30. Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty
Ash
H er next day off, Ash drives to her parents' house. Her mother had her father text her and tell her the vegetables from the garden needed picking. So here she is pulling weeds and harvesting vegetables from her parents’ garden.
It’s quiet work. She does it alone. Her mother leaving her to it, and her father too weak to help.
There are onions, turnips, carrots, and peas.
Ash is surprised they survived the Montana weather, but she’s surprised every springtime.
It’s only when the first basket is full that she makes her way into the house.
She can hear the TV on, her dad most likely watching.
Which means her mom is in the house somewhere.
They haven’t made up. Last time Ash was here, she stormed off after her mother told her she wanted grandchildren and didn’t respect Ash’s desire not to date right now.
She waited for her mother to text or call, but that never happened.
She should have expected it. Growing up, her mother was never one to apologize, even when it was clearly her fault.
When her mother opened the gate to the cow pasture and forgot to close it, and Ash had to spend eight hours getting all the cows back, her mother never said sorry.
When they would argue, and her mother would say she wished Ash were a different person, in the heat of the moment, she never apologized afterward.
It was always ‘yes, Mama’. Her father treated her mother much in the same way.
Never expecting an apology, or affection, really.
And everyone deserves affection, Ash knows that now.
She’s just set the basket of vegetables on the kitchen counter when she hears her mother come in. Her shoulders immediately tense, preparing for a fight.
“They’re looking good this year, aren’t they?”
Her mother begins to take the vegetables out of the basket and move them to the sink to wash them. Ash just watches her. Her mother hasn’t said thank you for Ash picking them, hell hasn’t even said thank you for Ash planting them.
“Yes, Mama.”
“How’s things at the station? You keeping safe?”
“Yes, Mama.”
“I asked how things are, Ashley.”
She huffs out a quiet breath.
“They’re fine, same as always. Some fires, some car accidents, some people needing help.”
“That’s good. Just stay safe, don’t want you getting hurt out there like Sam. He’s a man, he’ll recover. You? Not so much.”
Ash tightens her fists on the counter. She knows her mother is being rude on purpose, trying to provoke her into a fight.
“How’s that lovely man who helped with the grass? Raphael?”
“Raif.”
“Yes, how is he? He’s very handsome, you know.”
Her mother picks up a large turnip and brushes the dirt off into the sink, not looking at Ash but waiting for an answer.
“He’s fine.”
“That was mighty fine of him to help out your father like that. Did you thank him properly?”
Ash doesn’t even know what that means, ‘thank him properly’. Would her mother count the blow job she gave him? Or the fact that she’s fallen for him?
“Yes, Mama.”
“Good girl. You should invite him over for supper. I’ll make a roast. I’m sure he’d like to see you.”
“I see him at work, Mama.” And at her house, and his.
“Yes, but I’m sure he’d like to see you outside of work. He was a nice man. Strong, healthy, taller than you.”
Oh boy, here she goes with the height thing again.
“Seems like a good family man. Just call him Ashley.”
It’s an order, not a suggestion. Ash knows that if she calls him, Raif will come over and be with her.
He’d help in the garden, have dinner with her folks, and spend time with her.
But she knows he’s working at the lodge today, and said he had to start on his brother’s cabin, and she doesn’t want to bother him, especially to spend time with her parents.
“Not today, Mama, he said he has work to do at the lodge.”
“Maybe some other time then.”
The disappointment is clear in her mother’s voice, put there most likely to make Ash feel bad.
“Are you interested in him, though? Raif? He’s a good man-”
“Strong, healthy, I know.”
She rolls her eyes and picks at a carrot.
“Don’t sass me, Ashley Ann. I’m merely asking about your thoughts on the man.”
Here’s the opportunity for Ash to tell her mom they’re dating, that he’s her boyfriend. But it feels like her mom would win then. Like she would think she somehow orchestrated it, and Ash doesn’t want that.
“He’s nice, we’re...talking.”
“Talking? What is that slang for? Having sex?”
“Mama!”
“Well, is it? Are you sleeping with him?”
“We’re talking, getting to know one another.”
Her mother clucks her tongue. She would never outright say it, but her mother would prefer it if she were sleeping with Raif, which would feel like he was roped into Ash that way. She doesn’t want to give her the satisfaction of knowing.
“Well, don’t talk for too long. A man like that will get snatched up quick, and then where will you be? Alone.”
Ash tunes out the rest of her mother’s rant.
She goes on and on about Ash needing someone.
About how a person isn’t complete without someone else in their life.
And Ash thinks that’s sort of correct. She felt lost for a long time after James died.
With Michelle, it was different, they drifted apart.
Even though she was sad, she knew that it was time to let Michelle go.
With James, her whole world was rocked, torn apart.
And she didn’t know how to live for a long time.
Now with Raif, it feels better. She looks forward to each day at the station where she can see him.
She hopes that they will spend time together on her days off.
She blushes when he looks at her like she’s his whole world.
And she feels special knowing she will be the first for him when they do finally have sex, well, sex in the penetrative manner.
It feels like healing with Raif, like moving forward when for so long she just stood still.
She wants to spend her days with him, cuddled up and talking softly about their lives.
She wants to know everything about him and wants to tell him about her.
She wants, and she finally feels, like she’s going to get that.