Chapter 41
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
By the next morning, Frankie had googled everything there was to google and had read every article on the band’s split. Which was a pointless exercise as they were all essentially the same, just with varying degrees of salaciousness attached.
They were all super clear on one thing, though. No one knew where Dylan was.
And although Frankie had a lot of questions to ask him, had a lot of confusion swirling around in her mind, she was sure about something. They weren’t going to find him. Not on her watch. Not until he wanted to be found.
She’d texted him when she went to bed.
Frankie: I’m so sorry Dylan.
*no response*
Frankie: I don’t know what’s gone on but you’re safe here.
*no response*
Frankie: This is the place.
Dylan:
By morning, he still hadn’t said anything else but there was the heart.
There were blue ticks and there was the heart.
Thank God for the blue ticks and the heart.
He’d seen it, at least. He knew she was thinking of him.
Her heart twisted at the thought of what he’d been through.
What he must have felt, to see the band finish like that.
How desperate, and perhaps even lonely, he must have been to seek solace on an island full of near-strangers. That desperate need to escape.
Frankie tried not to wonder what had gone on. Tried not to speculate, tempting as it was. For the first time in her life, though, deep down in places better left unexamined, part of her wished she’d kept up with the celebrity gossip, just a little more than she had.
She’d see him soon. She’d find out in time. She’d help him, however she could, no matter what. That much she already knew.
But first, there was the small matter of waving her brother off on the ferry.
Frankie sighed and hauled herself out of bed, tiptoed through to the bathroom, splashed water on her face, and brushed her teeth, all the while thinking about Dylan.
She knew she probably should be sparing a thought for Bobby right now, for Sally, how must she be feeling?
But the pull to run down to Dylan’s cottage was so strong, she had to physically force her feet to walk in the other direction.
They walked down the hill slowly as a family, though it was honestly more like a funeral procession. Her mother and Sally were on either side of Bobby, one on each arm, both wailing like banshees all the way, with Bobby looking ever so slightly smug between them.
Frankie and her dad walked behind them, hands folded in front of them. ‘The pallbearers,’ Brian had joked, though his face was serious. Sad.
‘You okay, Dad?’
He sighed. ‘Yeah. I suppose we’ll have to get used to this, with his job and all. It’s just…’
‘Yes?’
‘It’s almost harder this time around. At least we know he’s okay and all that, but I’ve liked having him here, you know?’
‘I do know.’ Frankie nodded, surprising herself. ‘Even I’ll miss him a bit,’ she added, with a grin.
Her father gave her a nudge. ‘Your big brother, eh? What will you do without him?’
‘I’ll cope.’ She laughed. ‘I’ve survived this long, haven’t I?
I’m not sure how Sally will cope though,’ she added, watching her friend.
They hadn’t had much time to talk, Frankie not wanting to steal any of the precious time she had with Bobby, but still, she would have liked the chance to find out how Sally was feeling.
They had been sweethearts, all those years ago, so when Bobby came back everyone had expected a few fireworks.
Maybe a little crush, a little bit of that unrequited love that Dylan was so fond of, on one side or the other.
Most likely Sally; she specialised in unrequited love, after all.
But no one, least of all Frankie, had expected them to reconnect in the way they had.
When they arrived at the harbour steps, there was a little gathering to see him off, watching the Trident ferry approaching across the sea. Five of them: Charlie, Michael, Betty, Albert and… Jake.
Frankie’s heart gave a little stutter at the sight of Jake. He was standing a little way off from the others, his hat in his hands, not dressed in his waders for once but a pair of dark jeans and a striped Breton T-shirt, looking surprisingly stylish, she had to admit.
All the well-wishers cheered, jostling to give Bobby a pat on the back as he approached. He and Sally made their way down to the front like celebrities, smiling and nodding to everyone, before they reached the end of the harbour, where they stood, murmuring to each other.
Her mum and dad did their best to entertain the little send-off committee, while Frankie hung back, desperate to have some kind of communication with Jake.
‘Morning,’ he said with a nod, as she stopped alongside him.
‘Morning,’ she said, wishing he would look at her.
But he kept staring out to sea, his jaw clenched. ‘This must be a bit surreal,’ he said. ‘Saying goodbye to him again so soon.’
