Chapter 34
Chapter Thirty-Four
“Oh my god!” Saskia dropped her gun and crawled to Radik. “Please tell me it was nonlethal.”
Shola turned on the bedroom light and bent over Radik, pressing her fingers to his neck. “Taser,” she confirmed. “Same as before. He’ll be fine.”
Saskia crouched over him, hugging his chest as she sobbed.
“What happened?” Shola grabbed a lap blanket from the sofa and wrapped it around Saskia’s shoulders.
“I… we… were napping together.” She pushed the hair away from her wet face and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself.
“I woke up with him over top of me. His eyes were open, but I could tell he wasn’t really there.
He accused me… or whoever… of trying to kill him, then he…
then he….” She touched her throat where he’d tried to squeeze the life from her, a shudder rippling through her body.
She’d never in her life felt more helpless.
“You were able to get to your gun?” Shola prompted, dragging a blanket from the bed and covering Radik with it, tucking the edges around him.
Saskia nodded. “I was close enough to my nightstand I was able to get to the gun. When he adjusted his grip on my throat, I broke away and rolled off the bed. He woke up just before you came in.”
“Oh.” Shola grimaced. “He probably won’t appreciate that I didn’t stop to verify if he was awake or not before shooting him.”
“I appreciate it, even if he doesn’t.” As in love as she was with Radik, she didn’t want to die. She picked up his hand, hugging it to her. “What now? Do we just wait for him to wake up?”
Shola nodded, settling on the floor on his other side. “It won’t take long.”
“How many times have you tased him?” Saskia stroked his arm, trying not to panic over how still he was.
“Three times,” Shola said, casting her eyes down. “Once as a test to see if we could bring him down this way and twice to protect you. It was as he ordered.”
Saskia bit her lip, wanting to order Shola to never tase him again, but she also saw the necessity.
He’d nearly strangled her while in a dazed state.
“Can you maybe only taser him if I’m in immediate danger?
” Saskia asked. “Like maybe I can give you a signal that I’m in trouble and then you taser him.
I’m starting to worry about what all these shocks are doing to his brain and body. ”
“Yeah, me too,” Shola admitted, which wasn’t comforting. Saskia would have preferred a full-throated denial that he could be injured in any way. “I suppose we can work on a signal when he has future episodes.”
“There won’t be any.” It was Radik who spoke, his voice weaker than Saskia would’ve liked.
“Muhammed,” she said, stroking him. “How are you feeling?”
He sat up, pushing away from her. “I won’t put you at risk again, which makes Shola’s vigilance unnecessary.” To Shola, he said, “Move a cot to the saferoom and have the security software updated so I can’t leave that room at night without someone letting me out.”
“That’s too extreme,” Saskia protested, but he ignored her, continuing to speak to Shola.
“Put a guard on the room and instruct them on my condition. Under no circumstances is Saskia to join me.”
“I will do as you command, General.” Shola stood and swiftly left the room, probably to avoid what was coming next.
“You can’t be serious!” Saskia’s voice shook.
“Your solution is to lock yourself up, making yourself a prisoner in your own home? And what about me? We were finally finding a new kind of normal in this relationship. How are we supposed to be together if you insist half of our lives must be spent separately?”
“What do you want me to do?” he snapped, sitting on the bed.
The blanket fell to his waist, baring his broad, muscular upper body.
He rubbed a hand over his face and head before looking at her.
She could see the naked fear in his expression.
“Look at your neck, I could have killed you. It would be so fucking easy for me. Like batting a fly.”
Saskia touched her neck. Her skin felt hot and sore and it hurt to swallow.
Pushing herself off the floor, she went to her mirror and examined herself.
There were red marks that would almost certainly turn into bruises.
“It’s not that bad,” she said. “Besides my throat, I actually look pretty good.” Better than usual, in fact.
Tucking her blanket around herself like a towel, she looked at herself from all angles.
She was fuller, her cheeks rounder, her skin clearer.
It must be all the organic, hearty food and fresh air she’d been getting.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I look great. ”
He didn’t smile like he normally would when she said something cheeky. “You’re not listening,” he growled. “I could have killed you. It was luck that stopped it from happening.”
“Luck!?” she said incredulously, spinning around. “I stopped you, not luck.”
He shook his head. “Impossible. You couldn’t have stopped me.”
And just like that, he lost her sympathy.
“I’m not completely useless, you know. I do come with a few combat skills, curtesy of my dad, my cousin, Havel, and multiple tutors.
