Chapter 18
JOHN
Istill can’t believe that any of this is actually happening.
It was one thing to read the list of things Chad might be interested in exploring, but no part of me was prepared to come home to find him completely naked and kneeling on my bedroom floor with the intent of submitting to me.
It took every ounce of self-restraint I had to force myself to check in with him, to make sure he knew what he was doing and was actually enjoying it.
And fuck, does he seem to be enjoying it. Not just the idea of submission either, but he was calmer than I’ve ever known him to be when he was warming my cock. He relaxed into it almost immediately, even if he seemed to be overthinking it at times.
I keep trying to remind myself that this is all brand new to him, that I need to take things slow, but as I watch him confidently crawl away from me toward the bed, it’s very difficult to remember.
It’s hard to focus on anything other than how fucking perfect Chad is right now.
His chiseled, naked body on display doesn’t seem real, and he’s doing exactly what I asked him to, following my directions with the confidence of someone who’s enjoyed this dynamic for years, not someone who’s trying it out for the very first time.
But I told Chad I was punishing him, that I would edge him, so I need to focus on that.
Cockwarming isn’t a punishment, but I thought it would be a nice way to ease him into restraining himself and holding still.
I’ll probably need to redo that whole estimate tomorrow, but sitting at my desk, working with Chad’s mouth around me, really fucking did it for me.
A scene directly out of my fantasies that I’m eager to repeat.
“Stay there and don’t move,” I demand. “I’ll be right back.”
I adjust my boxers so they’re back on properly, not that they’re doing anything to hide my erection, and quickly run downstairs to grab a few things.
Chad being a beginner to the world of BDSM is a bigger turn on than I’d realized.
I like the idea of being the first person he tries things with, of being the one to teach him and help him figure out exactly what it is he enjoys.
I won’t be admitting that to him though.
I leave my supplies on a hall table just outside my room so he doesn’t see them. When I get back, I’m pleasantly surprised to find Chad is still in the same position I left him in.
“Is it reward time?” he asks hopefully, staring up at me from his spot kneeling next to the bed.
I huff out a laugh before taunting him. “You think that was your punishment? Did you not like having my cock in your mouth?”
“No, I did!” he hurries to correct me. “I wanted to do more. I thought being still and not being able to touch myself was the punishment.”
I smirk and shake my head as I approach him.
“That wasn't even close to a punishment, Princess.
That was you keeping my cock warm while I finished my workday since you didn't have the patience to wait for me to be done before you decided to strip out of your clothes and tempt me with your perfect body.”
His smile grows with the compliment, just like I expected it to. I like being the one to make him look like that, so happy, so excited about what we’re doing. And fuck, he really does seem to love this.
Is there any chance he’ll still be this eager once the novelty of it all wears off?
Could we actually be as good together as tonight’s making it seem for longer than I’ve assumed?
Shit. I told him he was thinking too much, and now I’m doing the same damn thing.
I haven’t thought this much about the future in years.
I can worry about it again tomorrow. For now, I have Chad naked on my floor, staring up at me expectantly, waiting for me to punish him; I shouldn’t be thinking about anything else.
“Now the real edging begins,” I promise with a wicked smile. “You can lay down on the bed.”
His brows are scrunched together with his confusion, but there’s no hesitation in his movements as he climbs onto the bed and rests back on my pillows.
I open the hidden storage compartment that’s built into my bedframe and remove a long strand of black silk before holding it up for Chad to see. “Do you still want me to blindfold you?”
“Yes,” he answers on a breathy exhale.
“And do you still want me to physically restrain you?” I check as I grab some of the soft nylon rope from the same compartment. He nods, and I make a tsking sound. “We’ve talked about this, Chad. I need you to use your words.”
“Yes. Absolutely yes.”
He sits up, and I carefully tie the fabric around his head to cut off his vision, making sure there are no gaps for him to see through, but that it isn’t too tight.
I help him lie back again before tying each wrist to a bedpost of my headboard using a non-collapsing cuff knot that he won’t be able to accidentally tighten by pulling on it, and make sure two of my fingers fit in the gap.
