Episode 198
DON’T GO brEAKING MY HEART
Emily
“He couldn’t get away quickly enough,” I say dryly after downing the rest of my drink.
Darby and Heather have joined Sienna, June, and me at the bar.
God, Sebastian…
What have I done?
River won’t talk to me—at least not yet—but when he does…
I’m going to have to tell him.
I’m going to have to tell him I let Sebastian fuck me in the ocean.
Fuck it all. When Sebastian came to me this morning, wanting more, I told him I’d fallen in love. He didn’t ask with whom.
He was so tormented about his fifth friend who died…
And now that fifth friend is apparently here. Here, and very much alive.
The lyrics to Sebastian’s song echo in my mind.
We were just boys in a small-town haze,
Runnin’ wild through the long summer days,
Four of us strong, with the world at our feet,
Fighting for a future that felt so sweet.
He said the song was a lie—a lie because there were five of them. When he refused to say anything more, I told him he could keep his secrets, and I would keep mine.
My secret at the time was that I’m in love with River. Of course I spilled it later, though I didn’t name him.
“Earth to Emily.” Sienna nudges me.
“Sorry. Did you say something?”
“The girls were talking about lunch,” Sienna says. “You interested?”
Sienna’s the only one I’ve told about my feelings for River, and I don’t like the way she’s looking at me.
Damn, do I have the same freaked-out look she had when Brett dropped her hand and went running into Jake’s arms?
Are we losing our men to a friend who rose from the dead?
I’m not hungry at all, but what the hell? It will give us something to do whilst River, Brett, and Sebastian deal with Jake’s appearance.
Sebastian must be over the moon to know his friend is alive. Brett certainly seems to be.
And River?
I don’t know anything about how River is feeling.
All I know is that I’m completely and hopelessly in love with him…and I don’t like feeling hopeless about anything.
I was pretty damned hopeless before I came here to the island, facing blackmail and the theft of my designs. I hated the feeling then, and I despise it now.
Not the love part. The hopeless part.
I follow the other women into the kitchen. Staff members are fussing about getting a lunch buffet prepared.
“Can I help you ladies?” one of them asks.
“We were going to help ourselves to some lunch,” Heather says, “but it looks like we’re a little early.”
“You’re right on time.” The staffer smiles. “We’re getting ready to set it up on the deck.”
“We’ll get out of your way.” Sienna grabs my arm. “Come on, Emily. Let’s go freshen up or something.”
I don’t want to freshen up, but I let her lead me out of the kitchen toward the stairway.
River and the others are no longer in the foyer.
“Where did they go?” I ask Sienna.
“Who knows?” She heads toward the door. “Come on.”
“We were dismissed,” I tell her.
“Yeah, and I didn’t like it. Did you?”
“I bloody hated it,” I admit. “But they were…” I shake my head. “I felt like we were intruding.”
“I know the feeling. Do you know anything about this guy? This Jake?”
I draw in a breath. “Sebastian told me a little about him.”
“Sebastian?” She widens her eyes.
“Yes. During our date last night. He subbed in for Alex.”
Sienna wrinkles her forehead.
“It’s a long story. You were gone, and Misty and I won the cookoff—”
“Oh, right. Brett told me about it. About his date with Misty.”
I roll my eyes. “Don’t get me started. Anyway, Sebastian sang some lyrics to me—they were bloody beautiful—and he told me that the four of them had a fifth friend while they were growing up in Montana.”
“Jake,” Sienna says softly.
“Yes. Except Sebastian didn’t name him, and he wouldn’t say anything more. But he was distraught. Very needy.”
“Sebastian Tate needy?”
“I know. It seems absurd to even say the words. And I…” I close my eyes, try to make the image of what I did disappear.
“You what?”
“I made a huge mistake, Sienna. I think I did something that I’m really going to regret.”
Sienna stops walking toward the ocean and turns to me with a look of concern. “What are you talking about, Emily?”
I swallow the lump in my throat. Last night with Sebastian at the beach was a line crossed, an impulsive decision fueled by the confusion of my feelings for River and the sympathy I felt for Sebastian.
“I slept with him, Sienna.”
She blinks at me, her mouth slightly open. Then she shakes her head. “You mean Sebastian?”
I nod.
“Oh Emily…” she whispers. “Why? I thought you were in love with River?”
I fight back tears. I fucking hate tears, especially over a man.
“I am. I admitted my feelings to River, but he didn’t say it back.
Then he just disappeared. And Sebastian…
I don’t know. Maybe because for a moment he was hurting as much as I was…
or maybe because I just wanted to forget about River. Or maybe I’m just a damned idiot.”
Sienna exhales sharply and drags a hand through her hair. “Don’t beat yourself up about this. It’s what we’re here for—to get to know all the men. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“You’re objectively right. I should probably tell River. After all, I confessed my love and then jumped on someone else.”
She sighs. “You’re probably right. He should hear it from you before he hears it from Sebastian.”
She’s right. Secrets don’t stay buried here—not on this island, not with the way everyone watches, listens, waits for the next piece of drama to unfold. And this? This is more than drama. This is a mistake with consequences.
I press my palms against my eyes, willing away the burn of tears. “What if he doesn’t forgive me?”
Sienna sighs. “Then at least you’ll know where you stand. But if you don’t tell him and he finds out some other way?” She lets that thought hang between us, the weight of it suffocating.
I take a steadying breath. “I’ll tell him. Right away.”
The wind shifts through the palm trees. The island has always had a hum to it, the rustling of leaves, the rhythmic pull of the tide, the distant murmur of voices from the mansion or the beach.
But now, it feels…empty.
Too empty.
Sienna glances toward the beach.
The sun glares off the water, turning it into a blinding sheet of gold. Nothing. No sign of River, Brett, or Jake. No distant figures walking the beach. No low voices carrying on the breeze.
Something isn’t right.
“Where are they?” I ask.
Sienna shrugs. “Maybe they just went somewhere private to talk.”
I nod, but unease coils in my stomach. The last time River disappeared, it was after I told him how I felt. And now, after Jake’s sudden return, after the upheaval of everything they thought they knew—he’s gone again.
I walk toward the ocean. “I need to find him.”
Sienna hesitates. “Emily—”
“I need to.”
She doesn’t argue. “I want to find Brett, too. Something about this whole thing just feels off.”
A cold chill slides down my spine despite the heat of the noonday sun.
Somewhere on this island, beneath the relentless sun and the endless stretch of empty beach, something is already breaking…and I’m terrified it’s my heart.