Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
It didn’t matter that there wasn’t much to tell.
Only the minor fact she had been DMd by a bona fide celebrity.
Sally listened as if it was the most exciting news in the world, just like a good friend should.
By the time Frankie had finished reciting what she could remember of the message from Dylan three hundred times or so, her friend was still giving a decent impression of someone who was interested.
They were sitting on the grass verge by the field, watching the donkeys potter about, but Frankie’s heart was hammering in her chest at the retelling, and she was torn between enjoying her friend’s reaction and wanting to jump up and run home so she could turn on her new phone.
As if reading her mind, Sally stood up first, putting her hand out to help Frankie up.
‘Let’s go,’ she said.
They raced along the lane, giggling like they used to do as kids, and after a good hour’s kerfuffle because new phones are never as easy to set up as you think they will be, Frankie and Sally were both back online.
Sally even seemed delighted with her new phone, which eased Frankie’s conscience, just a little.
‘Anything?’ said Frankie, as Sally scrolled through her Instagram messages.
‘I’m looking…’ said Sally. ‘Ooh, yours was good. Sufficiently casual, I think. And his is nice. Breezy.’
‘Yes, but has he written again or is there just one message from last night? Please look faster, I can’t take the stress.’
But there was nothing there. No more messages. Frankie could hardly believe it. After all that.
Frankie stifled a sob. This whole situation was getting out of hand. She’d spent one measly day with him, that was all. This crush, or whatever it was, was completely ridiculous.
‘It’s early days,’ said Sally. ‘Set yourself up an Instagram account, go on. I’ll tell him he should be able to message you directly soon, that should give him a nudge.’
Her fingers tapped over the keys as Frankie flopped down onto the bed despondently, resisting the urge to hurl her new phone across the room. She definitely didn’t have another ￡250 to spare. ‘I just…’
Sally sat down beside her and patted her hand. ‘You can say it, Frankie.’
‘I’m not sure…’
‘Come on. It’s me. You don’t even need to say it. You know I’m an empath, Franks. I feel whatever you do.’
Frankie resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Here we go.
‘Don’t you give me that look, Frankie Jacks. You know I have a natural affinity with other people’s pain and suffering.’
Not a hint of irony. None. Frankie loved her friend to pieces, she was closer than a sister ever could be, but one thing that Sally wasn’t, was an empath.
‘Oh… for God’s sake, Sally, you are the least empathetic person I know.’ Frankie bit her lip as soon as the words were out, as if she could somehow pull them back in. ‘Sorry. Sorry. I didn’t mean that.’
But Sally was on her feet again in an instant, forehead lined in pain.
‘Ouch, I think you did.’
Frankie sat up, shaking her head frantically. ‘No, honestly. I didn’t. It’s all the stress of this stuff with Dylan, you know. Forget I said anything.’
‘I see. It’s like that is it?’ said Sally, her fists clenched at her sides.
‘Like what?’
‘Like you spend one day with a celebrity and we’re not good enough for you anymore.’
Frankie gaped at her friend. ‘That’s not… no, don’t be silly.’
‘Well, why else would you say something so hurtful?’ said Sally, her hands clenching.
Frankie sighed. ‘I’m sorry, Sal. I didn’t mean it.’
She one hundred per cent did mean it. Sally was the least empathetic person on the planet but she had been really sweet about this whole Dylan thing. Something like guilt unspooled in Frankie’s stomach.
‘It’s okay,’ said Sally, who also had skin as thick as a rhino, thankfully. She plopped back down on the bed beside Frankie and resumed patting her hand. Frankie tried not to feel irritated. ‘We always lash out at those closest to us.’
‘Yeah. That’s what it is, I’m sure. Sorry, Sal.’
Sally glanced at her watch. ‘It’s okay. Honestly. Look, I’m sorry, I need to get to the hotel, it’s nearly time for my shift. Will you…?’
Frankie attempted a smile at her friend. She felt terrible. Why had she been so mean? ‘I’ll be fine. Thanks, though. And, sorry again. I didn’t mean to snap at you.’
