Chapter Twenty-Two
Emelyn
I wrapped my arm under Ace's, supporting his weight as we stumbled back into his tent.
His breaths were shallow, but his steps were strong considering everything he had been through.
He paused to catch his breath as I helped him sit on the edge of the bed.
Hard lines of fatigue were etched in lines across his face.
I moved to examine his back, wanting to check on the stumps that had already started to form where his wings should be.
Ace glanced over his shoulder to look at me and his eyes lingered on the feathers in my hair. His feathers . . .
A boulder threatened to clog my throat as I went to grab for them so he wouldn’t have to relive the loss of his beautiful wings again, but he grabbed my wrist, stopping me before I could.
“No,” he signed, his eyes growing glassy. “I want you to wear my feathers proudly. You are someone I cherish. Never remove them.” I swallowed down the lump in my throat and nodded, pulling him into another hug. I released him and wanted to tend to his back again, but he shook his head.
“You’ve done enough. You need rest. You look and smell like shit,” he signed, and I scowled.
“Oh, how I missed your charm, brother,” I signed and followed Ace’s gaze over to the chair next to his bed.
The dim light of the lantern cast a soft glow on Luana curled up, her chest rising and falling with deep, even breaths.
She hadn't stirred since we’d arrived. “She has stayed by your side from the moment you made it back.”
His eyes softened, the edges of his mouth lifting in a small, grateful smile that didn't quite reach his weary eyes. "I could feel her," he signed back. "She kept our bond open when Kade brought me back."
"Could you not feel it before you left?" I asked.
"I could," he signed, and I saw the ghost of hesitation in the twitch of his fingers. "But we had been taking things slow. She wasn't ready to let me in yet. She was closed off from me."
Understanding dawned on me since I’d been doing the same thing with Kade. I nodded. "Well, I'll let you get some rest and have some alone time with your mate."
"And you should talk to yours, Emelyn." There was a hint of mischief in the arch of his brow, but I just turned away to leave because I didn't have anything to say to that—an admission of my own vulnerabilities I wasn’t ready to confront. I wasn’t ready to talk to Kade yet, but at least he’d felt everything I had.
I had sent all the rage and sadness to him down the bond.
When I made it back to my tent, his bedroll was outside, but he wasn’t there.
I assumed he’d decided to give me some space after the incident today.
Maybe he was waiting until I went to bed so I wouldn’t have to see him.
That would be understandable. A wave of relief should have swelled within me.
Instead, gnawing emptiness gnashed at my insides.
I wanted him here. I wanted him to talk to me, fight me, fucking hold me .
. . something, but what the hell did I expect when I pushed the man away at every opportunity I had?
I’d wanted distance, and he was giving it to me.
I lingered outside the tent flap, staring at the space where he had been sleeping.
In the dim light, I could almost imagine the gentle rise and fall of his chest, the shadows dancing across his sharp features.
A shiver raced through me, though whether from cold or longing, I couldn't tell.
Perhaps this was for the best. This space between us would give me time to sift through all of my emotions.
Even though the thought sounded reasonable, it tasted bitter on my tongue.
I needed to bathe. A dip in the river would surely help me feel better.
Besides, Ace's words about my stench clung to my conscience. They’d been harsh, but he hadn’t been wrong.
I grabbed a bundle of clothes to change into from inside my tent before making the small trek to the river.
The night air nipped at my skin as I wove through the sleeping camp.
Reaching the riverbank, I stripped off my soiled clothes.
The water greeted me with a cool caress as I stepped in, moonlight painting silver streaks across the surface.
I submerged, letting the current strip away the grime and sweat of the past few days.
My fingers worked through my hair, untangling the knots.
When I emerged, the chill of the night wrapped around me, but I felt a little better.
I dried and dressed hastily, the fabric rough against my tender flesh, and turned back toward the camp.
I’d spoken too soon.
Emptiness still carved hollows within me. And for a moment, I allowed myself to pretend that I was standing in a Hollow with Crow, before I knew the truth about everything, just enjoying the peaceful serenity of it.
As I neared my tent, I sensed a familiar presence.
Kade's shadows flitted about. They hadn't strayed far, it seemed. Or perhaps they sought me out, independent of his will. Mischievous little things. Though, I was sure Kade wanted to keep an eye on me after everything I’d sent down our connection. I’d be worried about me too.
His shadows swirling around me coaxed a smile onto my lips, a small bloom of warmth in the frost of my heart.
Upon reaching my tent, I slipped inside, but they stayed out until I held the flap open and eyed them, giving them a silent invitation to enter.
It wasn't much, but it was a start to letting Kade back in. They followed me over to my bedroll and swished around joyfully, as if they were happy to be here. They curled around my neck and caressed my cheek, and I swallowed the emotion building in my throat. I rolled over, and then I saw Kade’s form on the outside of my tent, taking his spot on the bedroll, lying down, readying for bed.
He had waited for me. I closed my eyes before I could overthink it, and sleep claimed me quickly.