Wanted (Nightwolf Pack #2)

Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

C hance

A tap on my left shoulder causes me to turn to find Ms. Elsie, one of our pack elders standing over me. The smile on her face is so big that it makes her eyes disappear.

She gestures toward the dance floor.

I peer toward the spacious ballroom to see Chael, our alpha and my older brother, towering over his bride. The grin on his face is larger than Ms. Elsie’s. He holds Reese, his mate, so close to him that I doubt a sliver of air could pass between their two bodies.

My wolf purrs at the sight.

I ignore him and turn to Ms. Elsie, who continues to motion toward the dance floor. She wants me to dance.

I rise to my full height, take her hand, and bring it to my lips for a quick peck. Then I shake my head.

Her expression falls. “You haven’t danced to one song all night,” she reminds me. I give her shoulder a light squeeze.

“I have to check the premises again.”

Ms. Elsie frowns and folds her arms over her chest. “How many times are you going to do a security check?” She emphasizes her question with a stomp of her foot.

“As many times as it takes to ensure our pack’s safety.”

That’s my role as the lead beta of the Nightwolf pack. I protect us all.

Ms. Elsie narrows her eyes on me before shaking her finger my way. I study her lips for whatever she’s about to say next.

“One day you’re going to find your mate, and she will make you relax and enjoy everything around you.” She spreads out her arm, showcasing the members of our pack on the dance floor, seated at the surrounding tables, laughing and smiling at everyone or clapping to the music.

A rhythm I can’t hear but can feel from the vibrations the clapping sets off.

I look back at Ms. Elsie and bow my head before leaving. The flick of her lips tells me she must’ve sucked her tongue at my lack of response.

I give the marble dance floor and spacious ballroom my brother rented out for his wedding another glance. The rose pink and white decorations and flowers are beautifully done. The scent from the flowers isn’t too overpowering for my sensitive wolf nose.

Reese made sure not to choose bouquets that would be too much for our wolf senses. The double doors remain open, allowing the backdrop of the New Mexico mountains to be on full display. There’s nothing like the parade of colors that ignites the sky as the sun sets, taking the daytime with it.

I don’t know why, but my head pivots again, and my gaze lands on Chael and Reese. They’re still slow dancing, clinging to one another even though the rhythm of the clapping has changed to a more fast-paced beat.

They’re the only two who exist at this moment.

My wolf purrs again.

“Stop it,” I grit out. “We don’t have a mate,” he whines.

Ever since Chael found Reese, my fucking wolf has done this. Longing for something that was never supposed to be ours.

“We are the protectors of the pack,” I remind him. “The alpha has a mate with whom he’s creating a family.” I talk to my wolf as if he’s a person at times.

I tear my gaze away from Chael and Reese and continue toward the door.

“Where are you going?” A grinning Gloria moves in front of me. She bats her long, dark eyelashes and trails a finger up and down the length of my tuxedo jacket.

My wolf pushes out a harsh breath, as if to say, “not interested.” At least he and I are on one accord about something.

Gloria’s from a shifter from a nearby pack. She owns a small stationery store in town. And yeah, she and I have had something before. Moreso when I had an itch, she’d scratch it, and vice versa. I preferred to go to women outside of our pack for those needs.

Things could get messy if I fucked women in my pack. Especially since I knew I’d never mate anyone.

With Gloria, I know her deal. She’d never be interested in mating a broken wolf like me. Fuck? Sure.

Mate? Absolutely not.

Our thing worked.

Yet, as I stare down into her beautiful face, nothing inside of me stirs. My wolf feels more annoyed than anything else.

“I need to do a security check,” I tell her, taking her by the wrist and moving her hand away from me.

“Is that all you plan to do tonight?” She cocks her head sideways. Not for the first time I’m grateful I can’t hear what I guess would be a whine in her voice.

“Not tonight.” I sidestep her and go refocus on my intentions.

The safety of my pack. Nothing more. There’s no room for me to want anything else. Especially not with my brokenness.

As if on cue, the words of my father come spiraling back to me.

“You’re no good to any of us now!” he yells.

I can’t hear the words, but over the two weeks it’s taken me to recover, I’ve learned to read lips. I’ve always been a fast learner. A much-needed asset as the second-born son and rightful lead beta of the Nightwolf pack.

I can’t read everything he says exactly, but I can read enough to know that he’s telling me I’m useless now.

“A fucking wolf who can’t hear is bad enough,” he seethes. “But the main beta of our pack? Our defender! What good are you in this condition?”

“Papa, I-I just wanted ? —”

I feel the sting on the left side of my face. There’s no ringing in my ears, though. My sense of hearing is lost. Likely, forever, according to Dr. Drake, our pack’s physician.

It’s not until I see the red drops on the snow that I realize my nose is bleeding from his hit.

That recognition barely registers before I’m yanked back onto my feet. My father holds me up, his massive hand gripping my shirt as he forces me to stare up into his enraged eyes.

“What you want doesn’t fucking matter. It never did. You’re the beta. The spare. We only had you in case anything happened to your brother. Now look at you. A fucking invalid.”

He pushes me away from him with some much force, the momentum carries me head over heels. I come to a stop in a heap, barely able to catch my breath.

I don’t feel the freezing snow against my exposed skin. The pain from my bloodied nose doesn’t even register right now. But my father’s words…

‘The spare…only had you…a fucking invalid.”

My vision blurs. I blink once. Twice. A third time, and this time I squeeze my eyes so tight they ache. When I open them again, I see stars, but I won’t let the tears fall. I can’t show any more weakness.

I rise to my feet and look my father in the face.

“You can’t be the lead beta of this pack,” he says finally.

“I can!” Those are the first two words I’ve said since he brought me out to this snowy field, away from our pack.