“If you change your mind at any point, what do you say?”
“Red,” he answers confidently. “But this is all still very green. I’m so turned on right now, holy shit. I don’t know how much longer I’ll last.”
He can’t see me now, so I lean in close to his ear to whisper my reply. “I thought you wanted to be a good boy for me?”
He lets out the most satisfying whimper. “Holy shit, John. I don’t even think you’ll need to touch my dick.”
“As fun as that sounds,” I begin in a dry tone, “finishing quickly isn’t really the point tonight. If your arms or hands start to tingle or hurt, let me know immediately.”
He takes a few quick deep breaths, obviously trying to calm down, and I take a moment to rearrange my supplies.
If he really is that close to finishing, I need to be purposeful with what I start with.
I eye the large bowl of ice I brought upstairs and add a couple of metal butt plugs to it before getting the soy candle and lighter ready.
All of this was marked as things he wanted to try on his kink wish list, and I know how much Chad loves surprises, so I don’t give him any further warnings about what I have planned.
It doesn’t take long for the metal to cool down, so when everything is ready and positioned in reach, I join Chad on the bed.
He’s in a spread-eagle pose even though only his arms are restrained, and I start by kissing his inner thigh just above the knee.
He jerks slightly with the first press of my lips to his skin before relaxing further into the bed, but I know that won’t last long.
I trail a few more kisses up his leg as I grab one of the metal toys, wiping it off and testing it quickly to make sure the temperature is what I want before replacing my mouth on his thigh with the cold metal.
He screams.
It’s not that cold, I don’t want to hurt him, but without his vision or any idea of what I’m doing, I’m sure it was a surprise. I bite back my laugh. Maybe I really am just an asshole, but I love this. Love the sense of power and control I know I have in this moment.
“What the fuck was that?” he practically screeches.
He didn’t say red though, so rather than answer, I drag the toy along his thigh even higher up on his leg, then go back to kissing his cooled skin.
“Oh my God, this is intense. Was that ice? Are we doing another kink?” I smile to myself at how excited he sounds.
While Chad is rambling, I light the candle and allow some wax to pool at the top.
His whole body practically arches off the bed when I carefully drip the hot wax onto his lower abdomen, cutting off his ramble.
“Ahh—ughh.” His exclamation morphs from a cry to a groan. His chest is heaving with his effort to breathe, and his swollen cock is still rock hard as it jumps slightly, straining up toward his abdomen. He’s so fucking responsive, and it’s utterly captivating to witness.
“It was actually a cooled metal butt plug,” I answer his previous question conversationally. “And that was candle wax.”
“A butt plug? Are you going to put a frozen butt plug in my ass?” he asks, but his tone sounds more curious than opposed.
“Not today,” I answer with a laugh. “You still good?”
“So, so good. I mean, obviously the wax hurt for a second, but it cooled really quickly, and then it felt… nice.”
I smile again at his answer, pleased that his dopamine response to the slight, fleeting pain seems to be a positive one. Then I take a cooled toy and circle his pec around his nipple without actually touching it, and he whimpers again.
Fuck, those sounds he makes are such a turn-on.
I squeeze my own dick through my boxers before giving up on that idea and stripping down entirely, taking my time to really build up the anticipation for Chad, who’s visibly squirming in place.
He’s also smiling, far bigger than anyone who’s restrained and blindfolded has a right to be, which is very Chad.
My past experiences with BDSM were all very…
serious? I’m not sure if that’s the right word, but those scenes and the roles we played in them were all carefully mapped out and planned.
And I really liked those experiences. They helped me enjoy sex for the first time after losing Luke, to enjoy just being alive even.
It gave me a sense of control when my life felt like it had completely fallen apart.
Doing this now with Chad, though, is different. So different. He’s so easygoing, so happy and enthusiastic, it bleeds into everything he does, including BDSM apparently, making this feel like a more casual, hell, a more fun experience than I’m used to.