Chapter 24
JOHN
Ishould pull away.
The sex tonight was amazing, and I don’t think Chad ever really let go enough to get into any sort of subspace, so there’s no need for me to be concerned that he’s about to crash out or anything, and I still did aftercare already in the shower.
So, I should ask him to leave.
I shouldn’t be cuddling him, pulling him closer into my arms, finding comfort in the fact that he smells like me after using my shower products.
Just because I’ve finally admitted to myself that I care about him as more than just someone I’m sleeping with, doesn’t mean I should throw out the rules we’ve had in place. They’re there to protect us both.
And at this point, I think Chad does need to be protected from me.
Because now that I’ve come to terms with the idea that I really want him, every part of me is screaming to officially claim him.
Those potential bruises he mentioned? I need to see them.
I want to put even more on him. I want to bite him and leave my marks all over his body.
I want to tattoo each of them into his skin forever so they never disappear and everyone can know that Chad is mine.
But I know none of that is a good idea.
Today, with my freakout that I think might have been a panic attack, it’s more obvious than ever that I’m not good enough for Chad. I’m too broken, too grumpy as he likes to say, too stuck in the past to ever give him the future he deserves.
So I should pull away. Maintain boundaries and distance.
I know all of that, but I don’t want to.
He feels too good in my arms for me to want to pull away. So I don’t. I’m not strong enough. Instead, I pull him in closer to me and bask in his warm presence while I can.
“Sorry, John,” he says through a yawn. “I should go so I don’t drive home too tired.”
“Don’t…” I hear myself say firmly before I even think to respond any other way.
“Don’t?” he repeats, obviously confused.
I squeeze him ever so slightly closer to me in the bed. I shouldn’t have said anything, I should have let him go. No matter how good it feels to have him in my arms.
But then I have an idea. “I’m not done with you,” I explain. I shift in the bed so we’re no longer spooning. He’s on his back now, and I slide down until I’m between his legs.
“What are you doing?” he asks with a laugh.
“I promised you days with multiple orgasms. Did you want me to tie you to the bed again? Or do you want the way my mouth is wrapped around your cock to be the only thing for you to be able to focus on?”
“Holy shit, definitely that one!”
His blue eyes look somehow brighter, shining with how big his smile is. He’s so excited at the idea of my mouth on him, and despite my best efforts to ignore the feeling, pride overwhelms me knowing that I’m the one making him so happy.
We’re both already naked, so I wrap my hand around the base of his thickening cock to hold it steady and bring my lips to the tip, sucking him slowly into my mouth. I relax and breathe through my nose, taking him inch by inch until he’s in my throat, and I’m swallowing around him.
“Fuck, oh my God!” he cries out, already squirming. “You’re so good at that, John. Shit.”
I pull back and work his now spit-covered dick with my hand while I look up at him with a smug smile. “How many more times do you think you can come tonight?”
He lets out a surprised laugh at my question before answering. “I don’t know, maybe one more.”
I make a tsking noise as I shake my head. “We’re young. You have to be the fittest person I’ve ever met. Let’s go for two more.”
He sucks in a sharp breath as I bring my mouth back to his now very hard dick.
I swirl my tongue around the tip, lapping at the slit before focusing my attention on the sensitive spot just below the head that has him moaning every time I lick it.
I pull back and spit, adding more lubrication as I work the base with my fist in a tight grip, twisting and squeezing.
I look up at him from my spot between his thighs, and he immediately meets my gaze, staring down at me adoringly. “In case it wasn’t clear, you can come whenever you’d like tonight, Princess,” I remind him, and then I double down on my efforts.
He’s already leaking into my mouth, and I try to memorize the taste of him.
I don’t think he knows what to do with his hands, because he alternates between fisting the sheets and lifting them above his head as though he isn’t sure if he can touch me even though his dick is literally inside my mouth.
His avoidance makes it abundantly clear to me that I really want him to touch me though.
Fucking him in the kitchen earlier did help to settle some of the panic I’d been feeling. Having him in my grip while I pounded into him was the reminder I needed that Chad is healthy and strong. He’s fucking perfect.
This is different though. I know I’m not good enough to act on all the possessive thoughts I’m having about Chad, but for right now, he’s in my bed, trusting me to make him feel good, and I want to enjoy every moment of it that I can.
I want to use our time together—no matter how much of it we have left—to show him that he deserves every moment of happiness and pleasure he can get, and exactly what that might look like when it comes to sex.
If he wants to touch my head, grab my hair, anything, while I swallow his cock, then he shouldn’t hold back. Whatever he wants, I want him to have it.
Reaching up, I find his hand with my free one and guide it to my head, pulling off just long enough to say, “Don’t hold back, Chad.” His grip tightens in my hair for a moment before he removes the hair tie entirely so he can fist the long strands.
“Your hair is so sexy” he murmurs between moans. “So are your tattoos… oh fuck! Right there… and your piercings.” I reach up to squeeze his pec before I pinch his nipple, and his whole back arches into the touch. “Fuuuck. Oh my God. I’m so close already. How do you do that to me?”
His rambling only spurs me on more. I increase the speed of my motions, both with my hand on his shaft and with my head moving up and down so he can effectively fuck into my throat.
When I reach over to pinch his other nipple, Chad lets out another loud cry, and I swallow down his release as his cock jerks in my mouth, shooting down my throat. He’s panting, trying to catch his breath as he sinks into the bed.
