Chapter 45
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
It was almost overwhelming, this chemistry between them, this pull. The kiss she had dreamed of for so long, this moment that she’d fantasised about, it was even better in real life. Almost too much. Too. Damn. Good.
As Dylan Wright kissed her on that bench in the warm sunshine, his mouth claiming hers, setting her, well, everything, on fire all at once, it was like an out of body experience.
One hand was in her curls as he kissed her, deeper now, pulling her to him, his tongue grazing hers, exploring her mouth with his own, moaning softly as, emboldened, she moved her tongue against his.
One strong arm wrapped around her, pulling her closer, the other hand was on her knee, slipping slowly along her thigh until he was circling the sensitive skin of her inner thigh with his thumb.
Her insides by this point had transformed into molten jelly or hot lava or some combination of the two.
More, more, more.
She melted into him as the kiss got more intense, his tongue fully exploring her mouth now, harder, more insistent, and burning heat was spreading across her body like a wildfire, in the depths of her stomach and between her legs, causing her toes to curl.
Her bare legs were sticking to the wood of the bench, the backrest was digging in under her shoulders but she didn’t care. His mouth claimed hers, their chests pressed together, and there was an urgency in his kiss that made her light-headed with lust.
But it was when Dylan pulled back for a moment, those dark navy eyes on hers, when he lifted his hand from her leg and brushed his thumb lightly across her jaw, her cheek, that she knew if he asked her to leave the island right now and go, well, anywhere at all, she wouldn’t even think twice.
He bent to kiss her again and she leaned against him, resisting the urge to climb right onto his lap.
Whose idea was this stupid walk anyway? They were miles from civilisation, at least a mile from the nearest bed.
She was already calculating how disgraceful it would be if they were to sneak into the field behind them, what the odds were of them being caught.
And then, right at that moment, ‘Ahem,’ came a voice, and Frankie’s heart stuttered and stalled in her chest as they sprang apart.
Don’t be Jake. Don’t be Jake. Don’t be Jake.
Who else but Jake was standing there, looking down at them, his face a peculiar mix of grey and green.
‘Well, doesn’t this look familiar?’ he said, a bitter edge to his voice that was like nails down Frankie’s back.
Dylan went still beside her. Frankie thought she might vomit. Her face had already been flushed but now all the blood rushed to her feet and she swayed a little on the bench, putting a hand on Dylan’s leg to steady herself. It was a tiny movement, but Jake caught it and his jaw clenched.
‘I didn’t mean to interrupt,’ he said, through teeth so gritted Frankie was surprised it was audible.
‘Sure about that?’ said Dylan smoothly.
Jake’s fist clenched against his side and Frankie scooted a little further away from Dylan, her vision narrowing in panic.
‘Jake. I’m…’ she started to say, then stopped. What was she? Sorry? Not really. Ashamed? A little. Guilty? Yes. Mainly that.
‘Save it,’ said Jake, holding up a hand. ‘At least you’ve made up my mind for me, Frankie.’ Dylan’s eyes shot to hers as he said it.
She winced, shaking her head. ‘Don’t say that, Jake. Please don’t give up Herm because of me,’ she said. ‘You have friends here. You’re part of life here. Hell, my family love you more than me. My mum does, anyway.’
Jake tutted. ‘You don’t get it, do you, Frankie?’
‘Get what?’ she said. ‘What don’t I get? Tell me, Jake. Please.’
Jake sighed and hung his head. She had never seen him look so defeated.
Dylan whistled through his teeth. ‘Oh. Shit,’ he said.
‘What?’ said Frankie, looking between them.
‘I was right. He is in love with you,’ said Dylan.
Jake moved towards them slightly, then seemed to think better of it.
‘Is that true, Jake?’ said Frankie. She known his crush was pretty serious, but to hear it said like that, so casually…
her heart twisted in sympathy. And yes, in guilt.
It all came back in that moment, the memory of that night on the bench with him, so different and yet so similar, his words about her, how she needed to focus on herself.
How she needed to get away. He’d been utterly selfless.
Kind. And this was how she had repaid him.
She stood up. Moved towards him. ‘Jake? Is it true?’
He lifted his green eyes to hers and they were full of sorrow.
‘Of course it is, Franks,’ he said, his voice catching. ‘It’s not just a crush, right? I’ve loved you since… well, I’ve loved you forever, it feels like. Surely you knew that?’