Even your sister taught me some stuff. You weren’t awake during the attack; you didn’t see what happened.
I fought you off and got away from you.”
He stood, fists clenched. “Alright, you fought me off. What about next time when you can’t get away from me? Or even if you do, what if I don’t wake up? What if you have to shoot me?”
She deflated, her argument turning to ash as she imagined herself shooting him.
“Would you have done it?” he demanded. “Would you have pulled the trigger?”
It hurt to think about, but she forced herself to do it, admitting, “I don’t know… maybe.” She was a fighter with strong survival instincts.
“How would you feel if you had to maim or kill me to stop me from hurting you?”
Tears gathered in her eyes and her voice was choked. “I don’t know. Really bad, if I hurt you. Devastated… despondent… if I k-killed you.”
“Then why would I put you in the position of feeling that way if it can be avoided?” He gripped her arms, and while his hold was firm it was also gentle.
“Locking myself up at night might seem extreme, but it’s a necessary precaution.
Keeping you safe is my first priority, no matter what that entails.
” He kissed her forehead, saying in a low voice, “Please don’t fight me on this decision.
It’s not easy for me to be parted from you for any length of time, but if I know you’re waiting for me, I can do it willingly and gladly. ”
She nodded, unable to speak for fear her tears would break free.
After she got herself under control, she said, “I understand and I’ll do what I can to make it easier for you.
” She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her face to his chest, breathing him in.
“It’s not forever, right? Therapy will help us sort this out. ”
She was grateful when he returned her embrace, holding her tightly. She could bear almost anything as long as they were a team.
She tried smiling brightly as she leaned back to look at him. “I think we skipped supper with our extended afternoon nap. Should we grab something before locking you away for the night?”
“I should…” he started to say, but something in her face must’ve told him how much she needed him near, even if for a short while. “Of course we should have a meal together. Let’s get dressed and see if Nonna left something for us.”
Saskia reached for her jean shorts, relieved he was beginning to sound like his normal self. She needed a bit of normalcy in all this madness.
They went down to the kitchen together. It was 10 PM and the house was quiet. Saskia dug through the fridge coming up with a goat stew. “I knew Nonna wouldn’t forget us.”
Radik was quiet while she heated up bowls of the stew in the microwave.
As the spicy smell of peppers and goat meat filled the kitchen, she glanced at him furtively.
His expression was unreadable, his arms crossed over his chest. Despite his stony exterior, she could sense the riot of emotions on the inside.
She set each steaming bowl on the table and he silently slipped into a chair, staring blankly down at the stew.
Saskia blew on hers before tasting it. “Oh my god, this is so good,” she moaned. “Have some.”
Her order seemed to penetrate his haze and he picked up his spoon, dipped it into the stew and took a bite. There was a spark of appreciation in his gaze before it went blank again. “Yes, it’s good.”
They ate in silence, Saskia doing her best to ignore the awkwardness stretching between them.
She hated it, wanted to escape from it, but at the same time was also determined to be as normal as possible.
She needed to show him his attack would have no lasting damage… even if that wasn’t actually true.
She was shaken and she knew when she closed her eyes and tried to sleep, she would dream of his hands wrapped around her neck, squeezing the breath from her. By the time they sorted out his PTSD, she was going to need a good therapist too.
He broke the silence first. “I’ll make sure Shola stays near you tonight, in case you need anything.”
She almost told him not to do that but realized she would feel better having someone nearby.
“It’s crazy to me that she knows I’m in trouble and can react so quickly,” Saskia murmured. She knew there was surveillance but seeing it in action was wild.
“There are cameras and sensors in every part of the house. The software is designed to know when an attack is happening and to alert security.”
“That’s sounds like some sophisticated technology.” She doubted Guard Dog Securities had the equivalent.
He nodded, his expression serious. “I choose my contracts carefully, doing favours for the kind of people who can help me in return.”
“You got to know a software engineer who works in the field of security?”
“Not just one engineer, but an entire company of them. We have some of the best software technology on the planet here in Marifiya.” He wasn’t bragging, but it was an impressive statement. “None of it means anything though if the threat to you is coming from inside the house.”
She covered his hand with hers. “You can’t beat yourself over this.”
“Your voice is hoarse,” he said bleakly, pulling his hand away, as though accepting comfort from her somehow hurt him. He stood, leaving the majority of his stew untouched. “I’m going to bed now. I’ll see you in the morning.”
She watched him go, tears welling in her eyes. “Muhammed…” Her voice cracked.