‘That’s very insightful of you,’ she said. ‘It is weird, I won’t lie.’
‘Hey, it’s not only fancy musicians who can talk about their feelings, you know,’ said Jake, and he glanced down at her, a small grin on his face.
She smiled up at him, so grateful for that small grin. The tension in her shoulders began to dissipate.
‘I know that,’ she said.
‘Good.’
‘Good.’
‘Jake, listen, I need to say something.’
He turned to her, crossing his arms as he did so to form a barrier between them. She peered up at him, put one hand on his arm. He studied her, his green eyes bright, a slight frown on his forehead. ‘Go on, then,’ he said.
‘Yes. Well, it’s not easy.’
‘I’m sure.’ A muscle in his jaw feathered.
‘It’s just…’ She scratched around for the right words, trying not to say ‘I didn’t want you to think I’d ditched you for Dylan’ out loud. Instead, she said, ‘I didn’t want you to think I didn’t enjoy, you know, the kiss, or that I didn’t appreciate the picnic and all that.’
‘But…?’ he prompted, his eyes flashing.
‘There’s no “but”. That’s it. I didn’t want you to think–’
‘What? That you ditched me for the famous musician as soon as he walked back onto Herm? Practically the very same second, in fact.’
Frankie took a step back, as if struck. Regret or something bloomed in Jake’s face for an instant but it quickly disappeared.
‘It… it wasn’t like that,’ she said, suddenly cautious.
‘How was it, then?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘Then I suggest you work it out,’ he said, his voice a little softer.
She studied his face, his blonde hair, those green eyes.
Did she feel anything for him? Would she want him to kiss her again?
If Dylan wasn’t on the island, if he hadn’t come back, would she ever have thought about him again?
That was the question. The question she simply couldn’t answer.
Dylan had come back and that moment changed everything.
‘I will. Just give me some time,’ she said, putting a hand back on his arm, her eyes as big and pleading as she could manage.
In the back of her mind was a twinge of guilt, a voice telling her to just end it now, put him out of his misery, but she swallowed it down.
Why did she keep causing so much hurt? Jake had been the one who told her to take what she wanted, after all.
It had seemed so easy then, on the bench.
In the dark. But all she actually seemed to be doing since was driving people away.
First, she’d hurt Sally. Now Jake. Everything was changing and Frankie wasn’t sure how to pull it back.
‘You’ve got one week,’ said Jake, his eyes hooded. ‘My contract is up at the end of next week and I’ve got to decide whether to come back next season or not.’
Frankie blinked at him. ‘Seriously?’
He nodded. ‘Seriously.’
‘Fine. One week.’
‘Good,’ said Jake, and with that he was looking back towards the ferry as it docked, and her mother and Sally were crying again.
‘I’d better go,’ said Frankie.
‘Sure,’ said Jake.
‘Thanks for coming,’ she threw his way as she headed further down the harbourside.
‘Sure,’ he said again.
And I’m sorry.
Bobby was loving this, she could tell. He had kissed and hugged them all goodbye and was now standing on the top deck of the empty Trident, hands on his hips like Peter Pan.
In another life he would have made an excellent A-lister.
Besides, something had definitely lightened in him since he arrived back.
Was that Sally’s influence? Or the island working its magic once more?
‘Be good, sis,’ he’d said in her ear before he climbed onto the ferry, grabbing her arm. ‘And listen…’
‘What? I’ll take care of her, don’t worry,’ she’d said, throwing a glance in Sally’s direction.
‘No, that’s not it. I mean, yes, thanks, appreciate it. But this little gem of wisdom is for you.’
Frankie had crossed her arms, instantly suspicious. ‘This ought to be good.’
Bobby had laughed. ‘When is my wisdom anything other than golden?’
‘Do you honestly want me to answer that?’
‘Definitely not.’
‘Go on, then. Lay it on me.’
Bobby’s face had suddenly turned serious and Frankie’s stomach lurched. ‘Sis, I just don’t want you to feel like you can’t leave Herm.’
Frankie stared at him for a long moment. ‘I know that. Besides, I love this place.’
