5. Fenric
This was not how he’d imagined starting his day.
Tasty food. Poisoned. Death. Resurrected.
Yeah, he was ready to crawl back into bed and try it all again tomorrow, but that wasn’t an option.
He stumbled into the house and up the stairs to the bathroom, where he splashed some water on his face, then used a damp rag to wipe off the dried sweat and dirt from his time in the yard.
There was no point in attempting more; the house had one bathroom and the line was already forming behind him.
The grouchiest was Hapi because he was still covered in blood.
Once Fenric was as clean as he was going to get, he retreated to his room to find some clothes he hadn’t died in. Correction: clothes he hadn’t died in recently.
He’d just pulled on a new pair of trousers when a soft knocking came from his door. Fenric’s shoulders slumped and he nearly sighed. The sound was far too quiet to be any of his group, which meant it could be only one person.
Fenric jerked the door open to see Maxie standing on the other side, twisting his fingers together in front of him. His head hung low, so Fenric couldn’t see his face, but his ragged breaths meant the young man was on the verge of tears yet again.
“In.” He waved a hand for Maxie to enter while stepping aside.
Maxie shuffled inside like a man walking to the gallows.
Not only had he been kicked out of his home and buried alive on the other side of the kingdom, but his luck was bad enough that he’d almost poisoned a bunch of people who’d taken him in for the night.
Maybe Fenric should ask Malfas to run a spell to check if Maxie had been cursed by some pissed-off witch.
They did not need a curse in their house.
“What’s wrong?” Fenric crossed his arms over his bare chest and spread his legs, bracing himself for the flood that was undoubtedly going to be unleashed.
“I-I-I’m so very sorry.” Maxie gasped several times, the sob-choked words nearly becoming lost in all the other noise he was making. “I never meant to hurt anyone. Cook-cooking always helps me to relax and I wanted to do something to-to repay you for saving my life.”
Fenric let out the sigh he’d been holding in. “So you didn’t try to kill a houseful of villains as some heroic deed?”
“No!” Maxie’s wail would have impressed a banshee.
“You saved my life! I owe you everything. If you hadn’t rescued me, I would have suffocated, or at least starved to death, in that coffin.
” Maxie’s head snapped up, revealing large, red-rimmed eyes so puffy they were almost swollen shut.
Tears covered his blotchy face. It was hard to believe such a cute little guy could look so bad.
Fenric also learned he hadn’t braced well enough. Those woeful eyes stabbed him right in the heart, nearly knocking the breath from him. How was he supposed to kick Maxie out?
Fuck. What was he thinking? Possibly cursed and a poisoner. They needed to get Maxie out of the house this instant unless they all wanted to die a gruesome death not even Hapi could bring them back from.
But how could Fenric throw him out?
He was educated but helpless.
He was useless but eager to learn.
He was dangerous…but willing to do anything to stay.
Not to mention, the group still had the wager. If Fenric kicked him to the curb now, they’d never find out which of them was right.
Fenric violently shook his head and paced away from Maxie.
Unfortunately, the bedroom provided very little space to move, containing a pair of narrow twin beds pushed up against opposite walls and a small path between them.
He shared the room with Hapi, which meant the elf’s side of the room was kept tidy thanks to the skelebabies.
Fenric’s side was more of a pigsty of dirty clothes, crumpled wanted posters, and various tools of his trade.
“I would understand if you’d prefer I left. I’m sure no one wants to live with the person who very nearly murdered them,” Maxie mumbled.
“There’s no nearly about it. You did murder us,” Fenric griped, only to have Maxie draw in a shuddering breath that threatened to cause another flood of tears.
“Though it was accidental,” Fenric tacked on in an effort to shove a finger into the crack growing in the nearly formed dam holding back Maxie’s tears.
Clenching his teeth, Fenric balled up all the complicated emotions growing in his chest and shoved them down to the pit of his still-tender stomach.
Yeah, he didn’t appreciate being killed, but wasn’t this possibly a sign that Maxie could make a damn fine villain one day?
He could kill without trying! Just imagine what he could do if he actually put his mind to the task.
“Have the others asked you to leave?” Fenric inquired.
Maxie slowly shook his head, sending the golden-brown curls bobbing about his head. “No.”
By the gods, he could kill people with his heartbreaking sadness. That was plenty lethal, never mind his cooking. Fuck.
To whichever deity might be listening, don’t make him regret his next words.
“Then I’m not going to demand you leave either. You didn’t kill us on purpose, if your claims of no one else having tried your food are full truth.”
Maxie’s expression started to brighten. His shoulders straightened and he held his head high.
“As I said, I cooked a great deal in the past. It was my favorite thing to do in the—” He stopped sharply and swallowed hard.
“My favorite at home. However, I swear it’s as I said before.
I never deemed my food good enough for anyone else to try, so I-I didn’t know. ”
“And it’s not like he can poison himself.
” Malfas’s muffled voice came through the door and Fenric rolled his eyes.
He reached over and jerked the door open quickly, sending the nosy warlock nearly spilling over.
Malfas took a couple of stumbling steps to catch himself and grinned mischievously at Fenric.
“As I was saying, this little puppy’s poisoning skill isn’t based on ingredients but comes from an unknown, innate magical ability.
He’s probably been like this for years, with the power growing stronger as he aged or possibly due to his recent stress.
It was just unknown until now because no one had been permitted to eat the delicious but deadly food he cooked. ”
“Poison is expensive.”
