Chapter 19
Elena
LORENZO TOOK ME TO THE MOST BEAUTIFUL RESTAURANT I HAVE EVER SEEN.
It almost felt as though we were in Italy.
The menu consisted of traditional Italian cuisine and the ambience was warm and inviting.
Lorenzo ordered a bottle of red wine to go with our mains and the most amazing tiramisu I’ve ever had.
At my request he ordered for us both. Having never eaten anything other than the usual lasagne, pizza and traditional Italian pastas, Lorenzo opted for something called Ossobuco alla Milanese, a slow braised veal shank served with risotto, smothered in a rich savoury sauce.
The meal was absolutely delicious. Despite the anxiety preceding dinner, Lorenzo proved to be an exceptional dinner companion, happily enlightening me on Italian cuisine, his heritage and even how his great grandfather had come to live in the US.
The conversation was easy and comfortable and I found myself pleasantly enjoying his company much more than anticipated.
Perhaps the grump of a man just lacked the basic social skills needed to engage in real life society given the fact that for the most part he was an introvert and somewhat of a recluse. Not to mention, a workaholic.
A pang of guilt tightens in my chest at having judged the poor man too harshly, especially since I myself am very much an introvert and quite fond of my privacy.
I soften my gaze as I look at him, absorbing the abundance of information he’s been sharing.
He really is remarkable, the full package.
As he speaks, I find myself multitasking, a skill I am most grateful for.
I listen to him attentively all while appreciating the flex of his jaw when he takes a bite and chews, I take it all in.
The small smile he gives me when I nod in understanding or acknowledge a bit of Italian history, the way his muscles twitch when he waves his arms around gesturing towards the paintings hanging on the stone walls, the tiny creases at the corners of his eyes when he smiles and the way he runs his hands, repeatedly through his thick black hair.
The man is a dream to look at and I find myself enraptured by his allure.
“So, you were born in the US then?”
“Si… Does that surprise you?”
“Not really, but you have a very distinct Italian accent for someone born in the US. It’s … unexpected.”
“Si, my parents, insisted on speaking only Italian at home and basically any place where we were together as a family. We spoke English at school and with our friends but at home, family outings and the likes, we only ever spoke Italian. Papa said it is vital to not forget our roots and to keep our Italian heritage alive, even here in the US.”
“Sounds like your father was an exceptional man, not unlike his son.”
I can tell by the small smile on his face that my compliment was a welcomed one and I find that I like how his smile makes me feel.
“Grazie, Elena. There is no greater compliment. My father was a great man and I can only hope that if I am half the man he was, I would do well in this world.” A shadow falls on his face as he continues.
“If only my brother felt the same. Tony and my father were never close.”
Reaching across the table, I place my hand on top of his and give it a small squeeze.
“You are a great man too Lorenzo. You have been through so much, love, loss, heartbreak… and through all of that, you still managed to build a small empire, take care of your son and remain a pillar of strength to everyone else. You’re a phenomenal man and a damn good father. You’re not such a bad boss either.”
I give him a warm smile and I can only hope he knows that I mean every word of it. I’m rewarded with that small almost half smile of his that I’ve come to love. I squeeze his hand again before withdrawing my own.
Lorenzo settles the bill and after leaving a very generous tip and thanking the waiting staff for their good service, we walk out of the restaurant.
Outside I am greeted with the chilly night air that causes goosebumps to prickle over my skin.
I wrap my arms around myself and shudder in the cold.
Lorenzo notices and immediately rids himself of his jacket and drapes it over me instead. Whoever said that chivalry was dead?
“Thank you.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t expect to leave the restaurant so late. I guess I just really enjoyed the company.”
“So, did I. This was nice. I had a lovely time.”
“As did I.”
Lorenzo parks the car in the garage and before I could even register that he had exited the car, he was already on my side opening the door for me and holding out his hand. I graciously accept and smile at him.
“Such chivalry Mr. Marino, one might think you were trying to woo me.”
His face pales a bit and he rubs the back of his neck, a little embarrassed, so I decide to put him out of his misery. Stepping closer to him I stand on my toes to whisper in his ear.
“It’s working.”
He steps back, a look of surprise on his face but he manages to compose himself.
“We should go inside. Wouldn’t want you to get cold.”
“No, we wouldn’t.”
We enter the house, its warm and cosy and such a relief to be out of the cold. I remove Lorenzo’s jacket and hand it back to him.
“Thank you, for all of this, the flowers, the chocolates, dinner. It was all wonderful.”
“You’re very easy to please Elena. You deserve so much more than chocolates and flowers.”
“Yes, well. I’m just going to head upstairs to change into something more comfortable and I think I’ll come down after for a cup of coffee. Would you like to join me?”
