Chapter 24
They wanted her to bare everything. Uma’s stomach clenched. Unlike the Ragoru, her scars were a result of her own stupidity. Everything that had happened had been her fault. The death of her family had been her fault. She knew that, and her sole surviving brother knew that.
If the gods had been just at all, she would have died with them. It had been Renny who had found her and dragged her home to nurse her back to health. It had been Renny who had given her something to live for again by giving her a focus for her anger and need for both retribution and pay back her debts to the dead.
She had been stupid. Young and in love, and far too trusting despite her father’s warnings about many of the huntsmen. He had become suspicious of the order in later years and the cruelty that he saw and heard of from her two brothers enlisted with them.
“I suppose you didn’t miss the fact that my family has a long relationship with the Order of Huntsmen,” she said at last, and three shifts in the shadows that she could make out looked enough like nods that she decided to take it as that. “It’s true. The hereditary trade of my family is that of blacksmiths along my mother’s line. My mother, who was the last of her line due to a fire in the citadel when she was a child that took most of her family from her aside from her father who managed to carry her to safety, was a blacksmith. She then trained my father when he married into the family.”
She smiled in spite herself at recollecting the way her father had told this story, the way he had smiled as if it had all been an amusing thing orchestrated by the gods. He had never been ashamed of breaking tradition. Unfortunately, that didn’t keep his sons from succumbing to their pressure and returning to it. Her smile slipped and fell away as the faces of her brothers rose in her mind’s eye. Frank and Will. Gods, how she missed them.
“His family was closely linked to the Order, and most men were expected to become huntsmen. As the only male born to his father, he was expected to join upon reaching age of maturity, but he defied them to become a blacksmith.” Her smile faintly returned for a moment. “He said that he couldn’t bear to be parted from my mother for weeks or months at a time in service to the Order, but his family never quite forgave him for it. As children we never quite understood why, since the Order was made out to be a glamorous life. My two oldest brothers, with the pressure and encouragement of my father’s family, signed on as soon as they were old enough. I almost signed on myself except that I saw that I would not enjoy the sort of career that they would and declined. But there was a huntsman... Huntsman Drake.”
Vrin grunted sourly, his breath huffing into her hair. She bit back a smile. Someone sounded a little jealous.
“This huntsman was desirable?” Kam asked in tone dripping with disbelief. “A huntsman? A filthy huntsman?” He shuddered and made a sound of disgust. “Every huntsman we ever encountered had reeked of filth, breeding, and numerous different scents entwined with his of the females he rutted.”
Kam proceeded to make a retching sound that brought a chuckle to Uma’s lips.
“That actually sounds like a fair description of many of them when they return to the citadel, though I didn’t know about the women part.” She made a face. How revolting! She was never so glad that she had never actually caved to the pressure from Drake to sleep with him. “But yes, Drake was considered a very good catch among the huntsmen. He was an elite huntsman, highly skilled and considered something of a hero in the citadel. I don’t recall ever hearing him defeating Ragoru, and in retrospect I am sure that he wouldn’t have gone through the sort of trouble to hunt one, but he was well known for clearing out dangerous predators afflicting different regions of the Western Continent. He was a bit of a celebrity, especially with his good looks. Tall, muscular, and possessing both a handsome face and a deep voice, he could have easily had any woman he wanted.”
“And he wanted you,” Vrin growled, guessing correctly.
She nodded and shifted forward to rest her head against his chest. His cheek and muzzle were no longer brushing the top of her head, and she stilled for a moment, surprised at how much she noticed their absence. She was tempted to shift back but the steady, powerful beat of his heart beneath her ear was so soothing. As was the heat of his body enveloping her further. She only had to wait a few heartbeats, however, and somehow he had bent his head to brush his muzzle against the top of her head once more. Uma smiled against his chest. She wasn’t sure how he was holding his neck at that angle without developing a crick but at that moment she just appreciated it.