“How?” he shouts. “You’re a fucking invalid! How are you going to be the protector of our pack? How are you…” He pauses.

I recoil from the disgusted look he gives me.

“…going to have your brother’s back to lead our pack into the next generation. Impossible!”

The sheer rage displayed on the lines between his brows, the redness of his skin tone despite its usual copper shade, and the clenched fists at his side all tell me the depths of which I’ve let my pack down.

“You can’t even protect yourself.”

This time, I know from the twitching of his hands that the blow is coming. At the last moment, I pivot my head away, softening the effect of the hit.

Still, I nearly fall a second time from the force. But I keep on my feet. I have to show him I’m still strong. In spite of the fact that I’ve lost my hearing. I can still become the wolf I was intended to be.

Again, my vision starts to go blurry but I won’t let the tears fall. This is my fault. If I had listened, remained inside with my pack during the thunderstorm, I never would’ve been underneath that tree.

Then the lightning wouldn’t have…

It’s no use thinking of the past. I can’t change my screw up.

“You haven’t even had your first shift yet,” my father acknowledges.

At nine, I, like most other shifters, have yet to have gone through the first shift.

“There’s a chance my wolf can hear,” I throw out hopefully. Even if my human ears can’t pick up sound, my wolf might still be able to.

Dear Mother Moon, please let it be so. I silently plead.

My wolf purrs inside of me, but I don’t know what that means. Since I’ve yet to go through the first shift, my wolf and I rarely communicate. I still don’t understand what its yips or growls or anything means. Maybe it’s trying to communicate that it can hear.

“And what if it can’t?” he asks, his top lip curling into a snarl.

“I can still be beta,” I insist. I quickly wipe the tears from my eyes and the trickle of blood that comes from my nose. I meet my father’s irate gaze.

“I’ll be the best beta the Nightwolf pack has ever known. I swear it on Mother Moon,” I declare.

This enrages my father even more. He bares his teeth and raises his hand as if to strike me for a third time.

But he suddenly stops. I don’t know what causes him to turn around until his body shifts, and I see my mother coming toward us. There’s a horrified expression on her face. Her blue eyes that always remind me of summer skies, shoot daggers at my father.

Because his back is to me, I have no idea what he’s saying. Yet, my mother demands to know why he’s brought me out here. She tells him, I should still be at home, recovering since I just got out of the pack’s hospital a few days ago.

“No, he’s not!” my mother shouts in response to whatever my father has just said to her.

My parents never argue. My father might be hard on us boys because he has to be. But he’s softer with her.

This is my fault.

I caused this.

If I had just listened. If only I hadn’t wanted to go out on my own that night. I swallow the lump in my throat as I realize my father is right. What I want doesn’t matter. It never did. I’m here to be the protector of the pack. Not the troublemaker.

“Stop it,” I say. “Please.” The plea comes out loud enough that my mother immediately stops yelling.

My father turns to me, his eyes still glittering in anger.

I can’t meet his gaze knowing the harm I’ve already caused my pack.

“I’m sorry,” I say as I lower my eyes on the snow at his feet. “I should’ve listened to you and never gone out while it was storming. I’ll do better. I will be the pack’s lead beta you birthed me to be.”

My mother says something, but her lips move too fast for me to understand. The way she moves past my father and comes to her knees in front of me, cupping my face, is enough to let me know she’s consoling me.

“Baby,” she says, holding my face. “This isn’t your fault.”

I want her words to be true. But when I look up at my father, behind her, I know what’s real. I did this. I’m deaf because of my stupid desire to go out into the rain. It cost me my hearing. And potentially caused the pack the protection of a worthy beta.

I shake my head and break away from my mother’s embrace. “I am the pack’s lead beta. I will work twice as hard to make up for my defects,” I promise.

The frown on my father’s lips speaks of his lack of belief.

“I will,” I say, stepping away from my mother. “I swear it.”

Father doesn’t speak. He folds his arms over his massive chest as if telling me to prove myself. Not with words but with action.

I nod, a silent vow that I will do just that. I head toward the training area that we’ve set up. If I am going to overcome my defect, I must get strong.

My father doesn’t stop me as I walk past him.

I take a handful of steps before a tug on my arm stops me. It’s my mother. She’s looking down at me with tears in her eyes, but a smile on her face.

“It’s late. Almost time for dinner. You can go train in the morning, if that’s what you want,” she says slowly enough so that I can read every word.

I shake my head.

“And after dinner, I can wash your hair. The traditional way that you always like.” She moves her hand from my arm to my long braid that falls over my shoulder. “You love it when I wash and braid your hair.”

Warmth spreads through me, remembering how much I love it when she runs her fingers through my hair. From scalp to tip, taking time to nourish every strand on my head with the cleaning solution, and then tenderly running a brush through it before braiding it. My Apache grandmother had taught her exactly how to care for Chael’s and my hair.

And then Christophe’s when he came along.

I want to say yes. To go back to the times of sitting between her knees as she told me stories or hummed a song from my ancestors while doing my hair.

Movement out of the corner of my eye makes me look over my shoulder. My father’s glaring at me. I’m instantly reminded of my promise.

“No.”

Her face drops the moment I pull away from her.

I look away.

“I’ll have dinner after I train.” She tries to reach for me, but I start off toward the training area. A look over my shoulder shows my father holding her back. He tells her something that I’m too far away to read. I turn away from the scene.

The pain in my mother’s eyes almost causes me to stumble from weakness in my knees. But I keep on. I might be defective now, but I won’t be weak. I will be the best beta the Nightwolves have ever known. I won’t make my father regret having me. Nor will I make my brother ashamed to have me by his side as he rules the pack when his time comes.

This is the silent vow I make as I trudge through the snow toward the training area.