27. Nyah
NYAH
Dear Diary,
Bullets flying through my tiramisu would have been preferable.
“What do I have to do to get the two of you to change your minds about this?” Lynx tugged at the tuxedo he’d rented and stared helplessly in the mirror at his reflection, a bow tie dangling from his fingers.
“If for no other reason, we shouldn’t go because I have no fucking idea how the hell you tie one of these things. ”
Luca rolled his eyes and took it from him. “Give it to me. I’ll do it for you. It’s not hard.”
Seemed pretty hard from where I was sitting perched on the edge of my mattress, trying to put on the sparkly heels I’d bought at a Goodwill store the day before.
Unfortunately, my belly got in the way, and the too-tight dress didn’t help matters either.
It clung to the curves of my pregnant body, plastering itself to my tits and hips and ass and belly in a way that had Luca and Lynx drooling at the mouth, even though I would have been a lot more comfortable in a pair of sweats.
But sweats weren’t going to get me into a Guerra party unnoticed.
And not going to the party wasn’t an option.
Because none of us had heard from Dax in two weeks.
His phone went straight to voicemail. I called the shop every day, and both King and Roarke tiredly told me to stop bothering, that he’d come back when he was ready, just like he had last time.
I even thought about calling his father, but I hadn’t wanted to worry him with my theories that Dax hadn’t left of his own free will.
The man was still thick in the grief of losing his wife, and if I was wrong, and Dax had just needed some space…
I didn’t want to cause his family any more trouble than I already had.
Though I had loved Virginia, and she had never been anything but kind to me, I felt the chill from Dax’s brothers.
I knew I deserved their anger. That whatever was going on with Dax was my fault, and that if he’d never met me, they’d probably still have both their brother and their mom.
It was a guilt I walked around with daily, one I couldn’t shake. The closer I got to my due date, the more I worried about bringing this baby into the world without his father at my side.
And that broke my heart every time I thought about it.
So I had vowed to do whatever needed doing in order to find Dax and bring him home.
If that meant shoving my very pregnant body into some secondhand lace and satin that was at least a size too small, then so be it.
I was going to that Guerra party tonight. Whether Carlos wanted me there or not.
The hotel in the city was the nicest one I’d ever been to. I was grateful we had Luca’s car to drive there, because the Slayers’ club van would have been wholly out of place amongst the flashy sports cars and deluxe limousines.
We pulled up in the circular driveway, and a valet waited to take the car.
Luca handed over the keys, and Lynx tucked my hand into the crook of his arm.
He breathed out unsteadily. “This is such a bad idea.”
“I know. Trust me, I would much rather be at home soaking in a bathtub. If I could still fit into one.” I stared up at the hotel with its mixture of chrome metal and glass so tinted it appeared black. “But what’s the worst that can happen in such a public place?”
Luca picked the spot on my other side, his fingers finding mine and linking through them. “Oh, I don’t know. My father realizes we’re here, and bullets fly over the dessert table? He notices I haven’t just sunk off into the abyss and decides to spit roast me with an apple in my mouth?”
None of us laughed. Because unfortunately, we knew it was a very real possibility.
I tightened my grip on both of them. “That’s not going to happen. Not with a hotel full of witnesses. But I need to hear your father say he’s not keeping Dax in that basement of his.”
A shiver ran down my spine at the very thought of the cages I’d been kept in. The scar where Carlos had branded me with the Guerra name throbbed, as if to remind me to be careful or I risked being back there myself.
The baby inside me gave a solid kick, and it felt like yet another warning I had a lot to lose.
And yet I couldn’t stay away. If there was any chance to find out more information on where Dax was and whether he was okay, I had to be here.
He’d done the same for me once. Searched high and low, and even though in the end he hadn’t been able to help me, I’d never forget that Dax was a man who showed up when it counted.
I refused to give him anything less.
So I lifted my head and strode through the doors of the hotel, both Luca and Lynx dressed to the nines either side of me.
A crowd of people, all in formal wear like we were, made their way to a ballroom, and we followed along, swept up in the sea of people. Security at the door asked for our names, and Luca confidently gave his.
The guard jerked his head up from the list of names written on the clipboard in his hand. “Not on the list. Can’t let you in.”
Well, this was going to be a short-lived adventure.
But Luca wasn’t that easily swayed. “Check again.”
The guard sighed. “You aren’t on the list.”
There was a ripple of whispers from the people in line behind us, and even the people inside the room were starting to turn in our direction.
Lynx cleared his throat and tightened his grip on me. “Luca. Let’s go. Remember our conversation in the car? About a dessert table massacre? I’d prefer if we didn’t force that into existence.”
Luca ground his molars, still facing off with the guard.
“Let them in,” a voice boomed above the low, classy jazz music playing through the speakers discreetly hidden around the room. “Don’t you recognize my son when you see him? He doesn’t need to be on the list. He’s a Guerra.”
“Oh boy,” I whispered as every head in the room swiveled in our direction. “Nothing like sneaking in unannounced.”
Lynx’s grip on my arm was almost painful. “I don’t like this.”
Neither did I, but we were here now, and there was no turning back. We were swimming with the sharks, and the biggest one of all was pushing his way through the crowd and walking toward us.
The security guards stepped aside to let us through, and Carlos was waiting there behind them, Enzo at his shoulder.
I shuddered as Enzo’s gaze rolled over me in a slow, leering fashion that made me wish I’d worn a coat.
Carlos stepped up to Luca and embraced him.
Luca didn’t return it. He stood with his arms stiffly at his sides, every ounce of his discomfort in being around his father evident in his frozen posture.
Carlos was all show though. He pulled back and held Luca’s shoulders at arm’s length. “It’s good to see you, son.”