My dick is rock hard, but I ignore it. I want to prove to Chad that he can come again despite the fact that he’s already had two orgasms tonight. I know it might take some time, but I never want him to settle, and stopping right now would feel like I’ve failed him.
I pop off his cock, but I don’t let go, taking my time to lick every inch of him clean, moaning around him as I do. He squirms even more. I know he’s sensitive right now, and when I’ve swallowed all the evidence of his release, he whines. “John. Oh my God. Please. I can’t come again.”
“Yes, you can. I’ve got time,” I assure him, winking when he meets my gaze.
And I do. I’m in no rush so I tease him a bit more.
He’s lying back on the bed, and I lean in to suck hard at the spot low on his groin, just above his cock.
He lets out a whimper, and when I’m satisfied that my mouth will have left a mark, I pull off him to admire my work.
I want to do so much more. I want to cover him in my bruises, but I shouldn’t.
This one will be easily covered by his underwear so no one will ever have to see it. I should leave it at that.
He sits forward, a move that has his abs flexing, drawing my attention to each taunting curve of his muscles.
I want to mark them all. When I finally force my gaze away from the hickey to meet his gaze, his eyes are hooded as though he’s struggling to keep them open, but they’re burning with heat too.
“More, please,” he whispers. How can I deny him when he asks so nicely?
So I get to work sucking, licking, and biting up Chad’s abs, just like I wanted to. I nip at his collarbone and massage his pecs before sucking his nipple into my mouth. When it’s hard under my tongue, I bite there too, and the cry he lets out is more beautiful than any music I’ve ever heard.
“Do you want me to stop?” I ask softly, leaning close to his ear.
He immediately shakes his head. “No, please don’t.”
“Do you want me to leave a mark where it’ll be harder to hide?
Where other people will see and know what I did to you?
” I can’t stop the words from falling from my mouth.
I shouldn’t want that. It’s the opposite of what I told myself tonight would be.
I don’t have any right to try to publicly claim Chad.
But when he immediately responds with a breathy, “Yes, Sir. Please do,” it’s impossible to deny him.
I wrap my tattooed hand around his neck, being careful not to put any pressure on his airway as I rub my thumb over the clean skin, once again fantasizing about permanently marking him.
I know I can’t, but I’m selfish, and I’ll take what I can get, so I take my time as I bring my lips to his pulse and suck as hard as I dare, making sure to leave a beautiful bruise there.
When I think I’ve taken enough time exploring his body and marking him, I move lower once again.
I pass his dick, which looks like it might be starting to perk up again, and help guide his legs up.
I take time to lick and kiss and suck at his taint before I push his legs even further, all the way back toward his chest to give me better access to his hole.
He whimpers as I lick at his hole, circling it with my tongue, and leaving sloppy kisses.
I suck and rub my finger against his taint and then his hole, all the while never pushing inside of him.
After a few minutes, he finally relaxes into my attention, giving over to the pleasure, and only then do I use my tongue to slowly push inside of him.
“Jooohn,” he moans my name as I push a finger in alongside my tongue.
I’m not prepping him, even with as turned on as I am, nothing will make me happier than getting another orgasm out of Chad when he isn’t sure he can do it.
So I add another finger and twist my wrist until I find the spot that has him crying out even louder than before. “Fuuuck, right there. Oh my God.”
I watch his face, twisted up in pleasure as I massage his prostate, rubbing and tapping, alternating the movements to try to drive him as wild as I can.
His hips are shifting to try to meet the motion of my hand, and he looks completely wrecked as he chases the release he thought would be impossible for him to have.
“God, you look so fucking pretty right now on my hand. Squirming with your dick already hard again.” His eyes fly open to meet my gaze, hanging on every word even with how unfocused and dazed he seems. “I knew you could do it, Chad. You’re such a good boy for me.”
“Fuck… Oh my God… Oh my God…” He whimpers between pants, and as I add a bit of pressure, his dick jerks.
So I spit in my hand and wrap it back around his straining cock as I look him right in the eyes and order, “Come for me.”
His whole body arches as he cries out incoherently. His dick pulses in my grip as his release covers my hand, and I have the fleeting thought that I’ll never see anything more beautiful in this world than Chad coming.
I lick his cum off my hand, partially so I don’t need to leave him alone, but also because I want to, and I reposition us so that he’s lying with his head on my chest, tucked in tight to me.
I don’t care that I didn’t come again. I got everything I needed tonight.
I run my fingers through his hair as he drifts off to sleep. He seems pretty out of it, so I don’t think he’ll retain any of what I say, but as I pet him, I murmur about how good he was for me, how amazing he always is, how hot it will be to see my marks on him.
His breathing evens out, and I bite back everything else I’m feeling. About how perfect he is. About how I wish I could be good enough to deserve him. About how happy I am he’s here anyway.
I’m just able to reach my phone where I dumped it on my nightstand after the shower, and confirm that my brother responded to the text I sent before we got in bed.
John
Can you make sure the donkeys have food and water before you leave? And that they go outside for a bit?
James
Sure. You guys okay?
John
We’re fine. Thank you.
I respond to his text, sure I’m going to get shit from my brothers at work tomorrow, but with Chad’s steady breathing against my chest, I can’t find it in myself to care.
When Chad shifts about an hour later, rolling over to murmur, “Should I go?” I pull him tighter to me.
I place a soft kiss on his forehead and whisper, “Stay,” deciding to be selfish one more time and add, “We can get rid of the no-sleepover rule.”