She shook her head. She did, of course, but still. ‘No. No I had no idea it was… that serious. Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘I did. Don’t you remember? At least, I tried.’ He gestured towards Dylan. ‘Anyway, would it have made a difference?’
Dylan was looking at them, and for the first time Frankie thought she could see a touch of wariness in his eyes.
A slipping of that self-confidence. A slight wobble.
Did he really care about her the way Jake did?
Would he give a damn if she told him to go, told him to get on with his life without her?
Did they have any kind of future together?
She decided honesty was the only way to go. A seagull screeched overhead and nearly made her jump out of her skin. She laughed nervously, looking Jake in the eye. ‘I can’t answer that,’ said Frankie. ‘I don’t know. That’s the truth of it, Jake.’
‘You mean, there was a chance?’
She softened. Put a hand on his arm, so conscious of Dylan watching her every move. ‘Of course there was,’ she said, and his green eyes sparkled for a second with hope. ‘But…’ she went on.
‘Oh, no thanks,’ said Jake, stepping back. ‘You can keep that “but” if you don’t mind. I’ve heard enough.’
Tears prickled Frankie’s eyes. ‘You don’t even know what I was going to say.’
Jake shrugged. ‘Whatever you say, it won’t be good. But… you met this guy and lost your head. But… you don’t love me back. But… you need to get out and travel the world. Whatever it is, I really don’t need to know.’
Frankie’s arms dropped to her sides. She was inches away from Dylan, who was leaning forward on the bench, arms on his knees, his whole body tense.
She looked at Jake for a long moment, trying to picture herself with him, trying to remember what it had been like to kiss him, wondering if they had any kind of future.
But try as she might, as much as she wanted in some way to be able to make him happy, to give him what he thought he wanted so much, she just couldn’t.
Her head was full of Dylan and whether or not his was really full of her, she had to take a chance.
She had to see if it could work. No one, not even Jake, had ever made her feel the way she did when Dylan looked at her. And that for now had to be enough.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said, resisting the urge to give him a hug, holding herself as still as she could on the cliff path.
Jake swallowed hard, then nodded. He turned to Dylan and held out his hand.
‘Take care of her, man,’ he said as Dylan stood up, grabbing his proffered hand and clapping him good-naturedly on the back.
‘And if you hurt her,’ Jake went on, in a low voice, pulling him in close, ‘I’ll hunt you down, chop you into tiny little pieces and use you as bait. ’
Dylan went white. ‘That’s very inventive,’ he said, slowly backing away a little.
‘Fishermen can be creative, too,’ said Jake, and to Frankie’s relief a slight smile twisted his mouth.
Dylan gave a nervous laugh. ‘So I see.’
‘Ignore him. He’s an oyster fisherman,’ said Frankie, ‘it’s not like he’s out finding great whites or anything.’
‘You can’t hunt great whites,’ said Jake.
‘You know what I mean,’ said Frankie.
Dylan didn’t look reassured. Jake gave him one last glare, then began to back away, his eyes still on Frankie’s.
‘Jake,’ she said, the word catching in her throat.
‘It’s okay,’ he said, giving her a faint smile. ‘Just don’t forget me when you’re in Hello magazine or whatever the kids are reading these days.’
Dylan snorted at that, the colour returning to his cheeks.
‘And Jake?’ said Frankie.
‘Yes?’ said Jake, kicking at invisible stones on the path before him, clearly desperate to leave. Who could blame him?
She took a deep breath. ‘Look, when you get through this, which, you know, you absolutely will, and probably much sooner than you think…’ Jake scoffed but she kept going, regardless. ‘When you do, there’s someone else who, you know, might not think you were the worst thing ever.’
Jake frowned. ‘Please tell me we’re not talking about your mum again.’
Frankie shook her head so vigorously it felt like it might fall off.
‘No, God. No. Anything but that. It’s someone much less married, for a start.
Someone… not a million miles away from here.
’ When Jake didn’t respond, she carried on.
‘Someone you might know. You know, you should look into that is all I’m saying. ’
‘Do you mean Sally? Does she mean Sally?’ said Dylan, looking from one to the other as if he was only just catching up.
Jake smiled weakly. ‘I got it, thanks.’
