Chapter Thirty-Seven
Emelyn
" C ome in." Shay's voice sounded through the small opening.
Pushing aside the fabric, I stepped into the dimly lit tent, the air thick with the scent of herbs and food.
Glancing around, I saw there were crocheted blankets, baskets of fruits and dried meats, and gifts scattered around from soldiers and other mothers coming to pay their respects to Shay, her new babe, and the loss of Emeris.
It had been almost two weeks since the ambush and the rebellion had been hard at work trying to find their routines again.
Shay was a cradle of warmth amidst the gloom, her babe nestled securely in her arms. A pang of ache lanced through me as I took in the sight. She looked so fragile, so drained, yet there was undeniable strength in the way she held herself and her baby.
I crossed the distance between us with tentative steps and sat beside her on the bed. My arm wrapped around her shoulders without a word, pulling her into an embrace that tried to stitch together the frayed edges of our reality.
She sniffled against my chest, a soft sound muffled by the fabric of my tunic. "Would you like to hold her?" Shay asked, her voice barely above a whisper, eyes glistening with unshed tears but also something else—happiness. Shay was glowing as she held her baby girl in her arms.
"Yes," I breathed out. Carefully, I cradled the tiny babe in my arms. She was so light, so impossibly small, and my hands trembled with the fear of harming something so perfect and pure.
Shay's smile was like the first break in a relentless storm, letting through a sliver of light that promised the return of the sun. I met her gaze, finding solace in the shared understanding of loss and love, all encapsulated in the fragile life I held against my chest.
"So, what's her name?" My finger traced the delicate curve of her forehead. Her skin was a lighter brown than Shay’s, and as she looked at me, she revealed her father’s eyes, a beautiful shade of blue, with her perfect little ears coming to little points and tight, light brown curls atop her head.
She was the perfect mix of both of them.
"Emeris," Shay replied, her voice swelling with pride that seemed to fill the cramped space of the tent. The single word reverberated through my heart. I blinked rapidly, trying to hold back tears.
I pressed my lips together, swallowing down the lump in my throat. Emeris would have trotted around with glee, knowing Shay had named their baby after her. In her honor. The name was like a promise that even in the darkest of times, we remembered and cherished those who’d fought beside us.
"I think that's perfect," I murmured, the words a whisper between us. Our eyes, heavy with unshed tears, lingered on the babe, just taking in all of her little details as if committing them to memory.
With a sudden squirm and a little cry, Emeris announced she was officially sick of me, her tiny face scrunching up. Shay groaned and glanced down at her shirt. The fabric clung to her skin, darkened by the wet marks drenching the front of her breasts.
"She certainly has no problem making sure my body knows she's hungry." She gestured to the dampness spreading across her chest.
A chuckle escaped me. "This is the third top that's been ruined, and it's still morning." Shay cast a side glance toward the tent's entrance, an eyebrow raised in playful defiance. "I'd rather just walk around shirtless, but I think Baron's head might pop off if I did that."
The image of Baron ripping every male’s head off flashed through my mind, and our laughter mingled together.
“Males.” I huffed as Shay discarded her soiled shirt with a carefree shrug. I cradled Emeris gently and then handed her back.
"Here we go," Shay cooed softly as Emeris found her mother's breast. She suckled contentedly, a small hand flailing before resting against Shay's skin, anchoring herself.
"Kade is going to try and Hollow to Ember today to save Rhet." The words tumbled from my lips. He’d been recovering his strength the last few days and he didn’t want to wait any longer.
"I just wanted you to know what our next moves are.
He went to talk to Atreya about it as I was leaving our tent.
" My gaze searched hers for any glimmer of reassurance.
"Have you heard anything from her? I haven't seen her since the attack. "
"uhh—No, I haven't," she murmured, her attention flitting back to the bundle of joy in her arms. "I'm sure everything will work out.
Kade's been sneaking around that palace his whole life.
He'll find Rhet, and they'll both return safely.
" A small smile played on her lips. I wondered if she believed her own words.
The silence that followed was a void, filled only by the soft sounds of Emeris's contentment.
I studied her face, feeling as though she was keeping something from me but I had no idea what it could be. I nodded because what else could I do or say?
"Do you need anything?"
"No," she said with a weary exhale, her voice tinged with a hint of a laugh.
"We'll be okay. Baron has been fussing like a mother hen since she was born.
" Her eyes softened at the mention of his name.
"I practically had to shove him out of this tent this morning, but with everything going on, the rebellion needed him to pick up the slack since Atreya and I were both down for a little while. "
Why would Atreya have been down? I guessed that was a shitty thought to have after all the losses we’d experienced.
She had essentially led her people to a slaughter she hadn’t been expecting.
I was sure that would upset anyone. But knowing Atreya, it would only fuel her fire to be there for her people.
Had she gotten injured? That was the only thing I could think of that would slow that woman down. I dropped it and stood.
"Alright, I'll be helping as much as I can today, so I'll be around if you need me."
"Thank you," Shay murmured softly, her fatigue etched into the lines of her face. With a final glance at Shay and the babe, I slipped outside.
I treaded the path back to my own tent. Pushing aside the entrance, I found Kade. He was a figure carved from the shadows, every movement deliberate as he secured his twin swords along the curve of his back. The sight sent a pang of pain through my heart that threatened to buckle my knees.
What if he didn't come back? The fear coiled tight around my ribs.
His hands were steady on the leather straps, the muscles of his arms taut. There was no hesitation in him.
I lingered in the doorway. Kade's back was to me, his movements precise as he fastened each buckle on his leathers, I only watched as his muscles shifted. The twin swords at his back gleamed dully.
" Mei wynsoara . . ." His voice was a caress inside my head.
When I looked up, his gaze pierced through the dimness of the tent, a tether pulling taut between us.
"No goodbyes today because I will always come back to you," he said, and I realized my mind was open like a floodgate. I hadn’t blocked him out since he’d woken up, so he was being pummeled by all of my emotions.
"Don't make promises you can't keep." My voice cracked.
Kade stepped to me now. His calloused palms cradled my face. He wiped away the tears with his thumbs, leaving behind a path of warmth on my skin. His breath danced across my lips.
"I don't. I’m a man of my word,” he murmured, and then he kissed me, gently at first, but soon we were breathless and holding onto each other as if we'd never see each other again.
He pulled back, placing his forehead against mine.
"I love you, and when I return, I'm going to show you.
" He kissed my jawline. "How much." My neck.
"In every way." Then his mouth found the slope of my shoulder, leaving a small trail of kisses there. His eyes glowed a bright shade of amber when they met mine again. We hadn't been intimate since he’d woken, hell since I’d found out the truth, because we’d both needed to heal and there hadn't been time for pleasures.
But I could see the promise of it burning in his irises.
He kissed me one last time before he began to fade, like the last rays of dusk surrendering to the night.
Slowly at first, as though reluctant to go, his form shimmered and dissolved into darkness.
And just like that, the space around me grew colder, emptier, and all I could do was hope he would come back to me.