Episode 233
AGAINST THE WIND
River
“What the hell?”
I was ready to spill my guts to Emily, the woman I love, only to have someone pound on the door of my suite.
I sit up, my body still humming from release as the knock comes again. Louder this time. More urgent.
“Who could that be?” Emily asks. “And why so bloody persistent?”
“No one that matters,” I say.
Three hard pounds. Pause. Then again.
“Don’t move,” I say. “I want you naked and flushed just like you are when I get rid of whoever this is.”
I pull on my shorts and head out of the bedroom, still barefoot, sweat cooling on my skin. My pulse hasn’t fully recovered, but something in my gut is already tensing.
I get to the door and look through the peephole.
Jake.
I doubt I’d open the door for anyone else in the galaxy, honestly, not after that romp with Emily.
I open the door.
Jake’s blond hair’s damp like he’s been pacing the beach, and he’s breathing hard, as if he sprinted here. His shirt is clinging to him, stained with sweat, and his eyes…
His eyes are raw.
“Hey,” he says, his voice raspy. “Can I come in?”
I stare at him. Anyone else I’d tell to get lost.
But this is Jake.
I brought him here. I kept his secrets for twenty years. I could never turn him away.
I step aside without a word.
He walks in, looking around like he doesn’t want to be here, like he doesn’t know where to put his hands.
I shut the door behind us and lean against it.
“You okay, man?”
He eyes me up and down. “Fuck. I know that look when I see it. Where is she?”
I gesture toward the bedroom.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. We’re good. And we’re done. For now, anyway.”
Jake nods and runs his hand through his hair. “Good. At least I haven’t fucked up your life.”
“What’s going on?” I ask.
“Brett,” he says softly, with more emotion than I’m ready for. Then he stares at me. “You know.”
I’m not sure what gave it away. Apparently my “just fucked” look has a tell.
“I do,” I say. “But I didn’t until we got here, to the island. He never told me, Jake. If I’d known…” I shake my head. “I don’t know what I would have done. I had to keep you safe.”
He nods. “I get it. But damn… I’m pretty sure I just fucked up his life.”
I raise my eyebrows. “How?”
“I kind of told him…” He rubs his forehead. “I kind of told him that I felt something for him back then too.”
I can’t help a gasp. “Say what?”
“I know, I know. Marnie. The baby. Everything. I loved her, man. Hell, I killed for her.”
I grab him and clamp my hand over his mouth. “Are you crazy?” I hiss. “Emily’s right in there. You can’t go around telling everyone what happened. There’s no statute of limitations on murder, or have you forgotten?”
Jake doesn’t need to know I was about to tell Emily everything.
I remove my hand. “You good now?”
He sighs. “Yeah. Sorry. And for the record, I did love Marnie. What I felt for Brett was different. It was like friendship, only more, but I was too scared to do anything about it, and I figured it would go away with time.”
“And did it?”
“I don’t know, Riv. It’s been twenty years. I had to leave all of you behind. I had some relationships along the way—always with women—but I never let myself fall in love. I couldn’t stay in one place too long. You know the deal.”
“Yeah. I know, man.” I massage the back of my neck. So much for that release. I’m tense as a bronc before the gate swings open.
“The thing is,” Jake continues. “Brett is in love with Sienna. I can see it in his eyes when he talks about her, hear it in his voice.”
“So you’ll let him go, then?”
Jake shakes his head. “It’s not that simple. She saw us.”
I groan. “She saw…what, exactly?”
“Simmer down. It was only a kiss. And I told him to go after her.”
“Did he?”
Jake nods. “Yeah. But I’m worried. And I don’t know how I truly feel about any of it.”
“Fuck.” I scratch at my suddenly itchy scalp.
“This was a mistake. What was I thinking, bringing you here? I risked your safety, and what for? Because I was feeling guilty about keeping this secret all this time. Especially from Brett, once he told me his feelings. And then finding out that Misty’s your sister. I should have stayed out of it.”
“Don’t put it all on yourself,” Jake says. “I didn’t have to come. You gave me a choice.”
“Why did you come?” I ask. “Seriously, why? It’s been twenty years. You’ve been safe.”
He looks at me. Really looks at me, as if he’s willing me to see inside his brain.
“Because for twenty years, Riv, I’ve been running against the wind.
I can’t anymore. I’m exhausted. Part of me wants my life back, and the consequences be damned.
But I never wanted to fuck things up for any of you. Especially not for Brett.”
I open my mouth to reply, but a rustling from the bedroom startles me. The door opens.
And Emily—my gorgeous Emily—walks toward us wearing nothing but a sheet around her.
Even as stressed as this conversation has me, my cock reacts.
She tilts her head, stares at Jake.
And asks, “Why exactly would you be fucking up anything for Brett?”