Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
A muffled thumping sound, followed by a grunt had her sliding from her bed and hurrying to the door that separated her room from Radik’s. She pressed her ear to the door and heard another thump, this one louder.
She thought about knocking, but it was the middle of the night and she didn’t want to draw attention to herself. Especially when herself came with a wicked case of bedhead and morning breath.
Radik was probably just getting ready for bed after a late night of warlording or whatever he did when he wasn’t with her.
Feeling a little overheated, she wandered to the balcony doors, opening them and stepping out onto the patio.
Closing her eyes, she enjoyed the feel of the clay tiles at her feet and the cool breeze as it caressed her warm skin.
It smelled of the flowers from the vines that creeped up the side of the house.
“Help, they’re killing us!”
The shout made her jump as it pierced the early morning darkness. She recognized the language as Sudanese and the shout had come from Radik’s room, further along the balcony.
She hurried to his door, which was cracked open. “Muhammed?” she whispered, and when there was no response, raised her voice. “Muhammed, are you okay?”
It was still quiet and she almost turned away, but then a muffled shout stopped her. Mustering as much bravery as she could, she pushed the door open and stepped into his room. It was so dark, she had to pause until her eyes were accustomed to it. She followed the groans to his bed.
“Muhammed,” she said softly, reaching out to touch his bare shoulder.
She didn’t know exactly how it happened, but in a rapid blur she was suddenly on her back on the bed, a knife to her throat, a gun to her head and a very heavy man on top of her.
“Radik!” she squeaked, frozen beneath him.
She could barely make out his face in the weak moonlight filtering through the balcony doors, but she could see his features were twisted into an expression of pain. His eyes were open, blinking rapidly as consciousness came to him.
His tense muscles softened and he shifted the knife away from her throat. She felt a slight sting as it left her. Her body was numb with shock so she couldn’t tell if he’d just nicked her or actually sliced.
“Saskia?” Recognition dawned and he rolled off her.
Relief flooded her veins and she began to shake. Unable to move, she lay motionless on the bed, watching as he stood and walked away. Seconds later, lamplight illuminated the bed.
Gasping, Saskia sat up, her hand going to her throat. When she looked at her fingers, there was no blood, thank goodness.
Radik didn’t move. Just stood next to the bed, staring at her, as if trying to work out how she’d gotten there.
He was magnificent. Strong, beautiful, and very, very naked. Mahogany skin stretched over thick slabs of muscle, rippling with sinew and veins, shining with sweat. His bald head was also shining, streaked with sweat.
Though she glanced down, she didn’t linger. It was huge, of course, and she wanted a better look, but she didn’t want to be obvious. Especially after he’d probably just woken from a nightmare.
“What are you doing in here?” he asked, his voice rough with sleep. He sounded confused.
“You left your door open,” she said.
“I know, but why are you here?”
Now that the shock of his abrupt waking was over, he seemed less confused and more… interested. He was devouring her with his eyes. She was wearing a thigh-length nightshirt, but he made her feel like she was barely wearing anything.
“You were talking in your sleep,” she told him, swinging her legs over the side of the bed and pulling her nightshirt to her knees, tucking the edges under her thighs to hold it in place.
“You shouldn’t come in my room while I’m sleeping,” he said gruffly, opening the patio doors wide. A cooling breeze washed over them and he sighed with relief.
“You sounded like you were in pain, or fighting with someone,” Saskia defended, running her hand over the sheets, imagining him there, sleeping, as he had been a few moments ago.
Now that the shock was wearing off, her senses were kicking in, and they were sending alarm bells all through her body.
She was surrounded by the scent of his sweat.
Radik nodded, seemingly unsurprised. “Still, you should never enter my room alone while I’m sleeping.”
Saskia frowned and stood, joining him at the window. “But I can enter your room otherwise?”
He gave a slight nod. “Of course, you aren’t prohibited from any part of my home or the compound beyond.”
“So, I’m allowed in your room, but not when you’re sleeping. Why?”