‘Good, because I wouldn’t want you to be alone and…’ Frankie went on. ‘Give it some thought, you know? She’s a great girl.’
‘I think he’s got it, Frankie,’ Dylan cut in, and Jake gave him a grateful look. Too far. She’d gone too far now. ‘Give the guy some space, eh?’
‘You’re right. Sorry, Jake, I’ll stop now.’
Jake smiled fondly. ‘Good luck, you guys,’ he said as he walked away.
‘And you, man,’ said Dylan.
They watched until Jake had disappeared around the next bend in the path, and only then did they both flop back down on the bench, looking at each other with relief.
Relief, in Frankie’s case, and still that heavy weight of guilt of course.
Had she made the right decision? Would she regret letting Jake go?
She definitely needed to stop kissing boys on benches, that was for sure.
Frankie tried to sit with her feelings, searching her heart for that familiar pang of regret, that desperate need to run after Jake, to throw herself into his arms and beg his forgiveness.
But no. Nothing. Stony silence. Maybe she was just a heartless cow.
And so it proved to be the next second when Dylan put a hand on her arm and said, ‘Where were we?’ with a cheeky grin, and again she was tempted to climb onto his lap and make him see stars.
She came to her senses, a little shocked by her own filthy brain, and smacked him on the arm.
‘Er, timing much? Plus, the tourists off the first boat will be along here any minute. We’ll just let Jake get a bit further ahead and then we’d better get going.
’ She paused and sighed. ‘Poor Jake. That was so awful, I feel a bit sick.’
Dylan’s face grew serious. ‘Are you okay, Frankie?’ he said. ‘It was awful. I feel terrible for the guy.’
‘He said he wanted to chop you into pieces.’
‘I get that a lot,’ said Dylan with that crooked smile of his.
‘Yikes. Understanding more of why you want to hide on a tiny island.’
‘Now you see.’
‘Upset many husbands, boyfriends and so on, have you?’
Dylan frowned. ‘Wait, he wasn’t your boyfriend, was he? You said nothing was going on between you two.’
‘Um…’ said Frankie, her heart thundering again.
‘What?’ said Dylan.
‘No, not my boyfriend,’ she said.
‘You hesitated.’
‘I paused. That’s not the same thing.’
‘It is in my book,’ said Dylan, his eyes searching her face. ‘And come to think of it, why did he say this looks familiar, all bitter and that?’
‘Never mind. Come on, you,’ said Frankie hastily. ‘Let’s get moving.’
They walked back slowly, being overtaken every now and then by eager beaver tourists in their macs and sturdy walking sandals, enormous cameras under one arm.
After a few metres, Dylan reached for her hand and a smile spread across Frankie’s face, her body responding instantly at his touch.
They walked the rest of the way hand in hand wherever the path allowed, right up to Belvoir Bay.
‘Whew,’ said Dylan, letting out a long breath. The bay looked stunningly beautiful that morning, the sky a perfect blue, the sea sparkling, lapping gently against the sand. A few families were already spread out across the beach, children running into the surf and out again, squealing.
‘Coffee here or do we go on to Shell Beach?’ said Dylan. ‘Or shall we go back?’
The words were innocent enough but the way his voice went all gravelly set Frankie’s pulse racing. As she regarded him from under lowered lashes, trying to look at least a little seductive, there was a cry from the path leading from the centre of the island.
‘Frankie! There you are!’
It was Sally, running towards them as fast as she could, slipping her way down the sandy path. But it was the paleness of her face, the way her brow was knitted together, which made the blood drain from Frankie’s body.
‘What’s going on?’ she said, but somehow, she already knew.
‘It’s your dad,’ said Sally. ‘Come quickly.’
She glanced at Dylan, who gave one firm nod, and in less than a second all three of them were racing up the path towards the Manor.
Sally was so out of breath she was barely able to get any words out but on the way they somehow gleaned that Brian had been taken ill, they were waiting for Dr Mac, and it was not looking good.
By the time they arrived at the house, Frankie was cursing herself for ever having left that morning, for not checking on them before she did.
When she expressed as much, both Dylan and Sally reassured her repeatedly that it wasn’t her fault but it did nothing to relieve the dread in the pit of her stomach. This was the universe getting its revenge. Heaven knew, she deserved it.
Please be okay please be okay please be okay.