“Is it?” Luca asked.
Before he could get another word out though, my mother pushed between them to throw herself at me. “Nyah! You came. I’m so glad.”
The hug she gave me was as fake as the one Luca’s father had given him. I was equally unresponsive.
My father joined our little group and offered his hand to Carlos. “It’s good to see you, Guerra.”
Carlos’s eyes darkened. “Matish. I didn’t expect to see you here tonight. After…everything. I didn’t think you were invited.”
A blush crept up my father’s neck. “The invitation was in my mailbox.”
“They must have been sent some time ago.”
The unspoken “before you tried betraying me by selling both me and MacGregor the same daughter” hung in the air between them.
I couldn’t even blame Carlos for the way he looked at my father, like he was a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of his shoe. My father was trash, only ever interested in what would get him up the next rung on the social ladder, what would bring him more power, what would make him more money.
I was sure when I looked at him my expression was about as welcoming.
As if things couldn’t get any more awkward, MacGregor strolled over like he owned the room, making a beeline right for me.
Carlos shot a death glare at Enzo and muttered something about not updating the guest list.
Completely ignoring the men, MacGregor took my hands and leaned in to kiss my cheek. “Nyah Matish,” he murmured in my ear. “Aren’t ye a sight for sore eyes. Are ye wearing my underwear?”
I was sure he meant the silky red number he’d forced on me in the airport, and not a pair of his boxer shorts or tighty-whities.
I said nothing, not giving him the satisfaction of a response.
He laughed like it amused him and stepped back, surveying the circle. “Well, well. Isn’t this delightful? What a group. The parents- and grandparents-to-be. Ye must all be so excited with the wee bairn on the way, and soon too, if that belly is anything to go by.”
MacGregor reached for my belly, and I flinched.
Apparently, I could stand MacGregor touching me, but the thought of his hand anywhere near my child, even if it was still inside me, was unthinkable.
Lynx noticed instantly and moved so I was an inch behind him, cutting off MacGregor’s access.
I wished again for that coat, hating their attention was all trained on my belly and there was nothing I could do about it. But grateful to Lynx for putting himself between us. My nervous system settled just enough that I could snap myself out of fight-or-flight mode.
Flight was done. It was time for the fight.
“Where’s Dax?” My gaze switched from my father to MacGregor to Carlos. “I know one of you has him.”
Carlos’s eyebrows drew together in a frown.
“I don’t understand. Why would I have him?
Last time I saw him was when we left Scotland.
” He peered at Lynx, though his words were still answering my question.
“Did you ask your bodyguard there? I’ve heard he’s been a bit busy lately.
Leaving bodies in his wake. He already killed my housekeeper. Perhaps he killed her son too.”
A low growl rumbled from deep in Lynx’s chest, and I squeezed his fingers, trying to calm him down. The last thing we needed was him losing it like he had in Scotland.
His hand was clamped around mine when he answered. “I didn’t kill either of them, and you know it.”
Carlos raised an eyebrow. “Do I?”
Luca stared at his father, his gaze roaming over his face. “Her name was Virginia. She wasn’t just your housekeeper.”
Carlos focused on his son. “I’m aware of her name.”
“Then use it,” he spat back. “Use it when you admit it was you who killed her and tried to frame Lynx for it.”
Carlos’s face split in a smile that chilled me to my bones. “Is that what you think happened?” His laughter was sick. “Why would I bother with an old woman?”
“Because you knew it would hurt me. You knew she was the closest thing I had to a mother.”
“You’ve had many mothers, Luca.”
“And you killed all of them,” he hissed back, losing whatever grip he had on his patience. “Virginia was just another in a long list of women in my life who you’ve killed.”
Carlos’s gaze flickered to me. “And yet you brought another here for me today.” He looked around the crowd as if searching for someone. “Did you bring Isabella too?”
Luca’s fingers flexed into fists, and I grabbed his hand too, before he could swing one at his father’s face. This was not Luca’s world anymore, and every person here was neutral or on Carlos’s side. If Luca lost it, we’d be outnumbered in seconds.
Carlos stared at me, between two men, holding their hands. “You’re quite the woman, Nyah Matish. Standing there like Helen of Troy. The woman who destroyed a kingdom. Is that the role you want for yourself?”
I glared at him. “What I wanted for myself was never a consideration for you or my father. Neither of you ever gave me a choice in any of this.”
“And yet you stand there with full control over my son, and my grandbaby in your belly.” He folded his arms across his broad chest. “Seems like a position of power to me.”
I breathed out a long, slow breath. “All I want to know is where Dax is.”
Carlos shook his head. “I can’t give you information I don’t have.”
Luca glared at him. “How much did you sell him for?”
Carlos chuckled at that. “You were in my business long enough to know I don’t bother trying to sell men, Luca. They don’t fetch even half the price of a woman or child.”
Bitterness welled on my tongue at the reminder of the things Luca and Carlos had done together in the past.
I didn’t know that version of Luca. The one he’d been before saving his sister had changed him.
And I saw it in Luca now, in the way his shoulders dropped at the mention of it. The way the shame and guilt still ate away at him.
Maybe I should have hated him for what he’d been. For the things he’d done. And yet all I could remember was the way he’d protected me. The way he’d claimed this baby so it could live. And in the way he hadn’t left me.
The way Dax had.
Because I believed Carlos when he said he didn’t have him. He’d seemed truly surprised.
MacGregor, my father, and Carlos were all liars. But so was I. So were Luca and Lynx. The only one out of us who wasn’t was Dax.
He’d told me he’d gone to Scotland to fight.
And maybe I finally needed to believe that.