“He did,” she agreed. “At first I thought it was because he was within the same ranks as my older brother Frank. They had studied and trained together and worked their way through the ranks at the same time. I didn’t realize at that time that his reasoning was a lot more tactical.”
Kam stiffened behind her, his claws settling to grip urgently on her thigh. It was as if he were holding onto her desperately in order to control his anger. “He pursued mating with you for false reasons?”
Uma turned her head to peer in his direction. Was that a threatening tone she heard in his voice? If she wasn’t mistaken, he sounded genuinely affronted by the idea.
“He pursued me because he was ordered to,” she replied bluntly, her stomach souring with anger. She had thought time would have dissipated it some, but it was still a fresh wound on her heart. “His superior put it in motion, but Drake arranged to meet me through his connection with my brother. He played the charming suitor in order to keep an eye on my parents who were commissioned to handle a lot of custom, and often secret, work for the Order.”
“They believed your sire betrayed them,” Laro rumbled.
A faint smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. “My parents were honorable, so their ‘betrayal’ of the huntsmen only demonstrated how corrupt and vile they had become. My parents received instructions to engineer a weapon that would be capable of killing a Ragoru with one blow based off some of the research designs that Drake had found in their workshop.”
She shook her head, still unable to believe that he managed that without anyone knowing. “The Order had believed for some time that my parents were withholding their research and only giving them what they decided to offer. This was why they sent in Drake—and he delivered, although we hadn’t realized it at the time. When the new orders came in, my father refused. That refusal signed his death warrant. My brother Will had overheard and sent me a secret message to get our family out of the citadel. It was smuggled to me by an old family friend in a public place in the old town sector where I was attending class. He had it delivered to me there intentionally since he knew that our parents were being watched. He had depended on me to follow through. He had arranged for us to meet him at a disclosed place. He had intended to take us to the primitive landscape of the southern continent where the Order wouldn’t track us.”
“And the Order found out.” Laro’s large hand reached around Kam to grip her shoulder and squeeze with sympathy.
Uma swallowed back the tears she felt welling up and nodded. “I was stupid,” she choked. “I never guessed that Drake was the one who had betrayed them. I trusted him with my heart and my life. And I was afraid of falling into the Order’s hands before we made it out. Drake was the only one I trusted. I immediately went to him and asked him to help me get my family out to the meeting place. I told him everything and showed him Will’s letter.”
“He betrayed you,” Vrin cut in with a snarl. “I will skin him alive and pull out his bowels while he watches.”
She smiled and gave his chest a pat. That was the sweetest and most violent gift she had ever been offered. He deserved that... and worse.
“He betrayed me,” she agreed, giving voice to it out loud for the first time. She had never even said as much to Renny, her own shame keeping her silent, though she believed her superior suspected. Her voice shook but she pushed on, needing to get the rest of the story out. It was like she was scraping out the festering rot that had been growing beneath the scars in her heart. “He followed me to my parents house, followed me right through the door.” A sob caught in her throat, and she blinked furiously as she worked her way past it. “I never got a sound out. He attacked me. He tried to slice my throat, but I dodged at the last moment which gave me this cut across my cheek.”
One of Vrin’s left hands came up and she felt the brush of his claw over said scar. His touch was almost reverent, which brought a new sting of tears to her eyes. “The mark of a warrior,” he rasped. “You fought well.”
A grimace twisted her lips. “Not well enough. I was not yet in training to be a guardswoman. It took him little effort to win. I can still feel the strength of his kick to my stomach.” She shuddered, recalling her shock at his sudden brutality and the pain when he had never been anything but unfailingly gentle with her. “That was all it took to drop me. I fell and he climbed over, this chilling smile on his face.”
