12. Chapter Twelve
Chapter Twelve
Ash
A sh, ungracefully, flops down on the grass.
Pulling some grass between her fingers. It’s shorter where Raif has mowed it here, sharp where the blade has cut it.
She knows she needs to make up with her mom.
Raif was kind to come mow their grass, but having him here means her mom will most likely pester her about him.
Who is he? Does she like him? Is he single?
And Ash doesn’t know the answers to all those questions.
She knows Raif is a kind man. Quiet and strong, keeps to himself.
But friendly and polite. He’s different from James, who was more outgoing and always had a smile on his face for everyone he met.
Raif’s smiles are private, small. Given only in small quantities, it makes them seem more important.
She shakes her head of the thoughts. She doesn’t know him enough to have feelings for him, she barely knows him.
She looks back to Raif, who has silently, and without being asked, gone back to mowing the lawn.
This time with a shirt on. Those muscles, that long expanse of skin dusted with dark hair on his chest. She wonders what it would feel like to run her fingers through it, would it be coarse and rough or soft?
What would he smell like up close? Especially after mowing the lawn like this and working up a sweat?
James always smelled like hay and horses.
Definitely from being around them so much. But Raif, what would his scent carry?
She lies down on the grass. Letting it tickle her arms and legs where the cutoff shorts don’t cover.
Today is a warmer day, the perfect day to be outside.
The lawnmower is hypnotic, repetitive. She closes her eyes and lets the sunlight bathe her face.
She knows she should move, get up, and go into the house and talk to her parents, but she likes being outside with Raif.
He’s a calming presence in her chaotic life. She feels comfortable around him, safe.
A while later, she notices the mower is off.
Opening her eyes and turning her head, she sees Raif sitting next to her.
Feet planted on the ground, knees up, and arms across them.
He’s looking straight in front of him at the yard, and she takes a moment to study him.
Long dark hair curling at the base of his neck.
Big, thick mustache. But not wild, it’s trimmed and well cared for.
He’s a bear of a man, strong arms and legs.
Shoulders so broad they could envelop her body, and she’s not a small woman.
He must be six-foot-two at least to her five-ten.
Dirty boots adorn his feet, covered by worn jeans.
She knows he works at the lodge, that he and his brothers run it.
She’s never been, but knows it’s a Silver Lake town staple and has been there as long as the town has.
But she doesn’t know what he does there.
His hands are smooth, uncalloused, and she has yet to see a scar on his body.
She’d think he worked indoors except for the wear and dirt on his clothes, clearly a person who can pull their weight. Good genes, maybe.
“You can go, you know? The lawn is done. You can leave.”
He turns and looks at her, eyes so appraising she fights not to look away.
“Do you want me to leave Ash?”
He usually calls her ma’am. Ever so respectful. But here it seems more private. Like he’s asking if she really wants him there, and she does. Who knows why, but she does.
“There’s some more work to be done if you’re up for it. Flower beds need tending to. You could help?” She doesn’t mean the last part to come out as a question, let alone as soft as she says it. He gives her one of those small smiles.
“Of course, ma’am.”
He stands and holds out his hand, she grasps it, and he pulls her quickly to her feet. Releasing her hand gently, not lingering.
She leads him to the shed and pulls out gloves for both of them and some tools. Handing them off to him and carrying some herself. She’s always liked gardening and had helped her mother set up the flower beds and vegetable garden when they moved into this house.
They kneel in the dirt in silence. She pulls on gloves and begins weeding when she notices he has forgone gloves and is doing it by hand.
His hands move gently. Even pulling the weeds with care, as if not to hurt them.
He’s focused on his job, and it’s only after he looks at her with a quirked eyebrow that she realizes she was staring.
Clearing her throat, she goes back to her job of clearing out a particularly nasty weed.
It’s only when it occurs to her that she can’t see as well as before that she figures out the sun is setting. She’s been working side by side with Raif the whole afternoon. It feels good to do this type of work, especially with quiet help.
“I think that’s good for today.”
He nods in agreement and gathers both of their tools easily, making his way back to the shed. She helps him put everything away, and when she turns to him, she realizes it feels like the end of a date. Does she hug him? Shake his hand?
“I know you’re at the station tomorrow, but the next day...Can I come and help you some more?”
His offer is tempting. It’s been a long time since she spent time with someone who wasn’t her parents.
Yes, she goes out for drinks with Sam and the other firefighters.
And yes, she and Sam hang out at his place, eating take-out and watching movies.
But it doesn’t feel the same as it did today.
She’s usually lost in her head with all the things she has to do for work or home, she never really relaxes as she has with Raif.
“I’ve actually got some stuff to do at my own house.”
“The paint,” he nods in understanding. “How did that go? Color look nice?”
“Yeah it’s fine. Better than before.” She tries not to think too much about her breakdown the last time she tried to paint the living room, and how it’s still half done.
“Anything I can do to help?” He looks so earnest, so fragile. Like it’s taking a lot for him to ask. And she has to know.
“Why?”
He shuffles his feet. Still meeting her eyes, but clearly slightly nervous. She knows she can come off aggressive and hard-headed, but she can feel that exterior falling away a little the more she’s around him.
“If I can be honest, I want to be around you. Get to know you more.”
“Why? There are other people at the fire station. You’re not spending the day with them weeding flower beds and mowing their parents' lawn,” she says with a snort.
Trying to play off the insecurity she feels that they’re touching on something real here, something deeper than him wanting just to help.
“They’re not you.”
She swallows hard. He looks at her with his deep eyes, and she can feel her cheeks grow warm with a blush. She doesn’t know what to say and kicks the dirt with her worn sneaker.
“You can...I’ve got a leaky faucet at my house. I’ve tried tightening it, but I think there’s a problem with the pipes in the wall. It’s an older house, and I’m fixing it up, slowly.”
“I can fix it, ma’am. I do all the maintenance at the lodge. I’m good with my hands.”
Her eyes flit to his hands, where they’re clenched at his sides. Not so calm and collected, she sees.
“Give me your number, I’ll text you my address. If you want to come, you can. I won’t hold you to it, though.”
She pulls out her phone with shaky hands and tells herself to get it together.
It’s only one co-worker helping out another.
She could probably ask Sam for help, or Lucas or Ben.
Or any of the other firefighters in town.
Hell, she could ask John, the hardware store owner, if he knows anyone in town who could fix it.
But she wants Raif to be the one to help.
“I sent you a text so you have my number and address. I’ll um…I guess I’ll see you.”
“I’ll be there.” He quirks up one side of his mouth in one of those small smiles, and she can’t help the hard thump of her heart. That maybe she’s made a new friend. That maybe it could possibly someday be more.
When she gets home that evening and crashes hard in bed, she pulls out her phone.
There’s one new message, and it’s from Raif.
‘Thank you for today’ it says. She feels like she should be the one thanking him.
For talking with her dad at the diner. For helping her parents out and mowing their lawn.
For weeding the garden bed with her for hours.
She doesn’t know why he’s thanking her, she didn’t do anything but be a little rude to him and not offer him anything to drink.
But it feels like a lot. Like he’s thanking her for spending time with him.
Like he’s thanking her for being her. She curls up around her charging phone and falls asleep.