Sally shrugged. ‘I get it. He’ll message, I’m sure he will.’
‘Message again, you mean. He has sent me one. Can you forward it to me? At least I’ll have that as proof when I wake up tomorrow convinced all this was a dream.’
‘Course I can,’ said Sally.
Frankie had to turn away from the look of pity in her friend’s eyes. ‘I’m not delusional. He genuinely did DM me,’ she said, sounding pathetic even to her own ears.
‘I know he did, honey. Technically, he DMd me. And he’ll be in touch again soon, you’ll see.’
And with that, Sally was gone. Frankie lay back on her bed and let out a deep sigh. Her world, which had always seemed so perfect and safe and idyllic, suddenly seemed so small.
Three days went by and still no message to her or Sally.
Frankie set up her own page and had drafted out a dozen options for more messages she could send him, another gentle chase, a little nudge to remind him of her existence but the longer it went on, the more of those pity looks she got from the islanders.
The more pathetic it seemed. The more that stormy day seemed like a distant dream, fading into memory.
She hadn’t seen Jake for a couple of days either, but on Friday night she was sitting in her usual corner of the Stargazer Inn when he slid onto the bench beside her. She put down her phone hastily, jabbing at the side button to clear the screen, but not quickly enough.
‘You’re still thinking about him, aren’t you?’ said Jake, pushing his blond hair back with one hand.
‘Whatever gave you that idea?’ said Frankie, wryly.
‘The fact that you bought a new phone just so you could stare at his Instagram page all day long was one clue,’ Jake replied.
Frankie bristled. ‘That is absolutely not all I do.’
‘No need to get defensive. I get it.’
‘You do?’ Frankie turned her body towards Jake’s in surprise. He was very broad. He took up a lot of space in the world, especially in this tiny corner of the pub.
Jake pulled at his hair again. ‘Yeah. Course I do. Wanting something – someone – you can’t have. It’s torture.’ His green eyes held hers for a second before he dropped his gaze, cheeks flushing. Silence spread between them like fog, thickening and filling the tiny space.
‘Jake, I… I had no idea. Who’s the lucky girl?’ Frankie regretted those words as soon as they left her lips. In that split second, she knew the answer. Or perhaps she’d always known. Dylan had bloody known. Damn him.
Jake glanced towards the bar, as if checking for witnesses.
When he finally spoke his voice was soft, low, rumbling into her ear, making her shiver.
‘It’s you, Frankie. How can you not know that?
It’s always been you.’ His green eyes were so clear and tinged with gold. How had she never noticed before?
Say something, Frankie.
‘Is this a wind-up?’ she said, patting his hands where they were clenched on the table, trying not to notice how strong and tanned they were.
‘I might have known you’d make a joke,’ said Jake in a pained voice.
‘Sorry. It’s just… that’s what we do, you know?’
‘I know.’
‘Sorry.’
‘There’s nothing you can do about it,’ said Jake with a sigh that seemed to come from the depths of his soul. Frankie’s heart thudded.
‘That’s not… no, I only meant, I was sorry for making light of it.’
‘You really had no idea?’ Jake’s eyebrows lifted.
‘No. I… Well, maybe. A little. The other day, the way you looked at me, when you got all weird about Dylan… I wondered then. Why didn’t you tell me before?’
Jake rubbed at his face with those huge hands. ‘I don’t know. There was never a good time.’
‘Oh no, right, it’s not like we’re in the pub every Friday night.’
‘Not helping.’
‘Sorry.’
Jake sighed and gave her another long look. ‘I was going to, I guess. Then he turned up and suddenly I knew.’ He practically spat the word ‘he’.
‘Knew what?’ said Frankie, gently.
‘I knew there was no chance. There was never going to be any chance. I decided that day I wasn’t ever going to tell you. I was just going to wait for it to pass, you know. These things always do.’
Something clenched in Frankie’s chest at his words.
She studied his face, the square jaw, the barely there stubble.
