking, as if they had both expected time to run out.
The sex had been slow and Nathan had spent the entire time whispering that he loved her.
She’d heard those words before from men, but she had never felt them like she did with Nathan.
She slipped out of the room, making her way to the kitchen to put the coffee on, longing for a few uninterrupted moments of sitting in the big armchair that faced the lake.
It wasn’t that she needed time away from him, she just needed to sit with the past seventy-two hours.
Fuck, maybe even the last seven and a half weeks.
When the new year hit, she had still been in the I’ll never date a hockey player camp.
Now she wasn’t just dating one, she was in love with one.
She’d been chugging along at a job she didn’t like but hadn’t really thought about, and here she was sitting on her resignation letter with plans to start fresh.
She curled her legs up and readjusted the blanket before taking a sip of her coffee.
Octavia should be more concerned about all of this.
She had made attempts to put the brakes on and step back. But even she couldn’t deny how desperate she was to see Nathan after he got home from a road trip. She always acted like she was just needy for him physically, but she loved the quiet moments with him as much as the mind blowing orgasms.
The floor creaked behind her and she looked over her shoulder to discover a very attractive man leaning against the wall in nothing but grey sweatpants.
They stared at each other, smiling stupidly until Nathan pushed off the wall and walked slowly across the room.
“I didn’t want to disturb you.” He bent and kissed her forehead. “Morning, beautiful,” he said quietly against her skin, sending waves of pleasure washing across her body. “Can I interest you in a giant breakfast? I seem to have worked up an appetite last night,” he teased as he backed away.
“I could definitely eat.” She threw off the blanket to follow him to the kitchen because the only thing better than eating a meal prepared by a hot man was watching him make it.