He brushed the hair from her face, his fingers leaving a wake of tingles before falling away. The heat of his body was so distracting, it took her a few seconds to register that he was speaking. “I prefer not to say. It’s not a subject I enjoy discussing.”
She bit her lip and nodded, but her thoughts were going at the same time her body was responding to him. Her nipples had become stiff and sensitive and her panties… well… she’d have to be made of stone not to respond to someone as hot as him.
“I understand… but if you’re having nightmares, maybe it would be better to talk about it.
” She held her breath. Was she overstepping?
She definitely would be if this was Jozef or any of his security staff.
Yet, the conversations she’d shared with Radik so far had taught her that he valued her thoughts and opinions.
“Do you think so?” His voice gruff as he dropped onto the bed. He rubbed a hand over his face and head, his shoulders bowing.
Sakia sat gingerly beside him, keeping about a foot of space between them.
“I know it does. It helps me to talk things out with someone I trust when I’m feeling frustrated, angry, or sad.
When the nightmares take over.” She picked at the sheet.
“Without Leeza, I don’t think I would’ve survived the deaths of our parents.
I understood why it had to happen the way it did, but understanding isn’t the same as feeling. ”
She blinked away the moisture gathering in her eyes, lifting her shoulder to catch a stray tear.
Radik covered her hand with his. “I’m sorry you had to endure such turmoil. You were an innocent who didn’t deserve the storm you were caught up in.”
“No one deserves to feel that way,” Saskia said. “Frightened, alone, hunted. It was awful. The memories… they can be haunting. I understand what it is to have nightmares.”
He moved his hand away. “Perhaps some of us deserve to have nightmares, to feel the weight of our past.”
“I don’t believe that.” Okay, yes, she did believe some people deserved to be haunted for life. Leeza’s serial killer ex-husband had deserved it, but they weren’t talking about Adam. They were talking about Radik.
“Even if the crimes committed are terrible and occasionally against innocents?”
Oh boy, they were entering dangerous territory. Saskia felt things for Radik, even love, though she wasn’t willing to entertain it until they’d spent more time together.
She mulled over what he’d said and not said.
“What I see is a man searching for redemption. I see it in this compound and through your respect toward the people here, through your love for your sister.” And his regard for herself, but she didn’t say it out loud.
“I don’t see a man of war willing to sacrifice innocents. ”
“Yet, that is who I am at my core.”
Saskia glanced sideways at him. She knew it was true, because everything else he’d said to her was the truth.
“Are you willing to risk your heart on such a man?” He turned to face her, forcing her to see him as he was.
What she saw was a man who was a monster to some, a saviour to others. Complicated.
“I can’t answer that question yet,” Saskia said honestly.
“I have a big heart with room for lots of people, but I’ve learned to guard it.
” She thought of her ex-boyfriend Nikolai and for the first time she felt nothing.
No pain, humiliation, or self-blame. He was gone, deservedly killed by a man he’d tried to murder.
Nikolai had been her first and only lover.
She hadn’t given him her heart, but she’d wanted to. His betrayal had hurt.
Radik picked up her hand and pressed it to his chest. “I am a patient man.”
She smiled, thinking of his years of stalking before making his move.
“I will wait for you to gift me with your trust, along with a small piece of your big heart.” He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles.
Her breath caught and tingles shot straight through her, a rush of excitement scrambling her thoughts.
She wanted him, badly, desperately, her body reaching for him in every sense except the physical.
She gently pulled her hand from his grip and stood, backing away from the bed, the cool breeze from the French doors shocking her senses enough that her brain restarted.
“I should go back to bed.” Her feet refused to move.
He gave her a predatory smile, stood and strode to her, taking her elbow in a light grip. “Allow me to escort you to your room.”
It was the… safest option. “Thank you.”
Radik led her out onto the balcony where they paused to look over the moon washed town before he escorted her to her room. He closed her balcony doors, separating them.
She flopped onto her bed, kicking the covers aside and stretching her overheated body out on the cool sheets. A smile curved her lips as her mind replayed every word and every touch as she drifted into sleep.