Chapter 40
Chapter Forty
Saskia was standing in her small kitchen, her hand hovering over her phone. “Pathetic,” she muttered, but even she didn’t know if she was referring to Radik’s not calling or her desperate desire to hear his voice. “We’re both pathetic.”
Depression was creeping in with each day that passed. It had been over a week since she left Marifiya and not even a check-in to see how she was doing. It was like their brief love affair had flamed out as fast as it started.
But despite only being with him for a short time, everything outside of Radik’s orbit felt off to her. Out of sync. Like the life she used to live couldn’t be achieved anymore. Nothing felt right without him.
She picked up the phone and hit the call button on his contact. Yes, she wanted to hear his voice, but that was because she was pregnant with his child. She wasn’t the pathetic one, he was.
“Saskia,” he answered, and that single word stole her breath for a few seconds leaving her unable to say anything. When she didn’t respond, his tone grew concerned. “Saskia, are you injured? Do you need help? Where’s Shola?”
She hadn’t anticipated such a frantic reaction to her call. She swallowed and managed to croak out, “I’m fine.”
His sigh of relief was audible. Then he said, “Why are you calling?”
It was so cold it felt like an ice pick to the heart. Did he not feel the same longing she felt to hear a loved one’s voice? Her eyes filled with involuntary tears. “No reason.” She ended the call, slumped into the nearest chair and cried harder than she had in months.
Less than a minute later, Shola burst into Saskia’s apartment, her frantic gaze searching before she found Saskia in the kitchen. “Are you hurt?”
Saskia shook her head, unable to speak. She tucked her head into her arms, her shoulders shaking with sobs. She felt Shola’s hand touch her shoulder. “I’m sorry it hurts so much. You don’t deserve this.” She rubbed Saskia’s back in soothing circles.
Saskia laughed bitterly, “What do I deserve?”
Shola was quiet for several seconds, then said, “You deserve to feel loved, respected, and safe.”
Despite her despair, Saskia turned the words over in her head.
Loved? Yes, of course she was loved. She’d seen just how loved she was this past week in the constant visits from her family.
The massive flower arrangement sent to her by the Prime Minister’s office with a note telling her, her position was waiting when she was ready to come back.
Respected? That one was harder. She’d always been the baby of the family, but she liked to think she’d spent the past year and a half proving herself to them.
And safe? Did she even know what the word meant?
She was surrounded by bodyguards most of the time, yet terrible things had still happened to her and the people she loved.
Her musings were enough to stop the tears and she straightened, reaching for a tissue to wipe her tears. “Thanks,” she said to Shola, blowing her nose. “I know Radik sent you to check on me, but I also know you’d have come on your own and I’m grateful.”
Shola smiled and grabbed Saskia’s kettle, filling it with water and setting it to heat on the stove. “Yes, he texted, and yes, he pays me, but I’m here for you. If I didn’t like you, I’d have quit ages ago.”
“I appreciate it,” Saskia said, adding, “Ginger Lemon,” when Shola pointed at the boxes of teabags stacked on her counter.
They fell silent until the tea was ready. “Let’s talk in the living room,” Saskia said, pushing her chair from the table and standing awkwardly, her hand going to her stomach, which seemed to be growing at an impossible rate.
Settling on the couch, Saskia finally looked at Shola, really looked at her. “You’re wearing jeans,” she said, surprised. “You never wear jeans.” Or anything other than combat fatigues.
Shola smiled again, the second genuine smile she’d had since coming to Saskia’s rescue. “I fit in better wearing normie clothes.”
“You look nice,” Saskia complimented. “I like your shirt too.” It was forest green with a cowl neck.
“Thanks,” she said, squirming, clearly uncomfortable with a compliment. “You look nice too.”
Saskia burst out laughing, and, because her eyes were still watery from crying, a few more tears escaped.
She swiped at them, but she was still giggling.
“I chose these sweatpants because they used to be baggy on me but now look at them.” She puffed out her stomach, making the pants go tight.
“I need to go shopping for maternity clothes now that I have access to the shops of Prague again.”
“I’ll take you,” Shola said quickly. “Any time you want to go. Just say the word.”
“You hate shopping,” Saskia pointed out. “You’re just saying that because you don’t want me to cry again.”
Shola shrugged. “That and Radik pays me a lot to give you whatever you want.” The laughter disappeared and Shola said, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have reminded you.”
