Episode 203
THE WAY WE WERE
Brett
The resemblance between Jake and Misty is uncanny.
That’s the thought that went through my head as I lunged toward her and caught her before she fell to the sand.
She was panting, gasping, sweat streaking down her forehead and cheeks, her blond hair stringy and sticking to her skin.
Did Jake hear what Misty said? That he’s her brother?
Fuck. I still can’t even wrap my head around the fact that Jake is here. That Jake is alive.
Emotions coil through me. It’s too much. Too many feelings crashing into each other, none of them making sense.
I should be happy.
I am happy.
Somewhere beneath the chaos in my chest is relief so raw it aches.
He’s alive.
He’s alive.
After twenty damned years of believing he was gone—of carrying the weight of my secret love for him—he’s here. Breathing. Real.
I love him for it.
And I hate him for it.
I hate that he let us believe he was dead. That he disappeared without a trace and let us mourn him. That he let me mourn him. I hate that he’s just standing there, looking older but somehow the same, like two decades haven’t passed, like time didn’t break us all in his absence.
He was the heart of our group. The voice of justice. The one we leaned on to lead us the right way. The one who made everything feel like it was going to be okay, even when it wasn’t.
Then he was gone.
Now he’s back.
And I don’t know what to do with that.
There’s joy, yes—blinding, breathless joy—but it’s tangled in betrayal, in confusion, in the kind of rage that only comes from grief you never buried.
I want answers.
But more than that, I want the time back. I want the years we lost. The laughter. The fights. The stupid, mundane, beautiful moments that his death stole from us.
I don’t know if I can ever forgive him for letting us think he was dead.
Or if I’ll ever stop being grateful that he isn’t.
And then…River.
River, who knew…
My fucking best friend.
Will I be able to forgive Jake? I don’t know.
But Riv?
“Is she all right?” Alex asks.
Misty is still lying in my arms. Her breathing is normal, and her color is returning.
“Is anyone going to answer my question?” Jake’s voice. “Is this her, Riv? My sister?”
Jake’s grownup, masculine voice. So much richer and deeper than I recall.
They’re waiting for me to answer.
I was always the de facto leader of our tribe, and we’re reverting to twenty years ago.
But how the fuck am I supposed to answer Jake when I’m still reeling?
So I won’t. I’ll pawn it off to the person who seems to know more than the rest of us.
“Riv,” I grit out, “you want to take that one?”
River kneels in front of Misty. “You okay?”
“Like you care.” She scoffs.
“Of course I care,” River says. “We all do. Right, Brett?”
Seriously? He wants me to back him up? But Misty is Jake’s sister, and Jake is alive, and…
And I don’t fucking know.
“We care, Misty,” I say. “You know that. You and I had a great talk about…your brother.”
Misty blinks. “Is it really him?”
“Yes,” I say, trying to keep the tremble from my voice. “It's really him. I’d know him anywhere.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Misty asks River, but she’s looking at me.
“I’m sorry, Misty,” River says. “We didn’t know you existed until a few days ago, and”—he pauses, exhaling—“I’m the only one who knew Jake was still alive.”
“Yeah, and you have a lot of explaining to do about that,” I grit out.
“I know, Brett.” River rakes his hand over his hair. “I know.”
I glance at Jake. His forehead is wrinkled as he stares at Misty.
I meet his confused gaze. “Jake, I don't know how to tell you this, but… Misty here is your sister.”
His shock is palpable. “I heard her say that. River told me. When he came and got me.”
“It’s a long story,” I say, “and I think River should be the one to tell it. You know, since he betrayed us all twenty years ago.”
Sebastian comes forward. “Hey, Brett. Easy. Let’s just be happy Jake is here.”
“You think I’m not?” I shake my head. “But fuck… They let us mourn. Grieve. They let us believe he was fucking dead!”
“I’m with Seb,” Alex says. “Let’s take care of Misty and just be happy that Jake’s here. They’ll explain themselves. But we’re all in shock right now.”
Shock?
That’s what Alex thinks this is?
No.
Shock was the first five seconds when I saw Jake standing in the foyer with River—when my brain tried to reject it and accept it at the same time.
No, this isn’t shock.
This is betrayal. This is twenty years of grief rotting in my gut. This is fury so thick it burns behind my eyes because I loved him. I loved him beyond friendship, in a way I knew I’d have to take to my grave.
And seeing him now…
Knowing he still exists in this world…
That love has come hurtling back, cracking my fucking heart in two.
“I don’t need time to process,” I snap. “I need the fucking truth. I need to know why River has looked us in the eyes for the last twenty years and let us believe Jake was gone forever.”
Alex runs a hand through his hair, his jaw tight. “Brett, you’re not the only one who’s hurting.”
“I know that,” I shoot back.
Alex and Seb don’t know. Only Riv knows. Only Riv knows how much I loved Jake, and he hasn’t known for long.
“Jake…” Misty finally says.
“Yeah, I’m here.” Jake’s voice. “I don’t understand what’s going on, but if you’re truly my sister, I’m here for you. I promise. Everything will be okay.”
“Yeah,” Alex agrees. “Jake’s here, and whatever happened in the past, everything will be okay now.”
“I can’t just act like everything’s okay,” I mutter. “Because it’s not.”
And somewhere deep in my chest, something fractures all over again.
Especially when I see Sienna—my beautiful Sienna who I love and want to marry—in the distance.