Fenric glanced up to find Hapi leaning against the doorjamb in a languorous manner. He was probably listening to their conversation as he waited for Rain or Belstrom to get out of the bathroom.
“How expensive?” Fenric lifted one brow as lucrative ideas flitted through his mind.
“Very. And I’m just talking about the poisonous ingredients I need for my work.” Hapi pointed a finger at Maxie. “But he turns every day, inexpensive foods into poison without needing to introduce actual poisons like the rest of us.”
“But it’s not like you can use a poison muffin in a spell,” Fenric countered.
“Imagine this.” Malfas jumped back in front of Fenric and spread his hands as if he were going to break out some spell for his presentation.
“Say it costs half a copper to make a regular muffin. You sell it for one copper and get half a copper in profit. He makes a poison muffin for half a copper using the same ingredients as a regular muffin, and you can sell it for twenty times the price of a regular muffin.”
“Possibly even fifty times,” Hapi added.
“And who’s going to buy a death muffin?” Fenric sneered.
“A wife who’s pissed at her cheating husband. A worker angry at his boss. Someone who hates his neighbor. A husband who wants to get rid of his old wife so he can get a new, young one. A child who hates their abusive parents. Anyone.” Malfas counted each one off on his fingers.
“Everyone,” Hapi said with a smirk.
They made this sound so very good. Money was the one thing they were always short on.
There was never enough coin to go around.
Not to mention, they were still desperately saving to buy their own secret lair.
How could they ever become the most powerful group of villains if they didn’t have a damn lair?
Fenric glanced at Maxie to see the first hints of hopefulness blooming in his too-large eyes. “You really want to join us?”
“Yes! Very much, yes! I want to join you, learn all your skills, and become one of the greatest villains of all time,” Maxie said, rising on the balls of his feet so that he was almost bouncing with excitement.
“And you’re okay with becoming an expert poisoner?”
“You should,” Malfas coaxed. “It might not seem glamorous, but it is an occupation in very high demand. It takes a very skilled, intelligent, patient person to become an expert poisoner. Though you have a stunning magic skill, you would also need to learn the various types of poisonous plants, animal venoms, and deadly minerals to be considered an expert. There are also the different degrees of poisoning—from instant death to slow and gruesome to just a bad case of the runs. However, there are plenty of people in the world who would much rather die than have a bad case of the runs. No one wants to shit—”
“Okay!” Fenric cut in, not wanting to hear more of Malfas’s ramble.
Maxie covered his mouth, but it didn’t completely smother his giggles.
The young man quickly lowered his hand again and appeared serious, which Fenric didn’t buy.
“Are you okay with that one”— he paused to point at Malfas—“and that one,” he continued, his finger moving to Hapi, “being your teachers? I don’t use poison much in my jobs. ”
“Yes, I would be honored to study under the expert tutelage of Malfas and Hapi. I swear to you I will be your very best student and thoroughly apply myself to the endeavor.” Maxie crossed the short distance to stand in front of Malfas, bouncing on his feet.
Fenric suspected if Maxie had a tail, he would be wagging it right now.
“Excellent, but…” Malfas winced.
“What?” Fenric snapped as Maxie started to wilt before their eyes.
“Can we start studies tomorrow? I’m supposed to run into town.”
“Still?”
“It’s rankings day and it’s my turn to retrieve a copy of the list.” He squeezed the words out in a tight voice, like he was barely holding in his own excitement.
Fenric groaned. “Yeah, yeah. Go. But can you use a mending spell on Puppy’s clothes before you leave? Hapi’s skelebabies need to do a load of laundry after this morning’s excitement, and Puppy’s clothes are still covered in grave dirt.”
“Oh! Yes. Yes, of course.” Malfas motioned for Maxie to accompany him across the hall to the room he shared with Rain, his mouth already spewing out a hundred words for every breath. Maxie nodded vigorously, soaking in every word. Or at least trying to.
“So, you’re not kicking him out?” Hapi said, a hint of mocking in his tone. Fenric’s head snapped up to the elf he’d almost forgotten still leaned against the doorjamb. “After he killed you.”
“If I remember correctly, you were the one who stabbed me in the heart, and that wasn’t the first time. Yet I’m still willing to share a room with you at night.”
Hapi shrugged and said nothing. He didn’t have to. Fenric had known Hapi for years and the elf had always resurrected him.
“Besides, a skilled poisoner could take us to the next level. Puppy could finally get us on the list. We’ve all got things we want to get done. Puppy could make those tasks a bit easier, even if it’s just by bringing in a lot more coin.”
“Agreed,” Hapi murmured, losing his mocking tone. “The items I’m forced to buy in shops are not easy to come by or cheap.”
“And think of all the ways he can make you fresh corpses.” Fenric almost immediately dropped his teasing.
“But we’ve got to find a way to get his powers under control.
Test exactly how deadly he is and see if we can lessen it under some circumstances.
Do you think you and Malfas can come up with a way of testing his poisons without needing to actually give his food to living people? Namely us.”
Hapi remained perfectly still, his bright blue eyes staring off into the distance as if he were mentally reviewing various ideas.
After a moment, he blinked and nodded. “Yes, I think Malfas and I should be able to come up with something. Besides, I don’t want to keep wasting all my expensive ingredients, magic, and time on you lot. ”
Yeah, and Fenric didn’t want to keep dying.