“That Radik exists?” Saskia shook her head and pointed at her stomach. “I think this here is going to be the constant reminder.”
Shola reached out unexpectedly, her hand hovering over Saskia’s stomach, then asked, “May I touch it?” Saskia nodded and Shola smoothed her hand over the bump, a look of wonder on her face. “It seems so crazy to me that there’s a baby in there.”
“Me too,” Saskia admitted, “But I’m getting used to the idea.”
“Are you looking forward to your appointment this afternoon?”
Shaun had made an appointment for Saskia with a maternity doctor at the hospital, saying she wanted Saskia to have the best pre- and post-natal care. Saskia was finally going to get an official delivery date.
“Yeah, I think I am,” she said, resting her teacup on top of her belly.
“Are you going to find out if it’s a girl or a boy?”
Saskia was a bit surprised by all the questions, but she and Shola had been gradually growing closer since their exile to Prague.
Shola was renting the apartment above Saskia’s, so they were in close proximity almost all the time.
“I don’t know.” She thought about Radik, what he might want.
A boy or a girl? Didn’t most men want boys?
Saskia didn’t have a preference. She would love it unconditionally no matter what it chose to be.
“I think you should find out so we can decorate the nursery,” Shola said decisively, as though she had any decision-making power in the matter. “Otherwise, you’ll have to pick an ugly colour, like yellow.”
Saskia burst out laughing. “I like yellow, and colour has nothing to do with this baby’s sex. The baby can decide what it likes when it’s a little older. For now, we’ll go with animal themes. Like yellow giraffes and parrots.”
Shola curled her lip in disgust and stood. “C’mon, grab your coat. We’ll go shopping before your appointment. Get you some clothes that fit.”
“Who are you and what have you done with my bodyguard?” Saskia was happy with Shola’s suggestion, but the Shola of a few weeks ago would never have suggested taking Saskia into a public place where she could be vulnerable to potential attack.
Shola opened the door once Saskia had her coat on and zipped to her throat. “You need some fresh air,” Shola said. “Besides, your cousin has enough heat on you, even the King of England couldn’t get near you.”
“He does?” Saskia asked, surprised.
Shola nodded, leading Saskia out of the building, bodily covering her until they reached the car, which was pulling up to the curb.
“You haven’t left your apartment in a week so you don’t see them.
” She pointed out the window at two adjacent buildings.
“Snipers on each roof. People on the ground and someone in the hallway outside your door as well as someone in the stairwell.”
Saskia was shocked. “I had no idea.” Should she be impressed or horrified by that level of security? “Seems like overkill.”
“They’re good at blending in,” Shola said. “I think your cousin is worried that we haven’t found the people involved in your attack in Pretoria. Radik is worried too.”
“That’s why he sent you,” Saskia pointed out.
Shola laughed and shook her head. “No, he sent a contingent of mercenaries to keep an eye on you. I’m here as your personal bodyguard and companion, something he would have insisted on even if there wasn’t a threat to your life.”
“Wow,” Saskia breathed, sinking into her seat. She was stunned. According to Shola there were a ton of people following her around and keeping an eye on her, yet, except for Shola, she hadn’t seen a single person.
And for some reason she didn’t hate the idea. She would have a year ago, but now? She smoothed her hand over her bump and shuddered. Now she wanted all the protection she could get.
She was safer in the DRC, with Radik. More isolated. Whoever had targeted her and Auralia hadn’t been able to get to her there, so she’d let her concern fade. Now she was back in Prague and much more vulnerable to whomever had attacked her in Pretoria.
And she no longer had just her own safety to think of.
She clasped Shola’s hand, squeezing it. “Thank you for being here with me.”
Shola seemed to understand and squeezed back without a word.
Their shopping trip was unexpectedly enjoyable, Shola insisting Saskia spare no expense in getting everything she would need for herself and the baby. Saskia tried to stop her when she pulled out a credit card.
“I’m not taking his money,” Saskia insisted, her hand on Shola’s arm as Shola tried to give the card to a shop assistant.
Shola turned to Saskia and said in a low voice, “Your baby daddy is richer than god. We’re not just talking millions, but billions. I know you have your own money, but he needs to take some responsibility for this baby, even if it’s only financial.”
“I don’t know,” Saskia said doubtfully.
Shola gave her a penetrating look. “Imagine his face when he looks over his credit card bill and sees a bunch of baby purchases. It’ll make him squirm in his chair. Consider it our petty revenge.”