“I would love to.”
“Alright then, see you in a bit.”
I make my way upstairs to my bedroom and catch a glimpse of myself in the full-length mirror.
I stop for a moment to take in my reflection.
He said he liked this dress on me. I look at myself in the mirror, taking in the dress.
It’s white and has a corset style at the back that makes my waist look tiny, it has loose fabric at the front that cover my breasts with two drawstrings attached to the inside of the fabric that meet in between my breasts.
When the drawstring is pulled it gives the fabric a ruffled effect at the top and when you tie the two strings it pulls the girls together and up making them pop but keeping them secure in their confines.
It’s an innocent dress, not unlike the popular summer dress but it’s sexier.
I’m still appreciating my appearance when…
“You really do look ravishing in that dress.”
I must have jumped a foot in the air. Breathing heavy and clutching my hand to my chest I let out…
“Sweet baby Jesus! You almost gave me a heart attack. Don’t you knock?”
He has the audacity to look amused.
“I’m sorry, the door was open and I remembered something so I came up here to talk to you.”
“Oh, what is it?”
“About the other night… in my office. I still need to explain why I reacted the way I did.”
“Lorenzo, you don’t owe me any expla-”
“Yes, I do. You need to hear this.”
He looks flustered now and he runs his hands through his hair, resulting in tufts sticking up in every direction. It’s actually kind of adorable.
“I was in college when Victoria and I started dating. We were young, we fell in love. Sure, I’ve had other girls before her but nothing serious, just a fling here, a one-night stand at a party there, just fun, you know.”
I nod my head because, what else am I going to do? I’m not entirely sure I even want to hear this. I’m not even sure why he’s telling me any of this.
“But then Vic and I started dating and all the other stuff fell away. She was kind and intelligent, never got angry unlike some of my exes, never raised her voice. She was so understanding and supportive in everything I did. How could I not love her?”
“Lorenzo, I don’t understand what this has to do with me.”
“It has everything to do with you, don’t you see? I got married young, I loved my wife, I still love my wife unconditionally.”
I take note of how he describes his feelings for Victoria in the present tense. Like she never died six months ago.
“We were so close, the perfect couple. We were going to build an empire together. Then we had Angelo and it felt like my life was finally complete. I had everything that I always wanted, a beautiful wife, a wonderful baby boy, our dream home and my business was growing. We had it all, until…”
“Until the cancer.” I whispered the words mostly to myself but he heard them. Nodding his head he continues.
“Until the cancer. She went for tests, chemo, diet changes, experimental treatments, you name it, we did it but the cancer spread far and fast. She knew she was dying, I knew she was dying. She stopped taking the medication because it was making her too ill and she wanted to be lucid in the little time she had with us. We were robbed Elena.”
“Lorenzo, I’m so sorry for your loss, for Angelo’s loss, for everything that you had to endure.
Really, I truly am sorry for the heartbreak that you have felt and evidently still feel, but you owe me no explanation.
There is no need for you to pour your heart out like this to me. I’m just the nanny.”
“You’re more than that. So much more. What I’m trying to say here is…
In that time, I dated Vic, I never thought of another woman, never looked at any other woman.
Then we got married, I had women at work flirt with me, more than once but the temptation was never there.
Even after she died, I never felt the need for female companionship.
I never had the desire to sleep with anyone else not since we started dating, not during our marriage and not after her death. Until you!”
Well fuck! I’m not entirely sure how to react to that revelation.
Was that a statement or an accusation? Do I say sorry?
Do I resign? I have no clue what the hell to do in this situation.
I didn’t ask him to be attracted to me. I never seduced him.
If anything, for the most part I stayed well away from him. This is no way my fault.
“God damn Lorenzo. What do you expect me to do about that? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stir up feelings in you.”
“I know, Sirena. You are so frustratingly oblivious to your effect on me. On men in general. Have you not noticed the way the men were staring at you in the restaurant? I did, and I can’t even be mad about it because I see what they saw.”
“Uh Thank you?”
“Elena, you don’t understand, it’s only been six months since my wife died and I want you.
I hunger for you, I crave you, I yearn… for you.
There’s a fire inside of me that was sparked by you and I’m so fucking afraid that I might combust if it is not sated.
What kind of a man does that make me? To feel this strongly about a woman I’ve only just met? ”
“We’ve known each other for months.” I whisper.
“But I’ve wanted you from the first day I saw you in that restaurant. I knew the moment I saw your face… I was done for. Yet I hired you anyway because I’m selfish. What kind of a man does that make me?”
I need to tread carefully as I try to contemplate a response. I am uncertain as to whether he is willing me in, or warning me off, either way, we need a resolution. This can’t go on.