She raised her hand to her throat, brushing her fingers over the skin that he had crushed beneath his hand. “He held me by throat and carved into my face until he was satisfied with my pain, and I couldn’t even scream from it because he was squeezing the breath out of me.” Her hand drifted down her chest, over her heart. “And then he stabbed me. When I woke up it was in the house of a guardswoman. Renny told me that my attacker’s knife had only just missed my heart, but I had been unconscious for days. But my parents...” A sob broke from her as all the pain and misery unleashed. “They were dead. He had killed my mother, my father, and my baby sister and set the house on fire, and I was left for dead just inside the entrance where Renny found me. It was only later that I found out that my brother Will had been executed and his body hung outside the Order’s headquarters with a sign that read traitor hung around his throat.”
Her shoulder shook with her tears, her sobs growing louder as she pressed her face into Vrin’s fur. She was certain she was getting his fur all wet and snotty, but he didn’t protest. He held her there. His hand came up to cup the back of her head as he growled in a light sound that was surprisingly soothing. Kam’s muzzle brushed the side of her head and he whined softly in his throat.
“Release your sorrow, brave female,” he whispered. “It is not your fault. That male deceived you. Your pain and loss are his doing, not yours.”
“I shouldn’t have trusted him,” she choked out between sobs.
“We all must trust someone sometime,” Vrin rumbled. “Sometimes we choose wrong and place our trust in someone unworthy who will use it to harm us, but that is never the fault of the one who is wronged.”
She sniffled as she tried to rein in her emotion and nodded. She pulled back slightly, her hand coming up to his wet fur as tears continued to run freely down her cheeks. “I am messing up your fur.”
He chuckled softly and tucked her head back against his chest. “You have seen for yourself that I have had worse on my fur. Cry if it helps. My fur can be cleaned.”
She crumpled against him gratefully, her body shaking with the strength of her grief. All the while Kam and Vrin held her between them, and Laro’s large hand stroked her until the last of her sobs subsided. They lay there quietly together for a long while before Laro grunted softly, his hand tucking around her waist. She couldn’t imagine how close he had to be squeezed against Kam to be able to do that—and that only brought back memories of seeing what he had done to Vrin. A blush ran up her cheeks, and she immediately chased the idea away.
She was definitely not feeling sexy at the moment and in no shape to chase after any ideas that might arise from her feral imagination.
“Please tell me that the male died in Rager’s retribution,” Laro growled finally.
Uma’s head turned toward his voice in surprise, and she brushed a hand against her wet cheek in an attempt to dry it. “I did not realize that other Ragoru would know his name. In the citadel it is widely known because Arie helped with the reformation, but I am surprised you know who he is.”
Kam barked a laugh close enough to her ear to make her jump. “Ragoru territories are far apart but word spreads quickly. How do you think so many knew that the citadels were now safe to approach and that we are welcome to mate with humans? It caught on quickly, and the lead male responsible for it is now very well known amongst most triads, I think.”
She smiled over at him. “I suppose that makes sense,” she agreed but then sighed as her mind drifted back to Drake. “Unfortunately, he was not in the citadel at that time. That would have been a nice bit of revenge if he had been destroyed with his beloved Order. He had not even returned when the disband notice went out for the remaining huntsmen, so I have no idea what happened to him.”
“The male deserved death,” Vrin snarled.
“If the gods are just, then he is lying dead somewhere, his bones picked clean by scavengers,” she replied.
And if he wasn’t, then gods help him if she ever got her hands on him.
“If he is still alive, the male best hope that we never come across him,” Laro observed angrily, echoing her thoughts. He snarled but then huffed a loud sigh as he gave her waist a squeeze. “Now sleep. We can all use the rest.”
Vrin and Kam grunted in agreement, and Kam nestled closer behind her, his breath fanning her ear.
“Are you warm enough?” he whispered.
She smiled at the note of worry in his voice and snuggled comfortably between them and Laro’s thick arm. Her eyes drooped and she yawned, drawing a chuckle from all three males.
“Sleep,” Vrin said quietly, his muzzle brushing her head in a gentle caress as she drifted off in the heavy warmth of slumber.