He actually smelled quite pleasant today, too.
He was no Dylan, that much was true. But he was sweet, and kind, and…
had a crush on her, apparently. At least until he found something better.
It was a nice feeling, and she wished desperately she could return it.
‘And now?’ she said, softly.
He shrugged. ‘I don’t know. I didn’t plan to say anything ever.
Seeing you there, tonight, all sad, it just came out.
I’m not…’ He waved his hands. ‘I don’t expect anything, just so you know.
I was… I don’t know what I was trying to do really, other than let you know I can identify with your misery. ’
‘It loves company.’ Frankie smiled, though her heart was pounding.
‘Exactly. And now you know how I’ve felt for the last five years.’
Frankie’s eyes widened. ‘Five years? You’ve had a crush on me for five years?’
‘Say it a bit louder, if you would, for the people in the back.’
Frankie put a finger to her own lips, her face turning red. ‘Sorry. Sorry, I didn’t mean to shout.’
Jake’s mouth twisted into a smile. ‘It’s not like this day could get any more humiliating.’
‘You’ve had a crush on me for five years?’ she whispered, giving his shoulder a little nudge.
‘Something like that,’ he said, biting his lip.
‘That…’ her voice stuttered in time with her heart.
‘In fact, I know how long to the exact day,’ he said after a second. ‘I fell for you the moment I stepped off the boat that first day on the job.’
Frankie tried to cast her mind back, but it was hazy.
‘I don’t… there was a lot of you, all at once.
’ And there had been. Only a few of the oyster fishermen came back year on year depending on quotas, but that year, there had been a boon.
A boat full of young, athletic men and a few salty old sea dogs arriving in the harbour had caused quite a stir among the ladies of Herm. That, she remembered.
‘You and Sally were sitting on the harbour wall,’ he said, as if reading her mind. ‘You had on these little denim shorts and a floaty top and you gave me this smile as the boat pulled in… I’ll never forget that smile.’
‘I think we were just delighted to see some actual men in real life,’ she said, almost shyly. ‘My mum enjoyed that day especially.’
‘I do seem to remember your mum practically pushing all the other women out of the way to get to us,’ he said with a chuckle. ‘She’s a force to be reckoned with.’
‘That’s one way to put it,’ said Frankie. ‘I can’t believe you remembered me.’
Jake took a sip of his pint, which had been sitting, untouched, before him.
‘Like I said, you were pretty unforgettable. You are pretty unforgettable.’ His eyes dropped to her mouth, making her belly flip.
‘I…’
‘You don’t have to say anything,’ he said softly. ‘I get to be your friend and that’s enough for me. That has to be enough. But…’
‘But…?’
‘But if you ever want to get back at that dickhead musician, I am available.’
Frankie laughed lightly, grateful to him for breaking the tension but also strangely turned on.
He was making jokes with his mouth but the look on his face…
he was serious. Partially, at least. She gazed at him, her brain on a go-slow just when she needed it to extricate her from this situation.
‘I wouldn’t want to take advantage, Jake. I’m not a user.’
‘I know that. You wouldn’t be. It’s not using if someone is complicit. Willing, even.’
She reached up a hand and touched his cheek. His skin was soft beneath her touch. ‘You’re sweet.’
‘Ouch. Just what every guy wants to hear.’
‘Sorry. I meant it in a good way.’
He laughed, dropping his gaze to the table. ‘Don’t worry. I know that secretly means you think I’m both sweet and devastatingly sexy all at the same time. It’s a killer combination.’
She giggled. He sidled closer to her. ‘We could get back at him right now… if you wanted.’
She hesitated, bit her lip, shuffled on the bench. It was enough. He slid out from the table and stood up in one easy movement, as if he’d been poised to run all that time.
‘You know where I am if you change your mind,’ he said, and then he was gone, his nearly full pint still fogged with condensation.
Frankie put both hands on the table and took four deep, slow breaths, trying desperately to quiet her hammering heart.
That, she had not been expecting today.