‘I know you do. But it’s okay to want to explore the world, too. Mum and Dad would be fine, you know.’
‘Easy for you to say, you got to do it first. Now I’m stuck with them.’ The words were strong but they had both laughed.
‘Seriously, Franks. I mean it. Marry Dylan Wright, get stinking rich and get off the island. How many chances like this are you gonna get?’
‘Says the man leaving the love of his life behind,’ she’d retorted.
Bobby laughed as if she’d said something ridiculous. ‘The love of my life? Whatever gave you that idea?’
‘It’s obvious,’ Frankie had said.
Bobby had looked across at Sally for a long moment, as if he’d never even considered the possibility before. ‘Sally’s not the love of my life. We’re just having fun, that’s all. Two old friends, reconnecting and having fun. That’s all.’
‘Having fun?’ said Frankie. ‘But does she know that, though?’
He’d shrugged. No big deal. Just fun. ‘Yeah. Course. We talked about it on the first night, as it goes. No strings. For as long as we’re both single.’
Frankie followed his gaze. ‘Sally told you that? That it was no strings? And she was okay with it?’
‘It was her idea,’ said Bobby. ‘Thought I’d hit the jackpot right there.’
Frankie had rolled her eyes.
‘Why do you ask?’ said her brother, still watching Sally.
‘I don’t know,’ said Frankie, honestly. ‘It just seems… I mean, it’s up to you two of course.’
‘I get the feeling she’s into some other guy anyway.’
‘Okay this just gets weirder.’
‘Take care of her for me, sis,’ was all Bobby had said, giving her a squeeze.
Now, as he made a mini speech of sorts from the top of the ferry, Frankie slipped up beside her friend and put an arm around her shoulders. Sally leaned into her, a little sob escaping from her throat.
‘What is it about us and watching men leave?’ said Sally, a bitter edge to her voice.
‘I don’t know,’ said Frankie, giving her friend a squeeze. ‘They should be watching us leave.’
‘I actually can’t believe he’s going,’ replied Sally, deep pain in her voice.
‘I’m so sorry, Sal. Hey…’ Keep it casual. ‘Is it, you know, serious between you two?’
‘Bit late to ask me that now,’ said Sally with a kind of half snort, half sob.
‘I know. But I mean, is it though? Do you have feelings for him? Because, you know, it seemed like you guys were just mucking about?’ said Frankie gently.
Sally was silent for a long while. ‘I thought we were, too,’ she said, eventually. ‘You didn’t think I’d be stupid enough to go there again, did you?’ But when she turned to Frankie, her eyes were filled with tears.
Frankie dithered for a moment, wondering whether she should ask the captain to wait, whether she should tell Bobby to take another boat, to stay one more night, but it was already too late. Bobby waved and saluted from the top deck as they chugged out of the harbour.
‘I think he’s still my annoying big brother,’ said Frankie.
‘That much is true,’ said Sally.
Lily came up beside them and the three women watched the boat all the way back to Guernsey. All the way to St Peter Port, where they could just about see it navigating its way in amongst the ferries and sailing boats that bobbed in the harbour mouth. No one spoke. No one knew what to say.
Then, ‘Right, time to get back to work,’ said Sally as brightly as she could manage.
Lily and Frankie exchanged a glance.
‘I’ll cover for you today,’ said Frankie, wondering where that had come from in her brain.
‘Honestly, I’d rather be busy,’ said Sally.
‘But, sweetheart,’ began Lily. ‘I couldn’t even think about work today and I’m not…’
‘Not what?’ said Sally.
‘Not in love with him, I think she was going to say,’ said Frankie.
Sally stared at them. ‘I’m not in love with your stupid brother,’ she said, eyes wide.
‘Are you sure about that?’ said Frankie, tilting her head to the side.
‘Yes, I’m bloody sure.’ Sally looked back out to sea. ‘I’m not in love with him.’
‘You said that already,’ said Lily, putting a hand on her shoulder.
‘Well, then,’ said Frankie.
‘Well, then,’ said Sally with another of those too-bright smiles. But her eyes were somewhere far away.
When Frankie turned to head back up the harbour, Jake was nowhere to be seen. Her heart gave a little lurch, but she swallowed it down fast.